by S. G. Sonysa
I cannot change myself, and they were not going to love me the way I was.
Many people had broken my heart before, but Chase had taken the top spot on my list. I loved him with all my heart and stupidly, blindly believed that he cared for me, but tonight he showed me that he didn’t.
The tears were falling down from my eyes and wetting the pillow under my head.
I closed my eyes, wishing that I would never wake up.
Chapter Sixteen
Guilt
Chase
After Hailey ran inside the house and left us alone in the backyard, we were silent until Allison said, “Chase you were extremely rude to her. She looks sick and earlier when I went after her: I heard her throwing up in the washroom. You scared the poor girl so much.”
Before I could say anything, Cameron interrupted.
“He wasn’t rude. He was a complete ass. He yelled at her like she has no feelings. She is human Chase, not your punching bag, who you can hurt whenever you want. Most importantly she is your wife,” Cameron said, staring at me.
He emphasized the word “wife,” and I cringed internally.
Then he turned to Kate and glared at her.
“Kate, please grow up dear sister and stop creating drama out of petty things.”
“Cameron, go inside right now,” my mom said.
“I’m leaving because I don’t like to sit with people who’ve sticks shoved up their asses.” He stood up.
I clenched my jaw.
“Cameron, go inside,” my dad said.
He left and went inside the house.
I just shook my head and left them without saying anything. On the way out, I picked my car keys and went for a drive.
For a few minutes, I drove here and there carelessly without any destination in mind. Then my eyes landed in an empty park where I used to come with my granddad and decided to stop there.
I parked the car and step out of it then made my way inside the park. The park was completely empty. I sat down on the bench near the water fountain and stared at the moon above.
I didn’t know what I had done in my life to deserve this kind of fate. In my twenty years of life, I had done everything that my parents and granddad wanted me to do. Then why was I getting punished by fate?
I wasn’t prepared for marriage, but I said yes to make my granddad happy. I wanted to be a doctor, but my parents wanted me to study business.
My entire life, I did everything to make others happy and did nothing to please me.
I didn’t know Hailey, but when I saw her on our wedding day, I thought she was a perfect definition of an angel dressed in a beautiful white wedding gown. She looked so innocent and pure.
During the wedding ceremony, I assured myself that what I just felt for her a few minutes ago wasn’t attraction but a reaction to seeing her for the first time.
After the wedding, I started to give her the cold shoulder, but it didn’t change her natural friendly attitude with me. My feelings for her started to change. I used to dislike her presence in my house, but then I became addicted to her innocent, shy glances and her attention.
I started noticing her and every small action she made. She made a special place in my heart when she stayed with me the night I found out that my granddad left this world. I remembered her sweet voice whispering calming words in my ear. I remembered the feel of her soft fingers running through my hair.
After that night, everything changed in my heart. I started to crave for her attention, but before I could create my place in her life, Cameron stayed for a vacation. He became her friend, and I distanced myself from her. It gave me time to sort my feelings. I thought it was fine with me if she wanted to spend time with him. I tried to push every thought of them back in my head, but it became impossible.
I started to keep tabs on her and my brother. I hated it when she laughed with him. I hated it when she would enter the house with a smile plastered on her face and the reason for that smile was Cameron.
One day, I realized that it was jealousy. I felt jealous of my own brother because she had been spending time with him instead of me, and he was the one receiving all her attention. I cornered her and told her that I didn’t want her to go anywhere with Cameron, and that was the day she kissed my cheek. My body went still when she planted her soft lips on my cheek, but my heart was somersaulting in my chest.
When I went back to my room, I touched my cheek. Her lips left a lingering feeling on my skin. My heart felt warm, and there was a silly smile on my lips.
I didn’t know what was happening to me. I was confused about my feelings towards her. Then, I realized that I needed to stop all those feelings before I ruined everything.
I pushed her away from me that night of the party but ended up loving her. I found myself captured by her beauty and innocence. The time I put in creating boundaries between us was useless because it only took her simple confession to break them.
I never felt something like that before for anyone. I didn’t know how it felt to be in love. Every new feeling scared me and to avoid getting hurt, I pushed her away again and ignored her for the whole month.
But did I stop feeling the same about her after ignoring her for a month? No, I couldn’t stop my feelings, which was growing more every day.
Despite not talking to her all day, I still smiled thinking about her. Every night she would come in my dreams, and I would recall the sweet taste of her lips on my tongue. I could never forget the sensation of her lips on mine. Her innocent face in ecstasy was something that would always stay in my mind as my most beautiful memory.
I never felt such a special connection with any other girl before. They always felt temporary and left something unsatisfied in my soul. But that night Hailey filled the void in my soul and joined our hearts together. She took my heart and ruined me for anyone else.
I was planning to apologize to her tonight for avoiding and ignoring her for a month. I wanted to ask her for forgiveness and start fresh, but the truth about her age that was revealed tonight ruined the desire to be with her.
