by S. G. Sonysa
“Is it that good?” Chase asked me, staring at my face.
“It’s perfect.” I was enjoying my coffee very much.
“How was your life the last three years?” he asked me like he was really interested in my life.
“Uh…there was nothing interesting. After I moved back with my parents, I continued my studies. Now I am in college. I’m studying to become a psychologist.” I was still drinking the coffee.
“You want to be a psychologist? Why?” He looked at me curiously while drinking his coffee.
“I want to be a psychologist because I want to help people who went through some horrible accidents in life and want to end themselves. I want to pull them out from depression because it is a very deep dark hole, which sucks you in slowly,” I said, glancing at the fire in the fireplace.
I recalled how hard my life was during that phase. My hands started to shake a bit, and I gripped the mug tightly.
“Were you in depression, Hailey?” He looked concerned.
“I’m tired, Chase. Good night,” I said, standing up.
I was not ready to answer him. I didn’t want to tell him how weak I was when he left me. I didn’t want to tell him how many nights I had spent crying on my bed. He had no right to know how much I wished to fall asleep in his arms like I used to do when we would watch movies together in my room.
I was not the same girl anymore. I was a strong woman, a single mother living a happy life with her son. I didn’t need him in my life anymore to make me happy. With these thoughts swirling around my head, I fell asleep.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Celebrating Christmas
Hailey
I woke up the next morning in a good mood. I went to the washroom to freshen up. After showering, I changed into a red knee-length dress. I stared at myself in the mirror for a few minutes after blow-drying my hair and thought that I looked pretty nice in the dress. Then I decided to go downstairs to make breakfast.
When I reached the last stair, my eyes landed on Chase. He was sleeping on the couch in the living room. The first thought that came to my mind was that I forgot we had one master bedroom in the cabin, which Noah and I took.
Oh gosh! I didn’t even ask him if he wanted to sleep on the bed. But it would be so awkward if we sleep in the same bed.
“Like you remember the first time you shared a bed with him,” my mind taunted.
My face heated up at the reminder of our past, which was still a mystery to me.
I walked closer to where he was sleeping. His right hand was under his head while the left one was hanging from the couch because of the small space. I kneeled down and picked up his hand then placed it on his chest.
My hand brushed against his chest. I felt the rhythmic beating of his heart and looked at his face. Before I could stop myself, I placed my hand on his jaw and ran my thumb over his stubble. The stubble on his jaw looked great on his face, giving him a matured look.
In the past, I used to stare at him when he wouldn’t be looking at me. I used to imagine my future with him.
My mind was again making me imagine how it would be if we became a family again. I knew Noah was still young to understand why his dad never came to meet him, but someday he would come to know that it was because of me then he would hate me.
I didn’t want my son to hate me. He was my only family. But I couldn’t lose him to Chase.
I should give Chase a chance to mend our broken relationship for the sake of my son’s happiness and future. But I was not ready to fall into a one-sided love again and feel how worthless and unwanted I was in his life.
Chase hated me. Now because of our son, he had been tolerating my presence. It didn’t mean he wanted me back in his life.
And if I would share this idea with him, he might do it for Noah. I knew he loved his son. But what would happen when he would see me as a burden, baggage, and an unnecessary responsibility in his life. I didn’t want to be a burden again.
It was best if we continued to live our lives the way we have been living it for the last three years.
Noah would understand why his father wasn’t part of the family.
I removed my hand from his jaw and got up, ready to leave, when I was pulled back with force and fell down on something hard.
My eyes widened when I realized what happened. I looked at myself. My head was lying on Chase’s chest while my legs were dangling from the couch.
After completely accessing our position, my eyes made their way from his chest to his face. I found him wide awake, smiling at me while holding my wrist in his hand.
I glared at him and tried to get up, but he placed his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. My breathing was uneven, and I didn’t know if it was because of the fall or the closeness of his warm body.
“Good morning,” Chase said, staring at me.
“Good morning.” I felt uncomfortable because of our position.
“How did you sleep last night?” he asked me, tucking the strand of my hair behind my ear.
His hand caressed my cheek, creating a weird tingly feeling on my skin.
I couldn’t believe my traitorous body for having this reaction because of his simple touch.
“I slept fine,” I said and tugged my hand free.
Instead of leaving my hand and freeing me, he made a sudden move and flipped us. Now he was on top of me while I was underneath him.
I was shocked at the complete turn of our position and a little flustered that now I could feel his body fully pressed on mine.
His sterling grey eyes were taking me in like it was some kind of dream.
For a few minutes, I found myself lost in his eyes. His face leaned closer to mine while our eyes were still connected then he planted his lips on mine. My eyes went shut at the softness and warmness of his soft lips.
I didn’t know why it felt so good to know that he was kissing me.
He was waiting for me to push him away or do anything to give him an indication that I didn’t want this. But my mind was too numb to act properly because of the sensation of his lips on mine.
Did I want this?
“You always wanted him to love you,” my mind replied.
