by Ginna Moran
“I’m here, Hunter,” I say.
“Open your eyes.”
The world shakes and I stumble and fall. Instead of hitting solid ground, the air rushes around me and my stomach drops. I’ve lost control of my dream and I can’t stop free falling. I scream a long, loud wail and flail my hands out searching for anything to grab on to.
I scream again.
A hand grips my arm and the world freezes.
I open my eyes and gasp. I’m awake and still in the front seat of the car. The cityscape is in front of us and we’re almost home. My shoulder is on fire and I struggle to touch the spot it hurts the most.
“Don’t, Nadia. A knife is in your shoulder blade. I was too scared to pull it out. It’s bleeding enough as it is,” Alyssa says.
I frown and swivel in my seat. “Jacqueline?” I ask. My memories come rushing back to me and I remember the agent stabbing her and her sliding to the ground covered in blood. I remember the grief I felt—the intense, heart-wrenching, utterly hopeless feeling when I thought she was dead. And I remember the surprise and relief when I discovered she body jumped. I remember she chose to stay. She’s not running from her fears anymore. She’s facing them head on and I know she won’t be a victim anymore. Jacqueline is stronger than that.
Alyssa squeezes my leg. “She’s gone, Nadia. I don’t understand how, but it wasn’t supposed to happen. You were the one who was supposed to die by the hand of a black-haired agent. I saw it minutes before I found you. I was running to help Jacqueline and found you instead. What happened?”
My chest tightens and I climb between the seats until I’m in the back with Jacqueline’s body. I know she’s not there but I can’t help kneeling on the floor next to her. I brush her hair from her face. I sling my arms around her neck and pull her against me. Tears spill from my eyes and I sob. My chest heaves and I struggle to breathe.
It’s hitting me hard. Jacqueline and Hunter are gone and I probably won’t ever see them again. My heart aches because things can’t be different. I wish I could’ve waited at Hunter’s bedside to watch him wake up, to see him in the real world, to know what it’s like outside a dream.
“Jacqueline’s decision to save me changed the outcome of your vision, but she’s not dead. She took over the agent’s body who attempted to kill her. It all happened so fast and I didn’t have time to talk to her about it. She also decided to stay.”
Alyssa taps her fingers on the steering wheel. “Why did you bring her body?”
“Jacqueline asked me to.”
“What are we going to tell the council?”
“That she died. I don’t think she wants anyone to know what she’s done.”
Alyssa glances at me in the rearview mirror. “Okay. Her secret is safe with us. I know we’ll never tell.”
I’ll be forever grateful for what Jacqueline did. I will not remember her as being the girl who held Hunter captive. I’ll remember her as the girl who saved me. The girl who was willing to die so I could live.
HUNTER
A knock resonates on the door, but I don’t get up to answer it and I don’t say it’s okay for them to bother me. Instead, I sit at the edge of my bed and stare at the white tile floor. Mason left an hour ago and I’m not sure if I’ll see him again.
The door creaks open and my mom saunters in. Her black heels tap the tiles and she shuts the door behind her. She’s wearing a black skirt and burgundy button-up top with a white lab coat over it. Her gold-framed glasses are pushed on top her head and she wears her straight, shoulder-length hair down.
Her eyes, the same hazel color as mine, shine with tears and she holds her arms open to me. “I’m so relieved to see you.”
I shift my legs and turn to face the wall. “Are you, Dr. Sullivan?” She never liked being called anything but Mom, but I refuse to give her that joy. No mother should be okay with giving their kid to some soul eater in exchange for a little information. This woman, who may have given birth to me and took care of me, is not my mother anymore. She’s no one to me.
“You’re upset,” she says.
I stand up and turn to her. “I’m pissed!” I step closer and glare down at her. I dig my fingernails into the palms of my hand and imagine what it would feel like to punch the fake concern off her face.
