Pierced Love

by t. h. snyder

  Loudon sees me first and walks over toward me.

  “Zar, I’m sorry. Jill and I were just finishing up here. Let’s grab something to go and take it back to my house. We don’t need to deal with this shit tonight,” He says, pulling me to his side.

  “No Loudon, it’s okay. I can handle it,” I tell him, walking out of his grasp.

  As I walk toward Jill, I hear Loudon say, “Zar.”

  I want to let this rest, I really do, but I need to stand tall and stop the lies others want to spread and believe about me that are so untrue.

  I stop and stand as tall as I can with my short five foot 3 inch stature. She’s giving the death glare, but there’s no way I’m letting her win this battle.

  “Jill, you don’t know me. You’ve only met me twice. Tell me what makes you think that I’m not good enough for Loudon or your other friends. You have no idea what I’ve dealt with in my life or what it’s like to have people judge you based on lies and rumors. Don’t think for a second that just because someone tells you they know what happened, that it will be true. I’m sorry if me being with Loudon isn’t what you want, but it’s what I want. So get used to seeing me with him and being in Ames a lot more often.”

  My body is shaking and I’m not sure if it’s from the fear of what Jill will do next or from what I just said to her. I look back at Loudon and his mouth is hanging wide open. I turn and look at Jill and she lets out a huge sigh.

  “Zar, you’re right I don’t know you and to be completely honest I don’t care to know you. What I do want is for you to stay away from me and L.C. I can tell that the two of you are wrapped up in a warped bubble that I can’t break, so to hell with you both. L. C. if this is what you want, go, have at it. I don’t need you or her shit.”

  I watch as Jill walks right past me and Loudon. He comes over to me and pulls me into his arms.

  “I’m so sorry, Zar, she’s just being a bitch. It’s really nothing new for her. She just wants to make my life miserable and right now you are the prime target she wants to attack. There’s nothing I can say about her or to her right now to try and make this go away.”

  “Loudon, none of this is your fault. Please don’t feel that way. I’ll agree with you though when you say she’s acting like a bitch, she has some serious issues going on and I think it’s time she lets you go, cause I sure as hell won’t.”

  “I’m so glad you said that. I’m proud of you tonight. As much as I wanted to break up your conversation, I can’t believe the way you stuck up for yourself. You need to do that more often. There’s a fighter inside of you and it’s time you let her out. Show people who you really are and don’t let them take you down anymore.”

  “Thanks Loudon, that means a lot to me.”

  “I’ve told you before; I’m here for you, Zar. If I have to take down an entire senior class, I’d do it for you in a heartbeat.”

  “So tell me this, hero. If I screamed for you to come save me, even in your sleep, would you come find me?” I ask, starring up into his bright green eyes.

  He looks down at me and blinks a few times. Taking his good time answering my question, I jab him in the rib and he lets out a loud laugh.

  “Of course I would,” he says in between a laugh and cough.

  “But how, you’d be asleep?” I reply.

  “Because whether I’m awake or asleep, you’re my favorite dream.”

  “That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

  “Well it’s the truth Zar. Ever since I saw you in the pizzeria I knew I needed to see you again. It was just pure fate that you were at my house that night. I couldn’t have planned it any better even if I wanted too; it was ridiculous luck that you came into my life. You and I were meant to find each other and now that we have, we’ll need to stick together.”

  I smile at him as I look up into his eyes again. They are the most amazing green I’ve ever seen and I could seriously stare at them all day getting lost.

  “You are so good to me Loudon, thank you.”

  He bends down to kiss my lips and I wrap my arms around his waist.

  This guy makes me feel stronger than I ever have before. He gives me the courage to take on things that I’d otherwise walk away from. Loudon has helped me bring back the girl that was lost and I’m so glad to have her back.

  “Come on, let’s grab that pizza and take it home,” he says.

  “No.”

  “No?” He asks with a questioning glance.