His lips moved on mine, and my stupid brain decided to completely stop working at that moment, and my body was on fire.
I didn’t know when I started kissing him back, but my hands made their way to his neck. I pushed my fingers through the mess of his silky hair and gripped them.
He bit my lower lip, and I gasped giving him access to enter my mouth. His tongue leisurely stroked my tongue, and I felt like I was in heaven.
I tried to win this brutal war but lost my breath and energy. He was winning the damn war with his playful nips. Then I heard light footsteps making its way down.
Chase distracted me by brushing his knuckles on my breast.
I tugged his hair to distract him, but the stupid man thought I wanted him to deepen the kiss.
He was turning the kiss into a passionate one, and I didn’t want to let go of him. He was making me feel like I would die if I stopped kissing him.
“Mommy, mommy, where are you?” Noah yelled from the stairs in his cute voice.
After hearing Noah’s voice, I got all my senses back that I earlier lost to my devil of an ex-husband.
I pushed Chase away on time, so when Noah came, he found Chase on the ground.
Sadly, the push was quite unexpected for Chase, and he fell down on the floor on his back.
Noah’s eyes landed on his dad who was hissing in pain, and he came running to him.
“Dad… Are you hurt?” Noah asked Chase looking concerned.
I was busy with calming my breath.
“I’m good, son.” Chase rolled on the floor on his back in pain.
“Mommy, help Dad,” Noah pleaded while looking at me.
At Noah’s demand, I got up from the couch and offered my hand to Chase. I helped him get back on the couch.
When Chase was
sitting on the couch, I let out a sigh.
“Are you alright?” I asked Chase.
He nodded, making a pained face.
I rolled my eyes at his drama.
Was he trying to gain sympathy by acting like he was in pain?
A push couldn’t have hurt him that much.
I smirked and decided to tease him.
“Chase, do you know how strong Noah is? One time, he fell down from the stairs and scraped his knees, but he didn’t shed a single tear. He told me that boys are strong and they don’t cry like babies, so you should stop crying too,” I said with a smirk.
Chase’s eyes widened, and he straightened up.
“I’m fine, and there is no pain,” Chase said, smiling at Noah.
Noah and I erupted into giggles at Chase’s statement.
Suddenly, Chase started to look at me with a full smile on his face, and I stopped giggling. It felt strange when he looked at me so intensely.
Noah broke the awkward atmosphere by complimenting me.
“Mommy, you’re looking so pretty,” Noah said, staring at me with happiness in his grey eyes.
“Thank you, love.” I picked him up in my arms and kissed his cheek.
He giggled and planted a kiss on my cheek.
“Dad, tell Mommy how pretty she is looking,” Noah said, making my eyes widened.
He always did this. Noah would compliment me then made Mom and Dad compliment me. Even if we were out on shopping, he would ask any stranger how I looked.
Noah’s question caught Chase off guard. He glanced at me from my head to my red toenails.
“Your mom is looking gorgeous. She is the epitome of beauty.” Chase stared into my eyes.
“What does epitome mean?” Noah asked, staring at Chase.
I put Noah down on the floor before he continued asking Chase more questions.
“Noah baby, let’s change you into your Christmas outfit,” I said, distracting him from his question.
Noah’s face lit up, and he started running back upstairs to our room.
Chase caught my hand. He stopped me then stood up from the couch.
“Hailey, I wasn’t lying when I said how beautiful you look,” Chase whispered in my ear.
I did let myself slip once again to his charm, but this time I was not going to become a fool again.
“Chase, we are here for Noah. You should remember this and I should too,” I said in a curt voice.
Chase’s face fell, and he let go my hand.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
I nodded and made my way upstairs.
I helped Noah brush his teeth then changed him into his favorite Santa outfit, which he loved to wear every Christmas. He looked so cute in the little red pants and shirt with the Santa cap on his head.
Noah went down to find his dad. I stayed in the room, thinking. The kiss that we shared earlier made me curse myself. It wasn’t right. We had been divorced for three years.
I loved him, and I was attracted to him. But after three years, I wasn’t expecting the same feelings for him to surface again.. I wasn’t expecting my heart to throb again like it used to do in the past.
I went downstairs and found Chase making pancakes.
“Can you help me in arranging the table?” Chase asked me.
I nodded and put the plates on the table while Noah sat on the kitchen counter, telling Chase how every Sunday he and I went out for breakfast and ate chocolate chip pancakes.
I loved the smile on both of their faces, and my heart softened for Chase.
He was making an effort to make our son happy. I should help him too instead of holding a grudge against him.
After having breakfast, Noah dragged us towards the Christmas tree to open his gifts. There were so many gift boxes placed under the tree. I had no idea where they came from. I only put two gift boxes for Noah under the tree and didn’t bring any gift for Chase.
“Mommy, look. Santa came last night and placed so many gifts.” Noah was so excited and leaned down to pick one box.
“Oh, baby. I think it’s not from Santa. They are from your dad,” I said, making him look at Chase with his grey eyes.