“You have to understand, Hunter. I did it for the greater good. Sacrifices had to be made. You’ll understand one day. You’ll see and then you’ll forgive me.” She wraps her arms around me and I shrug out of them.
I step back and glower. “You’re delusional and twisted. This isn’t the greater good, you know. I’ve seen what good is and it’s not this.”
She gasps and swings out her arm, slapping me across the face. I touch my stinging cheek and glare. I can’t reason with her. I can’t reason with anyone here. They really believe they are doing good in the world. What they don’t see is that they’re ruining the lives of people just because they don’t understand. Supers aren’t innately evil. But I’m starting to think my mom is.
She widens her eyes and brings her hand to her mouth. “I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean that. You’ve been through some traumatic things. You need rest. It’ll all make sense soon enough.”
Nothing I say can change her view of the world, but I won’t stop trying. I’m not going to waste my second chance just going with the flow of things. I’m going to make a difference and I will be heard and taken seriously. I refuse to stand here and accept that I can’t change anything because I can. And I will.
Another knock sounds out on the door and an agent peeks in. Her jet black hair is a mess and blood is smeared on her face. “Dr. Agatha said I should let you know that I injured one of the intruders.”
I swallow and fist my hands. I meet the agent’s violet eyes. “What did she look like?”
My mom turns toward the agent. “Don’t answer that, Agent Camille.”
The agent presses her lips together. “Would you mind signing off on the report? I can’t leave until you do.”
My mom nods and steps into the hall. The agent hovers in the doorway and watches my mom walk away. I can hear her heels tap down the corridor. The agent slips in my room and shuts the door behind her.
I raise my eyebrows. “I’m not up for company. Forget about my question. I don’t want to know.”
She smiles. “Oh, shut up, Hunter. You know you want to know.”
I frown. “Do I know you?”
She struts forward and bends down to whisper into my ear. “Forget me already? It’s only been a few hours.”
I can’t believe it. A chill runs down my spine and I jump to my feet and put distance between us. Jacqueline somehow managed to body jump into an agent. My chest tightens and my palms sweat. I really didn’t plan on seeing Jacqueline again, even if it’s not in the body I’ve become so familiar with.
Her smile falters and she crosses her arms. “I’m not going to hurt you, Hunter. Some new opportunities came up and I took them. Can I trust you to keep my secret? You know as well as I do that there needs to be some changes around here.”
“What happened to the soul?”
“She’s gone. She fatally wounded my body. I did what I had to.”
I nod. I understand how Jacqueline works and thinks. Arguing with her won’t amount to anything and the past can’t be changed, but the future can, and she can help.
“Nadia?” The sound of her name as I say it brings back all my memories of the girl who fought for me, who made sure I’d get to be whole again. I’m anxious about what Jacqueline is about to say. What if she were hurt? I couldn’t stand knowing it and not being with her.
“She’s alive and she made it out of here.”
I release a breath. “We have to change the world. We have to do it for all of us.”
I will do it for every person I saw through Jacqueline’s eyes. I will do it so Jacqueline won’t have to steal another body. I’ll do it so Nadia can live without fear. I’ll do it for myself, so I can be with the one I
will always dream of. We can’t only be destined for dreams.
Being taken from my body has changed me. It made me see that the world isn’t black and white or good and evil. It’s full of color and life and dreams. Through meeting Nadia, I now have hope. Hope for a future. Hope for change. And through her, hope for me.
NADIA
I don’t flinch when the elf slides the knife from my shoulder. He hands it to Alyssa and she wraps it in a dark blue hand towel. The elf presses a wet towel to my wound and I stare at the blood under my fingernails.
“Jacqueline deserves a proper burial. I don’t want the council to touch her body. People should know she existed. They should remember her,” I say. Alyssa and I agreed to tell no one about Jacqueline. Anyone who knew her will think she’s dead. She really does get a fresh start—a second chance. She won’t have to worry about the consequences from the council.
