by Jane Austen
‘That is, Every body who have themselves conferred an obligation on them. But do you call it lucky, for a Girl of Genius & Feeling to be sent in quest of a Husband to Bengal, to be married there to a Man of whose Disposition she has no opportunity of judging till her Judgement is of no use to her, who may be a Tyrant, or a Fool or both for what she knows to the Contrary. Do you call that fortunate?’
‘I know nothing of all that; I only know that it was extremely good in Sir George to fit her out and pay her Passage, and that she would not have found Many who would have done the same.’
‘I wish she had not found one, said Kitty with great Eagerness, she might then have remained in England and been happy.’
‘Well, I cannot conceive the hardship of going out in a very agreable Manner with two or three sweet Girls for Companions, having a delightful voyage to Bengal or Barbadoes* or wherever it is, and being married soon after one’s arrival to a very charming Man immensely rich—. I see no hardship in all that.’
‘Your representation of the Affair, said Kitty laughing, certainly gives a very different idea of it from Mine. But supposing all this to be true, still, as it was by no means certain that she would be so fortunate either in her voyage, her Companions, or her husband; in being obliged to run the risk of their proving very different, she undoubtedly experienced a great hardships—. Besides, to a Girl of any Delicacy, the voyage in itself, since the object of it is so universally known, is a punishment that needs no other to make it very severe.’
‘I do not see that at all. She is not the first Girl who has gone to the East Indies for a Husband, and I declare I should think it very good fun if I were as poor.’
‘I beleive you would think very differently then. But at least you will not defend her Sister’s situation? Dependant even for her Cloathes on the bounty of others, who of course do not pity her, as by your own account, they consider her as very fortunate.’
‘You are extremely nice* upon my word; Lady Halifax is a delightful woman, and one of the sweetest tempered Creatures in the World; I am sure I have every reason to speak well of her, for we are under most amazing Obligations to her. She has frequently chaproned me when my Mother has been indisposed, and last Spring she lent me her own horse three times, which was a prodigious favour, for it is the most beautiful Creature that ever was seen, and I am the only person she ever lent it to. And then, continued she, the Miss Halifaxes are quite delightful—. Maria is one of the cleverest Girls that ever were known—Draws in Oils,* and plays anything by sight. She promised me one of her Drawings before I left Town, but I entirely forgot to ask her for it. I would give anything to have one.’
‘But was not it very odd, said Kitty, that the Bishop should send Charles Wynne to sea, when he must have had a much better chance of providing for him in the Church, which was the profession that Charles liked best, and the one for which his Father had intended him? The Bishop I know had often promised Mr Wynne a living, and as he never gave him one, I think it was incumbant on him to transfer the promise to his Son.’
‘I beleive you think he ought to have resigned his Bishopric to him; you seem determined to be dissatisfied with every thing that has been done for them.’
