He closed his mouth and shut the door behind him. "You look beautiful," he said. William crossed the cabin so that he was close enough to kiss, but he stood back. "Can I suggest one thing? You should...you should untie your hair. I'm sure one night won't summon disaster. Please?" He caressed my neck, then pulled my braid until the ribbon on the end lay in his fingers. He pulled it off, weaving his fingers through the strands to loosen the braid.
I held my breath, wanting him to continue. Last time he'd used the comb, though, and that was still in my pants pocket. I moved away from him to retrieve it, then held the tortoiseshell comb out to him. "Pl...please?" I asked carefully.
"How can I refuse, when you ask so politely?" His arms circled me, pulling me over to his bunk. We sat so close I could feel the heat of his body behind me. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on his rhythmic strokes as he tamed my hair once more.
"You'll love it. I remember taking Sarah to Hogmanay in Glasgow for the first time. We were dancing what felt like the hundredth reel that night and a storm blew in. A gust of wind caught a fair few kilts up and Sarah screamed. It took me a while to get her to calm down enough to tell me what'd happened. Turns out the breeze had whipped some kilts so high she'd gotten her first glimpse of what a true Scotsman keeps underneath. She wouldn't speak to Angus at all that night – I think she was shocked. James had on a pair of tatty underpants and those caused more trouble than Angus' wedding tackle on display. I think that's the night she first kissed James, too. Ha, all the men made fun of him for wearing anything under his kilt, but Sarah thought he was the most civilised of all of us. It wasn't more'n a year later that she married him, true Scotsman or no." William chuckled and I felt his breath on my neck a moment before his lips touched my skin. "I'd ask you to be mine, right here and now, if I knew you understood what I was asking, Maria. What've you done to me? I've barely known you a week, but it feels like longer. You've bewitched me so I want no one else – and no future without you in it."
He fell silent and I turned to see the reason for it. His eyes filled with desire and I was no more immune to it than he was. I reached for him even as he reached for me, tangling together in a passionate kiss that stole my breath away. Yet, panting, I puckered up for more. I couldn't seem to get enough of this man and I wanted more.
"We must...must stop," he panted, holding my face in his hands as he pulled away. He seemed to find resistance as difficult as I did. "You look like an angel, Maria, all dressed in white with your gold halo of hair. I'd never forgive myself if I were responsible for the fall of such perfection. I swear, the day you become my wife there'll be no stopping us, but I can't have you until then." He smoothed my shirt down my sides, then paused to fix one of the shell buttons. "Perfect. Shall we go?" He rose and held out his hand. Together, we walked to the mess deck and my first proper party.
Sixteen
"Maria, you're a very graceful dancer," Captain Foster said as we circled for what felt like the hundredth time this evening. I merely smiled at his evident admiration. It was hard enough to remember the steps of something I'd never danced with others before, let alone with seven men who made mistakes, too.
I crossed the floor again to switch partners and was relieved to find I faced William. The musician fiddling let his last note die away and we bowed. All the men looked flushed and in need of a drink – and I was definitely feeling thirsty, too.
William led me over to a table where one of the stewards was pouring drinks and handed me a partially filled cup. The contents appeared to be a very light coloured tea, but a sniff told me it was as potent as the rum that had tried to make my head explode last night. I tried to hand it back, but William would have none of it. "A girl who can dance a Scottish reel as well as you deserves her dram of good Scottish whisky as much as any man here." The other men we'd danced with, who all held similar cups, laughed. He raised his cup and they followed suit. "To your health on your birthday, Smith!"
Six of them drank. The only man who stood as awkwardly as I did was the first officer – the man whose birthday it was. His eyes met mine and his drink shot into the air. "To the girl who dances like an angel!" All eyes turned to me and a blush crept across my cheeks.
To cover my embarrassment, I took a deep draught of my drink. And choked on what tasted like liquid coal-smoke.
"Are you all right, lass?" William asked, patting me on the back as I coughed. I managed to shake my head as I doubled over, trying to breathe through my seared throat. "Let's get you outside for some air."
