Redeem

by Janice M. Whiteaker

  “Do you think my boyfriend likes zania?” Liza jumped off the cart as Beth came to a stop in front of the pasta, making the wheels bounce a little.

  Beth looked at her youngest. “I have no idea.” Crap. What if he didn’t like lasagna? Did someone as fit as Don even eat shit like lasagna?

  Beth stood up straight as an awful realization hit her. Like a Mac truck was on the loose in the grocery store, plowing down unsuspecting victims. All this time she’d spent drooling over Don and his physical perfection. Then she found out he was not only an impeccable physical specimen, but also a kind, caring, patient and thoughtful human being, and it made her drool a little more.

  And now, it would appear he might have at least a little of the same interest in her. But…

  She looked down.

  Mommy tummy.

  And it had nothing to do with lasagna and everything to do with the two little girls he thought were so hilarious. Don might not find them as funny when he sees the mess of stretch marks they left on her once firm and perfectly sculpted abdomen.

  If he sees.

  Holy crap she was already mentally making plans to see him naked. That was a lie. She’d always made plans to see him naked. She just never thought they would potentially be put into action.

  “Okay.” She clapped her hands, hoping to drag her mind out of the gutter and away from her pregnancy scarred body. “Lasagna noodles.”

  Kate pulled two boxes off the shelf and set them in the basket. “I got two so we can make it again.”

  “You are a genius.” Beth pulled two additional jars of tomato sauce off the shelf next to the noodle section. “Let’s make two trays and freeze one for later.” She held one hand up for each girl to slap her a high-five. “We are rocking this cooking thing.”

  “Let’s make a cheesy cake like we get at the spaghetti place to go with our zania!” Liza slapped her hand again in another high-five.

  “Um. Cheesecake might be outside of mommy’s current cooking abilities.” Far outside. “But we can bake cookies.”

  “Can we put peanut butter chips in them this time?”

  Beth looked at Liza. “You are a cooking genius too.” She swung the cart to head back to the baking aisle. “Peanut butter chips sound awesome.”

  It took another thirty minutes to make it through the bread row and the produce section, but by the time they left, Beth had everything she needed for their meals next week and the making for what should be a pretty decent dinner for Liza’s boyfriend.

  Or as she preferred to call him, the man who kissed her silly last night.

  No, there was nothing silly about the way Don kissed her, but if she continued to think about the feel of his mouth on hers she would probably crash the car and that wasn’t an option.

  She had plans tonight. Plans that might include more kissing.

  “Okay.” Beth looked up in the rearview mirror. “When we get home, I need you guys to pick up all your stuff from downstairs and take it to your room so Mister Don doesn’t think we live in squalor.”

  “Are we gonna have to clean as much as last time?” Liza flopped to one side as far as the chest straps on her car seat would allow. “It’s so boring.”

  “Yes it is and yes we are.” Last Sunday was a mad dash to the finish to get the house tidied up and herself in a presentable way. After being caught in mismatched pajamas, no make-up and a day-old bun wad, wielding a shovel and a bag of cookies it was imperative that she looked as good as possible.

  And it might have worked.

  They got home in time to eat a quick lunch and get to work. Don was set to show up for dinner at six leaving her plenty of time to get everything done. Maybe even without rushing.

  The girls finished their sandwiches and ran off to pick up the toys and empty snack bowls and random socks strewn all over the living room while Beth got to work cleaning up the kitchen. She collected lunch dishes and wiped down the table as her blue-tooth speaker played in the background.

  Tonight was going to be the best night she’d had in a very long time.

  ****

  Don yanked his foot off the gas and squinted at the rapidly darkening field. It was hard to see exactly what he caught out of the corner of his eye. There weren’t too many animals wandering around in weather this cold. Stopping the car to get a better look, Don rolled down his window just in case it was a smudge of road salt that looked like a person walking across the farm grounds behind Beth’s house.

