by Rosie Scott
“That is interesting,” Anto agreed. “And it's a good thing, is it not? Having trained necromancers all over the world as your allies.”
I chuckled softly. “Yes, well, that is the plan, but we're not that far yet. Even when we all leave the underground after Quellden is taken, Calder will still be moving eastward to finish this civil war. The only allies we'll have when we visit Eteri are those we gain in Hazarmaveth, but I'm not planning on fighting an army in Eteri, anyway.”
“We should plan for it, just in case,” Jakan pointed out. “We didn't plan on coming across so many gods during the trip here, but we did.”
I nodded. “You're right. Plan for the worst, hope for the best, I suppose.”
“Kai...” Anto trailed off, his brow furrowed as he pondered. “Have you ever considered that someone is giving away your location?”
I stared at him carefully. “Yes. You're talking of the gods?”
Anto nodded. “I know Sirius sent Judai to Nahara, based on the contract you found, and that it's possible she followed us to Killick and beyond from Al Nazir. But Vertun and Nirit both should not have known your location. And Vertun was at the southern tip of the wildlands, as if waiting for us. There was no civilization there.”
“I've thought of that, but the only people who could have given away our location to Vertun in particular would have been those on the ship, if he didn't already know beforehand. I trust Calder now with my life. That would leave only you guys, or somehow the gods are communicating amongst themselves from over the ocean.”
“Perhaps Judai sent a message across the ocean before we left for Killick,” Jakan suggested.
“And perhaps there is a god with powers we cannot yet understand,” Anto added.
“Any of that is possible,” I agreed. “But there is little we can do about it until we know for sure. My mind is on Hazarmaveth for now, since we're finally leaving for it tomorrow. It'll be a long walk, so hopefully my thoughts won't remain so foggy the whole way.”
“Something bothers you?” Anto asked softly, repeating his earlier concern. “You were hesitant, earlier, when you looked at me.”
Yet another ache went through my heart. Anto was so good at reading people, and I never wanted him to think I still had any doubts of him, because I didn't. He had never been a threat to us.
“You...” I trailed off, glancing over to the forge. A whetstone sat nearby, with a tiny seat. I had so many memories of running to Bjorn as he used one, and they all came flooding back to me now. “You remind me so much of Bjorn.”
“Your father?” Anto questioned.
“One of them,” I murmured, before I smiled softly. “The best one.”
“He was a blacksmith?”
“He was. It was more of a hobby, really. His main job was to serve Sirius on his court and as his best war general. When Bjorn hit fifty, he stopped going on war campaigns and stayed in Sera full-time. He still trained melee soldiers, but he loved working with metal. I think it was a side effect from his growing up in Hammerton. He told me he was trained by the best dwarves in Oeric, which is a mountain town along the northern coast of the country.”
“Was he dwarven?” Jakan asked.
“No. Bjorn was pure human. Had a great respect for the dwarves, though. He told me many stories about trying to get Sirius to stock Sera's armies with dwarven war machines. Sirius always claimed they were unnecessary, which was largely true. Chairel fights to maintain their dominance, but rarely anymore do they need to siege settlements. I'm pretty sure Bjorn just wanted the machines in Sera so he could play with them during his time off.” I chuckled softly.
“Will it bother you to fight the dwarves in this war?” Anto asked me, next.
I laughed dryly. “You always know just the questions to ask. Yes, it'll bother me. I wish the dwarves didn't feel the way they do about necromancy. Even if I succeed in taking Sera, I will still have to fight with the rest of Chairel and Hammerton. And Bjorn has been dead for two and a half years; I cannot ask for his advice.”
“I don't mean to sound rude, Kai...” Jakan trailed off, wiping his hands together now that they were free of food. “...but I don't really think you need anyone's advice. You have accomplished more in a few years than most people have a chance to do in a lifetime.”
