by Em Petrova
“No.” Carissa gave a hard shake of her head. “You’re not going outside. Not without me.”
They exchanged a look, and at least they had one thing in common—neither wanted Carissa interfering.
She crossed her arms too. So fucking adorable and sassy that Roades had an urge to abandon the whole fight and carry her back to the bedroom.
He jerked his jaw toward the door. Hernan turned and walked out, and Roades followed. Carissa ran to the door, but he looked into her eyes and said, “I promise nothing will happen.”
Even if the kid pulled a gun on him, Roades knew how to disarm a man. Hernan might be fully grown but he was no match against Roades.
He quietly closed the door but heard a thump of Carissa hitting the wood on the other side, her ear probably plastered against it. At least she was taking his order to stay inside. If that had been one of his sisters, they’d still be arguing.
“So I hear you’ve found some free enterprise,” Roades drawled out to Hernan.
He rubbed a knuckle over his lip. “I’m no longer fourteen and your words of advice no longer matter to me.”
He gave a nod. “That may be so, but I’m still going to try. For Carissa, you understand. Because I love her too.”
Hernan continued to stare at him. “She needs to keep her nose out of my business before she gets hurt.”
Now threats are a whole other story.
Roades stepped up to the kid. “You will not hurt one hair on your sister’s head or have one of your criminal friends do the job. Or you have me to answer to. Understand?”
He snorted. “Like you took care of those guys in the alley. You think you’re hurting me, but they mean nothing. They’re just stupid kids out to get some cash in their pockets.”
“I get it—you’re ruthless and untouchable. A big man in this ruined city. But you’re not invincible, Hernan. You’ll meet your end one day, probably at the hands of somebody you underestimated. Then you’ll leave Carissa to deal with the aftermath of collecting and burying your body. Tell me you don’t care about that.”
“You don’t know me.”
Roades grunted. “No, but I know your type. I eat your type for breakfast and spit out the bones, little brother. Now listen well. You’re going to quit what you’re doing, get out of the trading business and find yourself a decent job cleaning up the streets and ruined buildings. No more of this forcing people to pay you for water or food. Got it?”
Hernan laughed.
Roades moved a step closer, using his size to intimidate. “How will you prove to me you’re going to quit?”
“Man, it’s not all about the money,” Hernan scoffed.
“Ah. It’s the power. And you used that same power to threaten your sister, didn’t you?” His words brought on his own fury, and Roades grabbed Hernan by the shirt front and yanked him in so they were face-to-face. “If you ever fucking threaten her again, I swear to God—”
“Roades, stop!” Carissa’s voice rang out, and he realized she’d exited the back of the house and circled to them.
Roades’ hands were shaking. If he held onto Hernan another five heartbeats, he couldn’t be held accountable for beating him to a pulp. He shoved him away, disgusted and angry that he couldn’t do what he wanted to the man.
“Get the fuck outta here before I change my mind about wiping that smug look off your face,” he barked.
Hernan threw his sister a look and then vanished into the darkness.
Roades pinched the bridge of his nose, battling to remain in place and not storm after the motherfucker. This hadn’t gone the way he hoped—at all. Deep down, he’d known Hernan wouldn’t just listen to reason and stop. He was beyond that, but Roades had to try for Carissa’s sake. Now he knew Hernan was beyond repair and hope.
Carissa drifted across the grass. “Why did you just let him go?” Her words came out as a whisper.
He dropped his hand and raised his gaze to hers. “For you,” he said hoarsely. “To show you what you mean to me and that I’m not the asshole you think I am, incapable of mercy.”
A sound broke from her that touched him deep. Then she launched herself into his arms. He caught her against his chest, the softness of her breasts calling to a primal side of him.
She threaded her fingers into his hair. “I’m sorry, Roades.”
He leaned in until their foreheads touched. Looking into her glittering dark eyes was the only thing he wanted for the rest of his life. Even now, five years later she was all he could ever dream of having.
“Sorry for what?”
“For believing you don’t still have a bit of the man I knew inside you.” She went on tiptoe and kissed him. The brush of her lips sweet torture. He stopped breathing for long seconds and when he dragged in a deep breath, her scent overwhelmed him and he lost all grip on his control.
He yanked her against him, body flush. She hooked an ankle around his back, bringing her pussy up against the bulge growing in his pants. They shared a quiet groan and he fumbled a hand under her top to cup the heavy weight of her breast. Plunging his tongue into her mouth, stroking the fires by clamping his fingertips on her hardened nipple.
She yanked at his waist, finding his belt and managing to unbuckle it and the button of his cargo pants before reality set in. They were standing outside and any neighbors could see them clearly under the light of the moon.
He tore from the kiss, staring down at her beautiful face. “One more time,” he rasped out.
“One more time,” she agreed.
He lifted her and turned for the house with her in his arms, already feeling the ache of letting her go once the night was through.
Chapter Eight
In the tenseness of Roades’ muscles, Carissa felt him holding back. Restraining himself, but why?
“You can’t be too rough with me. I won’t break,” she said between their biting kisses.
