I fought to hide my burning anger and embarrassment. Jessica. She’d taunted me on an almost obsessive basis since the trial three years ago. Jessica needed to prove she was done with me, that way none of the other kids would think she’d fallen from her Queen Bee pedestal and deigned to socialize with a convict’s daughter.
Tears threatened, but I pushed them down and lifted my chin, ignoring the peals of laughter. They went on and on, new people joining in each second.
I yanked my locker door open and pretended to search for a book. I wanted so desperately to disappear, but no magic wand materialized on the locker shelf to help me. I shoved my bag in the narrow space and prayed for the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Unfortunately, those sorts of things never happen when you want them to.
Jessica sidled up next to me, eyes wide in mock innocence. “Looking for your invitation?” Her trusty sidekicks giggled some more.
“Please leave me alone.” I shut the door and twisted away in resignation.
She reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me back toward her. “You don’t belong here,” she hissed. “You know it.” She poked me in the chest with a perfectly manicured fingernail. “And we all know it.” Her icy stare dripped disdain, and she flipped her long blond mane over her shoulder in triumph.
I yanked my arm free. This time she didn’t bother to stop me. I turned and walked down the hall before realizing I didn’t have any of my books. It didn’t matter; I couldn’t imagine sitting in class knowing everyone was staring and whispering after Jessica’s latest stunt. I needed to get out of there.
Tears scalded my eyes and heat scurried up my neck as I speed walked away, but it’d be a cold day in hell before I’d let her see me cry. I reached out to rip open the front doors of the school, but before I could make my escape, a hand clamped my upper arm. Not hard, but I jumped anyway.
“Sam! Where’re you going?”
My heart rate slowed back down at the sound of his voice. My best—no, scratch that, my only real—friend in the world. Jeremy.
I bowed my head, allowing my hair to fall in a curtain in front of my face. I didn’t need a mirror to tell me my pale skin would be all blotchy and gross from fighting back tears.
Jeremy’s grasp on my arm loosened, and his voice grew softer as he took another step my way, leaning his head toward me, so close that I could smell the toothpaste he’d used that morning. “Hey, you okay?”
I bit my lip, stomach flopping all over the place, brought on by Jessica’s words still ringing in my ears as well as Jeremy’s caring. To be honest, I didn’t know which was harder to take right that second. Both broke me in their own way.
The first, because three years of constant torture at the hands of someone who’d once been my best friend sometimes seemed like three hundred. The latter, because I was petrified that Jer would end up leaving too. Like my dad, and my mom shortly after that.
Kids rushed past, hurrying to get to class before the tardy bell rang.
Jeremy’s hand slid down my arm to graze my wrist for the briefest of seconds. His touch always made me feel so safe. “Wait for me. I’ll be right back.”
I nodded, still unable to face him.
“Yo, Cody! Hang on.” Jeremy crossed the hall and dug some papers out of his backpack before handing them to Cody Miller, a guy from our English Lit class. Cody shot me a quizzical glance before turning back and muttering to Jeremy while giving him an elbow jab and smile. Jeremy shook his head and said something I couldn’t hear then clapped Cody on the shoulder and headed back my way and pointed to the door.
“What are you doing?” I asked. Jeremy wasn’t the type to just ditch school, far from it. I didn’t want him to miss class because of me.
He shrugged, and shaggy brown hair spilled into his eyes. “C’mon. Let’s get out of here.” He reached past me and pulled the handle.
“Wait! I’m fine. You don’t have to come with me.”
He turned and looked me directly in the eyes. “I know I don’t.”
My heartbeat sped up a little at his words. “Thanks, Jer,” I whispered.
His familiar grin peeked through, breaking the spell. “Now let’s go before Kurick comes and we both land in detention.”
I couldn’t help but laugh a little. He nodded his head toward the heavy door and tugged it open, motioning for me to go first.
As I stepped outside, the autumn air cooled my cheeks, and I glanced up at the overcast sky. Jeremy fell into step next to me. He glanced my way as I shivered.
