by Ginna Moran
She leans back on my pillow. “You’re one of the reasons why I stay. Besides you being my best friend, I don’t see a future without you. I owe your dad for saving me.”
I frown. “You don’t owe anyone anything. If you feel like you need to leave, then you should go.”
“No, that’s not what I meant. What I was trying to say was that I’d leave if you weren’t here. I believe in good karma and your friendship means the world to me. You’re like a sister.”
I smile. Alyssa’s right about being like family. We owe it to each other to look out for one another. I wonder what it would be like to live outside the compound without the laws of the council hanging over our heads. I wonder if we’d get to experience real relationships, make more friends, and actually live life.
An image of Hunter crosses my mind.
I was only with the mysterious dream boy for a few minutes, but he left such an impression on me that I’m being haunted by him. My desire to see him again scares me. I know nothing about him, but I want to. That’s my problem. My curiosity is overwhelming. It’s making me careless.
The hairs on my arms rise and I glance at Alyssa on my bed with her eyelids half closed. She’ll fall asleep any second and then I won’t be able to resist her dream. I promised myself I wouldn’t do it to her again, not after how off she seemed this morning. I just can’t.
I jump up and leave her on my bed.
As a nightmare inflictor, it’s nearly impossible for me to wake up someone who is sleeping—not because I can’t, but because I don’t want to.
I race from my room and down the hall to the lobby and out the front door. I touch my boots to the ground as the night air hits my face and I miss a step and land with a thump on the wet grass. I roll to my back and stare up at the bright stars and catch my breath. I can’t deal with temptation tonight. I can’t even deal with being me.
6. TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS
HUNTER
I can’t get Nadia off my mind.
The way she pauses before she speaks, choosing her words carefully. The way her soft voice sounds. The way the white moonlight shines off her pale hair. The way her nose crinkles when she laughs. How vulnerable and guarded she is and how I want to break down her walls. She’s the girl of my dreams, well, I guess, Jacqueline’s dreams.
I hate my uncontrollable feelings. Nadia is off limits—she’s a super. She could never survive in my world.
Despite my upbringing to fear supers like Nadia, I want to get to know her more. I know it’s a horrible idea. I don’t even know what she is except that she can invade dreams, and the HPA would kill her because they’d find the ability detrimental to the human population. But she can see me. I’m desperate enough to put my life in her hands. I might even trust her.
I get up the nerve to talk to Jacqueline. I kept quiet all through dinner because I know she would’ve thrown my presence into the void. I hope she’s still not mad. “We should go explore,” I say.
Jacqueline stares in the mirror and sets her comb down. “We’ll get a tour tomorrow,” she says out loud, taking me by surprise.
“Then how about a night walk? I’m seriously bored.”
She ties her hair back. “Fine, but don’t expect me to make a habit out of complying with your demands.”
“But I’m not demanding anything.”
“Whatever,” she thinks before she stands up and slides her boots on. “Please try not to distract me if we run into someone.”
“I won’t and I’m sorry about earlier.”
“Forget about Nadia, Hunter. You’re from two different worlds and it would never work out. Trust me.”
I don’t need the reminder. “So you’re psychic, too? It’s not like anything can come out of this. I’m in your body, remember?”
“I could never forget.”
Jacqueline pulls her door open and steps into the hall. She hovers in the lobby for a second before exiting.
With the lack of outside lighting, the stars are brighter than I’ve ever seen them. The moon is big and round in the sky and shines enough light that Jacqueline can easily stroll down a path without trouble seeing.
It’s completely silent, and surprisingly, no one other than Jacqueline is out. I expected a few creatures of darkness to be skulking around, but maybe I just made them up in my head. I always assumed that things that go bump in the night were supers. Granted, there aren’t humans running around the compound to stalk anyway.
Jacqueline rounds a building and I hear a soft thud and a moan come from twenty feet away. Jacqueline stops in her tracks and whatever it was is just out of sight, so we can’t get a good view of what happened.
