by Blair Holden
I roll my eyes at his cockiness but a big part of me is relieved that we’ve moved on to lighter, safer topics. The look on his face mere minutes ago seems to be permanently imprinted on my brain and it’s scared the wits out of me. Too soon, it is too soon for me to even imagine those kinds of feelings. I must be getting delusional.
I start walking backward, away from him and in the direction of his house. “Make sure you don’t trip on your giant ego on the way, Cassandra and the sheriff might want you home in one piece.”
He chuckles and starts walking toward me. It’s not long before we’re holding hands, fingers interlinked and grinning goofily at each other. I admit, on the plane back home I had been worried. It’s common for people to be able to talk comfortably over emails, texts, and phone calls. Being face-to-face makes things awkward and I was half expecting for that to happen between us but thank God it didn’t. We catch up on our weeks apart. They’d brought Nana Stone back home and she’d been chastised and grounded by her son. Cole made me laugh heartily when he described his and Nana’s combined efforts to sneak out and go to Rusty’s. Sheriff Stone caught them while they’d been trying to unlock the front door with a bobby pin.
“I tried to go and see Beth like you asked but her mom said she was away,” he tells me and my forehead creases with worry. In the few times we’d managed to talk in the last couple of days, Beth had been distant. She always said she was busy with work and too tired when she got home. We didn’t discuss the events of the day she’d shown up at my house and I didn’t push it. She’s hiding something, that I’m sure of, but what could it be and why couldn’t she just tell me?
“Was Marie sober? I can’t even imagine her ever stopping to think twice about what she’s putting Beth through,” I say bitterly, concentrating on the cracks in the pavement. Cole squeezes my hand tightly, realizing how my mood’s dropped in an instant. Marie’s name always leaves a bitter aftertaste in my mouth and I feel bad for bringing her up now.
“I checked every day, you know. The house was pretty quiet and the driveway empty all week. I saw Beth around town but she was working and it seemed like she wanted to . . .”
“Avoid you?” I complete his sentence.
“You too, huh?” he asks and when I nod he pulls me close and tucks my head beneath his chin. I take a few calming breaths and let my head stay where it is. Cole has a calming presence when I let him take the role. Most of the time I’m too aware of him to allow myself to relax but this is nice, this is different.
“At least Megan and Alex are doing well. The guy’s whipped,” Cole declares and I smile. They’re so good for each other. Opposites in each and every way but when they’re together they literally are two halves of a whole.
“She feels the same way, I know she does.”
“Young love, what a freaking cliché.” He snorts and I elbow him, causing him to grunt in pain.
“Don’t make fun of them and don’t you dare say anything to Alex.”
He rubs the spot where I’ve hit him. “Yes, ma’am.” Then he pulls me back to my old position, which just warms me all over.
We walk in silence for the short five-minute trip until we come to a halt outside his house, where extremely conveniently Jay and Nicole are fighting. Ugly, screaming, pushing and shoving kind of fighting.
“Shit,” Cole curses next to me and I mentally agree this does not look pretty.
Nicole is in one of her moods, the kind where she uses her hands to illustrate just how angry she is. Right now she’s hitting Jay on the chest repeatedly to get her point across. The poor guy seems clueless as to what to do but deflect her vicious attacks. Over the years I’ve seen Nicole get into fights with a lot of the boys she’s dated and she’s merciless with them. When she decides to pick a fight, even when they’ve done nothing wrong, she will go to extreme lengths to get the job done.
The irony of the situation doesn’t fail to hit me. I’ve always wanted to see the perfect couple finally realize that they’re not so perfect for each other. But now I don’t even care. If anything I feel a little sorry for Jay for what he’s going through. If anyone can tell how cruel Nicole can be, it’s me.
“Come on, we can get in through the back.” Cole grabs my hand and starts pulling me toward the yard. Clueless to our presence, Nicole and Jay keep shouting at each other. I strain my ears to catch a few explanatory words but all I can hear is Nicole swearing like a sailor and Jay asking her to calm down.
