by R. J. Ross
“But they weren’t changed?” I ask, with a hint of hope.
“No one was as close as Penski, so they didn’t take the brunt of it. One or two of them might qualify in the lower D-class, according to Nico, but all that means is they need to be a bit more careful holding a pen, and they’ve gotten a bit thinner. The only one that really bit the bullet was Penski.” He stops, looking at me a bit awkwardly. “That wasn’t your fault, either. They’re the ones that kidnapped you and stole your energy. Don’t go claiming responsibility for it.”
“But—” I say, only for him to put his phone down and wrap an arm around me, tugging me into his side. I rest my head against his shoulder and he turns the game to the news.
“So… on a lighter note, we’ve just been alerted to a video that’s going viral online right now,” the news anchor says. “This should give everyone a laugh.”
A screen in the corner of the show appears and we watch silently as a very familiar scene starts to play.
“Pelican de what?” we hear from the recording. Next to me, he groans and starts to change the channel.
“Oh, no, we are WATCHING this!” I say, grabbing the remote.
“It was bad enough that a few people heard it,” he complains as we wrestle, “but now the whole world will find out. I’m never going to live that down, am I?”
“And it turns out that there have even been t-shirts made!” the other news anchor says cheerfully, bringing the t-shirt out to show. A silhouette of Vinny in uniform is surrounded by the words “Pelican de Incendio.” The anchor people are obviously fighting laughter. “I got one for my son. He’s a huge Fire Hazard fan,” she goes on, her grin just a little too wide. “And the most shocking part is that these are, actually, officially licensed t-shirts. I think even the Hall finds it too funny to let pass.”
“I’m going to kill Century,” Vinny says, getting to his feet. I grab him, hauling him back down onto the couch.
“You can’t be certain it was Century!” I say, inwardly laughing my head off. “This has Nico written all over it.”
“But really, I think I speak for all of us when we say that we’re extremely proud to have Fire Hazard as a South Branch hero,” the news anchor woman says, smiling beautifully, “and I’m sure that Burnout will be working on his… language skills.”
“They’re dating, aren’t they?”
“I believe so, yes.”
“Does her father know?”
“If he didn’t, he does now!”
Vinny turns the TV off. I get to my feet. “Where are you going?” he asks.
“Shopping!” I say, racing off. “I want to get one of those shirts before they’re sold out!”
***
*Walter Colleck’s Ex-Mansion*
Deep, deep underground, in a large metal room, a semi-transparent pod opens. For a moment the man inside just lies there, processing everything that had just happened. “Well…” he says, sitting up, “that was a failure.”
He climbs out of the pod and looks around at the room full of glass tubes. “Although the super energy powered avatars work, it also makes them a liability. I’ll have to revise, again.” He walks over to the table against the wall, picking up the tiny tube his avatar had left here after he got free of the norm police. “But… it wasn’t a complete loss.”
The venom in the tube gleams faintly in the artificial light.
***
*Two Days Later*
I sit down across from Phoebe, who’s sipping a cup of coffee. We’re on the set, this time, and Rochester and I got several strange looks as we walked through the area to get to the dressing room. “So…” I say, looking around. The place is full of prosthetics hanging on racks next to entire tables covered in makeup and strange bottles. “How have you been?”
“I can’t complain,” she says. “I mean, yes, I could, but if I start doing that you’ll just think I’m a mean old biddy again.”
“I never said that you were—“ I start out, only to groan as she gives me a little smile. “Where’s the monkey?” I ask, changing the subject.
She reaches out, tugging aside a few things and revealing the Capuchin monkey covered in lipstick. “Jojo, what did I say about staying out of mommy’s makeup?” she demands as he hides the lipstick tube behind his back. “Hand it over,” she prompts, holding out a hand. Reluctantly, he places the tube on her palm. “It’s surprising, but that meeting with Mastermental actually helped quite a lot—oh, not the one that you were at; the one that happened after the… incident at the orphanage. Of course, it was quite a shock at the time, but really, we don’t need to go into that. Tell me, Rochester, how’s your little elf girl? Did the date go well?” she asks him, holding her hand out without prompting.
