by S. G. Sonysa
“Okay. What have you planned?” she asked me while taking a bite of her grilled cheese crostini.
I gulped at the innocent actions of her lips.
“There is a cabin near the mountains, which is really beautiful. Noah was telling me yesterday that he wants to celebrate Christmas where he can play in the snow. We could go and spend Christmas there. Near the woods and mountains that is if you don’t mind,” I said, hoping that she would not refuse.
“Oh, it’s okay. We can go there,” she said.
I was so happy after hearing that, but my smile vanished when I heard her next words.
“I thought you wanted to tell me about your engagement,” she said.
“I’m not engaged. Clara lied to you.” I cursed myself in my head.
“Really, but why did she lie to me?” Hailey asked me while trying to look nonchalant about the question, but I saw the glint of jealousy in her eyes.
“She is just being funny. She likes to joke around. I have no fiancée. Hell, I haven’t been with any girl in the last three years,” I said.
Noah’s head snapped my way. Hailey sent me a glare.
I looked at them in confusion.
“Daddy, you said a bad word,” Noah said to me, and I frowned in bewilderment.
Then my eyes widened when I realized I said “hell.”
“Sorry, Noah. I will not use that word again,” I said to my son, and he bobbed his head up and down like he appreciated it.
The waiter approached and saved me from Hailey’s wrath by serving dinner. We enjoyed our food peacefully while Noah made small jokes, and Hailey and I couldn’t stop laughing. He shared his dreams with me and what he liked. One thing I realized was that my son was really talkative and a curious type of kid. He didn’t stop talking until he felt sleepy.
After, we were done eating we decided to leave as Noah seemed tired and sleepy. I picked him up in my arms and walked to the elevator while Hailey followed us. My son put his small arms around my neck and placed his head on my shoulder.
When we came out, the valet brought my car from the parking. I put Noah in the car seat at the back while Hailey sat on the passenger side. I got in the car and drove in the direction of her house.
The ride to her house was peaceful and silent. When we reached her house, the lights were out indicating that her parents were asleep.
I turned around to see Noah sleeping soundly in his car seat. Hailey pulled out the keys from her purse and stepped out from the car. I got out and pulled out Noah from the car seat then took him in my arms.
Hailey opened the main door and waited for me to make my way to her. She extended her hand to take Noah in her arms.
“I can help you take him to his room,” I said.
She looked at her dress and nodded. When I was inside, she closed the door.
“My room is upstairs, and Noah sleeps with me there,” she said, walking toward the stairs.
I followed her upstairs. She told me to put Noah on the bed. I did, and he started snuggling in the pillows. I kissed his forehead and murmured good night.
I turned back and saw Hailey removing her earrings, standing near the vanity table. My legs moved and took me to her. She turned and gave me a confused look.
Before I could stop myself, I put my hands on her waist and pulled her closer.
Her breath hitched, and she stared at me with a questioning gaze.
“Hailey, I’m sorry for what I am going to do,” I said and leaned down to capture her lips with mine.
She froze when my lips touched hers. Slowly, I moved my lips to show her how much I had missed her in the last three years and how much I wanted her.
I sighed recalling how she still tasted like strawberries. At that moment, I wouldn’t complain if death came and took my life away.
Suddenly, I felt a push on my chest and stumbled back.
“Chase, what the hell are you doing?” She looked very angry.
“I am sorry, Hailey. I am leaving,” I said, turning around to hide the pain that I felt in my heart because of her rejection.
“Isn’t it what you have always done? It’s just so easy for you to leave and make people leave you.”
I didn’t say anything to her, letting her continue.
“I’m not your wife anymore. You cannot just walk in my life and kiss me like you were not the one who divorced me,” she said, coming to stand in front of me.
I said nothing and stared at her.
“I’m not the same silly sixteen-year-old girl anymore who gave you her heart without asking for anything in return.” She jabbed a finger into my chest, and I stayed still.
“I will not allow you to come into my life again then break my heart and rip my soul into pieces just like you did before. Do not even try to touch me again. I’m giving you a chance to be with your son, Chase. But it does not mean that I’m giving you a chance to be with me. Keep that in your mind for next time.”
Her eyes were blazing with anger. Each word she uttered was coated with hate. I took a step back from her.
Her cries, her busted lips because my mom slapped, her innocent smile, and the day when I dropped her at airport played in my head. That day her eyes were pleading me to stop her, but I let her go.
I knew this would happen if I divorced her. I knew she would always hate me for this, but I still did what I thought was right to protect her and my son.
Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, and now it was too late to tell her the truth.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I… just… It has been three years and seeing you again today…” I tried to explain to her what I was feeling but failed.
“I don’t want to hear it, Chase! It is too late, and you should leave,” she said, looking at me in irritation.
After hearing her asking me to leave, I didn’t feel that there was anything left to say. I decided to leave because I was pretty good at that.
I took a step back from her and left her house. I got into my car and sped away from her house. I didn’t know where I was going. I had no destination in mind as I was driving.