“Here, take mine.” He shrugged his jacket off and leaned closer to carefully slip it around my shoulders. I warmed instantly, partly from the heavy cotton and partly from him being so close. I inhaled, and his familiar scent enveloped me.
“Thanks.” I smiled up at him.
His soft smile warmed me even more. “Anytime.”
We walked a few more steps toward the student parking lot. “C’mon.” He shoulder bumped me. “I’ll buy you a coffee and you can tell me all about it. Besides, I owe you. All the times you’ve helped me with English papers and put up with my movie picks, it’s the least I can do.”
I shook my head and laughed again as I thanked my lucky stars I had him in my life.
Three
Are you comfortable with the skin you’re in? Are you screaming loud enough to be important? Are you following the path that you thought you would or wouldn’t?
—36 Crazyfists
“So what’s going on?” Jeremy stirred cream and sugar into his coffee across the small table.
I shook my head and blew on my own large coffee before taking a hesitant sip. “I don’t know. The usual. Jessica.” I shrugged, not sure what to say. How do you explain the culmination of years of torment? Everyone has a breaking point, and I’d reached mine.
“Did you see it?” I asked.
“See what?”
I filled him in on the locker art. He swore under his breath. He knew all the vindictive stunts she’d pulled, and couldn’t figure out Jessica’s problem anymore than I could.
“I’m sorry, Sam.” He reached across the table to squeeze my hand. “It sucks, and she’s a bitch. But just think, by this time next year you’ll be in college, and all of this crap will be behind you.”
At his words, the realization that we’d be apart for the first time in years slammed into me. I mean, I always knew the day was coming, but I’d never really wanted to face it—so I kind of blocked it out. While I couldn’t wait to get away from this town, the idea of not being close to Jeremy anymore sent slivers of cold dread through me.
I offered a shaky smile and nodded.
“So, did you decide yet which school you think you’re gonna go to?” I peeked at him over my coffee cup.
He lifted his shoulders and let them drop again before answering. “I’m not sure. But at least now I know that I have a decent chance of getting in to one of them, thanks to you.” He smiled, and my heart squeezed in my chest a little bit.
A few weeks ago, I’d helped him with the essays for his college applications. Not that he really needed it, but when he’d asked, there was no way I could say no.
“What about you? Still intent on Columbia?”
I nodded. It’d been my dream for years. I couldn’t even say for sure why. Maybe it had something to do with not wanting to go too far away from my aunt after all she’d done for me. Maybe a tiny piece of me still didn’t want to move too far away from my father, even though I hadn’t been able to bring myself to visit him the entire time he’d been in prison.
And in the back of my mind, I kept hoping that Jeremy would stay in state too. So even if we weren’t a couple of streets away from each other anymore, it wouldn’t be like we were just disappearing from each other’s lives.
He looked down at the table for a second and then raised his eyes to meet mine. “I can’t imagine not seeing you every day.”
I blinked, fighting back the sudden tears that threatened. “I know,” I said, m
y voice quiet. “Me either.”
He took my hand once again and held it, not saying more.
We went back for afternoon classes. Jeremy managed to talk me down from bagging the entire day. Probably a good thing since we had a major test in chemistry seventh period; plus my aunt would kill me if she found out I’d skipped. Hopefully the school wouldn’t call her given I’d faked a note saying I’d had a doctor’s appointment that morning.
The rest of the day went by fairly uneventfully…until I ran into Jessica while I collected my books to take home at the end of the day.
“Hey, Sam.” Her breath warmed my neck as she leaned in like a jackal hunting a rabbit.
I closed my eyes. One day. That’s all I wanted. One freaking day without her constant needling. Over twelve hundred days…it had to be exhausting for her to exert that much energy making sure I—and every kid in school—knew I was a second, or third, or fourth-class citizen.
But I knew it wasn’t going to happen. I’d tried, God knows I tried.