Now, I felt disgusted with myself for sleeping with her even when it was because of those drugs. I hated it for thinking that we could turn this loveless marriage into a real full of love marriage.
I couldn’t understand why she agreed to get married to me when she should be worrying about graduating from high school, instead of staying in my house and playing a role of my wife.
I didn’t know if I hated her for lying or I hated the truth of how young she was, and I couldn’t be with her knowing the truth.
I knew what I had done tonight with her wasn’t right, but it was the best way to finally make her hate me and let her go.
Chapter Seventeen
Alone
Hailey
[Morning after]
I woke up with extreme pain in my head. I sat up on my bed and rested my head on the headboard. My eyes were still shut due to the pain in them from crying all night.
Then I felt the sudden urge to throw up, and I ran in the direction of the bathroom. I emptied all the contents of my stomach then rinsed my mouth. I brushed my teeth to get rid of the vile taste of vomit. After that, I decided to take a shower and unzipped the dress, letting it pool down on my feet. I got inside the shower, and the cold water soothed my burning body making me sigh in relief. When I was done showering, I wrapped the towel around myself and opened my closet. I pulled out my inner wear and put them on. Then I pulled out the hair dryer and plugged it in.
After I was done drying my hair, I looked at my pale face and swollen eyes in the mirror. Chase’s words started to replay in my head making me shut them in pain.
I hated myself for loving him. I hated myself for letting my stupid heart fell for him. He broke me, hurt me, and treated me like there was nothing between us.
Couldn’t he see how much I loved him?
I moved to go back to my room but stumbled due to the excruciating pain in my head. I tried to hold myself t
ogether, but everything around me started to fade. Then slowly, I fell down on the floor. My eyes rolled back in my head and breaths turned into gasps after that darkness consumed me.
***
Chase
[Morning after]
When I came downstairs for breakfast, I found Amy and my mom working in the kitchen.
“Where is everyone?” I asked my mom.
“Your dad left for the office because he has very important meetings lined up for today. Kate went out for breakfast with some friends. Cameron is still sleeping, I guess.”
I was hoping that she would continue and tell me about Hailey, but she didn’t say anything about her.
Amy placed my coffee and plate of toast and fried eggs in front of me.
I took a sip of my coffee and cringed because it wasn’t perfect like Hailey made it. In those three months she had made me addicted to the coffee she made and how could I forget about those delicious cupcakes. Almost every morning, she served me these together turning my boring breakfast into a heavenly one.
If she hadn’t prepared coffee for me, it meant she still hadn’t come down for breakfast.
I was about to take my first bite when I stopped. She was sick last night. The thought of her made me worry. I checked the time, and it was ten in the morning. She usually came down around nine.
I hesitantly asked my mom to confirm my suspicions.
“Mom where’s Hailey? I mean she’s usually with you when you’re in the kitchen making breakfast,” I said.
My mom raised her eyebrows at me.
“She hasn’t come down this morning to help me with anything. I think she’s embarrassed to show her face after lying to us,” she said.
After hearing that, I got more worried.
I got up, and said, “I am not hungry.”
My mother gave me a weird look but said nothing.
I went upstairs to Hailey’s room with the spare keys of her bedroom in my hand. I knocked loudly on her door twice and waited, but she didn’t open the door.
My heart started to beat faster. Different types of scenarios started playing in my mind. What if she had hurt herself after last night’s incident? What if she was too sick to even move and open the door or answer?
If something happened to her because of me, how would I be able to forgive myself?
Without dwelling on the thoughts of what ifs, I inserted the keys and unlocked the door.
I pushed open the door and went inside. The first thing my eyes landed on was a messy bed that was empty. I walked to her bathroom and knocked on the door, but again I didn’t receive any answer from her. I pushed the door open and found her sprawled down on the bathroom floor in her undergarments.
I kneeled down and called her name, but she didn’t open her eyes. Her face looked extremely pale, and her lips were almost white, not in their natural pink color, which I loved.
My heart broke at the sight of her motionless body in my arms. I picked her up bridal style and took her out then carefully placed her on the bed.
I picked up a glass and rushed to the washroom to fill it with water. Then I came back out. I splashed some water on her face to wake her up, but she stayed unconscious.
Then I went back down to inform my mom about Hailey.
“Mom, I found Hailey passed out in her room. We need to take her to the hospital,” I said to her, picking my car keys from the table.
“What? You found her passed out on the floor?” She got up from the chair.
We went to her room so she could look at her.
“I’m dressing her into something appropriate. Go call 911,” she said.
She walked to the closet and picked out a simple white summer dress and hurriedly dressed her in it.
I dialed 911 and informed them of the situation. The ambulance arrived in ten minutes, and the paramedics checked Hailey. They said her blood pressure had dropped really low and she needed to be taken to the hospital. Mom rode in the ambulance with Hailey, and I went to the garage to take out my car then followed the ambulance.
