I nod, a lone tear falling, stopped by his thumb. “One day you’ll let me in completely, Bella. One day you’ll learn you can trust me completely. One day you’ll give me your heart, and I am going to cherish it.” He kisses my nose, turning while grabbing my hand where he holds me all night long.
Both of us fall asleep within ten minutes of the show starting, him holding me close and keeping me safe the whole night.
Chapter Twenty-One
Bella
The doorbell rings, and I run to it, wiping my hands on my jeans.
“Hey,” I greet Jackson with a big smile. It’s been over a month now since that disastrous night, and things between us have been progressing.
I mean, we haven’t even tried to get to that point again. I can’t tell you I don’t think about it, because I do, but I’m just not ready yet for the next step.
We have had some pretty heavy make-out sessions, though, which have left us both breathless and strung up. I know he doesn’t want to push me, but every single time I feel him touch me, I get tingles all over.
“Looking good, beautiful.” He comes in and drags me to him. Picking me up by my waist so we are the same height, he kisses me on the lips with a big smack.
“Where is Lilah? Are you guys ready?” he asks, putting me down.
“She’s coming. She was just putting her doll to bed.”And before I continue, I hear her running down the stairs, one step at a time.
“Ackson, Ackson! We go to the phair?” she asks while Jackson picks her up, kissing her nose.
“Yup, come on, Bella, grab your bag and let’s go.” He turns to walk out, leaving me to grab my purse and close up the house.
By the time I make it to the driveway, Lilah is already in her seat and Jackson is buckling her in.
I climb in the front seat, shut the door, and buckle myself in. Jackson opens my door, startling me when he pops in, kisses my cheek, and closes the door.
Lilah must think this is the funniest thing ever since it set her off into a fit of giggles.
The county fair is in town, and I haven’t been to one in forever. When we passed by the other night, the lights got Lilah’s attention, and she begged Jackson to take her.
When we finally get there, the parking lot is full. Parking is pretty much park where you can and hope no one blocks you in.
Once we walk into the fair, Lilah doesn’t know where she wants to go first. So she leads Jackson to the stuffed animals, jumping up and down, telling him she wants a big pink bear.
Of course not one to tell her no, he wins her the pink bear. I shake my head because she has him wrapped around her little finger.
“Momma, look, I got a pink one!” she tells me happily, hugging it close to her chest. “It’s my faborite,” she tells us.
We walk around, going from one ride to the other. She has the most fun on the carousel where she rides a unicorn. Jackson straps her in and stands next to her while the ride turns in a circle.
I look at all the families around us, and I feel that anyone looking in would think we are just another happy family out and about.
When the ride stops Jackson carries her off, joining me at the exit.
“Momma, ice cream.” Lilah points to a picture of an ice cream cone.
“You want some ice cream, sweetheart?” Jackson asks.
“Who are you asking, me or Lilah?” I laugh, leaning into him, making his arm fall across my shoulders.
He brings me closer to him, kissing the side of my head while Lilah hugs his neck from his other side.
“Two girls. Ackson habe two girls?”
“My two favorite girls,” Jackson says while laughing. “Now let’s go get some ice cream.” He leads us over.
Standing in line, I look around for the bathroom. Seeing there is almost no line at the bathroom, I turn around to them and say, “I’ll be right back, okay? Momma has to go to the bathroom. Do you need to potty?” I ask Lilah.
She shakes her head no. “Okay, stay here. I’ll be right back.”
I turn to walk away but am pulled back by my hand. Jackson looks down at me. “Give me a kiss.”
“Are you asking or telling?”
He doesn’t bother answering, just leans down, taking my lips in a soft kiss.
“You want ice cream?” he asks while I’m pressed against him.
“No, I’m good,” I answer with a smile. “I’ll be back.”
After washing my hands and drying them, I make my way out of the bathroom. I have one step out the door when I’m pushed to the side.