We try sneaking around them, walking stealthily like it’s Mission: Impossible out here but as soon as we cross the small wooden door that opens up to the backyard I hear my name being called. I suggest Tom Cruise be kept for his role.
“Keep walking, you don’t need to hear this.” Cole places his hand at the small of my back, hunching over me protectively but I want to know what she has to say to me and why she’s bringing me up right now. The confrontation doesn’t seem so daunting now for some reason.
“No, it’s okay. I can handle her now.” I smile but his face is grim. There’s something he’s not telling me and it’s scaring me.
Before I can ask him to tell me what it is that’s exactly going on, Nicole’s all up in my face with Jay trying to keep her at bay. She looks mad, her eyes frenzied, and I’m not completely sure if she’s sober right now.
She zeroes in on Cole’s hand, which is gripping mine tightly, and her nostrils flare. I haven’t seen her like this, ever—not even when she was her brutal best to me. The kind of loathing and hatred for me that I see in her eyes right now takes me aback.
“Ask your girlfriend to back off, Jay,” Cole snarls when Nicole takes a step toward us.
“Nic, come on. You don’t want to do this right now.” Jay tries grabbing her shoulder but she violently shrugs him off.
“Look at you two, fawning over the fat cow.” Her cackle is bitter, her words intended to cut me deep but I don’t even care anymore. I’m done trying to be good enough for her, done trying to seek her acceptance and sure as hell done wishing our friendship had survived.
“Nicole,” Cole warns. The vein in his neck is pulsating, his free hand balled into a fist.
“Don’t let her get to you, her words don’t matter anymore,” I say to him. For her I put on the blankest and coolest expression I can muster and keep my voice remarkably monotonous.
“What’s your problem Nicole? What the hell do you want from me?”
Her eyes narrow into slits, hands resting on her hips, her stance appearing as if she’s ready to pounce on me. “You little bitch, you’re my problem. Why the fuck don’t you just get out of my life? Tagging along with my boyfriend’s brother, charming his mom with your little innocent act, and hijacking my crown makes you think you can have my life? Guess what, Tessa, you’re nothing but a worthless little stalker.”
She might as well have slapped me across the face because those words hurt. I blink, once, then again, and then repeatedly. Ten years of friendship and this is what I mean to her? Did she ever consider me a friend, ever?
“Enough!” Cole’s voice booms, shattering the silence. I focus on breathing, trying to form an answer. I have no idea what to do when you’re verbally attacked like that. In movies, the heroine always has a comeback. She has all these powerful dialogues planned and she puts the Queen Bee into place, but that doesn’t happen in real life. I’m quite literally speechless.
“Nicole!” It’s Jay this time. His eyes are practically bulging out of his skill and his jaw’s about to hit the floor. Now it becomes obvious that he’s never seen his girlfriend in all her fire-spitting glory. How can someone be this clueless?
“You both are pathetic. Look at her; she’s a blubbering mess, for Christ’s sake. We’ll all be better off without her and her bullshit in our lives.”
Don’t hit her, Tessa, don’t do it. Don’t use that right hook Travis taught you, she is not worth it.
“I’ve been told to never hit a woman but Jay, if you don’t get her out of my face in two
seconds, I swear I’m not even going to think twice about it.”
Cole’s voice has been reduced to a steely, grim undertone and this is more dangerous than when he’s shouting. It sends shivers up my spine and even causes Nicole to go pale. Jay winces and begins dragging her away knowing that Cole’s limits are being tested.
“When we were in the ninth grade, you offered to give our chemistry teacher a blow job if he gave you an A. You wanted to go to dance camp but you needed to pass your classes first.” She gapes at me, her face whitens considerably more.
“You lost your virginity to a college guy when we were sixteen. You told your parents you were coming to my house for a sleepover but you snuck into a party in his dorm instead. He kicked you out the next morning and you didn’t leave your house for a week afterward.”