‘Well, said Kitty, this is a subject on which we shall never agree, and therefore it will be useless to continue it farther, or to mention it again—’
She then left the room, and running out of the House was soon in her dear Bower where she could indulge in peace all her affectionate Anger against the relations of the Wynnes, which was greatly heightened by finding from Camilla that they were in general considered as having acted particularly well by them—. She amused herself for some time in Abusing, and Hating them all, with great spirit, and when this tribute to her regard for the Wynnes, was paid, and the Bower began to have its usual influence over her Spirits, she contributed towards settling them, by taking out a book, for she had always one about her, and reading—. She had been so employed for nearly an hour, when Camilla came running towards her with great Eagerness, and apparently great Pleasure—. ‘Oh! my Dear Catherine, said she, half out of Breath—I have such delightful News for You—But you shall guess what it is—We are all the happiest Creatures in the World; would you beleive it, the Dudleys have sent us an invitation to a Ball at their own House—. What Charming People they are! I had no idea of there being so much sense in the whole Family—I declare I quite doat upon them—. And it happens so fortunately too, for I expect a new Cap from Town tomorrow which will just do for a Ball—Gold Net.* It will be a most angelic thing—Every Body will be longing for the pattern—’. The expectation of a Ball was indeed very agreable intelligence to Kitty, who fond of Dancing and seldom able to enjoy it, had reason to feel even greater pleasure in it than her Freind; for to her, it was now no novelty—. Camilla’s delight however was by no means inferior to Kitty’s, and she rather expressed the most of the two. The Cap came and every other preparation was soon completed; while these were in agitation the Days passed gaily away, but when Directions were no longer necessary, Taste could no longer be displayed, and Difficulties no longer overcome, the short period that intervened before the day of the Ball hung heavily on their hands, and every hour was too long. The very few Times that Kitty had ever enjoyed the Amusement of Dancing was an excuse for her impatience, and an apology for the Idleness it occasioned to a Mind naturally very Active; but her Freind without such a plea was infinitely worse than herself. She could do nothing but wander from the house to the Garden, and from the Garden to the avenue, wondering when Thursday would come, which she might easily have ascertained, and counting the hours as they passed which served only to lengthen them.—. They retired to their rooms in high Spirits on Wednesday night, but Kitty awoke the next Morning with a violent Toothake. It was in vain that she endeavoured at first to deceive herself; her feelings were witnesses too acute of it’s reality; with as little success did she try to sleep it off, for the pain she suffered prevented her closing her Eyes—. She then summoned her Maid and with the Assistance of the Housekeeper, every remedy that the receipt book* or the head of the latter contained, was tried, but ineffectually; for though for a short time releived by them, the pain still returned. She was now obliged to give up the endeavour, and to reconcile herself not only to the pain of a Toothake, but to the loss of a Ball; and though she had with so much eagerness looked forward to the day of its arrival, had received such pleasure in the necessary preparations, and promised herself so much delight in it, Yet she was not so totally void of philosophy as many Girls of her age, might have been in her situation. She considered that there were Misfortunes of a much greater magnitude than the loss of a Ball, experienced every day by somepart of Mortality,* and that the time might come when She would herself look back with Wonder and perhaps with Envy on her having known no greater vexation. By such reflections as these, she soon reasoned herself into as much Resignation & Patience as the pain she suffered, would allow of, which after all was the greatest Misfortune of the two, and told the Sad Story when she entered the Breakfast room, with tolerable Composure. Mrs Peterson more greived for her toothake than her Disappointment, as she feared that it would not be possible to prevent her Dancing with a Man if she went, was eager to try everything that had already been applied to alleviate the pain, while at the same time She declared it was impossible for her to leave the House. Miss Stanley who joined to her concern for her Freind, felt a mixture of Dread lest her Mother’s proposal that they should all remain at home, might be accepted, was very violent in her sorrow on the occasion, and though her apprehensions on the subject were soon quieted by Kitty’s protesting that sooner than allow any one to stay with her, she would herself go, she continued to lament it with such unceasing vehemence as at last drove Kitty to her own room. Her Fears for herself being now entirely dissipated left her more than ever at leisure to pity and persecute her Freind who tho’ safe when in her own room, was frequently removing from it to some other in hopes of being more free from pai
n, and then had no opportunity of escaping her—.
‘To be sure, there never was anything so shocking, said Camilla; To come on such a day too! For one would not have minded it you know had it been at any other time. But it always is so. I never was at a Ball in my Life, but what something happened to prevent somebody from going! I wish there were no such things as Teeth in the World; they are nothing but plagues to one, and I dare say that People might easily invent something to eat with instead of them; Poor Thing! what pain you are in! I declare it is quite Shocking to look at you. But you won’t have it out, will you? For Heaven’s sake don’t; for there is nothing I dread so much. I declare I had rather undergo the greatest Tortures in the World than have a tooth drawn.* Well! how patiently you do bear it! how can you be so quiet? Lord, if I were in your place I should make such a fuss, there would be no bearing me. I should torment you to Death.’
‘So you do, as it is.’ thought Kitty.