I exhaled slowly. “Yes, but it is not with my strategies where I become uncertain.” I hesitated. “I have taken Thanati for Calder. It was a small and relatively simple task. I have no qualms over my strategies.” I looked toward the door, as if I would be able to see the streets from here. “Thousands are dead. An entire settlement has been wiped from the map and will be rebuilt. The entire underground will hopefully follow. Thousands upon thousands will die, and despite the efforts of everyone here, Calder and I will be the ones said to be responsible as the rumors spread.”
“You're second-guessing the war?” Jakan prodded.
“No, I'm only beginning to consider its effects.” My eyes fell to the thumb ring Cerin had bought me the year before, and I twisted it around with my other hand. The screaming skull was still as tortured, its agony silent and never-ending. “The effects of waging war have already rippled through Arrayis. Cyrene in Misu was my first clue to that. No matter what I do, and no matter my reasons, there will always be people willing to fight against me. Now that my name is spreading even more so than before, many will decide how to think of me long before I have an ability to make any arguments to my defense.”
“You have had immense luck in getting people on your side,” Anto pointed out.
“Because all of these people have something to gain,” I replied. “Nahara has gained more benefits in our alliance than we have. Calder offers us a future alliance if we help him forge a kingdom. That is the way alliances work. There would be no reason for a country to offer up people and resources if they do not think they can gain benefits twofold. In saying that, once a partnership is no longer viable, they may reconsider.”
“Do you think Nahara will end our partnership?” Jakan asked.
“No. Not yet. King Adar is still star-struck by my race, and Hasani is loyal. But both men are human.” I hesitated. “I'm not doubting our current partnerships. I'm simply saying that I'm waging a war to take over and change Chairel, but it will last much longer than that. I would be daft not to consider that my actions are creating rebellions and pockets of dissent as we speak. Change cannot happen overnight. Even if I succeed with my main goal, this war will last for far longer than I ever intended. Chairel has many enemies, and for as long as I am against them, allies will be easy to obtain. If I win this war, I become them. My quest for more and more power will not be forgotten, and may eventually be used against me.”
Jakan and Anto both were silent for a few moments as we all thought over my words. Finally, the thief spoke up. “What can we do about it?”
“Nothing,” I replied, before exhaling thickly and standing once more. “People will think and believe what they wish to. Each person who has a hand in shaping this world will inspire copycats and avengers. I will simply have to spend the rest of my life fending them off.”
Anto chuckled low. “Oh, is that all? That doesn't sound intimidating in the slightest.”
I smiled at the orc. “I'm not going to fret about it too much, my friend. I wouldn't have it any other way. War would be absolutely boring if my foes simply sat back and let me have my way.” I looked to Jakan. “I hate to end our conversation, but I did come in here for a reason.”
Jakan laughed. “Oh. I'm sorry we distracted you.”
“It's okay. It's nice to take a break and talk to friends sometimes.” I paused. “I have need of your illusion spells, because someone still hasn't taught me them.”
Another chuckle. “You've been teaching magic every damn day,” Jakan protested. “You haven't been free to be taught.”
“I am sure Cerin grows restless,” Anto commented.
I grinned over at the orc. “Oh, trust me, Cerin gets plenty of affecti
on. I rent his sword for a while each night in our apartment.” Anto snorted a laugh in response.
Jakan stood from his chair, stretching lazy with exaggerated groans. “All right, where do you need me?”
“I hope you don't mind if I borrow your chief blacksmith,” I said to Anto.
“Oh, no, whatever will I do,” the orc replied dryly in jest.
I led Jakan out of the building and back onto Thanati's main street. It was bustling today, since the time had finally come to prepare to leave for Hazarmaveth. Soldiers were gathering gear, and some were spending time with those they knew from before the takeover who opted to stay in the city. I caught a glimpse of Nyx and Vallen with the new arrivals farther down the street, walking them through the city and informing them of the changes we'd made. The two had grown a fondness for one another. Vallen loved partying as much as Nyx did, and I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd sneaked her way into his bed by now.
A three story stone building on the corner of a city block sat as our destination, the charcoal gray walls illuminated by magical lights in the streetside lamp posts. Since taking the city, we'd added more of the lamps alongside the main street, to better accommodate those of us who were not accustomed in living in the darkness.