“Afraid of something?” I ask.
Jacqueline sighs in her mind. “No.”
She steps forward and walks toward the sound when I see flowing, blond hair glowing in the moonlight.
It’s Nadia.
She’s lying on her back in the wet grass, staring up at the cloudless sky. She’s wearing a white T-shirt and black athletic pants and sneakers. Her bare arms and hands are bathed in the silver moonlight and she is hauntingly beautiful.
“Stupid steps,” Nadia says. She doesn’t move, but just stares at the sky.
“Jacqueline, you should go help her,” I say.
“Why?”
“Don’t you want to make friends? Won’t it help you to find out the information the board wants?” I only say it because I want Jacqueline to trust Nadia. Nadia can visit me any time if Jacqueline does.
“I guess you’re right.”
Jacqueline strolls over, but Nadia is so deep in her thoughts, she doesn’t even glance at her. Jacqueline bends down and grabs Nadia’s hand. “Here, let me help you,” she says in her most sickly sweet voice.
Nadia jerks her hand away, eyes wide, and before Jacqueline can even take a step back, Nadia screams.
NADIA
The grass rustles next to me and before I can turn my head to see what’s causing the noise, a warm hand grabs me. A rush of energy pulses through me and the taste of tangy orange floods my mouth as I stare into Jacqueline’s eyes.
My heart hammers and my stomach flips. I wasn’t expecting Jacqueline to be outside and she startled me. I can’t get her dream off my mind. The mysterious boy who could see me for who I am. It’s all I thought about through dinner. I shouldn’t have gone into her dreams, but I couldn’t help it. I’m still recuperating from my hunger strike and Alyssa is off limits. I can’t put that strain on our friendship.
I scream and jerk away, crab walking back as far as I can. I breathe heavily. I resist the urge to lash out at her, call her crazy, and run away. I don’t want her to know what I am. I’m not ready yet.
“You scared me!” My voice is shrill and she winces, crossing her arms.
“I’m so sorry. I heard you fall. I was only trying to help,” she says.
My cheeks warm and it takes everything in me not to scowl. “It’s—it’s okay. I didn’t think anyone was out here. People don’t usually venture out this late.”
She steps closer and holds her hand out to me. I try not to flinch as I take her offered hand and let her pull me to my feet. I already sense that she’s still tired and will probably be asleep within the hour. I can almost taste her dreams. I will taste her dreams.
“I needed to clear my head,” she says. Her eyes shift from lavender to hazel and back again.
“Me too.” My heartbeat stabilizes and I force my mouth to smile. I turn and look at the front door to the dorm. “You don’t get a lot of privacy around here.”
Jacqueline plays with a curl that has fallen from her bun and tucks it behind her ear. She shifts her weight from foot to foot and stares past me. Her eyes change again and she subtly shakes her head. If I wasn’t staring at her so intensely, I wouldn’t have noticed it.
After a moment, she blinks rapidly and shrugs. “I’m okay with that. I’m tired of being alone.”
“I don’t think I could ever get tired of that. Whe
n I’m eighteen, I’m getting out of here.” I don’t know why I tell her, but I do, and it’s too late to take it back. I’ve never told anyone my plan, not even Alyssa.
The corner of Jacqueline’s lip curls and she looks away. After another long pause, she says, “You’re better off staying here where you’re safe.”
I raise my eyebrows. “I’m not better off staying somewhere I hate.”
Her eyes shift colors and I think of Hunter. It’s all it takes to keep me from running back into the dorms. Guilt floods through my mind. I should resist my craving to give Jacqueline nightmares. If I back away now, I have a fighting chance at controlling myself.
“Let me walk you back to your room,” I add, instead. You’re doing this to investigate. You just want to figure everything out. It’s not a big deal.
But it is a big deal.
I’m letting my nightmare inflictor side control me. It won’t be long until it takes my humanity too.