I look at Rochester, he looks at me as he takes the hand, and then, a bit to my surprise, he gives her a grin. “Yeah, actually. She’s good wit’ mah kid.”
“That’s good to hear,” she says. “Cookies? Coffee? I can have someone get you something, if you like. There’s a buffet table that no one ever touches because they’re terrified of carbs.”
“So… you’re willing to talk, now?” I ask. I’m almost positive she’s tricking us into lowering our guards, but all she does is sigh.
“I’m willing to talk,” she says, “but I would spill my life story if you were to get me something from your principal.”
“I’m willing to listen, but I can’t make any promises,” I say.
“Would he be willing to get me one of those collars? Or something like it? You see, while I can block most thoughts, there are people everywhere that are shouting their thoughts for the world to hear, especially among this set. I would honestly rather not hear them, I have a job to do, and it takes concentration.”
I blink. “I think we’d be more than happy to get you an inhibitor.”
“Thank you, darling, you’re a life saver,” she says. “I honestly never realized how nice it was to have my mind all to myself until I spent several months that way. It was terrifying, at first, of course. Do you know how difficult it is to make people like you when you have no prompts to go off of? Oh, of course you do, but I didn’t. And suddenly I was spending so much time with only myself. It drove me a bit batty, especially when I was trying to go to sleep.”
“What were you thinking that kept you up?” I ask her.
“About how I absolutely hated myself,” she admits. “I thought that if I could make my father love me, I would be happy, but we all know how that worked out. And when Maximum took me to meet Star Born, well, I lost all hope. His father helped me get this job, and I resigned myself to being normal. I REALLY hated the norm me, especially.”
“An’ what changed?” Rochester asks.
“I don’t know, maybe nothing did,” she says. “I still jump down people’s throats whenever I feel threatened, I’m bossy and short-tempered, and I’m absolutely positive that trying to help at the orphanage is going to blow up in my face. I have no experience with children, I’m barely any good with Jojo, and he loves me.” She holds out a hand and the monkey climbs her arm, perching on her shoulder. “But strangely, I’ve started to feel better… happier. It really helped when I realized that I might not like me, yet, but there are plenty of things I DO like, like Ben, and this job, and other tiny things that seem silly, but make me happy. Like a good cappuccino. You really can NOT beat a good cappuccino, unless it’s a good bottle of wine and a perfectly cooked meal. Ben’s a bit of an idiot, but the man can cook!”
“I know what you mean,” I say. “There’s nothing sexier than a man that can cook.”
“Can you cook, Rochester?” Phoebe asks him, grinning wickedly. He gives her a disgruntled look.
“Quit readin’ mah mind, Phoebe,” he says, pouting. “I won’t starve, a’ least!”
“Oh, sorry, sorry, I didn’t realize it was a sore point,” she teases him.
“It wasn’t, ‘til y’all started goin’ on about it,” he mutters.
“S
o…” I say. “Do we want to talk about what happened at the orphanage?”
She goes silent, looking into her cup for a moment before sighing heavily. “It was explained to me that the venom that woman shot me with messed up even Superior, right?”
I nod. “That’s right, it did.”
“But that doesn’t change what happened to those kids.” She gives us a crooked smile. “That’s another thing,” she goes on, sipping her coffee. “Ben and I have been talking about having children. Can you imagine? Me, a mother! It’s terrifying, don’t you think? But he thinks that if we work together they won’t be completely messed up. Oh, sure, they’ll probably like horror movies once in a while, but I already promised not to let them watch until they’re old enough. We wouldn’t want their preschool class waking up from nightmares thanks to my little monster. But now… well, I wouldn’t dare.”
“Maybe if you have the inhibitor it might not be so bad?” I offer.
“Maybe,” she says, but I don’t have to be a psychic to know that she’s lying. “So, shall we?”
“Now?” I ask as she stands.
“Let’s go see the children,” she says. “It’s better to face the firing squad straight on, don’t you think?”
“You probably shouldn’t make that comparison while we’re there,” I point out.