  His stomach dropped and his foot hit the gas as he spun the wheel, turning his sedan onto the access road that ran through the property. Gravel bounced off the undercarriage as he raced down the narrow path hoping to get to the tiny figure moving rapidly over the frozen ground before anything terrible happened.

  Liza looked up as his car barreled in her direction. The tires skidded to a stop and Don leapt from the car, his mind racing with all the reasons she could be out walking alone. “Are you okay?”

  He ran to her side, dropping to one knee and grabbing her arms, his eyes scanning her for injuries. She was bundled up from head to toe, coat, hat, gloves, boots, and didn’t appear to be hurt.

  Or upset.

  “Liza honey, what are you doing?” His breath was ragged with panic and the short distance the pond forced him to run between his car and Liza.

  She swung the dim flashlight in her pink gloved hand toward the frozen pond. “I just wanted to make sure the fish were all okay.”

  Don wasn’t sure if he wanted to hug her or throttle her. “The fish are just fine I promise. I’ll bring you out here when it warms up and we can look at them together. Okay?”

  She bounced a little and gave him a big smile before licking at the tiny bit of snot peeking from her nose. “Okay.”

  “Let’s go see how your mama is.” Don stood up and started walking the decent clip back to his car. He barely made it two steps before a small fuzzy gloved hand fit into his.

  “She’s pissed.”

  He looked down at Liza a little surprised, but decided not to question her word choice. “Why is that?”

  Liza shrugged. “I dunno. She was on the phone talking to Junior’s mom and she said it was all going to shit.” Liza looked up at him. “Did you know shit’s a bad word?”

  “I did and we should probably hurry up before we freeze out here.” Don helped Liza to the car, letting her sit in the front since the house was within sight. The only Junior he knew was Autumn and Jerry’s oldest son. He tried not to imagine exactly what Beth meant was going to shit.

  It took longer to get back up the gravel road than it did to finish the last few yards to Beth’s house. Liza elaborated on her love of fish as he stared straight ahead, worrying despite his intentions. Was Beth regretting asking him over for dinner?

  “I know people eat them, but that’s gross.” Liza reached for her door handle, grabbing around the unfamiliar door, trying to find it. “How do I get out of here?”

  “Hang on.” Don jumped out and jogged around the car to open the door. Liza jumped out and ran for the porch. “Come on. We made zania.”

  Don trailed behind her, nervous about what was waiting on the other side of the farmhouse’s door. He hadn’t meant to put himself on the line like he did last night, but hearing about the lengths Beth was willing to go to for that little boy?

  It made him think stupid things weren’t sounding so stupid anymore.

  Liza shoved open the door before he reached the porch. An ear piercing screech filled the frigid night air. The little girl clamped her hands over her ears and turned to Don, her eyes wide. “What is that?”

  “Shit.” Don took off at a full run for the second time this evening, sprinting into the smoky smelling house.

  “Beth?” He kept running into the empty kitchen, discovering the source of the smoke.

  Thin, foggy grey lines rose steadily from the oven. At least the house wasn’t on fire so that particular catastrophe could wait. He listened for any sounds besides Liza as she stom
ped the snow off her boots in the front room. “Kate?”

  That’s when he saw the back door was open. Don pushed through the thin storm door separating the house from the below zero winter air and rushed onto the deck. “Beth!” His voice echoed across the field.

  So did Beth’s. “Don.” The relief he heard in the way she said his name was enough to squash the lingering doubts her reported phone call with Autumn gave him about being here.

  “I can’t find Liza.” She came running from the field into the back yard, no coat, no hat, no gloves with a well-insulated Kate on her heels.

  The panic on her face squeezed his chest. Her eyes were wild and her face pale except for the bright pink of cold coloring her cheeks. A mother in agony worried about her child’s safety.

  “I don’t know what happened. One minute she was there and then—”

  Don caught Beth against his chest as her left boot hung up in one of the snow piles stacked around the yard, throwing her off balance and straight at him. He held her tightly. “It’s okay. She’s inside.”

