And I want her just as much, he said, but only in the privacy of his mind.
Chapter 4
Alison offered her a seat behind the checkout counter and smiled. “You want anything to drink?”
Taylor shook her head. “Not right now.” She twisted her fingers together nervously. “To be honest, this is all a little…overwhelming.”
Alison comprehended the situation immediately. “I must seem a little overbearing, dragging you to my side of the wall against your will.”
“It’s fine,” Taylor replied. “I just…I didn’t think I’d still…I mean, my feelings. I don’t know what I mean.”
“I think I do, but I won’t press the issue.” That old spark had been clear to Alison as soon she spotted her brother-in-law and his ex-girlfriend standing so awkwardly in his office, but she wouldn’t stick her nose in—yet. “Christa is so looking forward to seeing you, and I’m sure Bryn is, too.”
“I have all of her books,” Taylor relayed. “How is it that she looks as good now as she did ten years ago?”
“Love,” Alison clarified. “When you love and are loved that well, you age to match. She and Chase remind me every day that love in the strongest force in the world.”
“Sometimes I think I’ve forgotten how to love,” Taylor mused.
Alison rested a hand supportively on her shoulder. “Listen, when you’re ready, I’d love to see a picture of your son. If you ever need to talk, I’m always here. Well, except when I’m home.”
“I think…” Taylor fumbled with her words. “I think I was too harsh on Chandler yesterday. I closed myself off and told him not to snoop around in my life. It’s like I was accusing him of firing the gun before he’d even loaded the bullets.”
“Interesting metaphor,” Alison answered wryly. “Look, Chandler’s assertive—we both know that—but he’s got a great heart. Can you imagine him making you uncomfortable, or even hurting you, on purpose? Negative. He puts himself on display and if you check him out, fine. If you move onto the next piece of merchandise, he doesn’t hold it against you.”
“What if I just want to be friends?” Taylor tried to regulate her tone, and her face, but she was already giving too much away.
“Then he’ll respect you. He’ll also plunder your soul with those blue eyes until you change your mind.”
“I’m in over my head, and it’s just day one.”
“This is getting too heavy, too fast,” Alison observed. “Come on.” She smiled at Taylor. “Let me give you the tour.”
Taylor followed along as Alison pointed out shelves full of books, including ones written by her, Bryn, and Susan. It was amazing to think that so much talent could exist in one family, and Taylor was glad to have been a part of it, once upon a time, reveling in a creative, supportive environment. Her parents were amazing, of course, and she missed her father every day, but Chandler’s family life had always seemed almost grand. They shopped for their clothes in town like everyone else, but somehow Taylor felt the Big I Ranch occupied an otherworldly sphere. She chided herself again for losing touch with them over the years, but it’d been too hard, after she broke things off with Chandler, to ever inhabit their realm again. Until now, when she’d stuck a foot firmly back in his orbit, consequences be damned.
“I love the colors you used in here,” Taylor complimented.
Alison glanced up at the walls, covered in shades of taupe, green, and slate. “These are the colors of the ranch,” she expounded. “I wanted it to feel like home.”
She noted the elk antlers, pressed tin stars, and flat smooth stones available for purchase, along with a selection of Western shirts and assorted workwear. Against one wall were shelves of handcrafted, wooden toys. Nearby was an old-fashioned cooler full of soda in glass bottles, and along the back wall rows of Native American pottery and quilts. There was no limit of objects in the store to capture the eye—and the imagination.
“Chandler said you might need me to help you in the store, from time to time.”
Alison smiled agreeably. “I’d like that, if you’re interested.”
“Of course. It looks like a great business.”
She shrugged, self-effacing in her gestures. “This is just my hobby but I hope it’ll be a success.” She smiled warmly at Taylor. “Come with me into the office and I’ll give you a spare key.”
Taylor followed closely, heartened to have been welcomed so quickly back into the fold. Alison treated her like an old, valued friend, almost as though she was family.