My arm is grabbed, and I’m dragged to the side. The shock of it causes my whole body to shake, making my hair fall in my face.
I don’t know what is going on. I stumble over my feet, trying to right myself and see who is holding my arm.
The minute I’m no longer being dragged, I push the hair from my face as I look up. I’m face to face with the devil.
I gasp out in horror. My stomach reacts. My heart beats once, twice, and then it’s beating so fast I can’t even keep up with it to calm it down. My breathing picks up, coming faster and faster. I’m ready to scream. Ready to run. Ready to fight. But first I need to yell.
I finally look into his eyes, and I can see plainly he’s high. There is no talking to this Adam. His once white shirt is a filthy gray with dirt. His jeans are tinged brown from how dirty they are.
“Ad—” My voice is shaking, but I don’t even get his name out before he backhands me so hard my head bounces off the concrete wall.
The shock of pain causes my cheek to throb. The pain from my head is making me dizzy. I go to cup my face, leaving my stomach open for the punch he lands there.
I go down and curl up into a ball, landing on the floor.
“You thought you could leave me!” he yells at me while crouching down and spitting at me.
“Adam, please,” I whisper, the bile from my stomach making its way up my throat. I throw up next to my head. I can’t move my head up because he’s now grabbed a handful of my hair, turning my head to look at him.
“Thought you could fuck me over!” He squeezes my face with his hand. The tears flow freely down my face. My hands try to make their way up to protect myself, but he grabs one hand, twisting it so roughly I hear it snap.
Crying out in pain, I’m trying to keep my eyes open. I’m trying to concentrate on just surviving. I’m pushed onto my back, and he straddles me. Trapping my arms to the side, he gives me no chance to protect myself from what is to come.
My white shirt is now brown with dirt. I feel a cool stickiness dripping from my head to my ear.
“You’re a whore, but you’re my whore.” He smacks my face. “I say who else you fuck besides me!” He delivers a punch to the side of my head. I feel a pressure building in my ear, and my hearing is blocked.
I try to buck him off, try to move my head to the side. He lands three more punches before I give up.
I can barely see out of one eye. I’m going to die here on the floor in an alley. I’m going to leave my baby girl. I’m going to leave my life. I didn’t get to kiss her one last time. I didn’t get to tell Brenda that I love her. I didn’t get to tell Jackson that I want him. That I love him. That I’ve loved him from the minute I knew what love should be.
The blows keep landing.
“You fucking bitch!” He strikes me again and again. “You said you would never leave me!” He pulls my hair and screams, “Look at me, look at me when I’m talking to you!”
He lands one more blow and it’s then the blackness comes to take me. It’s then I let go. Hoping one day Lilah will know I did this all for her. I’m waiting for the final blow, when all of a sudden the pressure of him sitting on me is gone.
Is this it? Is this the end? Am I floating?
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jackson
It’s been a good five minutes, and Bella hasn’t come back. The ice cream cone I got Lilah is dripping all down the sides of the cone straight to her hands
.
Her nose is full of ice cream, and her mouth is covered in it. She tries to stop the ice cream from dripping, but it’s so hot outside nothing will stop it.
“How about we walk to the bathroom and catch up with your mom so we can see if she can clean you up?” I pick her up, the ice cream now dripping all over my shirt.
This plan wasn’t thought out. I obviously didn’t think this through. Maybe this is why Bella left at that moment.
We walk to the bathroom, waiting outside the door. I see the same woman go in and come out a couple of minutes later.
“I’m sorry. I’m waiting for my girlfriend. Could you go inside and see if she’s there?” I ask the woman who has just walked out.
“There is no one in there. I was the only one,” she tells me while walking away from me.
“It’s impossible,” I tell her retreating back. “Let’s go and see where Momma is,” I tell Lilah, who isn’t even paying attention to anything but her ice cream.
I walk to the door, knocking twice hard. “Coming in,” I say right before entering the bathroom.