He guided me to the main deck, where the strong wind tried to push us back into the passage. There was so much spray in the air that I tasted salt on my lips. I managed to drag in a lungful of air, then another. I counted five before I straightened again. The whole time, William's hand didn't leave my back – a warm, comforting pressure which reminded me that he cared for me. Even if, once again, he had tried to burn my insides with a drink no sane person should consume.
I heard a faint scratching sound, followed by very different music to the reel melodies we'd danced to. This had a loose feel to it, making it more relaxed. I closed my eyes, feeling the new rhythm.
"Better?" William whispered. His breath tickled my cheek as I nodded. "I missed my steps so many times tonight, for I couldn't take my eyes off you. Every time you were on another man's arm, I wanted to tear you away from him so you'd be mine alone. I want to take hold of you and never, ever let go, Maria. What have you done to me? I was lost at sea until I met you. Now I've found you, I'll cling to you like a barnacle to the hull. I won't be satisfied until you're all mine, lass, even if I have to learn whatever crazy colonial language you speak to make you understand. Please tell me I'm not imagining things and you feel the same. That your heart burns for me as much as mine loves you."
"Love," I rasped hoarsely. I knew the word and its meaning, or I thought I did. Love for someone tucked them safely in your heart for as long as they lived, then ripped your heart asunder when you lost them. I coughed and cleared my throat, trying to find my voice again in my whisky-burned insides.
"I'm so sorry, lass. I should get you another drink."
"Water," I whispered. "No whisky."
William laughed and I followed him back to the mess hall, hoping for a cup of soothing water. He made me sit on one of the benches, which had been pushed back along the wall to make room for the dancing, while he fetched me a cup of something from the steward. I sniffed the liquid experimentally but decided it was probably just water, so I downed it in three gulps. William hovered around me, his every muscle betraying an unusual urgency.
"Love," I began again.
William grasped my hands and moved to sit on the bench beside me. "Love," he said eagerly. "Tell me if you think there's any chance you can love me. I know you barely know me and I'm on my way to a job at the ends of the Earth, or so it feels like, but I have the means to take care of you. And I will."
I managed to smile, but he'd only made it harder for me to answer him. I barely knew the words to make myself understood as it was.
"Miss Maria! You have to come and dance to this one!" Charlie appeared in front of me, doubled over and panting. "If you dance the Charleston half as well as that strange Scottish fling thing, every man will envy me. Please dance with me."
William's grip on my hands tightened and his voice came out through gritted teeth. "Maria and I are having a private conversation. Go find someone else to dance with, lad."
"You can't keep her all to yourself, Mr McGregor," Charlie persisted. "She's the only woman here and she's not your wife. Maria has the right to dance with whoever she wants to, without your permission. Maria, will you please dance with me?" He held out his hand to me, his eyebrows pulled so low that they seemed to meet over the bridge of his nose.
"Lad, for the last time, leave us alone or..."
"McGregor. A word, please?" Captain Foster appeared, looking serious.
William looked desperately at me. "Look, captain, I promised I'd take c
are of Maria tonight. We were –"
"Charlie will take good care of her while you and I have a chat. I'm sure she'd only be bored, listening to talk about the mechanics of the ship. Go on, lad. Maria here is so light on her feet, you'll swear you're dancing with an angel. Don't step on her toes, mind." The captain pried my hands from William's and gestured at the open space where we'd danced earlier. "What girl doesn't love a chance to dance, right, Maria?"
Charlie grabbed my wrist and towed me away from William before I could protest. "He sounds like he's your dad or something. Trying to keep you away from me because I'm not good enough for you. I'm only an apprentice now, but I'll be fully qualified one day, with apprentices of my own. It's not like I'm asking for your hand in marriage. Not yet, anyway. Just a dance. Please, Maria." His eyes mirrored William's desperation.
I glanced around, but both William and Captain Foster had disappeared. I took a deep breath and summoned a smile for the sweet boy. "Yes, dance."