My brain was messing with me again. Suddenly, I was standing at the altar waiting for Hailey to show up. Then I was in the party where she was dancing, and next minute I was watching her with Noah in her arms on the airport, leaving me.
A light flashed in my eyes, and I immediately swiveled left so I wouldn’t hit the dog, which was sitting in the center of the road. My car crashed into the tree, making my head bang against the side of the window, and the pain exploded in my head, blinding me momentarily. I opened my eyes and pulled out my cell phone from my pocket. I dialed James’ number.
“I think I need your help,” I said and leaned my head on the steering wheel.
Tears brimmed in my eyes as her words rang in my ears again.
She was never going to forgive me again. I lost her and the chance to call her mine.
“I should leave,” I mumbled and fell into the darkness.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Jealousy Hurts Like A Bitch
Hailey
I woke up next morning with stiff muscles. I stretched my arms in the air and moved my neck left to right. Then I noticed the culprit of my discomfort. Last night after Chase left I couldn’t fall asleep. My mind was constantly reminding me how I felt when he kissed me. So, I got up from the bed and sat down on the couch with my favorite book, but I still couldn’t stop thinking.
Why did my body come alive under his touch? Why did his lips soothe the ache in my heart? Why did it feel like home when he kissed me?
I didn’t know why I reacted so aggressively and rudely at Chase. I didn’t know if I was angry at him for kissing me, or I was angry at myself for still having the same reaction to his kisses after all this time.
I saw the hurt on his face when I told him to leave. I should apologize to him for being unnecessarily rude last night.
“Mommy, I am hungry,” Noah said, walking towards me and jumping
on my lap.
I looked at him.
“Today is Sunday, Mommy. We need to go to the park.”
Almost every Sunday, Noah went to the park to play with Sammy.
Sammy was a very cute kid and Ethan’s nephew. He has blonde hair like Ethan, but his eyes were the unique color of brown and honey. It had been Noah and Sammy’s thing to meet at the park every Sunday and play around. Ethan and I would keep an eye on the kids while gossiping.
“Noah, listen baby. First, you need to brush your teeth then come down. I will make your favorite pancakes,” I told him, and he ran towards the washroom to brush his teeth.
I dialed Ethan’s number. He answered on the third ring.
“Hi. Ethan, are you coming to the park with Sammy?” I asked him.
He sighed and said, “Yes. We are coming.”
Then he ended the call. I glared at the cell phone and cursed him.
I went down and made pancakes for Noah and coffee for myself. When Noah came down, he ate his pancakes.
Then I went to take a quick shower and got changed into my baby blue long sleeve jumper, and blue ripped jeans. Then I grabbed my black boots and went downstairs in the living room where my son was waiting for me.
I took him upstairs and changed him into jeans and a blue t-shirt. Then made him wear a jacket to which he made a face, but I gave him an angry glare, so he let me zip it up. Lastly, I put a cute beanie on his head, which made him look cuter.
The weather was really chilly as it was winter, so I was taking some extra precautions. I didn’t want my son to get pneumonia.
I helped him lace his shoes then we left for the park. The park was only two blocks away from my house, so we just walked. Noah was running ahead while my earphones were plugged in my ears.
After ten minutes of walking, we entered the park. I found Ethan’s car parked outside. Noah ran towards Sammy who was playing with Fuzzy. Fuzzy was Ethan’s dog, a golden retriever, and he was the friendliest and funniest dog on the planet. Ethan trained him how to play throw ball with kids, and my son loved to play with him. When Fuzzy saw me coming, he started barking happily and wiggled his tail. I patted him lightly on the back and rubbed his ear, after that he ran away to play with Noah and Sammy.
I found Ethan sitting on the bench, and his eyes were on me.
“Hi,” I said, slumping down beside him.
He didn’t reply and turned his head away. I rolled my eyes at his childish action.
“Ethan, please, let me explain. I know you are angry at me for not telling you everything, but at least hear me out,” I said.
I only had a few friends, and I didn’t want to lose them because of some misunderstanding.
He turned to me with a bored look on his face.
I started telling him my story.
“One night, I was about to fall asleep when I heard my mom’s voice. I followed her voice and found out she was crying because Emily ran away. She ran away because my granddad wanted her to get married to his friend’s grandson. In short, I volunteered to get married instead of her so she could come back home,” I told him.
“Was that the only reason you agreed to get married?”
“No, it wasn’t. My relationship with my mom wasn’t great at that time, and I wanted to leave the house. At that time getting married seemed the best way to get rid of my past life. So I got married to Chase and left Oakland and my old life.”
“Were you happy with him? Did he love you?”
“At first, I was scared of him then later I fell in love with him. He didn’t see me as the girl who he could fall for. He was in college at that time. He had dreams. I was a silly sixteen-year-old girl with basic education and no plans for the future. I was a dork. I didn’t even know how to dress up,” I said, laughing at myself recalling my taste in fashion
“But somehow Chase and I end up on the bed together, and later I found out I was pregnant. I was happy, even he was happy. We started to get to know each other, and I started to fall harder for Chase. But after one week of Noah’s birth, Chase gave me divorce papers and asked me to sign them. After that, I came back to Oakland to my family and started a new life,” I told him and stared at Noah who was smiling when Fuzzy jumped on him.