“Here we go.” She handed the ring to Taylor. “Big one’s the front door, small one is for the office.”
“Thank you,” she replied. “This really means a lot to me, this chance to work.”
Alison nodded. “How’d you like to see my bunch?” She extended a framed photo toward Taylor.
Her eyes swept over the two small blonde children, their faces wonderfully familiar. “Beautiful kids,” she said. “And you and CJ look so happy.”
“We are,” Alison responded, standing close to Taylor. “There was a time I wanted to marry a cowboy. Then I didn’t. And then I did again.” Taylor watched as she chewed on her lower lip. “There’s no more perfect man for me on planet Earth, and I wake up every day knowing that. And waking up to his beautiful face every morning doesn’t hurt, either.” She shot Taylor a sly grin. “Isn’t he aging well? Seems to get more handsome with each passing year.”
Taylor laughed, unsure of the proper way to reply. “I can’t wait to see Mark and Christa.”
“Chandler has some photos in his office, too, but I’m sure you noticed that already. They’ve got a beautiful set of kids, too.”
“Your parents must be so thrilled.”
“You know it. Speaking of, when we have the grand opening you’ll get to visit with everyone and I’m sure they’ll have plenty of questions for you.” She pulled Taylor into another friendly hug. “I’ll try to keep them from interrogating you. I know you must get more of that than you’d ever want.”
Taylor nodded solemnly. “People don’t know what to say in my situation. Sometimes it’s better if they don’t say anything at all.” Alison replied with an empathetic nod. “Oh! Chandler must think I’ve jumped ship. I’ve gotta get back to work.”
“Good luck,” she emphasized, “and welcome to the company.”
“Thanks,” she said, turning to go. “I may need it.”
She found Chandler seated at his desk, face locked onto the computer screen. “Taylor!” he said, startled out of his dream world. “There’s something I’d like to show you on the computer.” She found a seat close to him and he angled the monitor so she could get a clear view. “The paintings are catalogued in this program. It’s viewable anywhere in the world via the Internet. Anyway, we don’t remove them from the program once they’ve been purchased; we mark them as sold and a chain of provenance begins. It sounds complicated but it’s fairly simple. Even a cowboy like me gets it.” He grinned and she warmed inside. She’d have to get past the subtle effect he had on her if she hoped to work here without…well, never mind. “Any questions?” he asked helpfully.
“I don’t think so,” she said with a firm nod. “It’s like anything else. I’ll have to adjust to it.”
He smiled again. “Did Alison manage to pull you onboard with her mercantile?”
“I’m a believer. I think it’ll be a success.”
“Me too. She was reluctant for the first five minutes, but CJ could sell ice water to the devil.” He met her eyes, found himself unable to look away. “He always was the charmer in the family.”
Taylor cocked her head to one side. “Come on, you could be pretty charming if the need arose.”
“You’ve gotta be able to hide your true intentions in order to charm someone,” he countered, “and I can’t hide anything. Never could.”
Taylor felt her eyes water. “That’s not true. You hid it pretty well…”
“What?” he asked, well aware of what she�
��d referenced.
“When I left you.”
He frowned, his jaw set hard. His eyes betrayed him, maintaining their warmth. “Had to. I had to be okay. We were headed in different directions and I knew it. I couldn’t tie you down. You’d already lost your dad. You needed to break free and spread your wings.”
Taylor stared at the computer screen, not focusing on the images but distracting herself nonetheless. “I used to wonder about what would happen if I ran to you in New York. And I don’t mean it in an impure way—I was happily married—but just…would I go up and introduce myself? Would I recognize you? Would you remember me?”
Yeah, I would have known you anywhere, his mind rejoined. But what he said aloud was, “Water under the bridge. I probably left New York before you arrived. It’s unlikely our paths would have crossed.” He smiled, looked away, and dug in his desk until he found a form. “This’ll be in tomorrow’s paper. Grand opening Saturday. Is that okay for you?”