Alyssa sets the bloody towel down. “Your dad can make the arrangements. Cian said the council notified him we were missing and Cian was the first person your dad called.”
I wince when the elf starts stitching my wound.
“Can we stay here until he comes home?” Tears blur my vision when I imagine the disappointment I’ll see in my father’s face. He won’t understand.
“I’m sure he’ll want us to. It’s better if he’s here before we go in front of the council.”
I don’t even know how I’m going to explain myself to the council. I’ll have to tell them about Hunter. They won’t understand. They’ll think Jacqueline died because I wanted to save a human with ties to the HPA. I’m a traitor and they don’t take kindly to traitors.
“It’s bad, isn’t it?”
Alyssa touches my blood soaked jeans. “It’ll be okay. They don’t have to know everything. Hunter was an innocent human. They’ll see that.”
The elf hands me a shirt and quietly gets up and leaves the apartment. I slip the shirt over my head. It hurts to lift my arm, but I do it anyway without asking for help. It makes me feel better, alive, because I can feel pain.
“They’re going to make me feel like a monster. She should’ve just come with us.”
I wipe my eyes again. Thinking about Jacqueline makes me think about Hunter. I hope he’s happy to be back in his body. I hope he can move on and live again. I hope he gets the best of what life has to offer.
Alyssa leans over and hugs me. “We won’t forget her. Don’t feel guilty. Everything happens how it’s supposed to.”
I pull away and tuck my hair behind my ear. “I know, Lys, and I’m sure I’ll be okay. Guilt is good for me. It keeps me human.”
“Acceptance and love and bravery also make you human. Knowing how you impact others, too. Life is complicated and mysterious like that. It keeps you grounded.”
Alyssa’s right about that. Hunter and Jacqueline have changed my life. I’m no longer afraid of who I am. It’s okay for me to be different and it’s okay for me to embrace even my darkest side as long as I know how it affects my life and those around me.
I’ll never forget the girl with the dark, curly hair and lavender eyes. She showed me how lonely life is when you shut everyone out like I was doing. I’ll be forever grateful to Jacqueline for saving my life and for bringing Hunter to me.
I’ll always think about the boy who taught me to be brave. He showed me how strong I am and how I can live in this scary world. He showed me that it’s okay to be who I am and that I’m strong enough to live outside of dreams. He will always be a part of me.
I lift my gaze to look at my best friend. “I don’t know what I’d have done without you.”
“You’ll never have to know because we’re in this together.” Everything feels so normal despite the throb in my shoulder and Jacqueline’s body in the car. Not to mention I’ll have to face the council about everything.
Maybe this is my normal.
After all, I am a nightmare inflictor.
But more than that, I am a good person, a good friend, and in the end, nothing else really matters to me.
EPILOGUE
HUNTER
I stare at the ceiling of my new bedroom and imagine what it would be like to project myself out of it. I’ve been trying to do it for the last hour, but nothing has come from it. I did fall asleep for a minute, but the annoying neighbor mowing his lawn before the sun has risen startled me awake.
I sit up and swing my legs off my bed. It’s been two weeks and I still haven’t bothered to unpack my boxes. I decided to move in with my aunt the moment I stepped in my old bedroom and realized I didn’t want to be under the same roof as the woman who thought it was acceptable to trade my soul. I don’t think I can ever forgive Dr. Sullivan. I can’t even think about calling her Mom without it getting under my skin.
Someone knocks on my window and I sit up. I pull the blinds open and Jacqueline smiles at me. It’s hard to get over the weirdness of her being in a different body, but I’m getting used to it.
I open the window.
“Guess who has been assigned to keep tabs on you? Your mother thinks you’re keeping secrets from her.” Jacqueline pops the screen off. Her black hair is tied neatly in a bun and she’s wearing a standard agent uniform—black boots, pants, and a black shirt, and a weaponry belt with a knife, taser, and tranquilizer gun. Her eyes look more blue than purple and she’s maybe twenty years old. The board starts young.