‘For my own part, Catherine said Mrs Peterson I have not a doubt but that you caught this toothake by sitting so much in that Arbour, for it is always damp. I know it has ruined your Constitution entirely; and indeed I do not beleive it has been of much service to mine; I sate down in it last May to rest myself, and I have never been quite well since—. I shall order John to pull it all down I assure you.’
‘I know you will not do that Ma’am, said Kitty, as you must be convinced how unhappy it would make me.’
‘You talk very ridiculously Child; it is all whim & Nonsense. Why cannot you fancy this room an Arbour?’
‘Had this room been built by Cecilia & Mary, I should have valued it equally Ma’am, for it is not merely the name of an Arbour, which charms me.’
‘Why indeed Mrs Peterson, said Mrs Stanley, I must think that Catherine’s affection for her Bower is the effect of a Sensibility that does her Credit. I love to see a Freindship between young Ladies and always consider it as a sure mark of their being disposed to like one another. I have from Camilla’s infancy taught her to think the same, and have taken great pains to introduce her to young people of her own age who were likely to be worthy of her regard. There is something mighty pretty I think in young Ladies corresponding with each other, and nothing forms the taste more than sensible & Elegant Letters—. Lady Halifax thinks just like me—. Camilla corresponds with her Daughters, and I beleive I may venture to say that they are none of them the worse for it.’
These ideas were too modern to suit Mrs Peterson who considered a correspondence between Girls as productive of no good, and as the frequent origin of imprudence & Error by the effect of pernicious advice and bad Example. She could not therefore refrain from saying that for her part, she had lived fifty Years in the world without having ever had a correspondent, and did not find herself at all the less respectable for it—. Mrs Stanley could say nothing in answer to this, but her Daughter who was less governed by Propriety, said in her thoughtless way, ‘But who knows what you might have been Ma’am, if you had had a Correspondent; perhaps it would have made you quite a different Creature. I declare I would not be without those I have for all the World. It is the greatest delight of my Life, and you cannot think how much their Letters have formed my taste as Mama says, for I hear from them generally every week.’
‘You received a Letter from Augusta to day, did not you my Love? said her Mother—. She writes remarkably well I know.’
‘Oh! Yes Ma’am, the most delightful Letter you ever heard of. She sends me a long account of the new Pierrot* Lady Susan has given her, and it is so beautiful that I am quite dieing with envy for it.’
‘Well, I am prodigiously happy to hear such pleasing news of my young freind; I have a high regard for Augusta, and most sincerely partake in the general Joy on the occasion. But does she say nothing else? it seemed to be a long Letter—Are they to be at Scarborough?’
‘Oh! Lord, she never once mentions it, now I recollect it; and I entirely forgot to ask her when I wrote last. She says nothing indeed except about the Pierrot.’
‘She must write well thought Kitty, to make a long Letter upon a Jacket and petticoat.’* She then left the room tired of listening to a conversation which tho’ it might have diverted her had she been well, served only to fatigue and depress her, while in pain. Happy was it for her, when the hour of dressing came, for Camilla satisfied with being surrounded by her Mother and half the Maids in the House did not want her assistance, and was too agreably employed to want her Society. She remained therefore alone in the parlour, till joined by Mr Stanley & her Aunt, who however after a few enquiries, allowed her to continue undisturbed and began their usual conversation on Politics. This was a subject on which they could never agree, for Mr Stanley who considered himself as perfectly qualified by his Seat in the House, to decide on it without hesitation, resolutely maintained that the Kingdom had not for ages been in so flourishing & prosperous a state,* and Mrs Peterson with equal warmth, tho’ perhaps less argument, as vehemently asserted that the whole Nation would speedily be ruined, and every thing as she expressed herself be at sixes & sevens.