Taylor nodded, taken aback by the change in conversation, the shift in personality. Chandler was trying excessively hard to hide his feelings, and it wasn’t working. Who was she to judge? She was doing the same damned thing. There was enough unsaid between them to fill a book.
“Saturday would be fine. Will you always need me to work Saturdays?”
He shook his head. “I was thinking I’d only keep the place open five days a week, for now. We’ll see how it goes.” He tapped his fingers nervously on the desk. “Invite your mom, too. I’d love to see her.”
“Of course.” She looked his way, found Chandler deep in thought. “What’s on your mind, cowboy?”
He replied with a short laugh, and trailed his hand over his face, shielding his eyes. “Remember that time we went horseback riding and…”
“Oh, my God,” she said, her face crinkling under the weight of her smile. “We stopped to water the horses, and mine ran away. Nice. Give your girlfriend the most unreliable mount in the entire stable.”
“He’s still alive, you know.”
“Seriously?”
“Swear to God. Little Chase learned to ride on him.”
Taylor slapped a hand over her mouth, laughed through her fingers. Chandler joined in a second later, a wonderful, virile sound that originated deep in his chest. “I needed that,” she announced. “I needed a good laugh.”
“Me too,” he confessed. He held out one hand and she shook it, not wanting to let go when she felt warmth of his palm, the gentle yet firm touch of his fingers. “Ready to get to work?”
“Absolutely,” she replied, defogging her brain in the process. Long after she’d left his office and found her place behind the counter, she felt the heat of his palm on her hand—and if she closed her eyes, just for a second, she could feel it rest over her heart, too.
***
Chandler leaned back in his hair, rested his hands behind his head, and closed his eyes. He drifted back through time to another day, a happier, more naïve era. Alison stuck her head through the door and whistled. His thoughts had been inappropriate for the workplace, even if he was the boss, and he reddened considerably.
“I’m headed home,” Alison mentioned quietly. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” he replied once he’d gotten his bearings. “Just thinking.”
“You wanna talk about it?”
“Sure,” he said wearily. “Taylor’s gone home for the day.”
“You’d like to relight an old flame,” Alison guessed with frightening accuracy.
Chandler cleared his throat. “She’s not ready.”
“And neither are you, honestly.” She walked toward his desk, sat down on the corner closest to him. “What you’re feeling is part nostalgia, part knight in shining armor. Listen, you two were kids when you fell in love, and now you’re adults. You’ve both done a lot of living and you’re not the same. Those emotions are still there but, buddy, they’re far more complex now.”
“And it’s really not fair to distract myself away from the gallery—or your store, for that matter.”
Alison smiled crookedly. “I’m not going to go broke, and neither are you. Don’t worry about me. Focus on yourself for a change—you’ve earned it.”
Chandler sighed. “Have I?”
“Hell yes. After years of being worried about your family, take five minutes for yourself. Christa would tell you the exact same thing, so think of me as sister by proxy.” She extended her finger and pointed it not quite into his chest. “I’ll send CJ down here. He’s better than this man-to-man crap anyway, and he’s been missing you. There’s no one to pick on now.”
Chandler smirked. “Can’t wait.”
She kissed him on the cheek. “Take it easy.” He wished her a goodnight and she was gone, locking up her side of the building and leaving him alone. He stood and stretched, wandered toward the front door and checked that it was bolted. He turned down the lights and locked the outer door of his office so he wouldn’t have to worry with it again for the evening. He resumed his position at the computer and scanned his usual websites before returning to his gallery duties. He yawned loudly and leaned back in the chair.
“I’ll just doze for a few minutes,” he muttered dreamily. He was the only soul there.
“Why would you want to date me?”
His lips curved into an easy smile. “Because you’re just about the best looking thing I’ve ever seen, outside of my Dad’s palomino horse.” She laughed at his apparent jesting.
He grinned playfully, and she responded by sliding her hand around the nape of his neck. “We’ve been friends for a long time. Why would you want to ruin that?”
“Kissing makes everything better.”