“You’re right,” she says. “A group of children that large is far, far scarier.” She looks pale, so it seems she’s not lying. I give up arguing and nod, leading the way.
***
Bonus Chapters:
CATCHING PELICAN
“So your fight against Davis is tomorrow, and then you’ll go home?” I ask Vinny as we walk through the shopping district. “Did you two already plan it out?”
“Ah, yeah, we’ve got a plan,” he says, reaching out and taking my hand. “He wanted to take the Hall’s comic book convention captive, but fire and books don’t go together all that well, so he’s going to take over all the rides at the amusement park and harass the park-goers with drones. He was pretty disappointed, though, so don’t be surprised if you get dragged into the comic book gig next time.”
“Oooh, we haven’t done a convention in FOREVER,” I hear a very familiar voice say behind us.
“SHHH,” another familiar voice hushes her.
“They’re following us,” I say silently.
He sighs. “I know they are, but if we call them out, we’ll never get to see the movie.”
“You should have given up on the movie a long time ago,” I point out.
“Hey, hey, if we’re hunting a pelican, do you think we should have brought bread crumbs?” Skye asks.
“With this particular pelican, I think we should have brought cook books,” Doris says.
Vinny groans. “Even Doris is in on this?” he mutters, looking behind us. I look back as well, only to burst out laughing. The three aren’t even bothering to hide. They’re walking right behind us, eating candy.
“Yo, Pelican,” Doris says, waving a bag of skittles at us. “We’ve come to kidnap you.”
“We’ll take your adorable girlfriend, too!” Skye says, throwing herself at me. “And then you have no choice but to come with us!”
“We bought STEAKS!” Ariel says happily.
“And potatoes, and corn on the cob,” Doris agrees. “We were thinking a barbecue by the lake.”
He hesitates, and I can see he’s torn between the movie and cooking steaks. I also feel a bit cheated, I mean, this is an actual DATE! But… steaks sound better than cheeseburgers, and we can always watch the movie later, right? If nothing else, I can borrow Skye’s teleportation booth and head up to Central for a day!
“I wouldn’t mind going swimming,” I tell him.
He looks at me, and then he looks at them. “You sure?” he asks me. “I wanted to spend some time together before we left.”
“Well, yeah, but if we don’t do it now, they’ll just come up to Central, kidnap you, and drag you back down, again,” I point out.
“Fine, let’s go cook up some steaks.”
“How many steaks did you get, girls?” I hear Century ask over the commlink. I KNEW I shouldn’t have worn my commlink on a date, I think irritably.
“Have you been listening to our entire date?” I demand. “Uncle Charles, that’s so rude!”
“Now, sweetheart,” he says, “I only started listening when I noticed that the darlin’s were following you!”
“And how did you find out that the darlin’s were following us?” I ask.
“Ah, well I was doing patrol in your area, sweetheart, and just happened to catch sight.” I look up, narrowing my eyes and seeing him floating high above us. He’s high enough that the norms haven’t even noticed, but still…
“Since when have Hall leaders done patrol?” I ask. He’s totally following us like an overprotective father figure, isn’t he?
“Let’s run!” Skye says.
“He’ll catch up, you know,” Doris says.
“Not if we distract him!” Ariel says. “OH MY GOSH, IS THAT CENTURY?” she shouts, pointing at the sky in a dramatic fashion. “Look! It IS Century!” she goes on, excitedly.
“It is!” Skye agrees.
I hear Century curse, and an evil grin crosses my face. “Hey! Hey! Century!” I shout, jumping and waving my arms at him. “I want your autograph!” He comes down, looking disgruntled, and the people start gathering together around him as he lands.
“Time to run!” Skye says, grabbing my hand. I grab Vinny’s, and we race away, leaving Century signing autographs and shaking hands. Skye bursts out laughing as soon as we’re out of sight.
“We’re going to be in SO much trouble,” I say, although I’m not that worried. “Let’s go swimming! I need to get my swimsuit. Mind if we stop by my house?”
“We can sneak in!” Skye says.
“Eh, Voltdrain can come to the party,” Doris says.