Jakan followed me through the front door of the apartment building. He had been quiet so far, but as we walked down the first hallway and toward a twirling stone staircase, he asked, “Why do you think the Alderi love apartments? I've seen few actual homes here.”
“I asked Nyx the same thing,” I admitted, as I hopped up onto the first step, before continuing upward. “It's a combination of saving on space and the fact that the Alderi don't live as family units. She said there are homes in Quellden, to house the queen, her favorite heirs, and the most successful assassins.”
“Speaking of the queen and her heirs...” Jakan trailed off, before he lowered his voice. “Have you ever thought about how messed up that is? Most Alderi are sterilized, right? And only a few can breed? I mean, Nyx and Calder have...you know. What if they're related?”
“Jakan...” I turned toward my friend as we finally reached the third floor. With some amusement, I noticed the hair tie holding up his long, dark brown hair was Anto's. I wondered if he'd lost all of the ones I'd gifted him already. “It's probably best not to think too far into such things.”
He shrugged, before the tinges of a smile pulled at his lips. “It's of little wonder that half of the Alderi don't have arms sticking out of their heads.”
“Jakan,” I chastised, though I couldn't help but smile. I shrugged, before turning back around to finish our trek. “Maybe that's why Nyx is the way she is.” Jakan chuckled at my joke behind me.
As I neared the last door of the hallway, I sobered from the previous light-hearted conversation before knocking softly.
“Come in,” Ricco's voice invited us from within.
I opened the door, leading Jakan into a small apartment that Kyrin had taken as his own. Though Jakan had never been here, I had visited the abused man many times since healing him during the Battle of Thanati. Kyrin was in desperate need of comfort, and he had no friends. He'd only known Ricco from the torture chambers, so even though they had something in common with one another, it was not a good connection to have for a man who'd been brought to the edges of insanity. As much as Ricco was trying to support the other victim, it was clear to me that his presence only reminded Kyrin of his torture.
The apartment was kept well lit, though I knew that to be because Kyrin was afraid of the dark. His blinded left eye would never see again, and his right had gotten slightly better, though he saw little out of that one. He'd told me before that he could make out vague shapes and colors, but not well enough to ascertain what they were from a distance. I had long ago done all I could do for the man.
Kyrin and Ricco sat together on a long couch, and a thick haze hung near the ceiling of the room, as a result of Ricco's chain-smoking. A bottle of ale sat on a small stone end table next to Ricco, mostly empty. He was the only man I'd ever seen drink so much without enjoying a drop of it.
“Kai?” Kyrin greeted me in question, squinting toward the door as Jakan closed it behind him.
“Yes, I'm here. I've brought a friend who can help you.”
“Oh, thank the gods,” Kyrin breathed with relief.
Jakan glanced over to me, confused. “What can I do?” He asked me, noticing Kyrin's poor physical state.
“The nightmares don't stop,” Kyrin said, directly replying to the question himself. “They never stop.” He reached up to his face, pressing a blue finger into the puffy skin beneath an eye. “I haven't slept more than an hour in three days.”
Jakan nodded slowly, understanding, though he kept his eyes on me. “Kai, the spell only works for a few minutes. It is a temporary fix.”
“But it's the only option left,” I insisted, desperate.
“But it's not good enough,” he murmured back.
“I don't care. I don't care how long it'll work,” Kyrin rambled, reaching a hand out toward us. I figured he could not tell our shadows apart. “Please. Please use it on me.”
Ricco took a long puff of his ferris cigarette, still blankly staring forward from the couch. Smoke blew strongly out of both nostrils a moment later. He offered us no words. I knew he felt as hopeless about Kyrin's situation as I did.
“O—okay,” Jakan stammered, walking to the couch and putting a bronzed hand to Kyrin's forehead. The man leaned into it gratefully as Jakan whispered, “Seriin.”
Kyrin exhaled with relief, before lying back into the corner of the couch. “Thank you,” he offered, his voice heavy with fatigue.