She laughed. “I had heard that.”
He gripped her gently at the waist and pulled her into his arms. He brushed her lips softly at first, and as his pulse raced kissed her a little more firmly. She jerked in surprise but didn’t stop him. She melted into his embrace—relaxed, easy, and most importantly, loving. Chandler understood, for the first time, what those intense feelings his siblings had already experienced could produce; that strange sense of ownership over another’s love, possessing their heart as strongly as they possessed yours. It felt simultaneously antiquated and brand new.
Her eyes met his, reflecting back an emotion he was seeing for the very first time. “Yes,” she said quietly.
He dipped his head and shot her a cheerful smile. “Really?”
“Yes, really. I’d like to be your exclusive, personal, one and only girlfriend.”
“Good,” he replied, placing his lips to her forehead. “Because I’d like to be your one and only boyfriend. Just promise you’ll go out on a date with me this weekend.”
She stared at him quizzically. “Time and location?”
“Big I Ranch, Saturday.”
“You want me to come over to your house for a date? Sounds like the wrong way to start a relationship.”
He squeezed her body to his. “Horseback riding, Miss Holt. A gentleman’s pursuit. What kind of cowboy do you think I am?”
“Please accept my apologies, Chandler. I’d love to go riding with you.”
His eyes opened slowly, as he became cognizant that he was no longer a wiry, lanky teenager. The realization hit him hard, and he cursed. Taylor’s homecoming had knocked that confident buckaroo flat on his ass, and hiring her had been a major lapse in judgment.
But he didn’t regret it.
Chapter 5
CJ stuck his head through the apartment door and grinned. “You awake?”
Chandler dragged a shirt over his chest and shook his head. “Nope, I’m sleepwalking. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you later.”
“The funny bone is working overtime, man, and I know what that means.”
He arched an eyebrow at his brother and frowned. “And?”
“And nothing.”
Chandler groaned. “I had a rough night, bro—so cut to the chase, Chase.”
CJ l
aughed. “Sorry, man. It’s been a while and I just wanted to check in with you.” He pursed his lips together in a flimsy smile. “The ranch isn’t the same without you, bud.”
“I can’t get Taylor out of my head. Can’t stop wanting her. Can’t stop needing her.” He massaged some tension from his neck and coughed. “Feels like I’m objectifying her, and I never meant for that to happen.”
CJ yanked off his hat and jacket, hung them up and followed Chandler to the couch. “It sounds normal to me. You loved her way back when—really loved her, and not in the horny teenage way.” He chuckled. “I can tell the difference. Anyway, she’s been through some tough times and you’re all alone, by choice, so why wouldn’t you wanna…” He trailed off, putting his words together judiciously. “You’d like to hold her in your arms and take the pain away, even though in her case it’s just not possible.”
Chandler looked away from his brother, wanted to censure him, but couldn’t find it in his heart to fib. “Maybe she’s back in my life for a reason. I don’t mean that fate or whatever dealt her a bad hand just so I could be happy, but…CJ, what the hell am I trying to say here?” He threw his hands up in frustration.
CJ gripped his shoulder firmly. “Stop worrying so much and let the pieces fall into place. Or as Dad might say, ‘Steady, cowboy, steady’. His advice usually works in any situation.”
“Everything that spills from your mouth these days is the cold hard truth. It’s a world gone mad,” Chandler joked. He struggled to rub the sleep from his eyes. “Can you keep a secret?”
“You can count on me and Mark, always—but my wife, and that sister of ours, can’t hold water. In other words, yeah, spill the beans and I’ll keep them locked up tighter than a drum.”
“I’m worried that this art gallery in this small town was a fool-headed idea, and I’m in up to my neck.”
CJ lifted his brow, scrunched up his entire forehead. “Would Dad have cosigned on a fool-headed idea? I’m thinking hell, no. Besides, you worry too much, always have. That why you’re having trouble sleeping?”
The Art of Love (The Windswept Saga) Page 4
