And Those Who Trespass Against Us

by Helen M MacPherson

  Catriona raised her head. "Of course not. She's a nun for heaven's sake." She returned her face to the planes of Adele's stomach while her hands casually played with the ribbon on the back of Adele's skirt.

  "Katherine said she used to live out here," Adele replied, her tone conversational. "Funny--I don't remember you mentioning it."

  Catriona was glad for the concealment afforded by Adele's stomach, for she was suddenly afraid of what her eyes might betray. "She did, but the arrangement was only temporary. She now lives with Susan in town, and this gives her the freedom to tend to the families of the district without interference from the ladies' committee."

  Adele's hands briefly stopped. "Strange--I thought she'd have been able to achieve the same out here."

  Catriona removed her hands and stood up. "She did." She looked deeply into Adele's eyes. "But, she decided to move into town."

  Adele glanced around the room, as if searching for a way to frame her next remark, then again settled her gaze on Catriona. "Was there anything between the two of you?"

  Reticent to admit what had occurred, Catriona tried to answer as truthfully as possible. "We are close. But there'll never be anything more than a strong friendship. She's a nun, and I wouldn't jeopardise our friendship for something else."

  Adele leant against the table and drew Catriona into her arms. "So, now she's living with Susan?" Catriona nodded. "Does she know about Susan?"

  Catriona blinked. "I'm surprised. How did you know about Susan?"

  "I know the difference between a cursory glance and the fine appraisal of another woman whose tastes are the same as mine. Let me say on the day of my arrival Susan's appraisal of me was very flattering."

  Catriona threw her head back and laughed. "I can't wait to tell her she's been caught at her own game. She always reads me so well. It'll be ever so delicious to tell her she's been found out for once."

  "I must say in her defence the assessment was reasonably mutual," Adele added, a twinkle in her eye. "She's an incredibly attractive woman."

  "If that's the case you'll get a second look next Friday. She's coming out to dinner, as is Katherine. Be aware though, Susan's bringing her partner. I don't think she'll be as appreciative of your roving eye as Susan."

  IN THE DAYS leading up to Friday, Katherine kept busy teaching the children on the farms surrounding the town. Fortunately, this left her insufficient time for the persistent ladies' committee or Father Cleary. She knew she should allocate her time more evenly. But as her stay in the town grew, her focus had shifted. She was well aware of her calling as a nun and that certain things were expected of her. Her habit was a daily reminder of the religious demands on her life. Despite these demands, in the precious moments when she had time to think, she questioned her initial decision to become a nun. Such thoughts haunted her and remained unresolved as she, Susan, and Me Lin left for the dinner party.

  ARRIVING AT THE doorstep of Gleneagle, Katherine tried to recall the last time she'd been invited to such an evening. She sighed, remembering how long it had been and how things had changed since then. The group made its way up the stairs and were greeted at the door by Adele.

  While the introductions were made, Katherine surreptitiously viewed Adele. Her black hair had been fashionably gathered into a chignon, raising it clear of her long slender neck. Her dress, with its gold hues dancing in the porch light, perfectly accentuated her figure.

  She brought herself back to the present when she sensed Adele's gaze upon her. "Hello Adele. At least this time we haven't surprised each other. That's a lovely dress you're wearing," Katherine said, extremely conscious of her own drab attire.

  "Thank you." Adele motioned them through the open door. "Why don't we go into the parlour? Catriona's checking on the meal."

  "I don't mean to be rude," Katherine said, "but before we get too carried away with the evening's activities, would you mind if I gather some books from the study? It would be silly to waste an opportunity while I'm here not to pick up some more books."

  "Certainly," Adele replied. "You know where the study is. Why don't you join us in the parlour when you're finished?"

  Katherine continued down the hall, happy to have been given breathing space to gather her thoughts which, to say the least, were at war with one another. An irrational part of her mind kept insisting the role of hostess Adele was so capably filling should have been hers. Shaking her head in agitation, she raised the light on the trimmed lamp by the study door and went inside, grateful for the solitude.