We all were silent for a few minutes. It was amazing how quickly Jakan's calm spell had changed Kyrin's agitated demeanor. A moment later, the man began to snore.
Ricco pulled the cigarette from his mouth, before meeting my gaze. “Perhaps you should use your leeching now,” he suggested.
My eyes widened, and my brows dipped together in confusion. “That will kill him,” I protested.
“This man is already dead,” Ricco responded, glancing over to the sleeping man. “You've already said you can do nothing more. If illusion will only work as a temporary fix, it will be useless to him unless there can be an illusionist by his side for all hours of the day. If he continues to scream himself awake like he has been, he will be dead without any help within the fortnight.”
I stared at Kyrin as he slept, scared that he would suddenly scream himself awake. I had healed him and visited him so many times over our stay in Thanati, so it was heartbreaking enough that I hadn't been able to fix his mind as well. Leeching was a painless way to die. I knew that, now, after Cerin's spell had accidentally transferred to me almost two years ago in the Battle of the Dead. After all, I had already used it to end Theron's suffering after he'd been dismembered.
I swallowed hard, before asking Ricco, “Has he mentioned this himself?”
Ricco nodded, before taking another drag on the cigarette. “You said the calm spell was the last resort. I talked to some alchemists who all said the only potions that would work were temporary as well. Kyrin said that if this didn't work, he was ready to die.”
I stared at Kyrin, overwhelmingly depressed. I had tried so hard to help this man, just for him to still wish for death. I was so used to saving and curing people, that when I came across just one I couldn't help, I felt like an absolute failure.
“Let me hear it from him first,” I finally replied, my voice lifeless.
“Very well,” Ricco agreed, releasing more smoke into the air.
I didn't have to wait very long. Within minutes, Kyrin began to stir, and then he started to murmur and protest in gibberish. A moment later came the screaming.
“Kyrin, you're safe, buddy,” Ricco said, calmly. He'd become used to this.
Kyrin stopped his screaming, though his chest rose and fell rapidly. He squinted his eyes toward Jakan and I once more, before he dev
olved into tears. “It didn't work, did it?”
“For a few minutes it worked,” I said to him, softly. “I'm sorry, Kyrin, but that is all we can do. If you have a friend here who is an illusionist—”
Kyrin shook his head slowly. “I have no friends, save for you and Ricco. And both of you are only here out of obligation.”
“That's not true. I'm here because I care,” I protested.
“You do,” Kyrin said, leaning his head back onto the top of the couch. Sweat glistened on his forehead from his ordeal. “I know you both care. And both of you are leaving for Hazarmaveth tomorrow, so I will have to find others to burden.”
“We have taught some of the people here illusion magic,” I told him. “We can—”
“I cannot ask someone to sit by my side for the rest of their life, curing me over and over again while using our limited energy resources,” Kyrin murmured. After a short silence, he added, “Kai, you wield death magic, do you not?”
My heart skipped a beat, and I exhaled slowly. “Yes. Yes, I do.”
“Does leeching hurt?”
I gritted my teeth and glanced to the side, avoiding his gaze. It wasn't like it made a difference. “No, it does not. I have felt it, myself. It feels like your body is relaxing and preparing for sleep at an accelerated rate.”
“It sounds wonderful.”
I blinked my eyes rapidly when they started to burn. “Kyrin, I saved you from that place so you could live.”
“I have tried to live,” he replied, hopelessly. “I appreciate your actions more than you could ever know, but I am trying to live and it's not working.” Kyrin laughed humorlessly with fatigue, adding, “I spent so long secured in that torture chamber, wishing for freedom, wishing to live. Now that I have freedom, I am still imprisoned in my own mind, and wish for death.”
I said nothing. Ricco watched me carefully, the cigarette still between his lips despite having not moved it in awhile.
“I understand it is a lot to ask,” Kyrin finally said, in response to my silence. “But I beg you, if you cannot find it in you to do it, please send me a necromancer who can. In my blindness, I have limited options at my disposal to do it myself.”