  “I want to eat here, let’s not let Jill ruin our night out. I still want to eat in the pizzeria with you and get that tour of Ames. Since this will be my home for the next four years. I might as well get the grand tour from one of the locals.”

  “Okay doll, if you say so. You continue to amaze me. Every day you do something to show me how much stronger you’ve become. I like this feisty side of you.”

  “Well, just don’t piss me off.”

  “Never,” he replies.

  We walk together around the corner and into the pizzeria. Rather than waiting to sit on the restaurant side we go up to the counter and order a large pizza and two drinks. We take a seat in one of the booths and talk until our food is done.

  For the next hour we just spend time together talking about life and what we plan on doing next year as college freshmen.

  Both of us will be starting Iowa State early.

  Since Loudon is a shoe in to start as a freshman on the basketball team, he needs to get a head start to practice.

  As for me I’ve accepted early admissions and will be knocking out a few prerequisite classes to get the ball rolling.

  It will be amazing to have him close to me, but only time will tell what will happen with our relationship status.

  No matter if we’re meant to be couple or just really good friends, I’m more than grateful that he’s now a part of my life.

  Through the past few years I’ve struggled with who I am and who I want to be.

  At a young, immature age I was put down and made to feel like something was wrong with me. The pain and hurtful words, actions, and assaults of my peers were unbearable.

  Looking back I wish I had reached out earlier to someone and shared what was happening to me. Whether it would have been my parents or a school counselor, having someone to listen and support me could have made all the difference.

  I know I can’t bring back time and change the past, but what I can do is help others that are dealing with the same struggles.

  I now have the support to move on with my life.

  I now have the strength to break down the walls of pain I’ve built.

  I now have hope for a better tomorrow.

  It’s time to let that girl take over and start fresh.

  I, Zar Evans, have a pierced love that no one can deny, take away or destroy.

  “Zar, someone is at the door,” Raeghyn shouts to me.

  Geez, I’m in the bathroom packing, can’t she get the door.

  I stumble over my bags and reach for the doorknob.

  Walking out of the bathroom I see that my roommate, Raeghyn, is painting her toenails on her bed.

  “You couldn’t get up and get the door?” I ask.

  “Actually, no. Not that I don’t want to get the door and see dimple boy, but I’m kind of busy right now,” she says with a laugh.

  I really do love my roommate, but she can drive me nuts too.

  Giving her a smirk, I move toward the door of our dorm room and open it to find my guy. Without saying a word, he walks in and picks me up swinging me around in circles.

  “Hey doll, did you miss me?” He asks while putting me down and kissing my forehead.

  “How could she have time to miss you? We just saw you last night,” Raeghyn says.

  I laugh into Loudon’s chest and wrap my arms around his waist.

  “Of course, I missed you. I always miss you when we are apart.”

  “I love the both of you, but you’re starting to make me gag over he
re,” Raeghyn says with a laugh.

  I watch as she hops off her bed and heads to the bathroom.

  “Hang on a second,” I yell running toward her, “I haven’t finished packing up my stuff and it’s a mess in here.”

  “Zar, we’ll only be gone for a few days and you live less than an hour away. Why the hell are you packing up our bathroom?” She asks.

  “Because I don’t want to forget anything,” I reply.

  I grab my bags and toss them outside of the bathroom.

  “You ladies about ready?” Loudon asks.

  “Umm, no. It doesn’t look like Raeghyn has even started to pack her stuff and I have to finish grabbing the bathroom stuff.”

  “Ya know, as much as I hate to admit it, Raeghyn does have a point. We’re only gonna be away for a few days and if you forget something I’m sure your mom will have it at the house.”

  I roll my eyes at him and move in closer so that I can put my arms around him.

  “Yeah I know. I just like to be prepared,” I reply

  “You’re so cute when you’re all stressed out,” Loudon says, before placing his lips against mine.

  I love being his arms as much today as I did the first night he held me.

