by Blair Holden
“There you are, Tessie, I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” I say as I ruffle her hair. She immediately resists, little fighter that she is, and elbows me before making an attempt to fix her hair. I can’t help but laugh at the difference between how she acts in front of Jay, all solemn and heartbroken, and the spitfire she becomes in front of me.
“Ah shortcake, always so affectionate.”
I return my arm to around her shoulder as she attempts to attack me by stomping on my foot.
“Let go of me, you oaf! In the name of your pea-sized balls I say unhand me!”
The downright insulting and completely untrue statement is followed by a painful stomp on my foot that has much more power to it, enough to make me wince and give Tessa the opportunity to slip away.
“My balls are not pea-sized!” I protest.
“Whatever makes you sleep at night.” She glares at me and backs away a little as if expecting me to jump her; the corner of my mouth twitches at how hilarious she is. But the moment is ruined by Jay; of course it is.
He clears his throat and I’m surprised by just how angry he looks as his eyes look from Tessa to me. I’m not surprised by the reaction, he’s always been a jealous prick but I’m angry because the asshole has no reason to react the way that he is. He shouldn’t get to think he has any kind of ownership over Tessa and she shouldn’t be worried about what he thinks or feels.
But I know that she is and it kills me.
“Don’t you have a class, brother?” The sooner he leaves, the faster I can work on making sure Tessa forgets that he even exists and that’s a little difficult to do if he’s constantly sniffing around her like a lovesick puppy.
“I do, actually Tessa and I have the same one so I was hoping we could walk together.”
Yeah, not in your wild, wild, dreams, jackass.
“No can do, she’s coming with me.”
“I am?”
“She is?”
You’re damn right she is. I don’t trust him around her now, not when I know he’s useless when it comes to protecting her from whatever hell Nicole plans on unleashing on her.
“I know you didn’t get to do your homework last night because of me so I got us out of class by offering to do some stupid volunteer work in the AV room.”
“You two were together last night?” He has the nerve to sound wounded, but it’s a ploy of his. He wants Tessa to feel sorry for him, for her to pick him over me and validate his belief that he’s still got her wrapped around his finger but things need to change, starting now.
“We were and now we really need to go.” I don’t give Tessa a chance to respond, I simply steer her toward the AV room and try to ignore the jealousy when she still turns and takes one last lingering look toward Jay. I can’t stop myself from telling her, “He’s not worth it.” She’s quiet and pensive, as if still reeling from the hurt of seeing Jay. I want to tell her that Jay isn’t worth an ounce of her feelings and maybe, just maybe if she let go of her childhood crush, she’d see him for what he really is. But that’d be too much for now. I can’t be too honest, too vulnerable because it’d be easy for her to reject me. So I go with my signature immaturity that she’s so found of.
“Trust you to fall for the uglier brother. I can bet he has a smaller pe—”
On cue, I have feisty Tessie back and she slaps a hand over my mouth.
“Stop talking or I will throw up on those three-hundred-dollar high-tops of yours.”
Yeah, this girl knows me so well.
Chapter Eleven: Cole’s POV
I think I’ve made some headway into making Tessa look at me like I’m a person and not a recurring nightmare. In the month or so that I’ve been here, I’ve done my fair share of stupid things, things that were intended to do good but that just went horribly wrong. All of it was done to win Tessa over in some way, to make her see me, for her to realize that the feelings I have for her are not the kind she thinks. But in doing so and in trying to shake her life up a little, I’ve also brought her the kind of pain that she’d been protecting herself from. Thinking about taking her to that party and it all going wrong in the worst possible way still keeps me up at night. I took out a lot of my anger on Hank, I don’t think the man will be capable of a fully functioning body for the rest of his adult life but there’s nothing that can get rid of the guilt, no matter what Tessa says. I shouldn’t have forced her to go to a party she never wanted to go to in the first place. The more I interfere in her life, the more I end up ruining it all for her. But something makes me try harder every time not to screw up. I want to be there for her whenever she needs me and I may mess things up on the way but I want to be someone she can lean on.
I’ve tried telling her that she can’t let Nicole get away with what she’s done to her but I’m aware that Tessa’s a little wary of my plans and I don’t blame her, especially not after everything that’s happened. But I can’t help but insert myself in her life any way that I can, given that she’s been trying so hard to keep her distance. Case in point, the tutoring thing.
I don’t need to be tutored, not really. School has always been easy for me and I don’t take that for granted because if I had had bad grades with the kind of shit I’ve pulled in the past, military school wouldn’t even have been an option, I’m sure my dad would’ve killed me first.
But he doesn’t need to know about the little tests I’m failing here and there, just to make sure the administration thinks I need a tutor. I’ll bounce back and make up for the bad grades but getting that extra time with Tessa is necessary. Though I’m not sure how I’ll manage to do that when I’m six feet under the ground after she’s successfully managed to kill me.
