He turns and nods to the large stretch of grass that leads away from the seafront. Beyond the grass are the grand houses at the border to West Selton, screened by great yews and box hedges.
‘I’ve got the day off. And that’s our place,’ he says, pointing to the property directly behind them. He looks a little embarrassed.
Sarah takes a long look at the large house looming beyond the hedge. ‘Really?’ she says, smiling at his Led Zeppelin T-shirt. ‘You seem so – well, ordinary.’
He gives her a shove. ‘Thanks a lot. I know what you mean, though. I don’t think the neighbours think I should live there either. I’m sure they all think I’m a smack-head or something. The way they look at me, it’s as if the sixties and seventies never even happened.’
Sarah smiles again and closes her eyes, easing herself back against the stones. She feels John lie down beside her.
‘I guess I won’t be seeing you in the chemist’s for a while. Mum says you’re revising for your exams.’
Sarah sighs. ‘I’m meant to be revising, but I can’t seem to take anything in at the moment. I think my brain’s gone on strike. I’ve just about given up.’
The gulls return, hovering above them noisily. Ted paces about and gives a couple of small yaps. The birds move on, and for a while Sarah and John lie silently in the sunlight.
‘I saw your mate in town,’ John says. ‘You know, the one who’s going out with your ex-boyfriend.’
‘Kate and Dante.’
‘Yeah, them. They were at hanging around at the war memorial, arguing.’
Sarah’s hands paw at the stones involuntarily. ‘Really?’
‘I think she was accusing him of getting off with someone else. I couldn’t help but overhear – it got a bit heated. He called her a stalker.’
Sarah laughs. ‘What did she say to that?’
‘She told him to piss off, and then she ran off crying. Looked pretty terminal to me.’
‘Blimey,’ says Sarah.
‘Told you,’ he says. ‘Karma. Works every time.’
Ted falls down beside her, stretching out along her body.
‘Do you miss him?’ asks John.
Sarah burrows into the stones with the knuckles of her right hand, irritating Ted enough to make him move. ‘Dante? Not really. I think we’re all better off on our own in the long run. Other people just let you down, don’t they? I’m not so sure we’re meant to be in pairs. Maybe we should be more like birds. They always seem happy enough, flying here, there and everywhere. They don’t have to worry about the bother of relationships, do they?’
‘Swans mate for life.’
‘Well, I bet they’re the exception.’
John props himself up on his elbows, squints at Sarah in disbelief and drops back against the stones. ‘Not everyone’s like Dante,’ he says. ‘And life would be a pretty lonely place if you spent it alone.’
‘I dunno. It sounds quite appealing,’ she says, pulling Ted back towards her. ‘Maybe it’s just me who’s better off alone, then.’
They lie there a while longer. She can hear the movement of stones as John’s hands rake them into piles by his side. The sun seeps into the layers of her face and neck; she could stay here all day. John’s hand brushes hers, and wavers uncertainly, the tips of their smallest fingers still touching. She senses his breath pausing, his uncertainty hovering in the wide sea air.
‘I really like you, Sar,’ he says quietly.
She presses the pad of her little finger against his, then draws her hands together across her chest. ‘I like you too, John. But not like that.’
A gust of wind batters against the far side of the breakwater. ‘I know,’ he finally says. ‘I was just checking.’
The phone rings soon after Sarah gets back from the beach. It’s Kate, inviting her over for the evening.
‘Mum and Dad won’t be home till after midnight. Dante was meant to be coming over, but that’s it, as far as I’m concerned. He’s history. The bastard.’ She starts sobbing down the phone.
‘I’m not sure I can make it.’
‘Please!’ Kate begs. ‘I’ll be all on my own!’
She’s really howling now.
‘Is Tina coming too?’ Sarah asks. ‘Why don’t you ask Tina too?’
‘Yeah, OK,’ she sniffs.
‘Alright, I’ll come. But I can’t stay the night, because of my dad. I have to be here just in case. What time shall I come over?’
‘Seven?’
‘See you then,’ says Sarah. She stares at her reflection in the tarnished hall mirror. She wants to feel pleased about Kate’s distress, but she can’t.