After dealing with the evil drama that is Jessica for about a year after the trial, trying to shrug it off and ignore it like teachers and parents always tell us to do, I’d built up the nerve to go to her house and ask her if we could talk the night before sophomore year. My version of extending the proverbial olive branch.
It hadn’t gone well.
I’d tried the practical approach first—“can’t we just get past this, after all, we were once best friends.” After that, I’d moved to pleading to at least try to be civil to each other. I’d ended up crying—the ugly kind you don’t want anyone to see. She’d laughed in my face.
“Sam, do you seriously think we can ever, ever go back to that?” Her face twisted into a familiar sneer. “It’s never happening,” she spit out.
“I don’t understand. Why does it have to be this way?” I whispered, wiping my running nose and wishing I didn’t feel so pathetic.
“Are you freaking kidding me? Your father threatened to kill my father. Your father was sleeping with my mother.”
“What? No, no he wasn’t.” I sucked in air, eyes wide. It couldn’t be true. Yeah, I’d known about my dad supposedly threatening Mr. Wainright’s life, but the idea that he was unfaithful to my mom on top of it? I couldn’t believe it. Wouldn’t believe it.
Even as I protested, little things began to shift into focus. Bits and pieces of conversations behind closed doors. Jessica’s parents divorcing about that time, and my mother’s abrupt departure after the trial, dumping me into the care of my aunt.
Jessica took a step closer. “Your father destroyed my life. He took my family. So, no, Sam, I don’t want anything to do with you.” She stared at me, her normally flawless skin mottled with rage. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d like you to get out of my house,” she said through gritted teeth.
I’d nodded, mute, and fled.
If anything, things had only gotten worse after that. A Tumblr page had appeared about a week later, dedicated to posting altered pictures of me, or memes about secrets I’d shared with Jessica through the years. Mocking me.
Even worse was the time I’d dared to hope someone could actually still like me. Chase Latkin had come up to me about a month after school started that year and asked me out. Chase was one of the golden crew, and I’d been so shocked and thrilled when he’d smiled at me, flirted with me. It was the first time any guy had really shown an interest in me. I’d been so excited, thinking it was a sign of things to come.
I’d chosen my outfit with care, wanting it to be perfect. Aunt Lor had been so happy for me, knowing how lonely I’d felt recently. She’d driven me to the mall that Friday night, and I’d paced the food court where Chase and I were supposed to meet, palms sweaty in anticipation.
About ten minutes after I arrived, Chase showed up. Hand in hand with Jessica. They walked together to stand a few feet in front of me.
“You seriously thought he wanted to go out with you?” Jessica laughed. “Oh, poor little Sam.” She’d slipped her hands around his neck and stood on tiptoes to kiss him while I’d stared, mortified, before running out of the mall and puking in the bushes next to the parking lot.
Her voice snapped me back to the present, where she once again stood just feet away, mocking me. “Still searching for your invite to rush?” She barked out a laugh. “It’s not happening. Dig all you want, sweetie, the Society has standards.”
My lips pressed together as I silently grabbed my calculus textbook and slid it into my bag.
She obviously didn’t appreciate being ignored. Stepping around me, she leaned against the locker right next to mine, eyes narrowed. “Why don’t you just take the hint? We don’t want you here. Go crawl back under your little trailer trash rock and stay there.”
A few students standing nearby snorted and giggled.
Teeth clenched, I squeezed the straps of my backpack and stared at my shoes. Don’t show her you care.
Jessica grew bolder in the midst of her audience. “Your whole family is trash. From your convict father to that crazy old aunt you live with since even your own mom decided she didn’t want you and took off.”
She leaned in closer, sucking up all my air, leaving me sick and dizzy. “You’re just like him. A nothing. Less than nothing. You could disappear tomorrow, and there isn’t one single person who would even notice.”
I slammed my locker closed and whipped around to face her, but one look at her triumphant sneer, and all the other kids smirking and whispering, stopped me cold. Because really, what could I say? How do you argue with the truth?