I’m watching her argue with our calculus teacher, Mr. Goodwin, trying to talk her way out of tutoring me and I stifle a laugh because the man’s holding his ground. Between him and the principal, they really want me to do well and I’m sure I won’t even need to intervene to get Tessa on our side.
“Megan is so much smarter than I am, sir, I’m sure she’ll be able to do a better job.”
She sounds pretty desperate and I almost feel bad for pushing this on her but then I remember just how vicious Nicole and her cronies can get and for some inexplicable reason, I know that right now it’s my responsibility to protect Tessa from them. I’ll wait until she’s ready to stand up for herself but until then I’m more than okay with being a thorn in her side.
“You know you guys should stop talking about me like I’m not here,” I remind her, not because I think that’ll make her spare my feelings but because the sooner we cement this agreement, the less the chances are of Tessa sweet-talking the man into letting her off the hook. God knows she can make me do just about anything if she asks nicely.
“Ah, Mr. Stone, just the man I was looking for. As you’ve heard, Ms. O’Connell will now be tutoring you in most of your subjects and I’m sure together you two will manage to make the situation much better.”
Oh yes we will. Then again, if the murderous look Tessa throws my way is any indication of how well we’ll work together, it’s a good thing I don’t actually need her help with my grades. Were it up to her, I know my GPA would drop faster than your dignity when you accidentally get sucked into binge-watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Oh believe me, it happens.
“Oh and Ms. O’Connell, if Cole here gets passing grades on his midterm report card, I’ll write that recommendation that you’ve been asking me for.”
I did not ask him to say that, genius as it is; I don’t like that he’s literally manipulating Tessa into helping me. He’s overpowering her, putting her in a position that makes her weak and I’m not into that. Maybe Goodwin and I need to have some words. I get out of my seat and walk to the door, leaning against the doorframe to watch Tessa seal the deal.
“Okay, fine. I’ll do it, I’ll tutor him.”
Mental fist bump even though she’s still staring daggers at me.
“Then we have a deal, you ha
ve until the end of the semester to make sure that he’s improved and that his grades are consistent.”
She tries to smile at him, but it comes out as a barely concealed teeth-baring snarl, “Don’t worry, Mr. Goodwin, I’ve got this.”
Heaven help us both.
***
There’s something to be said for playground tactics when it comes to impressing girls. Sometimes they work, mostly they don’t. You can’t pull their hair and treat them like crap and not expect them to run to the good guy, you know the one who plays baseball and gives you flowers. Not the dumb football jock who accidentally lands you in the emergency room one time too many.
But some playground tactics do have merit.
So I continue poking Tessa in the shoulder and she continues ignoring it. It’s like we’re right back to kindergarten.
“Hey, shortcake.” In the cafeteria, she concentrates on her food in an attempt to forget the fact that I exist. Well at least she’s eating and now that that’s out in the open between us, I’m happy to see that she’s eating a lot more. The silent treatment continues for the length of our lunch period and I’m only amused by it. I can’t help it, she’s cute when she’s angry.
“Shortcake, come on, why are you mad?” I shouldn’t be goading her, I really shouldn’t be; it’s what makes us, us.
She continues to ignore me, focusing on every other person sitting at our table. She’ll come around soon, I think.
I hope.
But as I let her continue her attempt at matchmaking Megan and Alex, I also think about how to make up for this. I know that I sprang the tutoring thing on her and that maybe it’s not quite something she has time for, or frankly is interested in. Mr. Goodwin took it a little too far when he tried bribing her with the recommendation letter for Brown but even as the thought crosses my mind, I know that I’m going to have to push, to bend the rules a little and cross a few lines to get her to open up to me.
I’m finally able to get her alone as the bell rings and everyone gets up to leave for class. Since the group at her table knows that I’d like to talk to Tessa with some privacy they are quick to leave and she stares after them like a deer caught in the headlights. I can almost see the pulse thrumming in the base of her neck. Is she nervous to be around me? The kind of emotions I want her to feel toward me are the furthest thing you can think from fear or hatred. And I think, it’s time to remind her of that.
“So you’re not going to talk to me?” I face her. Around us, even as people leave for class, their eyes are on us and I couldn’t care less. She tries to walk past me but I won’t let her go this easily. She started the whole silent treatment thing and it’s time to have a little fun with it.
I place a finger under her chin, forcing her to look right into my eyes. I know it does something to her, I feel the tremble of her skin and it thrills me to know that I have that effect on her. Bastard that I am, I decide to take advantage of her temporary state of dazed and confused.
“You’re going to just stand there and let me do this?”
My own heart pounding viciously, I try to hide just how much my hand is shaking as I reach out and place it at her waist. She doesn’t make a sound as my thumb glides over the silky soft skin of her stomach. The hitch of her breath makes the entire world disappear and for the life of me I can’t figure out how we ended up here, with me touching her and her not shoving me away.
I wait for her to stop me as I caress her skin but even as she starts to tremble in my arms, her mouth remains sealed shut and I dare to push it even further. I know desire when I see it in her eyes because if I even for a second felt her be afraid or disgusted with my touch, I’d never go near her.