  "GOOD EVENING, LADIES," Catriona said as she made her way into the parlour. She took Me Lin's hand and gallantly placed a kiss on the back of it. "Me Lin, you bring light to what would otherwise be a dull occasion."

  "I expect you radiate enough of that yourself-- sometimes more than you can handle." The group laughed, and Susan's eyes twinkled at her partner's repulse of Catriona's mock pass.

  "Tonight should be a fine evening thanks to Mrs. Johnston's good cooking." Catriona poured herself a drink. "I must tell you, though, about something that occurred when I was organising for her to do the cooking. Susan, after speaking with you about the idea of a dinner, I decided to approach Robert Johnston, to see if his mother was available to cook for us tonight." Catriona turned to Adele. "He's the blacksmith's apprentice. When I went to speak with him, I found him in what could only be, by the body language of the two, a close conversation with the caretaker's son, William Gilchrist. When they heard me approach they both stepped clear of each other looking rather guilty as they did so."

  Susan sipped a sherry. "It's funny you should say that. I've seen them together on a number of occasions and they certainly look like a lot more than just friends."

  The group shared a knowing laugh. The door opened, admitting Katherine. "Who looked like more than friends?" Katherine glanced around the room. "What a lovely group for a dinner party. I'd almost forgotten what fashion looked like. Susan, I know I've said it already, but that blue silk dress would do any Irish drawing room justice. And Me Lin that maroon dress is beautiful. It matches you perfectly."

  Me Lin tilted her head in acknowledgement. "Thank you. It took me quite a while to make both our dresses." She spared a glance at Susan. "But the effort was certainly worth the reward."

  Catriona's breath caught when Katherine's gaze came to rest on her. She was pleased at the approving look she saw in Katherine's eyes. Despite Katherine's penetrating inspection, Catriona tried to remain as casual as possible.

  "And look at you." Katherine slowly walked toward Catriona. "Your trousers and boots are just right for the occasion." She reached out as if to touch her shirt and then stopped, suddenly conscious of the other people in the room.

  Catriona swallowed when Katherine's eyes lingered on the diamond pendant resting in the open V of her shirt.

  "How are you ever going to keep that lovely cream silk shirt clean?"

  Catriona was quietly flattered by Katherine's obvious pleasure at her attire. "Thank you for your vote of confidence. I must also thank Me Lin for making my trousers. It's not all that easy for a lady to walk into a tailor and ask for a pair of trousers, especially out here." The gathering shared a laugh. "As for your question regarding who looked more than merely friends--I don't think you've met them yet, so never mind. Can I offer you a watered-down whisky perhaps?"

  "Miss Pelham, you must know, as a Celt, the only way I drink good scotch is in its purest state, not tainted by water." She grinned at Catriona's surprised look. "Since it's been quite a while since I took a 'wee dram', I'm going to have to refuse. If I didn't, then by the end of the night, between whisky and the wine with dinner, I believe I'd be a right royal mess."

  Adele placed her glass down beside her and rose.

  "Speaking of which, I think I'll check on the first course. It shouldn't be too long until it's ready to serve. If you'd make yourself comfortable for the moment, I'll let you know when it's ready."

  Katherine also headed for the door. "Let me h
elp you. Surely it's too big a job for one." Both women left, closing the door behind them.

  Susan waited till their footfalls diminished and then turned to Catriona. "If you think that woman doesn't know what she wants, then you're wrong. Given what I've just witnessed I'd have to say there goes someone who has made up her mind. She just doesn't know how to ask for it."

  THE PURE LINES of the dining room were of understated elegance dominated by a simple yet elegant red cedar table and matching hutch. As was the case throughout the house, Catriona's watercolours adorned the walls, their soft vistas visible by the light shed from three silver candelabras.

  Dinner was a simple fare with an entrée of rabbit terrine, followed by Beef Wellington, which happened to be one of Katherine's favourite dishes. Accompanying the Wellington was a range of roast vegetables, suitably complemented by a couple of bottles of claret, which were Susan's contribution to the meal.

