Half to Death

by Robin Alexander

  “Let’s unpack and start enjoying this place.” I gave her a squeeze and let her go. We were in a race down the stairs, and she beat me by a mile. I watched the muscles of her bare arms flex as I hooked bag after bag on her hands. “That’s too much to carry up the stairs.”

  “Give me two more and I’ll go.” I dug out the lightest ones I could find and put them on her hands. She rolled her eyes and headed back up the stairs without effort.

  It seemed like it took us forty trips to unload the groceries and our personal items. I felt like I’d run a marathon as I put away the food in the pantry and Jade loaded the fridge with the perishables. She began opening the drawers and cabinets.

  “This place has all the comforts of home.” She moved past the bar that divided the kitchen from the living room. “Satellite TV, VCR, DVD player, and a shitload of lesbian movies and books.”

  “Lesbian owned and operated,” I said as I came out of the pantry. “From what Miranda says, they rent predominantly to our kind.”

  Jade ran her fingers over a statue of a mermaid sitting on the bookshelf. “I really like this.”

  I made a mental note to get one the next time I placed my order for supplies. It would be a great gift to remind her of the week we were going to share. “Let’s pick a room.” Jade followed behind me as I opened the door closest to the kitchen. The stark white bedspread matched the walls, making the colorful mermaid that hung on the wall over the bed stand out. The rich wood of the bedside tables matched that of the dresser, contrasting with the brightness of the room. Jade walked over the colorful rug at the foot of the bed and opened the shutters.

  “This is a sliding glass door. We can sleep with it open and listen to the waves,” she said excitedly.

  The notion hit us at the same time, and we raced to the other side of the house to look at the other bedroom. It was decorated much the same and had sliding glass doors that opened onto the deck. “Oh, decisions,” I said dramatically.

  Jade opened the door and let the ocean breeze fill the room. “Let’s use both. We’ll start off in the other one, then sleep in this one tomorrow night. Whichever has the most comfortable bed wins.”

  “I love your logic. Now let’s explore the beach.”

  We both let out a squeal of excitement as we went onto the screened porch, then onto the deck. I followed Jade down two flights of stairs to a wooden walkway that led to the sand. She took my hand as we walked to the water’s edge and let the waves lap at our feet.

  “This is bliss,” Jade said with a smile as she looked out over the water, then turned to me. “Thank you so much for making this happen.”

  “It would be fair to say we made this happen.”

  “We work well together then.” Jade looked at me and sighed. “I’m hungry.”

  “Look,” I said seriously. “Since we’re on vacation, can’t the diet be on vacation, too? I’m not saying have an all-out pig fest, but maybe fudge just a little?”

  Jade’s brow rose. “Interesting choice of words. Do you have fudge hidden in the kitchen?”

  “Only if you count the stripe in the ice cream.”

  “You bought ice cream?”

  I shrugged. “And cones.”

  She planted a hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes. “All things in moderation, but—”

  “We could eat it now,” I said excitedly. “If we wait until after dinner, it’ll be late.”

  “Interesting logic.”

  I took off running for the stairs. Jade yelled something, but I didn’t hesitate as I took them two at a time. As I started up the second flight, Jade was halfway up the first laughing as she climbed. She’d caught up with me by the time I got to the pantry and ripped the door open. When I came out with the cones, she had her hand on the freezer door. “Nothing fattening for dinner, right?” she said, barely breathing heavy from the mad dash.

  “I was thinking Mexican. Guacamole with chips and fajitas.”

  Jade pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead. “Being around you is one temptation after the other.”

  I moved around her and found an ice cream scoop in one of the drawers. “We’ll run on the beach and work it off.”

  “I want two scoops,” Jade said as she retrieved the ice cream from the freezer.

  “That’s the spirit.”

  We took our cones out to the deck and watched long strings of pelicans glide over the water. Every now and then, one of us would point out a crab or a bird on the beach. There were a few people who passed by hunting for shells or just walking. They’d wave and we’d do the same.

  “You ever notice that people are friendlier in places like this?” Jade asked. “If we were in town and passed someone in a parking lot or store, we wouldn’t say hello.”