Noah was literally in love with Chase at that moment. I knew what his little mind used to think when I would tell him that his dad was busy and couldn’t come home for Christmas. Now that Chase had showered Noah with gifts and love, my son was happy. Chase had successfully won his heart.
“Thank you. I love you! I love you,” Noah said, hugging Chase’s legs.
He looked up at him with love in his eyes.
Chase kneeled down and hugged Noah tightly. He kissed his head then pulled away. I noticed tears in Chase’s eyes, but he blinked them back.
“I love you too, son. I’m sorry for not coming back earlier,” Chase said.
Noah smiled at him and kissed his cheek. I smiled and blinked back my tears.
Noah asked me to help him in opening his gifts. I sat down beside him and helped him. He opened the first gift, and he found an electronic tablet inside from a very well-known company around the world. Noah knew what a tablet was and how it worked, so he got really excited seeing that gift and squealed with happiness.
Chase was smiling ear to ear while watching Noah jumping in excitement.
He opened the second gift, which was an autographed t-shirt from his favorite football player. The third gift was three tickets for Disneyland. After that Noah was over the moon. Chase received another kiss on his cheek from Noah. The fourth gift was a remote control mini helicopter, and that was from me and a new book. Lastly, I got the chance to receive a kiss and hug from him.
I was ready to faint if I would find another expensive gift from Chase for Noah. Two boxes were still sitting under the tree unopened.
I got up from the floor. Noah picked the box up in his hand and looked at it.
“Mommy, this is for you. It has your name on the card,” my son said, handing me the box.
I gave him a quizzical look but took the box from his tiny hands. I read the card attached to the box and found my name written on it.
“It’s for you,” Chase said, staring at me.
“But I didn’t bring anything for you.” I felt ashamed for being so inconsiderate.
“Hailey, you don’t have to give me any gift when you have already given me Noah. Simply allowing me to spend this Christmas with him and you is the best gift for me,” Chase said smiling.
I wanted to cry and hug him at the honesty behind his words. I realized how cruel I was to ask him to never come back and show me his face. He missed three years of his son’s life because of me.
How could I do this to him?
When did I become so selfish? Why did I punish him by asking him not to come back until I asked him?
This man thought Noah was the best gift in the world that I had given him. If that was true, why did he divorce me and send me back to my parents? This man did look like the Chase I fell in love with, but his words were telling me how much he had changed. And I loved this change.
“If you still want to give me something then you can always give me a kiss as a thank you,” Chase said, taking a step closer to me and whispering in my ear so Noah wouldn’t hear us.
The smell of his cologne was reminding me how crazy I was about it.
“I can push you the same way I did this morning. That was pretty fun,” I said innocently.
“I didn’t know you enjoy it rough.” Chase had a silly smirk on his stupidly handsome face.
At first, I didn’t understand him, but when it made sense, my face turned hot.
“Open it up,” Chase said, distracting me.
I opened the box and found a velvet cloth inside it. I removed the piece of cloth and found a small red jewelry box. I took it out and opened it.
A loud gasp escaped from my mouth when I looked at the beautiful sapphire necklace set in front of my eyes. I was literally speechless at the beautiful combination of sapphires and diamonds shining i
n front of me.
“Do you like it?” Chase asked me, looking nervous.
“I… I’m speechless. It’s… It’s really beautiful and looks expensive. I can’t take it, Chase.”
The smile vanished from his face.
“Why?” He asked me.
“It’s expensive, and I am your ex-wife. It doesn’t look like an appropriate gift to give to your ex.” I handed him back the jewelry box.
“When I saw this necklace in the shop, I imagined you wearing it. I would really like it if you put it on for me and accept it,” Chase said with a puppy dog face.
Now, I knew where Noah got this habit of making a puppy dog face when he wanted something. It was obviously from his dad.
I wasn’t wearing any earrings, so I put the earrings on. I was trying to tie the necklace around my neck when Chase saw me struggling and took it from me. He set my hair on one shoulder.
His fingers brushed on the back of my neck. I felt a shiver, which didn’t go unnoticed by him. He placed the necklace on my neck and clasped it.
“Now it looks more beautiful because you are wearing it,” Chase whispered in my ear.
I closed my eyes to stop myself from bawling my eyes out. He was confusing me by saying things that I always wanted to hear from his lips.
Why was he doing this to my poor heart?
It took me years to get back to my normal life and stop myself from loving him and crying over the time he divorced me.
My mind was a mess and filled with confusion.
“Hailey, are you alright?” Chase asked with concern.
I opened my eyes and stared at him in the eyes. He cupped my face between his strong hands and touched his head with mine.
“Hailey, please for today, for our son’s happiness don’t recall the past,” Chase said, understanding me.
At that moment, I forgot that he was the same person who snatched my happiness and broke my heart. My stupid heart was once again falling for him, and just like last time, I had no control over my heart and my feelings
I didn’t ask him why he divorced me and made me leave with our one-week-old son when everything was going fine between us.
