Jules laughed at Keegan’s story as they walked through the door into Erik’s home. They’d had a great dinner, talked about everything and anything, shared a few drinks, and managed not to bring up the one sore spot between them.
Jules found it amazing that after four dates with Keegan over the past ten days, they still found new subjects to discuss.
Guess that’s what happens when you date men instead of boys.
Keegan might be soft-spoken when they were out in public but he had a dry wit she adored. They could talk for hours and never repeat themselves or fall into an awkward silence.
The only time that happened was when Erik’s name came up. Then she’d felt they were missing a vital piece of the puzzle of their relationship.
“Sounds like you two had a good time tonight.”
Erik smiled as he walked into the front room to meet them and her heart did a little happy dance as she turned toward his voice.
He’s here. Now we’re complete.
She crossed the room to wrap her arms around his waist and lift her face to his for a kiss.
When his lips settled on hers, he practically took her breath away. Pure domination laced with burning lust. She felt seared through, her lungs singed and every nerve ending energized.
When he finally let her up for air, she could only blink up at him for several seconds as he stepped away.
Did his smile look a little forced?
“We did,” Keegan answered Erik’s questions, walking over to stand by Jules’ side and casually pulling her back against his chest, holding her there with one arm around her chest. “What’d you do all night?”
Erik didn’t answer right away, his gaze tracking Keegan’s movements before he looked up at his face. “Kept busy. Caught up on paperwork. Where’d you go tonight?”
“Viva. Good food. Nice and intimate.”
A tiny muscle in Erik’s jaw started to twitch and now she knew his smile was forced. “Good. So, either of you want a drink?”
“Not for me, thanks,” Jules said. “I probably had enough at dinner.”
“Keegan?”
Keegan shook his head. “I’m good.”
Well, okay, then. They were all good. Now what?
Erik nodded, his expression pulling into a stiff mask that made his scars seem more prominent. His unscarred cheek had a slight red tinge and she wondered if he’d been drinking before they’d arrived. She hadn’t tasted alcohol when he kissed her but…
And what would it matter if he had? He was a grown man. He didn’t have to answer to anyone.
Including her.
“Then I guess I’ll be drinking alone.”
Was she imagining the hard edge she now heard in his voice? Why had this suddenly turned difficult?
The first night she and Keegan had gone out alone had been a little awkward but they’d managed to get through it before they’d hurried back to Erik’s and spent several hours in bed. They’d repeated that the second date last Friday and again on Monday.
By Monday’s date, however, she and Keegan hadn’t mentioned Erik once. Which had made her feel disloyal.
Except he’d said this arrangement was what he wanted. He’d pushed the two of them to go out without him, to show the world they were a happy little couple, not some freak show with three heads.
But here, in the privacy of Erik’s house, they could get their freak on all they wanted.
And they did. So much so, Jules would bet they’d broken the record for most orgasms in one night.
It’d be totally amazing…if she didn’t feel like Erik was slipping farther into the shadows. Backsliding.
And they were allowing him to do it.
Erik poured himself a glass of whiskey from the bar across the room and took a healthy swallow before turning back to them.
With a little nudge from Keegan, Jules headed for the couch. Keegan kept going and sat on the chair opposite her.
There was definitely something up with him tonight and it made her stomach curl in on itself.
If this night was like the rest, they’d have a drink—or Erik would have a drink—then they’d head up to Erik’s bedroom and make love for hours.
Since it was Friday and she had the day off tomorrow, she’d taken Erik’s advice and packed a bag. Just a small one but her mom had known what she had in it. She hadn’t said anything but Jules had seen that hint of worry in her eyes.
At least she wasn’t making herself sick over how she was going to pay the bills and keep them in their home.
Keegan had grinned when he saw the bag but he hadn’t said anything about it. He’d taken it from her and put it in the backseat. Where it remained, she realized. Keegan hadn’t brought it in with them.
Oversight? Or had he done it deliberately? She wasn’t sure what was going on in Keegan’s head but it was increasingly obvious that something was.
Erik could sense it as well, and his confusion was quickly turning to frustration. Walking over to the couch, he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips before sitting on the couch next to her.
Then he stared straight at Keegan.
“Want to tell me what’s going on?”
With Erik sitting so close to her, she felt how tightly he was holding himself. As if he was waiting for a blow.
A swirl of confusion settled low in her belly and she turned to Keegan. His expression made her want to reach out and stroke away the lines of tension around his eyes. She hadn’t seen them during dinner, when it’d just been the two of them. Now…
Her lungs felt tight, almost as if they weren’t working correctly.
Suddenly Keegan stood. “I’m not staying. I’m sorry, Jules. I just…” He stopped and ran a hand through his hair. “I just don’t think I’d be very good company tonight. Dinner was amazing. Thank you for going with me. But…I think it’s better if I leave.”
She wanted to protest, wanted to reach for his hand and tell him not to go. Not because she didn’t want to be alone with Erik but because she wanted them both. Together.
She felt something intangible starting to tear apart at the seams.
Erik’s eyes narrowed and he rose to his feet as well. “Why?”
“I just told you.” Keegan spoke slowly, a hint of an edge in every word. “I don’t think I’ll be good company tonight.”
“Did something happen? Something between you and—”
“This has nothing to do with Jules.”
Erik’s frown held a world of confusion. “Then what the hell’s going on with you? You’ve been miserable at work this past week. You don’t talk much, and when you do, it’s like pulling teeth.”
“I’ve had a lot on my mind.”