  We’ve been through a lot the past year and I wouldn’t take back a second of it with this guy. No matter what struggles I faced, he was by my side the entire way.

  I’ve experienced all of my firsts with him.

  He was my first kiss, my first best friend and boyfriend. Even though I haven’t told him yet, he’s also my first true love.

  I don’t know where I’d be without him.

  He walks us over to my bed and I fall into him.

  I allow my body to press firmly against his.

  Our kiss starts off slow and innocent, but, just as it always does, it gets heated quickly.

  I hear Raeghyn giggle coming out of the bathroom and I roll off of Loudon and onto my side.

  “Damn you two, get a room,” she says.

  “Umm, this is her room, smarty pants,” Loudon says, trying to pull me back on top of him.

  “Yeah and mine too, so keep it PG over there,” Raeghyn says, throwing her pillow in our direction.

  “Alright, alright,” I squeal, “I need to finish packing anyway. Are you almost ready to go?” I ask her trying to squirm out of Loudon’s arms.

  “Yep, since you already loaded our bathroom into your bag all I need to do is pack up a few things here and I’ll be ready.”

  I finally break free of Loudon’s arms and stand from my bed.

  “Well while you two are finishing up, what stuff can I take down to the car? We should get going soon, the rehearsal starts in a few hours.”

  “You can take the bag by the door if you want. I’ll push Raeghyn along and we’ll be done in fifteen minutes.”

  “Perfect, I’ll take this down and be back in a few minutes.”

  He leans down to me and kisses my lips softly with his. I wink back and him and push him through the door.

  As soon as I shut the door Raeghyn starts in with the third degree.

  “Ok lady, are you going to tell him? Because if you don’t do it soon, the sexual tension in our room is going to blow out the windows.”

  “Shut up Raeghyn. I’ll tell him soon. It’s not like he doesn’t know.”

  “You may think he knows, but until he hears you say it nothing more is going to happen,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows.

  “Would you just finish getting ready and leave me and my love life alone,” I say, shoving my last few items in my suitcase.

  Raeghyn just laughs and me and starts to fill up her bag with her clothes for the weekend.

  In a few hours we’ll be joining the Evans and Clarke families to celebrate the night before Zeke and Allie get married.

  I’m more than excited to be a part of their special day. For the past few years, I’ve seen the love and loyalty they share and, tomorrow, they will make their commitment to one another official.

  The day couldn’t be planned out more perfect. Mom, Marilyn and Allie have done just about everything to create the most beautiful day.

  Since this is a fall wedding Allie and Zeke chose to go with a harvest theme. The color of the bridesmaid dresses is a shear cream and wine that matches the vests of the groomsman. Loudon and I are both in the wedding and have been paired up as the matron of honor and best man. I’m so excited about all of this, I just can’t wait.

  To think that my outlook on life was so dark, weak and sheltered a year ago, it’s really sad. I can’t believe I allowed myself to be so removed from my family, friends and society. Since I was able to share my experiences with my parents, Loudon and the doctors, I’ve also joined a few programs for bullied teens. It’s a rewarding opportunity to speak to other kids about their struggles, fears and see how they are able to turn their lives around.

  It’s become such a big part of my life that I’ve chosen to change my major to psychology with a focus on youth and adolescent development. I’ve come a long way in the past few months and I can only look forward to what lies ahead for me.

  I couldn’t be happier with how things have turned out; I have the most supportive family, an amazing college roommate and the perfect boyfriend.

  “Ok lady, I’m all ready to go. Are you?” Raeghyn asks pulling me out of my trance.

  “Yep, all set,” I reply.

  “Good, let’s get downstairs with these bags before Loudon comes up here to molest you again.”

  I smack her in the back of the head and we both start to laugh.

  We grab our bags and take one last glance around the room before heading out on our way to Des Moines.

  “It’s about time you guys got down here, I was about to send up the troops to find you two.”

  “Please, it’s your girl friends fault. She fell into one of her Loudon induced comas and I had to smack her out of it.”