  “I think we realize that we’re all enjoying the same thing. Like, ‘Hello, I’m in paradise, you found it, too.’”

  Jade laughed. “I guess so.” She slapped at her arm. “Gnats have found our paradise, too.”

  “I noticed they were bad when we were on the beach. I think they live in the seaweed washed up on the shore. If I were a gnat, I’d live here, too, and I’d definitely bite you, or maybe just ride around on your shoulder.”

  “Wow, your romantic side is really coming out.” Jade put a hand to her cheek. “I may swoon.”

  I chuckled. “When we first met, I thought you had no sense of humor at all.”

  “I had my gym face on,” Jade said. “All business, baby. Speaking of business, when do we start cooking?”

  I took the last bite of my cone and chewed slowly, savoring the sweetness. “I guess this doesn’t qualify as food to you?”

  “This?” She held up the tiny bottom of her cone and popped it in her mouth. “Not even an appetizer.”

  “I guess we better start dinner and feed the savage beastie before she goes wild and tears up the place.”

  *******

  We munched on fresh guacamole while Jade cut up the bell pepper and onions, and I prepared the meat for the grill. I’d pre-sliced and put it into the marinade that morning before I packed. The steak was sure to be good and tender. “How about I open a bottle of wine? That’s healthy, right?”

  “Already did when you went down to light the grill.” She pointed to the kitchen table where the bottle and two glasses sat waiting.

  “Corrine Verner, I do believe you’re a keeper.”

  She looked surprised by the comment and smiled. “I hope so.”

  I stole a quick kiss, then went down to the grill and put the meat on to cook. A cool breeze blew in off the water, and the spices from the meat filled my senses. “How lucky am I?” I said aloud. Less than a month before, I felt like my life was over, and in a way, it was. My emptiness had been replaced with the sweetness of hope and joy. I refused to search out the negatives, the what-ifs, even though a tiny voice deep in my subconscious reminded me that happy times were short-lived.

  A pair of long beautiful legs caught my eye as Jade made her way down the stairs slowly. In one hand, she carried something rolled in foil, in the other, a glass of wine. The wind lifted her hair and blew it all around her face. She was absolutely lovely, but it was the way she looked at me that made my knees weak. I was her sole focus. I wanted to touch her then and confirm what I suspected, hoped. I wondered if she saw the same in my eyes—happiness, trust, desire, and the stirring of love.

  She laid the foil on the grill. “I thought the onions and peppers would taste better if they cooked with the meat. “And I thought we could share this.” She held the glass to my lips, and I took a sip of the wine. I leaned in with it still on my lips and kissed her. If I had to relive one moment in my life for eternity, I was fairly certain that was it because I’d never been happier.

  *******

  “Can I tell you something?” Jade said later as we finished dinner on the porch.

  I looked at her expectantly.

  “I’m a little drunk.”

  I blinked as it settled in. I had no id
ea what she was going to say, but that certainly wasn’t it. I suppose it was the backdrop that led me to believe it was going to be something profound and romantic. The sun was setting, and the sky was streaked with purple and orange. The candlelight in the middle of the table danced in the reflection of our glasses. Gulls sang somewhere off in the distance. “Hey, I’m toasted” didn’t seem to fit.

  “Are you really?” I looked at her glass and tried to remember how many she’d had.

  She nodded. “The glass I had at your house was the first in probably five or six years.”

  Her somber expression gave me pause. Perhaps she’d had a problem with alcohol and my penchant for temptation led her to fall off the wagon. “Is there a reason you’re not supposed to drink?”

  She looked at me with her brow furrowed for second, then her eyes opened wide. “Oh, no. I just don’t drink.” She shrugged. “I don’t have much of a tolerance for it, which should be fairly obvious.”

  “Then that’s okay,” I said with relief. “There’s nothing wrong with getting a little…buzzed.”

  She averted her gaze and looked out at the water. “I don’t want to be…buzzed the first time we’re together. If that’s what you had planned…I mean I didn’t want you to think I was rejecting you if…” She tossed her napkin on the table. “I’m sorry. I knew I should’ve paid more attention.”