He seemed incredibly nervous as he stopped and faced me. I felt his arm inch across my back as his clammy hand fastened tightly over my fingers. He counted us in and promptly entered some sort of jerky fit, a grotesque parody of the reel I'd danced earlier with William. I glanced around, but no one seemed to find this unusual.
Charlie grinned. "It's the Charleston. You got to shake your arms and legs about, like this." He demonstrated, letting his arms and legs fly everywhere. A painful kick to my knee made me cry out and his flailing movements ceased as he buried me in a waterfall of apologies.
Seeing my way out of this confusing situation, I hobbled back to the bench with Charlie trailing behind me. After several seconds, I indicated that I would like a drink and he dashed to the now unmanned drinks table to procure two cups. He presented these to me with unnecessary ceremony, but I smiled and thanked him, all the same. A surreptitious sniff told me it wasn't water, so I carefully set it on the bench beside me. I'd had enough alcohol for one night, if not the next year.
Charlie tossed his back and I realised from his flushed cheeks that this wasn't his first drink of the evening. I fervently hoped he wouldn't be sick again. Perhaps he saw the pity in my eyes, or maybe he'd simply been summoning the courage to act, but the next moment his lips were crushed against mine and his tongue prodded my lips as if he thought I'd grant it entrance. I turned my head away and felt the damp muscle slide along my cheek to my ear. "What's wrong, Maria?" he said thickly. "Haven't you ever been kissed before? You're my first, too."
I leaned back and turned the full force of my pity on the poor boy. I needed to get these words out right so he'd understand. "I...love William." It came out as barely more than a whisper, but he reacted as if I'd shouted.
Rearing back, he stumbled away from me, hurt. "Maria," he whispered, then bolted out the door to the darkness.
Seventeen
Alone in a room full of people, I drew my knees up to the bench beside me and closed my eyes, listening to the music from the gramophone. I longed for William to return and hold me again, so I could tell him that he had a place in my otherwise empty heart. Sleepily, I sang along with the melody, so faint I could barely hear my own voice as I thought of William. Not knowing the song's words, I sang my own – calling him to return and claim me.
"Maria."
The unfamiliar voice made me jerk my eyes open. A forest of hands extended toward me as the assembled crew all asked the same thing – requesting that I dance with them.
No. This wasn't possible. They couldn't have heard me – how could they have known what I wanted, from the one man who wasn't among them? I jumped to my feet and shrugged off their pleas. William – where was William? I couldn't see past them to find him.
"No. NO!" I insisted, trying to push through them. I could see the door, but there were too many men in my way. I stumbled on anyway, shoving through them and stepping on my sarong skirt. My knee got caught in the fabric and I fell heavily to the deck. The men seemed to hesitate, before a clamour of voices rose again, offering to help me up. Every man's hands seemed to want to assist, like a million tentacles curling around my body. Between them, they lifted me to my feet, but the sarong had somehow come untied, so it slid to the deck and almost tripped me again as I struggled to escape their kind but misguided attention. I fought my way free from its folds and hurried to the exit. I wanted to scream at them to leave me alone and not touch me, but I didn't know the words.
I almost made it before a dark shadow barred my way. Two more hands grasped my shoulders and my tears of fury spilled over. "NO!" I cried, trying to push the man out of my way.
"What's wrong, Maria?" William asked gently, taking in my messy appearance. When his gaze reached my bare, bruised knees, his expression tightened. "What happened? Where is your skirt?"
Now the tears had started, I couldn't seem to turn them off. Faster they fell as I tried to pull out of his grasp so I could go hide in my cabin. I'd had enough revelry and dancing for one night – for all my nights.
"It's all right, lass," he said. I cried out in alarm as he swept me up in his arms. My feet grazed the bulkhead – the passage wasn't wide enough for this.
"McGregor," the captain began. I hadn't seen him standing in the shadows beside William. Had he witnessed my weakness, too? I struggled to be set on my own feet again.
Looking hurt, William gave me my freedom. "I swore I'd keep her safe and I won't break my promise. It's your ship and they're your crew – you sort them out. All I'm worried about is Maria."
Captain Foster sighed. "Take care of her, then, and find her some clothes. God only knows what happened this time and she surely won't tell us. Go on." He waved his hands in the direction of the sleep cabins.