He issued a growl but instead of letting go as she’d suggested, he lightened the pressure of his lips.
She bracketed his jaw with her hands and brought him back down again. “I want the real Roades. Show me the man you are now. Teach me.”
“Fuck, you don’t know what you’re asking for, mon coeur.”
She slipped her hands over his abs, down to his thick cock, like a rod of steel. She wrapped her fingers around him. “I think I do.” With that, she dropped to her knees, tugging down his cargo pants and boxers until his cock sprang free. She leaned in and swallowed it right to the root in one slick move.
“Jesus Christ.” He dropped his head back, and she watched his abs dip and shudder with each suck she took. Pulling on him, hollowing her cheeks to gain more suction. Licking the firm head and tasting his precum.
He locked a hand on the back of her head and for the first time, she felt the power behind the man. He yanked her in, forcing her to swallow all of him. A thrill hit her belly and continued lower. Her panties had never been so wet, her nipples so hard. She needed him to give himself up to her for this finale of all time.
She grasped his muscled hips and buried her nose in the fragrant, musky hair at the base of his cock, the head bumping the back of her throat.
He held her there a long second before releasing her and stepping back. His cock bobbed free of her mouth, wet with her saliva, dark purple with need and veins snaking down the length.
She remained on her knees, staring up at him. Then she slowly lifted her hands to pull off her nightgown and cupped her breasts. When she stroked a fingertip over her nipple, he let out a groan. “I need your mouth here, Roades.”
He cast off his clothing and in one step was with her, bearing her back on the worn rug of her room and clamping his lips around her nipple. Too tenderly.
Using his ways of doing things, she locked a hand on the back of his head, forcing him down to suck her harder. He did, but it wasn’t enough.
“Use your teeth,” she whimpered.
“Goddamn, woman, you’re going to kill me. Or I’m
going to hurt you when I let loose.”
She stared into his eyes. “The only way you could hurt me is by not giving your all before you leave me.”
She watched the words sink into him one by one until something changed in his eyes. A primitive heat smoldered there, and he bared his teeth before biting down onto her nipple. Not too hard and yet not soft either. The pleasure-pain grounded her in the moment even as she flew on the wings of bliss.
She rocked her hips and he found her wet folds with the tips of his fingers. She expected a gentle brushing over her clit, down to her opening. Instead he thrust them in, high, hard. She cried out and widened her thighs to give him all the access he needed. When he hammered his fingers into her hard and fast, all she could do was hold onto his shoulders and ride the wave of her first orgasm.
It tore through her with a force she’d never known before. This was the Roades she needed now, not the gentle lovemaking of their younger days.
“Fuck me like the man you are now.”
He poised at the heat of her, his cock slick with arousal and no barriers between them. She’d take her chances at a pregnancy if this was her one and only time to be with Roades like this.
She wrapped her thighs around him and jerked him into her at the same moment he rocked his hips. Buried so deep she had no idea where their bodies separated.
He slammed his lips over hers, bruisingly. She caught his lip with her teeth and scraped at his shoulders as he pounded into her with a fury of hurricane forces. She took as well as gave, showing him she wasn’t the same young girl he’d known and loved but a woman, rock solid and able to withstand anything he threw her way.
Including a life with him.
But he wasn’t offering that, only one amazing night, and she was determined to experience every moment.
His biceps quaked, and he churned his hips faster. His kisses left her searing with heat and stole her breath. She jerked upward to take him deeper, and he bottomed out. Again. Again.
The deep knot inside her frayed and suddenly she was pulsating around him, gripping and releasing as she felt the liquid heat of his release pour into her. He threw his head back and roared his pleasure.
Their gazes locked and the lovemaking continued. He pounded into her fiercely and claimed her mouth once more.
This was an end to a chapter of their lives—but no matter how many times she told herself she wasn’t falling into his arms again, that he was leaving, she couldn’t help but feel it was a beginning too.
* * * * *
“Roades. Everything all right, man?” Ben’s voice projected through the phone, and Roades couldn’t help but accept how much he missed his brothers. He’d been living, working and playing hard with them for a lifetime.
He considered Ben’s question. Everything wasn’t exactly all right but shit hadn’t gone sideways either.
At least not yet. He still had to force Hernan to stop what he was doing before he could go home. And it wouldn’t be done through conversation. Roades would have to apply force of some kind and still keep Carissa on his good side.
“Roades?” Ben prompted.
“I’m here. I need you to pull some strings for me.”
“Okaaay. What do you need?”
The plan had been unfolding in his mind since the day he’d set foot on this island. All the things these people needed Roades had free access to. Even their church organization back in Louisiana came to the aid of those in need, and if ever there were people in need, it was here.
As he spilled out the details of getting drop shipments to the deepest parts of the island as well as the cities, and how much money would be needed to rebuild a medical clinic, even a small one, and supply it, Ben just listened.
When he finished, his brother blew out a low whistle. “That’s a tall order, Roades. I thought you were asking for transport.”
“Shit’s complicated here. It’s like a war zone.”
“Sounds like it.”
“Can you get any of what I asked done?”