  From her place at the head of the table, Catriona was the ever-attentive host, drawing Katherine into conversation when she fell quiet. In reality, Katherine preferred her silence. It gave her the opportunity to view the social interaction occurring around the room. She'd noted, when they entered, Catriona had walked ahead of Adele and herself to pull back their seats. Susan did the same for Me Lin.

  Susan was very caring of Me Lin, and the looks between the two women, of comfort and happiness and an obvious commitment toward one other, surprised Katherine. Why hadn't she noticed their interplay earlier? Yet what they shared confused her. Was that the same as what she and Catriona had shared?

  While sipping her claret, Katherine furtively viewed Catriona and Adele. There was closeness between them also. Yet it was slightly different from what she sensed between Susan and Me Lin. She searched her mind for words to compare the two and was at a loss. What wasn't lost on her were the frequent light touches Adele gave Catriona when she was emphasising a point or questioning Catriona whose mind, at times, was elsewhere. Those touches bespoke familiarity and comfort. Katherine missed those same such touches she'd shared with Catriona.

  KATHERINE WASN'T THE only silent spectator. Adele scrutinised the looks that passed between Catriona and Katherine. No amount of shadows could hide Catriona's face when she teased Katherine or engaged her in conversation. Sitting beside Katherine made it difficult for Adele to clearly judge without being too obvious what Katherine's reactions were to Catriona's comments. The few times she managed to steal a glance proved enlightening. The way Katherine reacted to Catriona, as if drawing close and then suddenly retreating from their conversation, hinted at some sort of private struggle on Katherine's behalf.

  THE DINNER DREW to a close and the party rose to adjourn. Katherine waved away Adele's attempts to gather the dessert plates. "It's only fair I help clear the table. Why don't you go into the parlour and I'll meet you there? I'll put these plates in water. If I don't, they'll be rock hard by morning."

  "Like your scones I expect?" Catriona teased and she moved to help Katherine.

  Susan took the plate out of the Catriona's hands, handed it to Katherine and made a shooing motion. "You three go into the parlour. I'll help Katherine with these." Susan picked up the jug of cream and the remains of a Mulberry pie. "Make sure there's a port waiting for me when we bring in the tea."

  Susan placed the cream on the kitchen counter. "That was a most successful evening, don't you think?"

  Preoccupied, Katherine put the crockery in the washbasin. "The evening was lovely, and made even more so by such nice company." Moving over to pour milk into the jug of the tea service she said as casually as possible, "I didn't realise how close you are with Me Lin. Between your busy schedules and her recent trip to Sydney, I think tonight was the first time I've actually seen the two of you relax together in the company of other friends. Catriona told me she came with you when you left the goldfields."

  Susan busied herself with pouring a kettle of hot water over the bowls. "Yes, we're good friends, and we run a very successful business. With her seamstress skills and the way my work in the store provides for us, we have a nice income together. All in all it's a very comfortable arrangement." She placed the kettle back on the stove.

  Katherine closed the distance between them. "Would you mind if I ask you a question?"

  "Of course you can, and if I can answer it, I will," Susan replied as calmly as possible, her eyes never leaving Katherine's face.

  Katherine searched Susan's face. "Are you and Me Lin lovers?"

  Susan eyebrows raised and her mouth opened. A soft breath escaped Susan's mouth, as she looked toward the door and then back at Katherine. "Are you and Catriona lovers?"

  Katherine stepped back as if she'd been slapped.

  Susan held up her hands. "I'm sorry, Katherine. My last question was rude, presumptuous and entirely inappropriate." She took a seat. "I trust what I'm about to tell you won't be repeated, except perhaps to Catriona, as it would create great pain to both Me Lin and me. Yes, we are and have been together for some time." She finished and waited, as if bracing herself for a less than favourable reaction to her revelation.

  Katherine pulled up a chair beside her. "How did you know? I mean, what happened for you to know you felt this way for each other?" she asked, desperate for simple answers to what was an infinitely complex proposition.