Cautiously, I took William's hand. I took two steps toward our cabin, but he hadn't moved, letting my arm stretch out behind me. One more step and I'd have to let go. I didn't want to. "No hurt," I said slowly. "No more dance." I laid my cheek on the back of my hand, as I'd seen him do when he slept, and closed my eyes. "Rest."
Perhaps in the morning I'd have the courage to tell him the secrets of my heart.
Eighteen
I turned over in my narrow bunk, hoping to find some spot that was more comfortable, but it was no use. It wasn't the music I could still hear from the party in progress keeping me up, either. No matter how I lay, I still felt the grasping hands on my body, wanting more from me than I was willing to give. How had a ship full of sane men suddenly become one crewed by lust-crazed monsters? I wanted the comfort of William's arms around me to drive away the sensation of his shipmates' assault. Peering down at the bunk below me, I wondered if I could persuade him. His soft snores told me I'd have to wake him first, or slip into his arms as he slept and hope that would be enough.
The more I resisted the urge, the more I ached for him until I finally gave in and climbed down the ladder to the floor. I slipped beneath the blanket, cuddling up to his warm body, to find the man slept in a vest and some sort of short pants, instead of naked as I did. After a few minutes, his arms closed around me, just like I wanted, as he seemed to rouse. "Maria?" he murmured.
"Yes, William," I whispered back, pressing my body close against his. I could feel his arousal and I suddenly wanted that, too. A hot, passionate encounter to drive the day out of my mind. I slipped my hands into his shorts, stroking his hard length. I wanted him so badly – I'd never felt such longing for Giuseppe.
Forgive me, Giuseppe, but William is warm and here and you can never hold me in your arms again as you tell me you love me, I thought. And William, William...
William woke and I had no thoughts left for Giuseppe – only for the man beside me, who had ripped his clothing off. He stroked my breasts and belly so hard it seemed as if he wanted to leave bruises beneath his fingers. His hands dipped lower still, setting my thighs on fire as he caressed those, too, parting my legs. His fingers slipped inside me at the top of each stroke, trailing wetness down my inner thighs before stroking inside for more.
; I moaned without words for the pleasure he gave me and how much more I craved. He seemed to understand exactly what I wanted. William's hands wrapped around my thighs, his fingers spreading my lower lips wide. He lifted me as he shifted so that I was poised above his hard head, wet and waiting. I tried to squirm down onto him, but all I managed to do was drive his fingers deeper. "Oh, yes," I moaned, wanting more. He slammed me down against him, as he drove up inside me.
"Oh God, Maria," he groaned, drowning out whatever sounds I made. Blissfully, I tried to hold tight to his hard heat inside of me, but he withdrew almost completely before he thrust deeply again. The harder I tried to hold onto him, the more molten my insides seemed to become until a volcanic burst of pleasure made me sob his name. I felt him chuckling, though he still filled me, as he said, "Oh, I can do better than that, lass. Hold tight." He seized my hips and ground me against him with each slow thrust, the steady rhythm building the heat hotter still.
"Oh, yes, yes, William...oh...OH!" When this stunning rush hit, he fastened his mouth on my bouncing breast, sucking so hard I thought he'd take the nipple off. He licked and kissed his way across my chest to the other nipple, suckling gently while I clenched him tightly between my legs. Still shaking, I wanted more of the pleasure this man could give me and I started riding him, like a boat rides a wave. Flying over the crest, then slamming down into the trough, spreading my legs wider to drive him as deep inside me as he could go, my hips rocking as the heat built inside me so slowly I thought I'd scream before it released.
His mouth still wrapped around my breast, William grasped my hip with one hand, grinding me against him again as his other hand slipped between us. I was already full of him – what else did he think he could fit inside me? He pinched something between my lower lips, rubbing the swollen flesh hard between his fingers and I let out a wordless sob as the sensation overwhelmed me. I barely felt the sting of his teeth on my nipple as I screamed his name until I was hoarse.
Ocean's Justice Page 7