“I’ll try, but you know my time’s limited.”
Yeah, Knight Ops took over their lives, but it was a small price to pay for what they did to make the world a better place.
“Has Jackson said anything about me coming back?”
“Jackson’s being an even bigger asshole than usual. He’s got some new woman, and—”
“New woman?”
“Yeah, Dahlia’s not handling it very well. It’s the first woman he’s brought home officially since her mother died.”
Ben’s wife was a sweetheart and a softie. Roades could see why she’d be affected by her father’s new girlfriend.
“You’d think a man would be happier having a woman in his life, not more of an asshole.”
Ben chuckled. “Well, he’s living his second youth. Last I saw him, he was sporting a five o’clock shadow and riding a Harley.”
“Jesus.”
“Yeah. I’m guessing he didn’t meet this woman at the country club. Anyway, he’s nicer, that’s true. He’s only being an asshole about you.”
“Great. Thanks, I feel loads better now.” Roades grinned despite the situation. The vision of his superior decked out in leather and unshaven, riding a woman around on the back of his Harley was amusing as hell. The straight-laced, hard-ass he knew would never let stubble sprout on his jaw let alone shirk his friends at the country club.
“Glad to help. But seriously, Roades, I’m not sure I can handle this tall order you’ve given me.”
“Talk to the pastor at least. The church council has funds set up for this type of thing. Go to the mayor too. People rallied for New Orleans after Katrina. They’ll want to give back.”
“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just finding the time.”
“Maman and Lexi could…” He trailed off, realizing the last time they’d spoken it had been about Lexi running off to sow her oats. “Anything about Lexi’s whereabouts?”
“She’s called home once but we couldn’t trace the number. Seems the little shit has learned well from her brothers in the military.”
“Fuck. Yeah, it does. Okay, see what you can do. You have a lot of connections, and what you don’t have, our parents do.”
“I’ll run it past Dahlia too. She might know people through her father. Meanwhile, what’s going on with you? Did you do what you needed to down there?”
He grunted. “I found the kid, yeah. But I had to let him go.”
“Dude, you’re losing your touch. A couple months off the team and you can’t figure out how to bring in one kid?”
“It’s Carissa’s brother.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. I’d like to wring his goddamn neck, especially since he threatened her. But I have to tread lightly.”
“Do you need anything on my end?”
“Not really. I’ll handle it.” It was just a matter of how much he could piss off Carissa and still be in her good graces. All night long he’d racked his brain for a solution to the not-so-little problem brewing inside him.
He loved her. And he wasn’t willing to walk away from a love like that a second time.
Yet he didn’t know how to mesh their lives. Her loyalty to her people, especially right now when she was doing so much good with her clinic, would stop her from coming back to Louisiana with him to live. And he couldn’t stretch his time between two worlds, his family and his team.
No, if it was going to work, sacrifices would need to be made. On whose end was the biggest question and one he couldn’t answer.
“You know how to reach me,” Ben said and then ended the call.
Roades had been scanning his surroundings during the conversation, but there were no dangers around him. The turmoil was inside him.
He’d been kicking down regrets and slamming back what-ifs all morning. But any way he looked at it, the person making the most sacrifice would be Carissa. He couldn’t ask her to leave her life to follow him, even if she felt the same way he did, coul
d he?
Though she’d admitted to Hernan that she loved Roades, that didn’t mean she was willing to throw away anything she’d built here. And if she’d been willing to set aside her feelings for Hernan’s sake…
Roades sighed and continued walking. At this point, he didn’t even know what he was doing here. Searching the streets for what? He was no policia, and if he came across Hernan, he wasn’t even sure what he’d do now.
Maybe there was something he could do for Carissa, though. Besides get her out of this dangerous town and to a place where she could tend to people without being paid in squashes and apples or dealing in criminal activity with a narcotics trade to get her supplies.
She was a good woman, and he admired everything about what she was sacrificing for the sake of humanity. He also didn’t want her anywhere near that sort of life. She deserved a beautiful, comfortable home. A good job in a safe place, but only if she wanted it. If she wanted to stay home and raise their babies, then he would be more than supportive of that.
And after their last encounter, she damn well could be carrying his child.
He had no regrets whatsoever about not using a condom. If she’d turned him away, of course he would have stopped, even wild with need like he was. But when she’d agreed to forego birth control, he’d recognized a feeling of completion and he hadn’t even emptied his balls yet.
It was a claiming of sorts, and damn if it wasn’t making his dick hard now.
It was time for him to take further action. He wanted her—for life.
Convincing her might be another story. He could tell by the desperation in her last night that she was under the belief that he would soon be walking out on her. Not if he could help it. But his one big fear was that Jackson would lift his probation suddenly, sending him rushing back to meet up with the team. Knight Ops had no choice but to go when called. In the middle of Christmas dinner, birthday parties, lovemaking—didn’t matter. They stopped what they were doing and answered the call.
Knowing Carissa like he did, she wouldn’t go for that sort of life, though. She liked a quiet life, organization and routine.
He shook his head, unable to drop the weight bearing down on his shoulders when it came to Carissa.