  Susan unclasped her hands. "It's not an easy question to answer. You know I've been married and this provides a convenient cloak of respectability for me. Yet I was never happy with the arrangement. Somehow I felt there must be more to what existed between my husband and me.

  "Not long after the death of Me Lin's husband, I persuaded my husband to employ her. I knew of her skill as a seamstress. She'd been a great help to many of the women on the goldfields. Her work as a seamstress was what she loved to do, but this wasn't all she did. She also took in laundry. My husband could see the financial return in such a venture. He agreed and, so, she worked under my supervision.

  "In the quiet moments of the day we'd often sit and talk. When we were together, I felt a connection I'd never experienced. After my husband died and I decided to leave the goldfields, it seemed only natural that she accompany me. Over the months our friendship grew stronger. There was no great incident--moreso a gradual development and recognition of deeper feelings than those of merely friendship. One night she came to my room and has been there ever since." She lightly touched Katherine's chest with the tip of her finger. "The feeling comes from within, Katherine. No one else can tell you. It's how you feel."

  Katherine creased her brows while she digested Susan's words. Looking up, she took Susan's hand and smiled. "Thank you for sharing your story. It's obviously something very personal for the two of you. Rest assured your secret will certainly not be discussed with anyone in town." Katherine looked at Susan's relieved face. "I expect your disclosure will make the, ah, night time arrangement between the two of you more amenable," she teased.

  Susan furiously blushed. "You can't imagine how relieved I am you're happy to stay with us. We'd never do anything which would make you feel uncomfortable and cause you to leave."

  Katherine softly laughed. "Don't you think I'm running out of places to stay? Besides, if I was to move out of the store, can you imagine what the reaction would be? If you're happy to have me stay, then I'm comfortable where I am. After all," she wistfully asked, "where else would I go?"

  Susan placed her hand over Katherine's. "Is there anything you wish to speak with me about?"

  Indecision clouded Katherine's features. She opened her mouth to reply and Adele and Catriona's laughter wafted through the house.

  Katherine looked at the door and then back to Susan, her mask once again in place. "No, everything's fine. Though I think I've monopolised enough of your time. Why don't you take the tea in and I'll join you once I've put the salt and pepper tray away."

  Susan nodded. "All right, but don't take too long or your tea will get cold."

  As Susan left the kitchen, Katherine ga
thered a platter and an ornate lamp, and headed for the dining room. The light from the dining room's silver candelabras had long since been extinguished. Katherine worked silently by the warm glow, first removing the candles from their place and then returning the salt and pepper tray to its place within the hutch.

  She finished her task, but instead of returning to the party, she took a seat at the now-vacant table. With her elbows resting on the red cedar, she cupped her head in her hands to consider how she really felt about Catriona. Was it the same feelings Susan had for Me Lin? She vigorously rubbed her face. That's not possible, she thought, after all I'm a nun.

  Isn't that excuse wearing thin? A tiny voice inside of her challenged.

  Running her hand through her hair she replayed the interaction between Catriona and Adele, realising there was more to their friendship than what she had first presumed. She struggled to comprehend how she felt about this development, and then the door to the dining room opened. Catriona entered and quietly closed the door behind her.

  "What are you doing in here all by yourself?" She sat beside Katherine. "Haven't you enjoyed the party?"

  With Catriona's arrival, Katherine felt some of her tension dissipate. "I've very much enjoyed myself and the dresses everyone wore. It's been a while since I've seen such lovely evening gowns. They were quite a sight." She looked at Catriona. "And you look resplendent in your blouse and trousers. It's a shame I made the evening dull with my habit," she finished self-consciously. She looked at her hands.

  Catriona knelt beside her and tilted Katherine's chin to look into her eyes. "Beauty isn't made by someone's clothes, Katherine. They merely serve to complement it. Don't ever think you're not beautiful because of the habit you wear. It's what's underneath which makes you beautiful and how you feel about yourself." She took a breath and quietly added, "For what it's worth, you're very beautiful to me."