There is one stall in there, the door half open, showing the dirty toilet. The sink faucet is leaking so much there is a rust stain in the bottom.
The hair on my neck goes up. I feel something is off.
I walk back outside, my eyes scanning the area. I’m about to walk away when I hear a male voice screaming around the corner leading into an alley.
The scene I walk into makes my heart stop and my blood boil.
In the middle of the alley, right in the back of a garbage container, is a man sitting on Bella. His fist lands blow after blow on her. I’m stuck in place. Lilah sees what happens and drops her ice cream to the ground.
Her hand goes straight to her ears as she lets out a blood-curling scream. It’s a scream that brings me out of my shock.
I put her on her feet and run to grab this animal by his shirt. I rip him off Bella.
Her face is a bloody mess. Her one eye is sealed shut. Her blonde hair is matted red with her blood that has seeped out from somewhere.
Her right hand is distorted in such a way I already know it’s broken. But it’s her body that makes my blood run cold. It’s lifeless. I don’t see her chest moving up and down. Her shirt is covered in blood and dirt, but she isn’t moving.
I turn around to grab the man I just ripped off her. I see black. I see nothing but rage. I see nothing but the monster that Lilah keeps talking about.
I lean down, picking him up by his shirt with both hands, ready to toss him against the wall.
The minute that I’m face to face with him, I stumble back. It’s the eyes that have haunted me for the last seven years. “Adam?” I take two steps back, shock setting in, making me frozen to my spot.
The eyes staring back at me aren’t the ones I knew. But I know that face. The face belongs to my brother. A brother who ran away from home seven years ago. The face haunts my dreams. That is the face of the first person I wasn’t able to save.
“You and her?” I ask him, not sure I want the answer to the questions I’m asking.
“Well, if it isn’t the favorite son. The golden boy. He who could do no wrong,” he sneers at me.
He turns his head in response to the screams still coming out of Lilah. “The kid never shuts up. Lilah, stop screaming. Listen to Daddy for once,” he yells, turning to move to her.
The minute he takes one step toward her is the minute I decide the brother I knew and loved is dead.
His bloody fist catches my eyes, and it’s the final snap I need. Charging him back toward the wall, I land my first punch to his jaw.
Blow after blow, I swing. “You are a worthless piece of shit.” Smack, smack, smack. My fists pound against his face. “Fucking scumbag. Brother no more. Dead.” He falls down, but before he hits the ground I pick him up again and continue to deliver blows to his face. “You will never touch them again.” I land my final blow to him before someone grabs me by the back, pulling me back. I don’t even care I could have killed him in this dirty alley.
I hear screaming and crying. Looking over, I see it’s Lilah in the arms of the security guard.
My chest is heaving, my hands raw and swollen. “Call nine-one-one, we need an ambulance.” I rush to Bella’s side.
I sit down next to her. My training tells me I’m not supposed to move her, but I cradle her head in my hands. “Bella, sweetheart, wake up.” Her face is unrecognizable. Tears roll down her face, which is caked with blood and dirt.
“Please stay with me.” I sob out. “Please don’t leave us. Lilah needs you.” I push her hair away from her face. My fingers search her neck for a pulse.
It’s faint, but it’s there. I’m shoved aside when the ambulance and first responders get there.
“Sir, please step away from her so we can work.” How many times have I said those exact words?
“I’m not leaving her.” My back goes straight, my shoulders square.
“Sir, we need the space to help her. Go tend to your daughter while we work on your wife.”
I look over at Lilah, who is fighting to get to me, to get to her mom. Meanwhile, another ambulance has arrived for Adam, along with the police.
I look at Chris and Thomas, who are the police officers on duty. “Jackson, what is this?”
I shake my head and grab Lilah before I answer anything.
“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay. Mommy is going to be okay.” I try to calm her down, but she’s crying for her mom. Her sobbing is gutting me. I hold her tighter, hold her closer,
whispering words of love, promising her everything will be okay. They might be empty promises, but it’s the only thing I can do right now.
