“Hurry, he’s on!” She ushered me inside and I could hear his beautiful voice singing a song I had heard a million times. My stomach reacted by releasing a million butterflies and I took a deep breath. Several people were standing in the stage doorway, their backs to us while they watched Max.. His profile was towards us and my heart leapt at the sight of him. He looked adorable in a plaid shirt, his messy dark hair the same, his scruffy beard surprising me, but I loved it.
The first song ended and the applause was loud. A couple of guys standing by Colin turned to look at me and my eyes landed on a petite brunette standing next to them, wearing a tight blue dress and high heels. I didn’t need her to turn around to know who it was. She would always bring to mind a black cat and Kara’s warning. Max began his second song and she was forgotten as I watched him.
When he got to his final song he spoke. “Thank you all for letting me play for you tonight. I’m Max McKinley, and this one’s called, “The Saddest Song.”
His guitar started to play the haunting melody but my ears were listening carefully to the lyrics that had been added, each word burning its way into my heart.
Everything seems colder when you aren’t around
Hands in my pockets and eyes to the ground
I miss the days with the gaze that went right to my soul
Seems to me you’ll always be the one that makes me whole
The truth is that when I’m alone
I stare at your name in my phone
And no matter what I do
There’s no out of love with you
Maybe I could be right
Maybe I could be wrong
But Baby without your tune
I’m just the saddest song
Words you said to me float around in my head
Late at night I toss and turn thinking of you in bed
You let me into your world, made mine a lot less dark
Now I’m left in the deepest black, boy do I miss your spark
There’s something bout being alone
I’ve lost the one that I call home
Now I’m left in this lonely state
Baby I think that you’re my fate
Maybe I could be right
Maybe I could be wrong
But baby without your tune
I’m just the saddest song
I’ve lost my mind thinking what to do
Can’t you see what you put me through
I’m leaning on the edge
Let me fall into you
Maybe I could be right
Maybe I could be wrong
But Baby I need your tune
Won’t you fix this sad song
My heart soared with the realization that he still cared. My heart broke with what I had put him through. I stood back from the doorway, tucked in the shadows as I watched Max accept his applause. The audience wasn’t being polite, the song had touched them too. As he came off stage his face was lit with the smile I had missed and Colin grabbed him and hugged him before running onto the stage himself. Ethan and Rylee and Sophie each hugged him too and I was about to let him know I was there, tell him how proud of him I was, how much I loved his song. How very much I loved him. When I saw Lalie jump into his arms, laughing and going on about how wonderful he was. I saw him hug her back, laughing in his happiness, and I knew I was too late. No matter what the words had said in his song he had moved on.
I didn’t wait, I didn’t think. I turned and fled. I wanted to get as far from him as possible. I couldn’t bear to have him see me. See the two of them look at me with pity. I ran as fast I could down the dark sidewalk, dodging people and feeling tears fill my eyes. I needn’t have run, nobody followed. I made it to the car and locked myself inside. Lying my head down on the steering wheel, I sobbed.
Max
I was fine on stage. The first three songs went well and I was in the home stretch when I introduced my last song. As soon as I began to sing the first line I felt her. Felt her near me in a way I hadn’t felt her in so long. I sang for her. I sang as if she were standing in front of me, her alone. The audience disappeared as I poured my soul into those lyrics. Rainey was my tune, she was my heart, and without her I really was nothing more than a sad song. That’s how I felt, that’s what I sang. I needed her as badly as I needed my next breath.
The song ended, the applause was generous and I shook off the emotions the song had caused. This wasn’t the time, or the place. Colin embraced me as I came off stage, and I laughed with the relief of having survived my first show. I felt euphoric, and accepted hugs from Ethan, Rylee and Sophie. The next thing I knew Lalie had wrapped her arms around me, pressed herself tightly against me and told me how wonderful I was. I laughed and thanked her then gently tried to extract myself from her arms. She was hot, there was no denying it, but she wasn’t for me.
Rylee was only too happy to help rescue me and pulled on my arm saying, “Max, I need to talk to you.”
“But I want to watch Colin, can’t it wait?”
Lalie stood there waiting too, obviously thinking I’d be hers again in a moment. I tuned them both out and watched my friend sing. We all watched the rest of the show then headed across the street for a late dinner. I was ready to celebrate. I made sure I seated myself away from Lalie, ending up between Sophie and Colin. I saw Rylee trying to signal Sophie and glancing from her to me and finally I asked Sophie what was going on.
She looked at me and said, “Rainey was there.”
She had my full attention. “What?”
“She was backstage with us. She watched you sing.”
“But she left?” My heart was suddenly racing and I was trying to understand.
“Well, when Lalie practically mounted you she ran out.”
“Shit! How did she even know to be there?”
“We asked her. We wanted her to hear the song you wrote about her.”
I lowered my head into my hands. “Did she?”
“Of course. I watched her while you sang it. She loved it, I could tell.”
“I have to go!” I said, standing abruptly.
When Colin started to object, Rylee said, “Leave him alone, he has to go.”
I rushed to my truck wondering if she was still up. It was late, but I wasn’t willing to wait until morning. I was tired of waiting. By the time I got to her house the lights were off. I tried texting her but there was no reply. I got out of the truck and went around the side of the house letting myself in the gate. I looked up at her dark bedroom window and tried throwing the coins I had in my pocket. They didn’t rouse her and I decided I would have to ring her doorbell. I was passing the side of the garage and looked inside the window shocked to see her car wasn’t home.
Where could she be? It was past midnight.