  “You’ve picked up my habit of babbling when you’re nervous.” I reached over and ran a fingertip down the side of her jaw. “Don’t apologize. I could never be mad at you for something like that. If anything, I think it’s really sweet that you don’t want to be drunk. I’ve dated quite a few women that wanted to be shit-faced before they got into bed with me.”

  She took my hand and kissed the back of it. “Thank you.”

  “I’m gonna clear the table. Why don’t you make yourself comfy on the couch and we’ll watch a movie?”

  “Nope, I’m gonna help.” Jade stood suddenly and picked up her plate. I followed behind her and chuckled softly at the zigzag she cut across the room.

  “Oh, I wish your clients could see you now.”

  She looked over her shoulder as she put her plate in the sink. “If you take out your phone to record any of this, I’ll…” She bit her lip. “I have…no idea. I’m a little slow on the uptake right now.” She wiped at her face and broke into a fit of giggles. “I’ve never been drunk before.”

  “Never? You’re telling me you’ve never been smashed at least once?” I moved beside her and rinsed my plate. “Methinks you lie.”

  “Me…I think…no, I’ve never been.” She wagged a finger at me. “See, you’re all sorts of temptations.”

  “Well, I think you should have some more wine then. I’d like to see your first full-on drunk.”

  Her expression turned serious. “My dad was a drinker. That’s what turned me off of it.” Jade shook her head like she was trying to shake off the thought. “What movie are we seeing?”

  I stuffed the cork into the wine bottle and set it off to the side. “You pick.” I watched her move unsteadily into the living room and look at the selection as I wiped down the counters.

  “This!” She held up a box.

  I hoped it wasn’t something with a lot of steamy sex in it. The wine had dulled my inhibitions, and I was not in the mood for a cold shower. I walked over and took the box from her hand. “Rocky and Bullwinkle? Absolutely.”

  We lay on each end of the L-shaped couch with our heads on pillows in the middle. Jade reached out and took my hand. She was asleep before Boris Badenov came up with his first diabolical plan for the moose and squirrel.

  Chapter 22

  I awoke with a start. Alone on the couch, I sat up and listened for Jade, wondering if she’d gotten up during the night and went to one of the beds. Quietly, I stretched and yawned, then tiptoed through the house. Jade wasn’t there. After a trip to the bathroom, I walked out onto the porch. Dark clouds loomed on the horizon. I hoped that I was looking at the tail end of a storm system that was moving away.

  “Good morning.”

  I looked down and saw Jade standing on the beach, waving up at me. When I walked onto the deck, I noticed that she was dripping wet. “Did you swim or is that sweat?”

  She looked pleased with herself. “I ran all the way down to the state park and back. I’ll go again if you want to join me.”

  “Oh, no,” I said with a laugh. “Workouts are for the afternoon. Right now, it’s coffee time.”

  “Better drink it fast if you want some time in the sun.” Jade sprinted up the stairs. “According to the report I saw on TV, it’s supposed to rain.”

  “You’ve already run and watched TV this morning? What time is it?”

  She looked down at her watch. “It’s nine, and you sleep like the dead.”

  I rubbed at the kink in my neck. “You’re not hungover?”

  “I had a tiny headache this morning, but after a couple of Tylenol and two bottles of water, I felt okay.” She smiled. “The run did me good.”

  “You’re insane.” I turned and went back into the house with Jade on my heels. “Beautiful, but totally insane. I’m gonna put on some coffee and change into my swimsuit.”

  “I should shower first.” Jade tugged at her wet tank top.

  “Why? You’re just gonna slather yourself with sunscreen and bug repellent.” I nearly spilled the coffee grounds I was measuring as she pulled off her shirt. I’d seen her in a pair of shorts and sports bra more times than I could count, but the sight still took my breath away.

  “You have a good point. I’ll just go rinse off for now.”

  I watched her walk away, wishing I’d bought the kind of sunscreen that you had to rub on instead of spray.