Not until she asked me to.
“If I do will you tell me to stop?” I lean in closer and my breath fans her ear. And right there, in the emptying cafeteria, with people still lingering to watch us, I feel as though I lay my claim on her a little. Taking her earlobe between my teeth, I bite it gently and she gasps, which does all kinds of wonderful things to my body. Continuing to caress the skin of her waist, with my lips dangerously close to hers, I make sure to never break eye contact.
“Speak up, Tessie, tell me what you want.”
She doesn’t say a word but her body language speaks volumes.
“You should really ask me to end this.”
But I hope and pray to every single God out there that she doesn’t.
I’m not sure if this is how I want our first kiss to be, with Tessa barely uttering a word and with an audience that does not seem intent on leaving. But I can’t help myself and as I close in, my lips hovering over hers, so temptingly close to kissing her for the very first time I realize that I don’t have much self-control left. My hands creep up her top, something that just illustrates that I’ve lost my mind because I’m feeling her up in the middle of the day, at school.
She needs to be the one who stops this.
But she doesn’t and I’m almost certain that this will be it, the moment that changes everything.
“Cole!”
I don’t back off immediately because I know that’s not Tessa’s voice but whoever it is, the moment’s interrupted and it’s like having a bucket of ice-cold water thrown over me. What the hell am I doing? I thought the plan was to take things slowly and ease Tessa into knowing my feelings for her. If I’d kissed her right now, chances are that she’d freak out and we’d be over before we even started.
So as I turn to face the person who might’ve just saved me from making a colossal mistake, I find it kind of ironic when it’s actually Nicole Bishop, standing there looking so hurt and wounded, as though I’d kicked her puppy and then some. My first instinct is to make sure she doesn’t even get to look at Tessa, memories of what she’s done to her are too fresh and I don’t even want Nicole breathing the same air as Shortcake. Just the way she’s looking toward us, the hatred in her eyes tells me she’s capable of far worse than what she’s already done.
“Nicole?”
“W-what are you two doing here?”
Her attempt at being nice to me only makes me want to throw up. I don’t want any attention from this girl. She’s a whole lot of nasty and only someone like Jason would be totally oblivious to that.
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
She stalls, her attempts at trying to get my attention getting more and more desperate by the second until the sickly sweet scent of her perfume threatens to choke me.
“The principal just called for a special assembly for us seniors and since I’m class president I’m supposed to get everyone together.”
“Thanks for the concern, we’ll be right there.”
And maybe it’s the tone, the fact that I’m not prepared to take any more of her bullshit or let her pollute the air with more of her vileness that finally gives her a clue. With one last glare at Tessa, she leaves and I can finally breathe again.
“That was awesome!” The smile on her face, how happy she looks right now? Well, I’d take a million showdowns with Nicole if I could get her to beam like that at me.
“Talking, are you? You weren’t looking so keen a while back.”
She blushes profusely, looking so adorable that all I want to do is kiss her. But I know better now. Patience, Stone, you’ve just got to be a little more patient. You don’t rush girls like Tessa, especially not if you’re going to be their first kiss.
Which you bet your ass I will be.
***
Our first “tutoring” session is right after school as we’ve got both the principal and Mr. Goodwin on our case and we’ve got to give them regular updates. But Tessa and I both know, I don’t really need help with studying, so it pleases me that she’s still going with the little charade. The events of the cafeteria are still fresh and maybe it’s just me, but I feel like we’ve finally broken down a barrier between the two of us, something’s shifted and changed and I like the direction we’re heading toward.
We’re
in my room, eating lunch and trying to study but all I can do is take in the fact that she’s in my bedroom and my messed-up brain links that up with how close I actually was to her in the cafeteria and I want to do more of that; I can’t help but wish.
Shit, what a time to be turned on.
But I obviously can’t act on it since Tessa’s been distracted and lost in her own thoughts since we got here. She hasn’t said a word to me but she’s thinking so much, I can practically hear her brain processing everything that’s happened.
“Why are you so quiet?”
The fact that she doesn’t answer me and just gets lost in her own head tells me that I might need to back off a little and give her the space that she deserves. I don’t have the right to just walk in and pretend to fit right into the life that she has now. We’re both different people than who we were three years ago and maybe it’s just damn confusing for her to come to terms with who I’ve become while I’ve been away.
So I try to go back to someone familiar.
“Tessie?” I try to get her attention again, genuinely worried about just how hard she’s had to think about me, about us. Do I really stand a chance here?
“What?”
“Are you okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, you look a little dazed. That must have been some daydream.”
“Trust me when I say you didn’t star in it.”
And she’s back, I mentally applaud myself. So that’s how you get her to not have a panic attack, keep things light and no matter what you do, don’t talk about feelings, at least not just yet.
Got it, I’ll need to put on the kid gloves. I decide to change the topic so that neither of us is thinking about what we almost did, or just how amazing it could’ve been.