  “Look at him, can you blame me?” I ask, blowing a kiss in his direction and giving him a wink.

  “Shot gun!” Raeghyn squeals and runs toward the car.

  “Yeah, nice try Raegi Bear, but my girl gets to sit in the front seat.”

  “Whatever, assface,” she replies, with a pout.

  I shake my head at the banter between my two favorite people as Loudon picks up our bags and loads them into the trunk of his Mustang.

  The three of us pile into the car and make our way to my hometown.

  Lucky for us, we hit little to no traffic and we’re able to make it to the church in plenty of time before the rehearsal.

  The church was decorated beautifully and I was in absolute awe of how well things were going. We ran through the ceremony a few times until all of us felt comfortable with our places for tomorrow. During certain parts of the mass, I caught Loudon looking in my direction and I couldn’t help but smile. The way he makes me feel is just absolutely incredible. I love him so much and I can’t wait to tell him how strong my feelings really are for him.

  When we first officially started dating we agreed that we would take things slow. There was no rush since we felt our relationship was strong to start with. Loudon did everything he could to show me how much he wanted to be with me from taking me out, staying in for a movie and holding me close. I feel so safe with him and I only hope that one day we, too, can have a future like Zeke and Allie.

  “Okay doll, you ready to go to the club?” Loudon asks, pulling me into his arms.

  “Yeah, I’m starved, I reply.

  “Me too,” Raeghyn says, making her way in between us, “I want some loving too.”

  The three of us laugh and Loudon wraps his arms around both of us.

  “You three are nuts,” Allie says, pulling Zeke up behind her, “you guys better hurry, last one to the club as to buy a round of drinks.”

  “Shit, let’s go, girls,” Loudon says grabbing our arms and pulling us through the church and out to the parking lot.

  The rest of the night goes by
just perfectly and since mom and dad were the last ones there, they got stuck with the bar tab. Once we were full and the adults were feeling tipsy the guys and girls went their separate ways.

  As much as I wanted to fall asleep in Loudon’s arms, I knew we would have to stay in separate houses….me with the girls and him with the guys. Good thing though because tomorrow is a big day and I want to be sure I’m good and rested.

  Once back at my parent’s house, Raeghyn and I get ourselves situated and climb into bed. I send a text to Loudon letting him know I’m thinking of him and roll onto my side falling into a deep sleep.

  BEEP, BEEP, BEEP

  “Damn it to hell, lady, turn that damn thing off,” Raeghyn shouts, hitting me in the head with a pillow.

  “Knock it off…I’m up,” I shout back and turn off my alarm.

  I roll onto my back and see my bedroom door swing open. In walks Zoe with two mugs of steaming hot coffee.

  “Ahh, there’s my favorite fake sister,” Raeghyn says with a smile.

  “Thought you two could use a cup before we head to the salon to get our hair done,” Zoe says.

  “Good thinking, sis,” I reply.

  “Come on girls, we need to get moving, “I hear mom yell from downstairs.

  “Ugh, let’s go ladies. Time to go get beautiful for the big day,” I say pulling the covers off of me and stepping out of the bed.

  We do our best to get showered and dressed as quickly as possible so that we can make it to our appointments on time. The entire morning we are going from place to place to get our hair, nails and makeup done. I’ve never felt so pampered in my entire life, but hey…I won’t complain.

  The stretch limo bus picks us up and takes us to the church an hour before the ceremony. I can tell that Allie is happy, excited and nervous all at the same time. I sure as hell can’t blame her. Today is a big day for her and I know she wants everything to be perfect.

  The closer we get to the hour of the wedding the more excited I feel to see Loudon. Today is all about Zeke and Allie, but I know what I want to share with him will make it that much more special to us.

  People are starting to scatter everywhere. The photographer is snapping pictures left and right, the wedding planner is running around like a mad man and I think for a moment I caught my mom and Marilyn doing shots out of a flask.