Thomas makes his way to me. “That your woman?” he asks, and I just nod. My woman isn’t the right word for her. She’s my everything.
“You know that guy?” He nods to Adam, who has now been put on a stretcher.
“He’s my brother, Adam Fletcher,” I grit out while I watch Bella being loaded inside the ambulance.
“Wait a second.” It finally dawns on Thomas what this means.
My missing drug-addict brother, who ran away from home at sixteen, is no longer missing. He is also the monster the two most important people in my life have been running from.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Bella
“Sir, you need to step away. Let us help her.” I can hear someone say something. I can feel hands probing me. The pain is too much. I want to yell at them to stop.
Lilah, where is Lilah? Oh my God, he’s going to hurt her. He is going to get her.
“I’m not leaving her.” I hear Jackson say.
Jackson. I’m yelling, but no words are coming out. Nothing is coming out. Jackson, protect Lilah. Jackson.
Blackness takes me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jackson
Once they load her into the ambulance, I run to my truck with a sleeping Lilah in my arms. The crying and shock of what she saw overcame her, and she passed out.
I buckle her in, and she doesn’t move. Putting my truck in reverse, I speed out of there.
I grab my phone, dialing Brenda.
“Hello,” she answers, chipper as always.
“Brenda, I don’t have time, so you have to listen and not ask questions.” She must sense something is really wrong.
“Jackson, where are they?”
“We went to the county fair today, and Lilah’s father found them. He beat her, Brenda, he fucking beat her.” The tears I pushed aside start to fall.
“Where is she, Jackson? Where are they?” I hear the tremor in her voice, knowing she is crying. I hear things being knocked over in the background.
“I have Lilah. We’re making our way to County Memorial. I need you to come take Lilah. Brenda, I need you to get in your car and come and get Lilah.” I don’t even finish the sentence.
“I’m leaving now.” She hangs up without another word.
I look in my rearview mirror, seeing Lilah still sleeping. The dried ice cream is crusted on her face now. Her hair is all stuck together in clumps because of it.
The next call I make is to Mick. He doesn’t even get to say hello. “I found him, Mick, I found him, and now I’m going to kill him.”
“Whoa there, hold on, what are you talking about?”
“Adam. I found him. I found him while he beat Bella,” I say through clenched teeth. My jaw is so tight I think my teeth will crack.
“Where are you? Jackson, where the fuck are you?” I hear his voice ask urgently.
“I’m with Lilah on my way to County Memorial. He beat her. He would have killed her,” I whisper just in case Lilah wakes up.
“Jackson, listen to me. I’m on my way, okay? But you need to back up a second and think. You need to take care of Lilah, man. Think about Lilah and Bella. They need you now. Don’t fucking do anything until I get there, yeah?” Mick tells me. When I don’t answer after two seconds, he’s at it again. “Jackson, you go into the ER, and you wait for me. You talk to no one. No one but me, got it?”
“Okay.” It’s all I can say. I hang up, and in no time, we’re pulling into the hospital.
By the time I unbuckled Lilah and I’m walking in, Brenda arrives. Her face is pale and cheeks stained with tears.
“Jackson, oh my God,” she says, hugging us both, shaking as she pries Lilah away from me.
“Ms. Brenda, I want my momma. Ackson, Momma,” she says, leaning forward to go to Brenda, who takes her in her arms and holds her to her chest.
“I know, little heart, I know, but why don’t we go wash your hands, and then Jackson can go find Mommy? How is that?” She nods to me while she turns around and walks to the bathroom at the end of the hall.
I turn and head to the desk. “Sorry, excuse me,” I tell a nurse who is working on the computer when she looks up. “I’m looking for someone who was brought in by ambulance. Her name is Bella. Bella Cartwright.”
Hell And Back Page 11