* It was not however unamusing to Kitty to listen to the Dispute, especially as she began then to be more free from pain, and without taking any share in it herself, she found it very entertaining to observe the eagerness with which they both defended their opinions, and could not help thinking that Mr Stanley would not feel more disappointed if her Aunt’s expectations were fulfilled, than her Aunt would be mortified by their failure. After waiting a considerable time Mrs Stanley & her daughter appeared, and Camilla in high Spirits, & perfect good humour with her own looks, was more violent than ever in her lamentations over her Freind as she practised her scotch Steps* about the room—. At length they departed, & Kitty better able to amuse herself than she had been the whole Day before, wrote a long account of her Misfortunes to Mary Wynne. When her Letter was concluded she had an opportunity of witnessing the truth of that assertion which says that Sorrows are lightened by Communication, for her toothake was then so much releived that she began to entertain an idea of following her Freinds to Mr Dudley’s. They had been gone but half an hour, and as every thing relative to her Dress was in complete readiness, She considered that in an hour & a half since there was so little a way to go, She might be there—. They were gone in Mr Stanley’s Carriage and therefore She might follow in her Aunt’s. As the plan seemed so very easy to be executed, and promising so much pleasure, it was after a few Minutes deliberation finally adopted, and running up stairs, She rang in great haste for her Maid. The Bustle & Hurry which then ensued for nearly an hour was at last happily concluded by her finding herself very well-dressed and in high Beauty. Nanny* was then dispatched in the same haste to order the Carriage, while her Mistress was putting on her gloves, arranging the folds of her dress, and providing herself with Lavender water.* In a few Minutes she heard the Carriage drive up to the Door, and tho’ at first surprised at the expedition with which it had been got ready, she concluded after a little reflection that the Men had received some hint of her intentions beforehand, and was hastening out of the room, when Nanny came running into it in the greatest hurry and agitation, exclaiming ‘Lord Ma’am! Here’s a Gentleman in a Chaise and four* come, and I cannot for my Life conceive who it is! I happened to be crossing the hall when the Carriage drove up, and I knew nobody would be in the way to let him in but Tom, and he looks so awkward you know Ma’am, now his hair is just done up,* that I was not willing the gentleman should see him, and so I went to the door myself. And he is one of the handsomest young Men you would wish to see; I was almost ashamed of being seen because you know Ma’am I am all over powder, but however he is vastly handsome and did not seem to mind it at all.—And he asked me whether the Family were at home; and so I said every body was gone out but you Ma’am, for I would not deny you because I was sure you would like to see him. And then he asked me whether Mr and Mrs Stanley were not here, and so I said Yes, and then—’
‘Good Heavens! said Kitty, what can all this mean! And who c
an it possibly be! Did you never see him before? And Did not he tell you his Name?’
‘No Ma’am, he never said anything about it—So then I asked him to walk into the parlour, and he was prodigious agreable, and—’
‘Whoever he is, said her Mistress, he has made a great impression upon you Nanny—But where did he come from? and what does he want here?’
‘Oh! Ma’am, I was going to tell you, that I fancy his business is with you; for he asked me whether you were at leisure to see anybody, and desired I would give his Compliments to you, & say he should be very happy to wait on you—However I thought he had better not come up into your Dressing room, especially as everything is in such a litter, so I told him if he would be so obliging as to stay in the parlour, I would run up stairs and tell you he was come, and I dared to say that you would wait upon him. Lord Ma’am, I’d lay anything that he is come to ask you to dance with him tonight, & has got his Chaise ready to take you to Mr Dudley’s.’
Kitty could not help laughing at this idea, & only wished it might be true, as it was very likely that she would be too late for any other partner—‘But what in the name of wonder, can he have to say to me? Perhaps he is come to rob the house—. he comes in stile at least; and it will be some consolation for our losses to be robbed by a Gentleman in a chaise & 4—. What Livery* has his Servants?’
‘Why that is the most wonderful thing about him Ma’am, for he has not a single servant with him, and came with hack horses;* But he is as handsome as a Prince for all that, and has quite the look of one—. Do dear Ma’am, go down, for I am sure you will be delighted with him—’
‘Well, I beleive I must go; but it is very odd! What can he have to say to me.’ Then giving one look at herself in the Glass, she walked with great impatience, tho’ trembling all the while from not knowing what to expect, down Stairs, and after pausing a moment at the door to gather Courage for opening it, she resolutely entered the room.