  Beth sagged against him immediately. “Oh thank God.” Just as quickly her body straightened to lean around him and look at the house. “What is that noise?”

  “It’s the smoke alarms. It looks like whatever you had in the oven is done.” He held out his hand to Kate, helping her over the snow hill that tripped Beth up.

  Beth bit into her bottom lip as her eyes blinked furiously. He wrapped his free arm around her. “Let’s go shut off those alarms and open some windows. Then we can assess the dinner damage.”

  “I’m sure it’s ruined.” Beth’s voice just barely quivered as she turned her head away from him to wipe at her eyes with her shirt sleeve.

  “You said the same thing about the cookies and they were good.” He rubbed his thumb against her shoulder hoping to provide the only comfort he could with her daughter clinging to his other hand. “Better than good actually.”

  Liza met them at the back door, her hands still over her ears. “Make it stop.”

  Don grabbed a chair from the table, spun it around and stepped up to snap the battery out of the screaming kitchen smoke detector. The sound of another one carried in from the front room, but it could wait.

  Don opened the oven and a puff of smoke billowed into the room. He coughed and his eyes watered as he grabbed a kitchen towel to fan the air around the open oven. “Can you girls open some windows?”

  Beth propped open the back storm door then slid open the kitchen window beside the table. A frigid breeze moved through the house, taking a bit of the murky air with it, making it easier to breathe and easier to see just what happened inside the oven.

  Using the towel, Don pulled a disposable aluminum tray from the oven and set it on the cook top. “This is your culprit.” Reaching back in, he pulled the glass casserole dish from the oven and set it beside its smaller, slightly overfilled partner.

  The girls joined him beside the stove, all four of them staring at the lasagna pans.

  “It looks fine.” Beth cracked the oven and peeked in. “Where in the world did all that smoke come from?”

  Don pointed to the lasagna in the disposable tray. “I think that one bubbled over.” Lifting it gently with the towel, he held up the tray to show Beth the drip lines down the sides.

  “Mommy can we turn that other screamer off?” Liza pointed toward the living room. “It’s making my brain hurt.”

  Beth punched at the buttons on the oven, turning it off. “You make my head hurt.” Before he could even move, she grabbed the chair he’d used to turn off the first alarm and carried it to the living room. “You cannot run off like that Li.”

  Don followed her to the living room, snagging the chair from her hands and using it to pull the battery from the other alarm as Beth looked up at him. Her hair was in soft, mismatched waves around her perfectly make-up free face.

  “I should never have put those back in.” Beth huffed and turned toward the living room. Toys and snow boots littered the floor. A pile of pink and purple building blocks sat in the middle of a group of naked Barbie’s on the coffee table. She threw her hands up. “I don’t even know what happened.”

  Don climbed off the chair, tucking the battery into his back pocket beside the one he snagged from the kitchen. “What happened is you have kids.”

  “I’m pretty sure that’s not a good excuse.” She began collecting the dolls from the coffee table. “Pretty much every other mother I know has it way more together than I do.”

  “Hey ladies.” Don peeked his head into the kitchen where the girls were sitting at the table with another of their piles, playing. Two sets of brown eyes were immediately on him. “Why don’t you girls pick up your toys and put them away while your momma and I finish dinner?”

  “Okay.” The sisters didn’t look thrilled as they collected the toys from the kitchen table and made their first trip upstairs. But they went without a single complaint.

  Out loud anyway.

  While the girls were upstairs, Don gently took the nudist dolls from Beth’s hands and set them back on the table. “Thank you for making dinner.” He clasped his hands around hers as she looked up at him. The memory of her soft feminine body pressed so perfectly against his yesterday when he had his first real taste of her mouth made him want to do more than simply remember it. And he would have if not for the two sets of footsteps coming back down the stairs. “And thank you for the cake.”