Dad pushes open the door to his study. ‘Did I hear you say you’re making a cup of tea?’ he calls into the hallway.
She tuts and kicks off her sandy shoes. ‘No!’
‘That’ll be lovely!’ he replies. ‘Bring it in when it’s ready!’
Ted sprints along the hallway and slips into the study before the door pulls shut. Sarah fills the kettle and switches it on. She wonders what Dante’s doing right now. Dirty Dante. She smiles to herself. That’ll cheer Kate up. Dirty Dante.
When Sarah and Tina arrive at seven, Kate seems determined to show them that she’s not bothered about Dante. After ripping him to shreds for the first ten minutes she seems happy to drop the subject altogether.
‘The worst thing is, I can’t believe I let him come between you and me, Sar,’ she says, looking ashamed. ‘I’m such an idiot.’
‘No, you’re not,’ says Sarah.
Kate throws her arms around Sarah and squeezes her tight. ‘You’re such a good friend.’
Tina looks on, scratching her fingers. ‘You’ve still got us,’ she says, self-consciously stretching across to rub Kate’s back.
Kate smiles bashfully, picking up her purse. ‘Who fancies fish and chips?’
‘Can I have a pickled egg?’ Tina asks.
Sarah and Kate look at each other in disgust. They burst out laughing, slapping Tina on the arm as they push through the front door.
‘What?’ says Tina, a bemused wrinkle forming between her eyebrows. ‘What’s wrong with pickled eggs?
After they’ve eaten their fish and chips in front of the TV, Kate pulls the coffee table closer to the sofa. ‘Let’s do a Ouija board.’
‘What’s a weeji board?’ asks Tina, scrunching her chip paper into a tight ball.
‘It’s where you call up ghosts,’ says Sarah, dropping her half-finished supper on the coffee table with a plop. ‘I don’t think I like the idea of it. It’s creepy.’
‘Oh, don’t be a wimp, Sarah. It probably won’t work anyway.’
Kate gathers up the chip debris and scoots from the room in her fluffy socks. They hear her flip open the kitchen bin with a bang. Tina dashes to the loo, leaving Sarah alone in the living room. She draws her feet up off the floor, away from the spot where she and Jason had been. Her eyes scan the room, running over the big TV, the faux log fireplace, the wall to wall immaculate carpet. There are no pets, no piles of newspapers, no kicked-off shoes or socks. It’s all too neat and orderly.
Kate returns with sheets of paper, a black marker pen and a wine glass. She kneels at the table, just as Tina comes back and settles on the carpet beside her.
‘I like your necklace,’ says Tina, pointing at the ring hanging from Sarah’s chain.
‘Thanks. It was my mum’s.’
Kate sniffs the air. ‘Urgh! What’s that smell? Have you just chucked up, Teen?’
Tina looks mortified. ‘No! It’s probably just the chip wrappers or something.’
‘No, it’s definitely your breath,’ Kate scowls. ‘You ought to get yourself some mouthwash.’
She tears the paper into equal-sized squares, marking each one with a letter of the alphabet. She arranges them on the coffee table in a circle and places the wine glass upside down in the centre. She sits back on her heels to view her work, then quickly scribbles out a ‘YES’ and ‘NO’ sheet and ad
ds them to the circle.
‘So, here are the rules. We all have to place our finger on the base of the glass, and we start off by moving it in small circles. There’s no point in trying to make it move in a direction you want it to go in, because we’ll all be able to tell. If a spirit comes into the glass, it’ll spell out messages to us. I’ll do the talking.’
She jumps up and flicks off the main light, so that the room is in shadow, illuminated only by the hall light on one side and the kitchen light on the other. Tina widens her eyes at Sarah and exaggerates a noisy gulp.
Kate moves closer to the table. ‘Fingers on? So, we’ll just get it moving a little. Yep, like that. OK. Spirit in the glass, spirit in the glass. If there is a spirit in the glass, tell us of your presence by moving to “YES”.’
The glass rotates a few times, then swerves to ‘YES’ and halts. Tina starts to squeal, but Kate thumps her with the back of her free hand. The glass starts to move round again.
‘Stay calm. Spirit in the glass, are you a good spirit or a bad spirit? Go to “YES” if you are good.’
