“Why does anyone kill? Why does he kill what he loves? Anna, you can kill only those you love.
“Anna, do you know what goes on in people’s minds? Do you know that? Can you look into their heads, into their hearts? I’d been locked up all my life, locked up.
“And suddenly a new world opened up to me, a new life. Do you know what that’s like?
“I tell you, we’re lonely all our lives. We’re alone when we come into the world, we die alone. And in between I was caught in my body, caught in my longing.
“I tell you, there’s no God in this world, only Hell. And Hell is here on Earth in our heads, in our hearts.
“The demon’s here in every one of us, and every one of us can let our demons out at any time.”
They sat there in silence.
After a while he stood up and went to his bedroom.
He has taken his old pistol out of the drawer in the bedside table. Now the gun lies cold and heavy in his hand.
Everything has fallen away from him. He just sits there, sits there calmly.
Christ hear us,
Christ, hear our prayer!
Lord have mercy,
Christ have mercy!
Lord, have mercy upon us,
Christ have mercy upon us!
Lord, hear my prayer
and let my cry come unto Thee!
Amen!
The Murder Farm Page 10