HUNTER
Jacqueline is in such a deep sleep and snores so loudly that I almost miss the sound of the door clicking close. The air shifts and I recognize Nadia’s presence. I’m surprised she came back so soon to see me. I’m not complaining though. I’ve been anxious to see her again in the dream world.
“I don’t have long.” Her voice wraps around me and tugs me into Jacqueline’s dream.
Nadia is leaning against the railing of a pier, facing a busy boardwalk. Her shimmering, white hair blows in an imaginary sea breeze and she wears a simple white cotton dress without shoes.
The dull roar of the ocean hums through the dark night and colorful lights illuminate her porcelain skin in rainbow colors. A large Ferris wheel hums as it spins and game stands blare repetitive tunes. It’s a place I’d hang out at if I had my body. I guess Jacqueline’s dreams aren’t always so morbid.
I lean my back on the railing next to her. “You came back.”
She tucks her hair behind her ear and leans her shoulder against mine. “I have a lot of questions, Hunter.”
“Ask me anything.”
Nadia watches a man kiss a woman under the lights of the concession stand sign. The corner of her lip curls up slightly and she tenses as they whisper into each other’s lips. Nadia is more intense in the dream world than she is in real life. I want to tell her it’s okay, but instead I turn to stand in front of her so she has to look into my eyes.
“This is really strange for me,” she says. “This is the longest I’ve been in someone’s dream without turning it into a nightmare. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to stand here and observe.”
“You’re uncomfortable,” I say.
She doesn’t respond to my observation. She reaches out and touches my shoulder and runs her finger down my arm and I hold very still. She drops her hand back to her side. “You feel so real.”
The wind blows around us and strands of her hair fall on her cheek. She doesn’t move to fix them and I wonder what she’d do if I tucked them back behind her ear. If I wasn’t so nervous, I’d do it. I’m too afraid of scaring her away. I’d do anything for her to stay.
I cross my arms over my chest. “It’s because I am real.”
She touches my cheek and I lean into her hand. It’s cool and the first physical sensation I’ve felt since Jacqueline imprisoned me.
“I think it’s because you’re an entity separate from Jacqueline. It’s like you’re doing the same thing I am by manifesting into her dream. I have no affect on you because you’re not the dreamer. My father never told me that it was possible. Maybe he doesn’t know.”
I’m taken by surprise. I don’t know exactly what I expected from Nadia—maybe something closer to an interrogation—but she hasn’t even asked me a single question. She’s working through her thoughts out loud and I let her. Anything to get her to trust me.
“It’s not every day you stumble upon a soul trapped in a monster’s head, huh?”
She winces and I regret my words. Her eyes dart from mine and she watches the crowd behind us. After a few seconds, she meets my gaze again. She narrows her eyes and purses her lips, and fear seizes my chest. She’s still beautiful when angry and I close my eyes expecting her to slap me.
“Do you think I’m a monster?” Her voice is low.
I open my eyes. I should say no, but I lose my words. I fidget and cross and uncross my arms as her eyes pierce into me. I open and close my mouth and then finally say, “I don’t know.”
She lifts her hand to my cheek and brushes her fingers along my jaw line. “Most people lie and say no because they really do think I’m a monster.”
I push my hair off my forehead. “I’m not a liar. I really don’t know the answer to that. What I do know is that you act differently here than you do in the real world.”
She twists her lips and drops her hand back to her side. “It’s because I am different.”
A scream rips through the night and Nadia stares past me. I look over my shoulder and see the crowd start to move and run in panic. The wooden beams quake under my feet and I reflexively clutch Nadia’s arm. She smiles, but it’s not at me. It’s at what’s going on behind me.
“I have to go, Hunter,” she says, sliding past me. I spin with her and she glides back, still facing me.
“Please, stay. You have to stay,” I say. “You never asked me the questions on your mind.” I’m not too good to beg and I consider doing it.