“Isn’t that rude to Century, though?” Ariel asks.
“No, because Voltdrain cooks, Century just eats,” Doris explains.
“Papa’s on a date with Cheval today,” I say. The three of them look at each other, and I groan. “No, no, no, we’ve got steaks, remember? No interrupting my papa’s date! You already interrupted ours!” We head for my house and I invite them in as I head for my bedroom to change into my swimsuit. I toss a shirt dress over it and head out, seeing the group sitting in the living room, poring over a familiar book of photos. Vinny is right in the middle of it, which surprises me a bit, but still! I groan.
“You were such a cute baby!” Ariel tells me.
“Well, as fun as this is, we should get going,” Doris says. “Steaks is waiting.”
“You mean steaks are waiting, right?” I say, a sneaking suspicion coming over me. Of them all, Doris usually has the best grammar.
“Nope,” she says. “Steaks is waiting.”
“Chooperic will make sure he doesn’t run away, don’t worry,” Skye says. “Now, let’s go!”
“He?” Vinny repeats as we head out the door. “Don’t tell me…”
“Skye? Is Steaks a longhorn?” I ask.
“Oh, don’t be silly!” she says. “Everyone knows that longhorn meat is too tough! He’s an ANGUS!”
“Extra bonus? It’s a LOT of fun to say Angus!” Ariel says. “Angus, Angus, Angus!”
“Should I go back and grab some sausages from your fridge?” Vinny asks me.
“Probably, yeah,” I say.
“Hey, we’re not eating sausage, we’re eating STEAKS!” Skye complains. “We dressed him and everything already!” We pull up to the forest above their secret base, and I stop to stare at the contentedly grazing steer.
“In a boa?” Vinny asks them.
“He looks pretty!” Ariel says. “But I think he ate the straw sunbonnet.”
“So, cook boy, you get to be the butcher because they couldn’t do it, and I have no urge to,” Doris says, dropping a hand on Vinny’s shoulder. “We only
barely managed to keep Ariel from naming him ‘Ferdinand.’”
I look over at Vinny, who’s staring at the steer a bit too thoughtfully. He wouldn’t! No, I think a second later, he totally would.
“I’m going to need a hook and a knife,” he says, rolling up his sleeves. The darlin’s start to cheer and I groan.
“I’ll go to the meat market,” I say, “no butchering the steer! We’ll sell him to someone that knows what they’re doing.” Even Vinny looks disappointed. I groan, foreseeing the future quite clearly. “No butchering animals without a license, Pelican. You can come with me. We’ll buy a pig!”
“A pig?”
“To roast!” I say.
“LUAU!” the girls shout happily, forgetting all about the steer.
COMING HOME
“DAVIS!” most of the group shouts as the boy walks into the dorms. They’d been in the middle of gaming, but it’s forgotten at the sight of him. “Man, am I glad to see you!” Jonas says, waving him over to the area. “We’ve been getting our butts kicked since you’ve been gone.”
“Really,” Davis says, “that’s why you saved my life?”
Jonas grins at him. “We need your brains,” he agrees.
Davis snorts and heads for “his chair,” sitting down and bringing up all of his settings. He frowns, tapping on the holograms. “Has someone been sitting in my chair?” he asks.
“We, ah, each had a go?” Marisol says sheepishly, looking up from where she’s sitting on the floor. “We thought that’s how you became so good at winning!”
He looks at her for a moment, biting back a scathing resort because, well, she looks like she EXPECTS him to yell. “It is a very cool setup,” he admits.
“It’s a confusing setup,” Treble complains. “Don’t you get distracted by all of the screens?”
“Why am I not surprised that you do, Treble?” Davis says, fixing his settings quickly.
“We already gotta follow the wall and the phone, you’ve got three more things to follow on top of it,” Treble says. “It’s not my fault I’m not a super brain.”
“It turns out that being a super brain is not all that it’s cracked up to be,” Davis admits. The entire group turns and STARES at him. “Oh, I won’t lie, I AM amazing. I mean, I’m so far off the charts that they’re incapable of making a new chart for me. The world is lucky to have a brain like mine—“