Jay grows even more flabbergasted than he already is so I assume he too didn’t know about the little incident. Cole’s just staring at me, I can feel his eyes watching as I do what I’ve wanted to for ages.
“During the summer before freshman year you told me you were in love with Cole.” I glance at him as he winces but I feel particularly nasty right now. “You went to his house and told him that you wanted to sleep with him but he wasn’t interested. You cried for days.”
“During Jared’s party, you basically had Hank molest me. Did you tell your boyfriend that?” She can’t even look me in the eye, there’s no need for a confession.
“The point is, Nicole, that I know a lot about you. I haven’t even scratched the surface on the things you’ve done, the things you don’t want other people to know. I don’t want your life because I know how low you’ve sunk.”
“You little whore.” She lunges for me but Cole blocks her path, gripping her shoulders and shoving her away.
“Leave now and don’t come near her again if you know what’s good for you.”
She looks expectantly at Jay like she wants him to defend her but he looks too shell-shocked to move. He’s just standing there, his face devoid of color, his figure trembling and at that moment I feel horrible.
He didn’t need to know these things, at least not like this. But I can’t take back my words and just like that it’s like I’m trapped in a never-ending episode of General Hospital.
Finally realizing that no one’s coming to her defense, Nicole calls me a few more choice names before stomping away and getting in her car. The tires screech as she speeds away, leaving us all behind totally and utterly silent.
***
I don’t know how we ended up here but it’s happening. I’m lying on Cole’s bed, trying to pull his shirt off and he’s kissing my neck. He says he won’t kiss me on the lips, that he’s waiting for a special moment but this is good enough for now.
After Nicole left, he dragged me inside and stomped his way to his bedroom. There I had to listen to him rant about how big of a . . . let’s just say he used a very bad word that Nicole was and that I’d done the right thing. I felt guilty as anything and he’d only been trying to make me feel better.
In the process of feeling better, he’d knelt before me as I sat at the foot of his bed. He cupped my cheek, rubbing his thumb over my lower lip, which just leaves me senseless.
“None of the things she said were true. That girl is all kinds of messed up, Tessie, you know that, don’t you?”
“I used to think her words had some truth to them. I mean we’d been best friends for so long that I thought she knew me better than anyone else but I couldn’t have been more wrong. She’s not the person I thought she was.”
“When did my shortcake get all Chinese-grandma wise on me?” he mused and I chuckled.
“It’s just something you have to learn when your patience gets tested every second by an egomaniac.”
Somehow the conversation led to him tickling me, somehow it led to me being sprawled on his bed with him hovering on top. Then when I was panting like crazy, writhing beneath him, trying to get revenge, I slipped my hands beneath his shirt and everything shifted. Desire swept us both up along with a strong sense of awareness. Cole gasped as my fingers traveled over his tight abdominal muscles, giving me incentive to continue. I’d never felt more brave or exhilarated. Something in him snapped too, all his restraint and control getting lost on the way. That’s how we ended up where we are right now. He’s kissing down my neck, driving me absolutely crazy. His hands are everywhere and I make sounds I don’t even know I could make until now.
“Your parents . . .” I gasp as his tongue gently goes over the areas his lips have just been all over.
“It’ll still take them half an hour to get home, we have plenty of time,” he mumbles distractedly, going back to what he’s doing so skillfully.
This is amazing. Why haven’t we done this before? His lips feel so good. If all I could do for the rest of my life is make out with Cole, I’d do it. He isn’t even kissing me but everything feels amazing.
“Hey guys . . .”
The doorknob turns and we still. My breathing is heavy, I’m panting like crazy, and Cole has crazy hair because I’ve been running my fingers through it. His shirt is halfway up his torso and he’s situated between my knees. This is the sight that greets Jay.
That is probably why he curses rather loudly, slams the door behind him, and runs like a vegetarian vampire in a blood bank.
Chapter Twenty: My Inexperience Is as Obvious as The Scarlet Letter
“No way.”
“Come on, Tessie, you just need to try once. That’s all I’m asking.”