The wine glass starts to circulate again, slowly at first, increasing in speed until it violently stops at the ‘NO’. The girls gasp.
‘What should we do?’ asks Tina, sounding scared.
‘Burn it out,’ replies Kate. She sprints into the kitchen and returns with a lighter, lifting the glass and placing the flame inside the upturned goblet. ‘There, it’s gone. Let’s go again.’
The glass rotates inside the circle and after a few minutes they find a good spirit. Sarah’s concentrating hard on figuring out if Kate is guiding the glass, but the movement is so light and independent, it seems impossible that any one of them is responsible.
‘Good spirit, do you have a message for any one of us here? Indicate by moving towards that person.’
The glass spins about the circle, slowing down and eventually stopping in front of Tina.
‘Spirit, tell us your message.’ Kate rises up on her knees, her back straight, her voice authoritative.
The glass slowly spells out Tina’s message, as she watches on in horror.
F. L. U. F. F. Y.
She appears to be speechless.
‘Does that mean anything to you, Teen?’ asks Kate. Sarah suspects her concern is phony.
Tina’s tongue darts in and out of the side of her mouth. ‘He was my first kitten. Remember I told you? We think he fell down the back of the plasterboard when the builders were putting the kitchen in. By the time we realised where he was it was too late. They’d already rendered the wall and started sticking up the wallpaper.’
‘God, that’s awful,’ says Sarah, thinking of the little kitten tumbling down the back of the wall. When she locks eyes with Kate it suddenly seems funny, and she has to bite her lip.
‘Yeah. Dad said we couldn’t afford to take it all down again, especially as the wallpaper came from Laura Ashley. And anyway, Fluffy would’ve been, you know, dead, by the time we realised.’
‘Poor Fluffy,’ says Kate, with water in her eyes. A nervous smile quivers at the edges of her mouth. ‘Right! Fingers on!’
The next message is for Sarah. Without realising it, her other hand reaches for the ring and she runs her finger over the bumps of the three little pearls.
‘What is your message for Sarah?’ Kate demands.
The glass circles a few times and starts to spell out a word. The girls’ lips move in unison, as the message appears.
W. E. D. D. I. N. G. R. I. N. G.
Sarah’s hand flies to her lap. She throws Kate and Tina an angry glare. ‘It’s her engagement ring.’
‘What is?’ asks Kate, appearing perplexed.
Sarah feels light-headed and furious. She shakes her head. ‘What else have you got to tell me?’ she demands, taking over Kate’s role.
Tina and Kate look at each other sheepishly. The glass circles, spelling out a new message for Sarah.
B. E. G. O. O. D.
Sarah puffs air through pursed lips. ‘Well, that could be for anyone.’
The glass continues to spin, pulling their fingers with it, becoming more frantic all the while, threatening to spill over at any time. The girls chant out the letters as they come:
A. L. W. A. Y. S. W. I. T. H. Y. O. U.
The glass comes to an abrupt halt in front of Sarah, and topples over dramatically. It lies on its side rolling in gentle semi-circles until it slows to a stop.
Tina draws breath slowly.
Kate picks up the glass and returns it to the middle of the table. ‘Was that your mum, Sar?’
Sarah’s eyes move from Tina to Kate. Tina looks terrified.
‘Probably not.’ There’s a slow tremor building up inside her organs, and she needs to get out of here before she starts to shake all over. She feels sick. She feels sick all the time.
‘Another one?’ asks Kate, returning her finger to the glass.
Tina shakes her head and edges away from the table.
‘I’d better go,’ says Sarah. ‘It’s gone eleven. Dad’ll be waiting up, no doubt.’
Tina and Kate stand at the back door with the patio light on, so Sarah can wheel her bike out through the side gate. She hears the back door clunk shut as she leans over the gate to draw the bolt behind her. Her thoughts are racing. She tries to replay Kate’s movements as the glass sped from letter to letter. Was it Kate?
‘Hello, stranger.’
Sarah spins round, almost losing grip of her bicycle. It’s Jason, standing right beside her, jangling his car keys. Sarah hears Patty’s voice as she enters the house around the corner, out of view.