  *******

  “Now this is the life.” Jade stretched out on her lounge chair. Her skin glistened in the sun as she reached down and pulled a bottle of water out of a metal pail that we’d filled with ice. Her chair was close to mine so we could share my iPod. She had one ear bud and I had the other. “I like this woman’s voice. Who are we listening to?”

  “Brandi Carlile. She’s one of my favorites.”

  “She’s raspy and emotional,” Jade said. “You can tell she feels what she’s singing.”

  My eyes were closed, Brandi was singing in my ear, the sun was warm on my skin, and something hit my stomach that was so shocking I nearly wet myself. I bolted upright as a chunk of ice landed on my chair. I looked back at Jade, who was looking as innocent as she could manage behind her dark glasses. “So that’s how it’s gonna be.”

  “Huh?” Jade pulled the bud from her ear. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

  “I said, it’s time for lunch. We’re having seaweed sandwiches. Ever have one?” I reached down and grabbed a glob of the stuff. The gnats swarmed and nearly chewed my arm off.

  “Sloan, if you put that on me, I’ll totally freak out.” Jade scrambled to get out of her chair. “You have no idea what’s living in there.”

  “Maybe a crab, maybe the Loch Ness Monster’s baby, but they’ll all be happy living in your shorts.” I sprinted after her as she ran screaming like a sissy girl down the beach. I was laughing so hard, I could barely keep up. Her tough-girl persona was totally shattered. “Come back here and take it like a woman.”

  Jade cut close to the water and let me gain on her. I really had no intention of touching her with the seaweed, but when she tripped and went down, the weed and I joined her. The clump of decaying mush landed on her upper arm, and she did freak, arms and legs flailing wildly. My apology sounded insincere coming out between fits of uncontrollable laughter. The battle was on.

  Jade grabbed me by the ankle and started dragging me toward the water. “Don’t you…Jade, I don’t go into anything I can’t see the bottom of.” I twisted and turned, trying to break her grasp. When the water met my butt, it felt like ice. I grabbed Jade around the leg and tried to pull her down before she could get me any deeper. When that didn’t work, I g
rabbed a handful of wet sand and tried to stuff it in her shorts. She lost her footing and went down on her knees. We were both laughing hysterically as we tried to put sand in each other’s shorts and bras.

  Jade fell silent and looked past my shoulder. Still laughing, I followed her gaze and turned to see Jacquelyn standing on the beach with her arms folded. Her displeasure was obvious. “I distinctly remember you saying you did not date your clients.”

  I looked back at Jade, unsure of whether I should point out that I wasn’t a client, but what I really wanted to do was tell Jacquelyn it wasn’t really any of her business. Jade’s stunned expression slowly changed into one of indifference. “As a rule, I don’t. If I had been honest and told you that I was involved with someone, would it have made a difference?”

  Jacquelyn looked at me pointedly. “No, it wouldn’t have.”

  “What’re you doing here?” I asked as anger surged through me.

  “I live here.” Jacquelyn looked back at Jade. “I’ll see you Monday.”

  “Actually, you’ll be seeing Jim. I’m off Monday,” Jade said. “You’ll like him. He’s single and dates quite a few clients.”

  Jacquelyn shot me a smile, then looked back at Jade. “I’ll see you Tuesday then.”

  I didn’t wait for Jacquelyn to get out of earshot before saying, “pretentious bitch.”

  Jade grinned as she pulled a piece of seaweed from my chest. “She’s just jealous. Not everyone finds a pearl on the beach.”

  “Oh, that was really sweet, but I think you’re just saying that to avoid having a handful of sand shoved down your butt crack.”

  Jade opened her mouth to retort when the first raindrop hit her squarely in the forehead. We both jumped up and ran to the chairs. The rain started to pound as I grabbed my iPod and she grabbed the towels. We used the water hose to rinse off the sand, and between the wind and rain, we were freezing.

  “You shower first,” Jade said between chattering teeth when we walked onto the porch.

  “There are two bathrooms. If we’re quick, we’ll both have hot water.” We went our separate ways into the bathrooms. After I’d bathed, I wanted to stand under the hot spray until it ran cold but got out quickly, afraid that I’d take the hot water from Jade.