“It’s too soon, I can’t do it.” My head hangs in defeat and I silently curse myself. Why do I have to be such a coward? It’s not like he’s asking me to do something completely unheard of. People do it all the time; it’s a staple when you’re a teenager.
“You don’t have to be scared. I’ll help you through it and I’ll make sure you have fun,” he promises, his voice ringing with sincerity. I am tempted now, the idea sounds promising and as time goes on it becomes less and less daunting but there’s still a lot of self-doubt and absolute terror stopping me from actually agreeing. I suck at being an almost-girlfriend, really I do.
“I’m sure it’ll be fun for you, me I’m not so sure about.”
He sighs, knowing I’m trying to pick a fight. Darn his perception, why can he not be as aloof as the rest of the male population?
“Tessie, I wouldn’t force you to do this unless I thought it would help us.”
“We don’t need help, we’re fine just the way we are and definitely don’t need to do it.”
“Everyone does it. It’s not a big deal and you don’t need to psych yourself out over it. Like I said before, I’ll make sure you’re as comfortable as possible.”
“But . . .”
This is the point where Alex pokes his head in between the two of us. I didn’t even realize that he’d moved from his seat next to Megan at the lunch table. So when he says what he does next, I realize that Cole and I haven’t really been paying attention to the world around us. Can you blame us though? We were discussing a very taxing topic.
“You guys do realize what your entire conversation sounded like, right?”
Beth chokes on her soda and Megan tries hard to stifle her laughter. It’s no use, by the time I’ve caught up, everyone’s given up on pretending that I hadn’t just royally embarrassed myself. My cheeks burn as I glare at Cole, who as usual finds amusement in my humiliation. He nudges my shoulder with his once everyone has calmed down.
“Just so you know, I enjoyed that conversation very much.”
Now it’s not embarrassment that causes me to flush.
The possibility of something like that happening between us seems ludicrous when we haven’t even kissed each other yet. We’ve been “together” for nearly three weeks now, what is he waiting for? Doesn’t he want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss him?
“So what’s the verdict then? Are we going or not?” Alex asks and I let out a noncommittal response.
>
“We have to go!” Megan sides with her boyfriend—traitor. She notices me casting an extremely evil look in her direction and begins defending herself.
“Think about it, Tessa. All everyone can talk about is you two. If you guys go to the party together and make an appearance as a couple, people will stop speculating. Weren’t you saying you were sick of all that attention?”
The last part is unfortunately true. Returning to school after the break has been torturous to say the least. The rumor mill was rampant with stories about me and Cole. It didn’t matter that most of them were true, I still felt sort of violated and generally creeped out. On top of everything, Nicole had been dethroned in the cruelest of ways. After losing her crown and boyfriend all in the span of weeks, she’d been snubbed to the bottom of the pyramid.
Our roles are now reversed and I couldn’t be more miserable about it. Girls who’d never once glanced in my direction seem more than eager to be my best friend. People who’d ridiculed me and stood alongside Nicole in her mission to make my life a living hell now treat me like I’m the long-lost member of the Brangelina clan. Cole’s clearly the biggest reason for the change. From the way we’ve been acting the entire week it’s become clear that there’s something going on. Whether it’s the hand holding or him carrying my books or the not-so-hidden forehead kisses that I’m so in love with—everything’s basically screaming that we’re together. Would going to a party finally make people see what’s been right in front of their eyes all along? If the answer’s yes and if they’ll stop following me everywhere then maybe this might not be so bad.
“Are you sure it’ll work?” My experience with parties hasn’t been so great. I’ve been to one during my time at high school and look how that turned out. Cole places his hand on my leg in acknowledgment of my fears. He’s the only one at the table who knows exactly what happened. I can practically feel the anger rolling off him. If Hank hadn’t already transferred to a school across town, I’d fear for his life. Or maybe not.
“Yes. Once everyone knows you’re together, they’ll let you be. You two are like the shiny new toy they’re infatuated with. If you act like it’s nothing special then maybe they will too.”