‘You made me jump,’ she says, stepping back against the gate, her hands gripping the bars of the bike.
‘Long time no see.’ He throws a furtive glance over his shoulder and slides his hand up past her waist, cupping her breast firmly.
She flinches.
‘Bloody hell, sweetie. You’ve filled out since I last saw you.’ His second hand comes up to take the other breast, and he gives them both a squeeze, his eyes moving from one to the other like a greengrocer weighing up produce.
She shoves past him, her head firmly down as she wheels her bike on to the path.
‘Night, sweetie,’ Jason calls after her.
Sarah cycles as fast as her legs will go, feeling the blood pumping through her body, the wind in her ears. Tears whistle across her cheekbones, flying out into the night.
The first morning back after half-term Sarah enters the toilets next to her form room and finds Kate and Tina bunched together at the far end. They’ve all got exams scheduled after lunch, so the morning is meant to be spent revising. Tina is leaning over the far basin, her white knuckles gripping the edge, as Kate forces a small gold stud through the ridge of cartilage at the top of Tina’s ear.
‘What are you doing – ?’ asks Sarah as she moves closer.
Kate turns and smiles.
‘Fuckafuckafuckafucka – ’ Tina chants, her sharp body held rigid against the basin.
‘There! Let me just pop the butterfly on,’ says Kate, looking delighted with herself. ‘Da-dah!’
Tina looks side on at her reflection in the mirror. ‘Shit,’ she mutters.
‘It’ll be fine!’ Kate steps back into one of the toilet cubicles and returns with a wodge of toilet paper for Tina to press against the mess. ‘Cool, eh? You know Siouxsie’s got them all the way up her ears.’
Tina cautiously peels the toilet roll from her ear for another look at the swollen purple-red mass of skin. ‘Who’s Suzy?’ she asks.
‘Siouxsie and the Banshees, you plank.’
Sarah has a closer inspection. The skin pulsates grotesquely around the tiny gold stud. Drying blood is caked into the vertical creases of her ear.
‘We should go and register or they’ll put us down as absent,’ Sarah says, pulling open the door.
The girls pick up their bags and return to the form room, Tina still pressing the toilet tissue to her mutilated
ear.
By mid-morning, it’s still bleeding, and Tina says the throbbing has become unbearable. The three girls sit in the far corner of the library, trying to revise, with Tina growing increasingly neurotic about her ear. She keeps removing the tissue and assessing the blood loss, which she believes has reached a critical stage. Sarah and Kate are struggling to keep from laughing. ‘I’ve got to get it sorted before one o’clock,’ she says desperately. ‘I’ve got my Home Ec. exam! You know what Miss Norman is like about hygiene. She won’t let me in looking like this!’
Kate decides to take her to see Mrs McCabe to get it seen to, and they scurry off towards the front office, leaving Sarah alone in the library. She leans back in her chair and gazes up at the high Victorian ceiling and dark panelled balcony which looks out from the first floor classrooms. She’ll go and see Mrs McCabe herself later, as soon as Tina and Kate go off to their afternoon exams; she’ll know what to do. Sarah’s exhaustion seeps through her veins like mud, and she slides down against the top of the desk, closing her eyes and resting her head on her forearms. The library is so quiet she can almost hear the dust falling from the balustrades above. Occasionally, she hears soft footsteps walking through the corridor, but no one knows she’s here, tucked away behind the high bookshelves in the furthest corner of the room. She dreams of the spring tide, gently lapping at her toes as she sits at the water’s edge. In her hands she holds a small chain of slipper limpets which she prises apart, one at a time. One. Two. She tosses each mollusc into the retreating water. Three. Four. Five. She’s left with the final limpet, turning it this way and that, trying to coax the living creature out. But the sun is too bright and all she can see is the ear-shaped contours of its interior, its smooth septum gleaming pinkly in the white light.
She’s startled by the sound of Kate’s bag clunking against the desktop. ‘What?’ she says, sitting up.
‘What, what?’ replies Kate, grinning, pulling out the chair opposite. In the shimmering shade of the library her skin looks flawless.
‘Where’s Tina?’ Sarah runs her hands through her hair and blinks a few times to refocus her brain.
Hurry Up and Wait Page 21