I got back in my truck and drove over to Caitlynn’s house but her car wasn’t there. I headed for Colin and Rylee’s and then Ethan and Sophie’s but she was nowhere to be found. At a loss I even drove over to the shelter but the parking lot was dark and empty. Deciding that she must be home by now I returned to her driveway and was worried when I saw that she still hadn’t made it back. Where was she?
There was only one person that might be able to help me. It was now going on two in the morning but I decided I had to wake her.
“Hello? Max?” Kara answered, sounding pretty alert for the middle of the night.
“Kara, I’m sorry to wake you. I can’t find Rainey.”
“Just go home Max.”
“No, I can’t. I have to find her. Please Kara, I need your help!”
“I know. I AM helping you Max. Go home.”
“What?”
“She’s been there all night, waiting for you.”
Chapter 33
Rainey
I couldn’t go home. I had told my parents that I was spending the night with Rylee and Sophie so that I could be with Max. My heart was so heavy and I felt so tired. Tired of the mess that I made of my life. I needed to fix it,
and I needed to start tonight. If Max had moved on, fine. I still needed to talk to him. I had so much apologizing to do. I needed closure if nothing else.
I decided to park near his house until he got back. I would talk to him before I had a chance to chicken out. I would make him listen. I pulled up, and turned off the car. I didn’t know how long he would be. I turned my phone off after ignoring dozens of calls from Rylee. I would deal with her and Sophie tomorrow. I would wait as long as I needed to. I had nothing but time.
I was awake until about one thirty and then my eyes grew heavy. I nodded off, then startled awake any time a car went by. I rubbed my eyes and kept waiting for his car to pull into his driveway. What was he doing at nearly two in the morning? I slammed the door on that thought. I didn’t want to know.
My thoughts were interrupted by headlights turning onto his street and then the familiar truck pulled into his drive. I opened my door and hurried towards his garage hoping to catch him before he went inside. I knew how he felt about doorbells that rang in the middle of the night. I need not have worried because instead of going into the house he came running towards me.
“Rainey,” he said, his fingers running frantically thru his messy hair, a nervous habit of his I knew only too well. “I have been looking for you everywhere.”
He didn’t touch me, but his voice was like a caress.
“I need to talk to you. I was waiting for you.” He nodded, and putting his hand on the small of my back guided me through the dark garage and into the house. We quietly made our way up the stairs and only when we were in his room with the door closed did we speak.
Taking my hand in his he pulled me down beside him on the couch. “You were there tonight.”
I nodded.
“Why?”
“I wanted to hear the song. Rylee and Sophie told me I needed to.”
“And what did you think?” He asked, his eyes staring into mine and making it hard to breathe.
“I loved it, but I saw you with Lalie and I knew you had moved on. I didn’t want to intrude.”
“Lalie means nothing to me.”
“Does she know that?”
“I think she has a pretty good idea. Nothing ever happened between us.”
“So, I’m not too late?”
“Meaning?” He smiled.
“Do you still love me?” It took all my nerve to ask that question, but I had to know.
“More than my life. I will always love you. We are soul mates Rainey, I’ve just been waiting for you to realize it.
“Oh Max,” I whispered. He leaned in and kissed me, gently.
“I love you too, Max. I’ve missed you so much. It’s been awful.” I admitted. He just nodded, and kissed me again.
“Rainey, I couldn’t have stood it if I didn’t know that one day we would be together again. Did you know that we are going to move to Santa Barbara for college, get engaged when we graduate, and spend a long, perfect lifetime together?”
“Max! We are? That’s not fair! You knew that all this time and you wouldn’t let Kara tell me?”
“Well, first off,” he said, kissing my nose, “You needed to really miss me to be able to admit your feelings for me. And second,” he said, pulling me into my arms, “we are a perfect match, and nothing will separate us again.”
He kissed me for real, leaving me breathless. “And third, Kara didn’t tell me anything. I’m predicting our future all on my own.”
“Wow! You are really good at it! And tell me, do you see yourself writing more songs about me in the future?”
“Oh, I see lots and lots of songs about you.”
“You do?” I smiled
“Mmhmm,” he nuzzled my neck, only the best kind of songs.”
“The best kind? What are those?”
“Happy ones.”
“Does that mean our happily ever after is about to start?”
“Oh Rainey, it already has.”
Acknowledgements
As I publish my second novel I want to thank all of those who were cheerleaders for my first one. Whether it was reading chapters, listening to plot points, passing out postcards, hounding your fellow readers or sharing on social media, you made sure that Charming was read. It is because of all of you and your amazing support that I was able to write The Saddest Song. Heartfelt Thanks to the following people:
Lalie Vallesteros, Diana Harris, Shannon Davis, Courtney Rogers, Kimberly Embry, Marion Peterman, Leigh Peterman, Judianne Graves, Rachel Graves, Irma Peterson, Christine Parke, Kathleen Pathi, Veronica Speck, Anesh Speck, Elvyna Kerrey, Danielle Roque, Kat Hoelck, Bill Graves and Darlene Graves
Special Thanks to Theresa Jackson at Orchard View Color for creating another awesome book cover.
While The Saddest Song is a work of fiction, Mark Kerrey isn’t. The drummer for both The Sam Bradley Band and Dubai, he is also a talented singer-songwriter. I have no doubt that you will be able to hear his amazing songs for yourself someday soon. Thanks Mark for letting me borrow you for my concert.
My awesome husband made sure that every Starbucks in San Diego had a Charming postcard on its bulletin board. Thank you honey, and thanks for making Charming the first book you’ve read since college!
Lastly, I would like to thank my beautiful children. Megan, Morgan and Mason, you helped me in a million ways during the writing of this book. Thank you for your honest criticism, editing skills, and song writing talent. I love you three beyond forever.
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