Camille, the original agent, was part of the Special Abilities Task Force, and that’s why Jacqueline’s been assigned to me. She can determine if I’m hanging with supers behind the board’s back. She is also the only agent who saw the girls who got away.
I cross my arms. “Are you kidding me? I think you just can’t stay away from me.”
“Oh, shut up, Hunter. Would you rather I call someone else?”
I grin. “You’re making me nostalgic, Jac—Camille. I wonder what—” I snap my mouth shut.
Everything and everyone reminds me of Nadia. I dream of her sometimes. I wake up hoping she’s sitting on the edge of my bed, like she’s been searching for me and finally found me. But I’m always alone. I’m always without her.
Jacqueline blinks back a few tears. “I have an idea. Come on, let’s go for a drive.”
NADIA
I shade my eyes from the blinding sunlight. It warms my bare legs and I run my toes over the thick green grass. I watch my father and Alyssa smile at each other through the bay window of the kitchen.
It’s strange having such privacy, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything now. Our large backyard is protected by six feet tall cement block walls, as well as spelled talismans created by the craftiest elf my father knows.
I can hear the phone ring from out here. It’s hard getting used to how quiet it is being away from the compound, but I’m not complaining. I like it—prefer it.
“Nadi?”
My father waves at me through the window and I pad across the grass and to the back door that leads to the kitchen. The scent of citrus and sugar wafts through the air and Alyssa holds up a frosting covered spatula in my direction.
“What’s up?” I ask.
My father shifts away from the counter and meets my gaze. “That was Mr. Soto. The council has made a decision.”
My heart drops. It’s taken them weeks to decide what my punishment would be for forcing Jacqueline to release Hunter. As far as they know, Hunter was an ordinary human and Jacqueline’s death resulted from unforeseen circumstances, but I also have to answer for breaking about ten other rules. I could be in serious trouble.
I blow a puff of air through my lips. “It’s bad?”
His expression doesn’t give anything away. “You can say that.”
“Just tell me.”
My father touches my shoulder. “You’ve been marked an outcast and exiled from the council and its community. You will no longer get protection, funding, or help from anyone in relation to them. You are technically on your own and cannot access any of their safe havens or resources
.”
My mouth drops open. “And Alyssa?”
Alyssa’s eyes glaze over and she drops the spatula she’s holding. “That’s not fair. I helped Nadia do this. I deserve the same punishment.”
My father shrugs. “They believe you wouldn’t have done anything if Nadia hadn’t influenced you.”
“But—”
I wave my hand and cut Alyssa off. “I’m okay, Lys. It’s okay.” I turn back to my father and meet his gaze. “What about you?”
He hugs me. “I’m indebted to serve them, Nadia.”
I frown. “I don’t understand. How can they banish me and make you work for them?”
“It was part of the deal. They wanted your freedom so I traded it for mine.” He kisses my head. “It doesn’t change anything between us. I’m still your father and I’ll still look after you.”
“Unless they send you away,” I say. “What if something happens to you? I can’t live with that.”
“Yes, they can send me away, but they already do now,” he says.
“Dmitri can take care of himself, Nadia,” Alyssa says. “And we can take care of ourselves. Look at us. Look at this place. We’re safe here and don’t need the council. They’re the ones who need us. They’ll see.”
She’s right. I have everything I need and don’t need to rely on people who are afraid of me and who make me feel like a monster. I just wish they didn’t trap my father into doing their dirty work. He deserves freedom as much as I do.
“You can both laugh in their faces when they do,” my father says.
The doorbell rings and I startle. It’ll take time getting used to everything—the new house, my new freedom, my new life. My father smiles and nudges me to answer it. I stroll through the kitchen door to our quaint living room. Living away from the sanctuary of the compound has made me more courageous. I’m no longer terrified of who I’ll bump into or who will come knocking on my door. My fear was my worst enemy and it doesn’t have the same hold on me that it used to.