  He dropped her hands and stepped away as the girls came into view. This was a situation he’d never been in before and it left him unsure how to handle it. Did the girls suspect something was up or did they assume he was simply here to visit?

  Was he simply here to visit?

  Beth looped her fingers back in his as she passed him on her way to the kitchen. “I believe you promised we would be finishing dinner.” She looked up at him with a little smile. “Once you promise them food, you’re on the clock.”

  The rest of the evening felt strange, but in the best possible way. Any cooking he’d done was always alone, like much of his eating. He’d imagined what it would be like to have a family and a wife someday, but it’d been more than a little while since he’d realized that wasn’t in the hand he’d been dealt.

  But with Beth moving around him, touching him softly on nearly every pass and the chattering of her two girls as they ate their ‘zania’ he couldn’t help but think maybe he was wrong.

  Maybe all those years he fought tooth and nail trying to make any woman fall in love with him, it was because he just wasn’t ready for the one who would need him as much as he needed her.

  ****

  “They are both passed out.” Beth whispered softly in his ear as she pointed to the matching couch across the coffee table from them. “I think expedition frozen pond wore everybody out.”

  He chuckled. “I can imagine.”

  Beth’s hand drug softly down his thigh as she got up from the couch. “I’m going to take them up to bed.” She nodded to the bookshelf beside the television playing Beauty and the Beast. “You can put a different movie in if you want.”

  Don stood up as Beth heaved Liza’s dead weight up from the overstuffed sofa, groaning with the added weight. “I can carry Kate if that would be okay.”

  Beth rubbed her lips together softly, reminding him of how smooth they felt against his. She nodded. “That would be great.” She looked down at an angelic looking Kate. “Just be careful. She’s a sleep puncher.”

  Don already had his arms tucked under the seven-year-old and was slowly lifting her up. “A sleep what-er?”

  As he rolled her into his chest, trying to get a better grip on her surprisingly heavy body, Kate’s right arm came out of nowhere, her small but surprisingly mighty fist landing squarely on his cheekbone.

  “Shit.” Beth lost her grip on Liza and scrambled to get her dangling limbs under control. “Are you okay? I am so sorry.” Her eyes were glued to the spot Kate hit him as she stepped closer. “Oh
God it’s already bruising.”

  “I’m fine.” Don stepped toward the stairs. “I’ve been hit by bigger guys.” He gave her a grin as he started up the steps, hoping to make her feel better.

  It didn’t appear to work.

  Beth followed behind him, carrying Liza, her face tight. At the top of the stairs, he turned for directions, but the stuffed animals leaking from the door on his left was a dead giveaway.

  Stepping carefully so he didn’t decapitate any dolls or destroy any block buildings, Don picked his way through the room of two well-loved, well-cared-for girls who had everything they could ever need or hope for. Laying the one in his arms on the bed marked by a large ‘K’ hanging on the wall over the headboard, he pulled the soft quilt covering the bed over her, tucking it under her chin.

  When he rose, Beth was beside Liza’s bed, watching him intently. Her younger daughter was sprawled across the twin mattress, one leg hanging over the side and half the blanket already thrown off her body.

  “You should ice that cheek.”

  He brought his fingers to the already hot feeling spot where Kate caught him. “That is probably a good idea.”

  He followed Beth back downstairs and into the dark kitchen, their abandoned dinner dishes still scattered across the counter. She quietly fished a bag from a drawer and filled it a quarter of the way with ice from the freezer then held it under the faucet and twisted the handle. Nothing happened.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.” She twisted the hot water knob. Nothing. Her hands rested on the sides of the sink and she leaned forward. “It would seem my pipes are frozen.”

  THIRTEEN

  Don stepped beside Beth at the sink and turned each knob back on, opening up the water lines. He rested his hand against her back as she took deep breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth. The only thing that could make this train wreck of a night better would be to break down in tears.