“Julia knows everything because she knows me from high school and she is my best friend. It was her idea to hide my life story from you, Vanessa, and Matt. She thought my past doesn’t define me and will not affect my friends when it would come out.”
“Julia was right. Your past doesn’t define you. I wouldn’t stop being your friend even if you tell me you were a stripper in the past,” he said, and I slapped his shoulder.
He smiled at me and said, “I was just hurt. I thought you didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth. And I thought you were still with that man”.
“Chase and I have been divorced for the last three years,” I told him.
“Hailey, I lied to you about something.”
“Last time when we were playing truth and dare at Julia’s place, and she asked me if I love any girl. I lied to her and said that I don’t, but I do, I love you,” he said, shocking me.
My mouth dropped open, and I stared at him.
***
Chase
I woke up and realized I was on the bed of my hotel room. I remembered what Hailey said to me last night, and on the way back to the hotel I lost control of my car, and it crashed into a tree.
I shouldn’t have kissed her because I had lost that right a long time ago. And by kissing her last night, I might’ve ruined any chance for the future.
My eyes landed on James, sleeping on one of the couches.
“James, wake up,” I said.
He opened his eyes and stared at me then got up abruptly.
“Sir, are you alright?” he asked me.
“Yeah, I am fine. How did I come back to the hotel?” I felt like I had a headache.
“I brought you back to the hotel. You were unconsciousness that’s why you don’t remember.”
“Why were you sleeping here on the couch?”
“Sir, after what you have done for my family, it’s my responsibility to take care of you. That’s why I stayed here last night and fell asleep on the couch.”
“James, I have given you a job. It is not like I am paying you without taking your services.”
“But sir, I’m still grateful to you for giving me this job when I needed it most.”
James had no idea what a horrible person I was and how the world would be a better place if I would just leave.
I told James to go to his room then I decided to go to Hailey’s house to apologize to her again about last night and to make sure she wouldn’t cancel the plan for Christmas.
I thought of taking her and Noah out for breakfast and apologizing to her.
With that plan in mind, I got up from bed and went to the washroom to freshen up. I got changed into some jeans and denim button-up shirt then pulled my black leather jacket from the closet. I picked up my car keys and made my way out.
I reached her house and talked myself into going out of the car to talk to Hailey, but before I could do that, I saw Noah and Hailey coming out from the house.
I was confused and thought they must be going somewhere for breakfast, so I followed them. They went inside the park, so I thought of going inside and pretend like it was a coincidence to meet them here. But when I went inside, I found Hailey sitting with some guy and that made me jealous.
I moved a little closer and heard her asking him to hear her out. I hid behind the tree and started eavesdropping on their conversation.
She told him everything about her life and our past. Then the guy told her he loved her. She stared at him in shock.
I left the park and got inside my car. I wasn’t ready to accept that she had no place for me in her heart that she had a new guy who she loved. I didn’t want to hear her say she loved him too.
That day, I realized how rejection felt, and that jealousy hurt like a b
itch.
Chapter Thirty
I’m Not Losing Her Again
Hailey
I started laughing. I was laughing really hard that I was clutching my stomach and tears formed in my eyes. I was sure that if there weren’t grass on the ground, I would be rolling down.
“Ethan, this is the best prank you ever played on me,” I said, still laughing lightly.
He gave me a deadpanned look, which made me a little uneasy and I stopped laughing.
“Ethan, please don’t tell me you are serious.” My face turned pale.
“I’m dead serious, Hailey,” he said.
After hearing him, I didn’t know what came over me; I slapped him on the left cheek. Not so hard but hard enough to knock some sense into his dumb brain.
“Ouch! Hailey, that is not a nice way to reject someone,” Ethan said, glaring at me.
I glared back at him.
“Mommy, why did you slap Ethan? Did he say the naughty word?” Noah asked me with a toothy grin.
I glanced at Ethan for support to tell these little devils something that would ease their curiosity. But Ethan was still busy massaging his cheek
“Uh… Noah, there was a… a fly on Ethan’s cheek. I just slapped his cheek to make it fly away before it bites him. Now go play.” I then shooed them away.
“Ethan, are sure? I mean are you a hundred percent sure it is love and not some crush or another kind of love like brotherly love, you know?” I asked him with a curious look, waiting for his answer.
“Hailey, you are so going to regret asking me these stupid questions,” he said.
He was making the same face he made before tickling Sammy.
“Oh… I think I’m in trouble.” I got up and started running away from him.
He was behind me, running like a predator after his prey.
We ran rounds and rounds. Even Noah, Sammy, and Fuzzy were helping Ethan to catch me by blocking every way. Traitors! They were ganging up on little me. When I hid behind the tree to catch my breath, Ethan sneaked up on me from behind and picked me up in his arms. He spun me around.