A part of me couldn’t understand how she could hate me so much, how she could be so callous. After all, I hadn’t done anything to her. It was my father, and he’d destroyed my family too. But thinking back, she’d always had a mean streak in her, I just hadn’t noticed so much when we were friends since it hadn’t been directed at me.
Loud laughter erupted all around me as I rushed down the hall to the exit. I walked down the school steps while thunder cracked overhead and rain poured. In seconds, my hair plastered against my face and neck, and I shivered. At least the heavy drops hid the burning tears that I could no longer hold back.
Waiting for my bus to show, I clenched my fists and swore. There had to be a way to stop her. If I didn’t do something—soon—I was going to lose it. For real. I swept a hand roughly over my eyes and stood, wet, cold, and seething inside.
The counselor my aunt forced me to go to a couple of years ago had told me to let my feelings out, that it wasn’t healthy to bottle them up. I’d stopped seeing him after four sessions, right after I’d snuck a peek at the papers he’d always scribbled on and saw “bipolar?” written below my name. What a load of crap. Being pissed off didn’t make you bipolar. And with everything that happened, I had a damn good reason to be angry. Although...I couldn’t deny that my moods flashed like quicksilver from depressed to angry anymore. But who could blame me?
I’d tried so hard to rise above it, to prove I wasn’t like my father—I was good, honorable. But I couldn’t just sit back and take it. Hell, even Gandhi said to be the change you wish to see in the world.
Out of nowhere, it hit. I half expected a lightning bolt to flash in the sky along with my epiphany. It was so perfect in its ironic simplicity that I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it sooner. I tilted my head back and laughed, allowing the rain to wash away any trace of tears.
I knew how to get back at Jessica. And the best part? She’d have absolutely no idea it was me who planned her ruin.
Revenge would be so very sweet.
Four
Last night I had a revelation. Somehow I have to make you pay. No one hurts me and goes free. I’ll play on your fears; I’ll leave you in tears. You’ll never be the same, my friend.
—Red Delicious
I’d stayed up half the night writing down my ideas. It didn’t matter what Jessica said or did next, I wouldn’t let her get under my skin.
It’d
bothered me for a long time how easily Jessica seemed to be able to walk away from our friendship. And not only walk away, but find enjoyment in tearing me down every chance she got. At first, I’d tried calling her over and over, begging her to talk to me. I’d left notes in her locker. I’d even left her a necklace with a charm that read Best Friends. I’d found it, chain broken, in my locker the following day.
I never knew for sure if Jessica’s parents had told her she wasn’t allowed to hang out with me anymore. Or maybe the pressures of starting high school and wanting to reign atop the social ladder, where I no longer fit in, made her treat me the way she did. I’d stopped caring. Well, I’d stopped showing her how much it hurt me anyway.
But now I had a plan.
Rush week offered the perfect chance to pull off the whole thing. Maybe once upon a time, I’d dreamed of receiving an invite to join the Society, but not anymore. Too many stares and snide comments completed my transformation into the little black butterfly that could.
And little did Jessica or the Society know, but I’d come up with a way to make pledge week blow up in their shiny Gold Card faces. To make them realize that despite what they thought, living in a mobile home park outside of town with my dad’s older sister didn’t make me stupid.
Because secret or not, I was pretty damn sure who reigned atop the Society’s social ladder, and she was going down…in a big way. Jessica Wainright would regret all she’d done to me and my family.
Those times she’d slept over at my house, eavesdropping on my dad’s phone conversations in his office just to report back to her dad? No real friend would do something like that. All of the horrible things she’d done to me since then—Jessica had no heart, and most likely, no soul either.
The custodians must have tried to remove the marker from my locker overnight. The picture was gone, and the lines were faded as if they’d been scrubbed with some type of industrial cleaner. Since I hadn’t been called down to the office and asked about the tag-art, I considered it safe to assume the golden crew had gotten off once again. Shocker.
The Society Page 2