When we arrived at the nearest hospital, Hailey was immediately taken to the emergency room.
My mom and I followed them to the ER.
An hour had passed, but the doctor hadn’t informed us of anything except that she was fine and they were running some tests to find the reason why she passed out earlier.
I was extremely anxious and worried about her. When the doctor came out from Hailey’s room, my mom and I were instantly by her side.
She looked at the reports in her hand and then said, “Hi, I’m Doctor Ashley. What’s your relationship with the patient?”
“I’m her mother-in-law,” my mom said hesitantly.
“Oh, that’s great. I have good news for you.”
My mom and I frowned.
“Your daughter-in-law is pregnant,” the doctor said.
When her words registered in my mind, my world tilted upside down. My body went numb. Everything around me slowed down, and I stumbled back.
How could I be so stupid? Why didn’t I think about this? What had I done?
Oh, God! She was pregnant with my child.
I had ruined everything for us.
“Are you sure that she is pregnant?” my mom asked the doctor.
“Yes. I’m sure. Hailey is almost four weeks pregnant and here are her reports. She just has a very bad case of morning sickness that’s why she is so weak and fainted. I have written some medicine to tame down nausea and vitamins to keep her and the baby healthy. You can take her home, but I recommend complete bed rest at least for 2 weeks as she is quite weak at the moment.”
My mom awkwardly smiled, and said, “Thank you.”
The doctor handed my mom Hailey’s report and prescription.
When the doctor left, I fell down on the nearest chair and looked down at my feet. Everything had changed. She was now pregnant and hated me for what I had done last night and how I had treated her all these months.
A shudder went through my body at the thought of confessing everything that happened between us to my parents. It gave me a mini seizure.
***
Hailey
I tried to open my eyes, but the bright light made me shut them instantly. I groaned and opened them again to see the white ceiling and walls. I shot up from the bed and looked around. My room didn’t have white colored walls. I glanced at myself and found an IV sticking in my left hand.
What was I doing in the hospital?
Then I remembered how I fainted in the morning.
Oh, God! Did I have some kind of fatal disease? Was I dying? Was that why they brought me to the hospital?
I felt like crying at my fate for being so cruel.
Before I could dwell on my thoughts, my mother-in-law stormed inside. She looked at me in anger and disgust.
“Get up. We’re leaving,” she yelled, making me jump in fright.
I looked at the IV attached to my hand and then I looked up at her.
She made a noise of irritation then roughly removed the IV from my hand. The place where the IV was attached started to bleed, and I felt the pain in my hand. Tears brimmed in my eyes at her harsh action.
She glared at me, and I got up from the bed.
I looked around for my slippers but couldn’t found them anywhere.
“Don’t waste time,” she said, getting out of the room.
I silently followed her out without slippers.
People looked at me confused, and I hid my face by looking down at the white tiles of the hospital floor.
When we stepped out of the hospital, we found Chase waiting for us in his car. I risked a glance at Chase and found him staring at me. We were both frozen then I averted my eyes from him and got in the back seat of the car. He started driving towards the house.
We reached the house, and my mother-in-law pulled me out of the car, roughly.
“Mom, I need some time alone. I will be back soon,” Chase said, getting back in the car and le
ft us.
After Chase left, she dragged me into the house.
I was so scared of her because her actions were screaming danger. If she weren’t holding my wrist so tightly I would have considered running to my room and locking myself inside.
She dragged me to the living room where Kate was resting on the couch and watching something on TV.
When she saw us, she got up, and said, “Mom. Is everything alright?”
She let go of my wrist and sat down on the couch. I took a glance at my wrist and found three harsh red marks due to her death grip.
She gave me a cold glare, which could freeze the whole country.
“Kate, go call your father and tell him to come home immediately.” She ordered Kate.
Kate opened her mouth to ask her why but thought better of it.
My legs trembled from standing, and I moved towards the couch to sit, but I was stopped by my mother-in-law.
“Did I give you the permission to sit? Keep standing,” she yelled.
I retraced my steps back and stood still.
Kate finally got the courage to open her mouth.
“Mom, what’s going on?” Kate asked.
That question made my mother-in-law so angry, and her head snapped to me. I moved my foot left to right and glanced at her again to just receive another cold glare from her.
“Kate, I’ll tell you what’s going on. This merely 16-year-old girl is four weeks pregnant, can you believe it?” she said with her hand pointing at me.
After I heard her, the first question that popped into my mind was how I could be pregnant?
Pregnant as in there was a baby inside me.
Holy cupcakes! How? When?
That question just made me want to faint again and never wake up.
“She is pregnant,” Kate repeated, snapping me out from my train of thoughts. “Mom, I told you what kind of a girl she is but you didn’t believe me. Emily told me everything. How this girl was caught fucking a boy in the janitor’s closet and got suspended from school. After that, her father homeschooled her because of daily complaints from school about her immoral activities,” Kate said, looking at me.