“The nightmare is starting.” She points behind me and I look over my shoulder as a massive wave grows and swells taller than a four-story building. I’m actually a little afraid even though I know this isn’t real, and turn my back on the ocean and watch as Nadia moves closer to the crowd. “I’m sorry, Hunter. I’ll visit again as soon as I can.”
A loud cracking sound rips through the air and part of the boardwalk disintegrates. The glowing Ferris wheel topples over and crashes into the dark ocean. A fire starts at the concession stand and I watch Nadia disappear into the crowd. Each person she touches explodes in a dark cloud of smoke.
I pull away from the dream as the giant tidal wave begins to crest. Jacqueline moans and the world shifts and then it suddenly feels empty. Nadia has disappeared and I’m alone with my own thoughts again. I’m even more miserable knowing what I’m missing when she’s gone.
7. NOT GIVING UP HOPE
HUNTER
Jacqueline taps her fingers on the white painted nightstand. She hasn’t slept since waking up from her nightmare a few hours ago and her random thoughts are annoying. Not to mention how sporadic they are because she can control what I can and can’t hear, which I’m glad for, because I don’t know if I could handle hearing her more than I already do.
Jacqueline’s private thoughts come through to me. “Maybe you should just give up your freedom and settle down here. Everyone seems pretty nice. The board can’t do anything if they can’t find you.”
“Hold on a second, Jackie. The deal was to stay here until you got the information you needed. Don’t go convincing yourself to stay here. If we stay, you can’t put me back into my body,” I say.
She smacks her forehead. I wasn’t supposed to hear that. “But if I stayed here, you could see Nadia all you want. The council can offer me protection for life. I’d never be scared again.”
While she has a good point about Nadia, it would be torturous to know that I won’t have the slightest chance of ever getting to be with her outside of the dream world. “That’ll get creepy after a while. Hell, it’s a little creepy now. What’s the point if I can’t even talk to her?” I say it the way I do so Jacqueline doesn’t realize that I’ve met Nadia. I can’t risk Jacqueline doing something stupid to spite me.
“What if I found you a new one?”
Huh? “A new body?”
“It’s a very simple process. You can pick anyone you like.”
“I like my body.”
The way she says it, it sounds like someone else would have to lose their body and then what? I’m not cool with tha
t. Someone shouldn’t have to die when I have a perfectly good body back home. Jacqueline has caused enough harm as it is.
“Well, Hunter, I’ll think about it, but don’t hold your breath. I like the idea of staying here forever and you can’t do anything about it. I won’t dare go back to the HPA to put you back in your body. They’ll kill me for not holding up my end of the bargain.”
“You can’t do this! You made a deal!” I’m so livid that I want to combust and take Jacqueline down with me. I had hoped that this wouldn’t turn into a long-term situation, but if she really decides to stay here, all hope for me is lost.
“I’m sorry. I really am. I can teach you to free yourself if you want.”
“No!” I’m not going to learn to free myself. I’ll die if I do. I don’t want to die. If Jacqueline really has made up her mind to stay here, then I’ll wait it out a while longer as her prisoner. I’m not giving up hope on getting out of here yet. I’m only seventeen for crying out loud. I really, and I mean really, wanted to live to see my eighteenth birthday. It’s only a few months away.
Jacqueline stands up when someone knocks on the door. I hate how she’s just going about her day like my life isn’t hanging on the line. If I ever get out of her head, I’m going to bring her back to my mom myself and make her plead for her own life.
Jacqueline opens the door and my anger fizzles out when I see Nadia hovering in the doorway. Her hair is darker in the harsh hallway lighting, golden-blond, and her light gray eyes have transformed into a dark indigo color. She looks the same, yet different. More alive and vibrant. More real.
Nadia wears a sky blue, long sleeved T-shirt and light colored jeans with dark gray lace-up boots that stop just before her knees. She twines her pale fingers together, guarded.
“I thought I’d bring you some breakfast and we could eat outside.” She holds up a small paper bag and has a bright pink blanket draped over her arm. She peers over Jacqueline’s shoulder and into the room.