“Yeah, so have I, but I’m not acting like a dick.”
“No, you’re retreating again.” Keegan’s tone started to rise and the hair on Jules’s neck stood on end. “Well, I’m sick of playing this game, Erik. I’m sick of watching you curl back into your hole, where you can hide and everyone comes to you instead of you coming out to meet them.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the fact that after one date, you decided, for the three of us, that it would be better if I dated Jules. And you know, I’m not complaining. Not one fucking bit because there is no one else I would rather see.”
Erik shook his head, true confusion starting to replace the anger. “Then what the hell’s going on?”
“I have bent over backward to make this work.” Keegan turned toward the door and started to walk away before turning on his heel and getting in Erik’s face. “But it’s not. Because you’re still broken.”
Jules cringed as Erik’s eyes widened. He looked like Keegan had slapped him. “What the fuck—”
“Don’t. Don’t fucking deny it. I thought you were starting to come out of that hole you’d dug for yourself two years ago. The one that I allowed you to build, so yeah, I’ll take some of the blame for this. Hell, a month ago I would’ve taken
all the blame. But I’m not going to. Not anymore.”
“I’m not living in a goddamn hole. I’m living my life the best way I know how to right now. I saw the way people looked at me that night we took Jules to dinner. I saw how they looked away. But did you notice how they looked at Jules? Did you even fucking care? No, you didn’t. And you know why? Because your guilt is always right there. You wear it like a fucking badge of shame. You’ve got quite the fucking martyr complex, don’t you?”
Both men were breathing like freight trains, staring each other down. Jules realized she was holding her own breath and sucked in air.
“Don’t try to turn this back on me.” Keegan sliced his hand through air. “If you really wanted to live your life, you’d grow a pair and come out with us.”
“That’s what this is about?” Erik looked dumbfounded. “Seriously, you’re pissed because I didn’t come out with you and Jules on your dates?”
“No, you know that’s not it. You’re deliberately misunderstanding me.”
“Then explain it so the feeble-minded among us can understand.”
Keegan pulled back as if Erik had punched him. “Is that what you believe I think about you? That you’re somehow mentally diminished because of the explosion?”
Erik’s hands curled into fists at his sides, and Jules wanted to reach for him, wrap her hands around his, and make him uncurl his fingers. She wanted to step between them and make them stop but she was afraid they might not even see her.
“Isn’t that exactly what you think? You’ve been treating me like a fucking invalid for years—”
“Because that’s how you acted. God damn it, Erik—”
“No.” Erik held up one hand. “Just…enough. It’s bad enough you finally got the nerve to say exactly what you’re thinking, but that you did it in front of Jules makes it so much worse.”
Erik turned to her and she saw a torrent of pain and anger in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Jules. I think it’s probably best if Keegan takes you home tonight. I don’t think I’ll be in the right frame of mind to entertain.”
“Erik—”
She and Keegan spoke at the same time but Erik cut them both off.
“That’s it. I’m done. You’ve said what you wanted to say. Apparently you’ve bottled that up for a few years. Do you feel better now, Keegan? I fucking hope so.”
Erik turned to face Jules then and he wiped away the furious look on his face for her. But he couldn’t rid himself of the deeper flush on his cheeks. That flush highlighted his scars and made her chest ache.
He’d never be without them. She knew that.
And maybe, just maybe, he was too damaged emotionally to ever have a normal relationship again.
“I’m sorry for trying to spare you drama we’d cause whenever we went out together, all three of us. It’d be a circus. You know that, Jules. We were both too fucking selfish to give you up. I honestly thought this was the best solution for all of us. Obviously, I was wrong.”
“Erik, stop.” She heard the pleading in her voice but couldn’t stop. “Why don’t we all take a deep breath and sit down and talk about this.”
Erik just shook his head. “I think we’re beyond that, babe. And I’m truly sorry.”
Then he bent over the couch, over her, and sealed their lips together. “Let Keegan take you home. I’ll talk to you soon.”
With one last, burning look at Jules, Erik turned and walked out of the room.
AN INDECENT PROPOSITION
PART V
Chapter One
“You need to go back. You need to talk to him.”
Keegan’s hands tightened on the steering wheel as he drove Jules home. He heard her voice through the pounding of his pulse in his ears, heard the concern. Still, he shook his head.
“No. He made himself clear enough. He doesn’t want to talk to me and he can be damn stubborn when he’s angry.”
Silence descended, so thick he swore he felt it press against his skin.
He glanced at Jules to find her staring at him with wide eyes.
“Angry? Are you serious?” She sounded shocked. “You practically tore his heart out. How can you not see how hurt he was?”
Because Erik wasn’t hurt. Erik didn’t get hurt anymore. The scar tissue from the burns had toughened him, inside and out.
Keegan’s chest tightened but he forced himself to say, “He’s not hurt. He’s pissed because I told him the truth. Everyone’s let him wallow for too damn long. Revenge is going to eat at him and warp him until there’s nothing left of the old Erik and I can’t watch him do that.”
“Then you have to help him.”
Frustration tasted like acid in his throat. “Do you think I haven’t tried? Do you think I don’t want the bastard who did this to him to rot in jail? Of course I do. But if I tell Erik to send the information Katrina dug up to police, he’ll say no.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yeah, I do. He wants to go after Eggert himself. You haven’t known Erik as long as I have, Jules. You don’t know him like I do.”
She fell silent again and he felt her tension ratchet up another notch.
Sonuvabitch. You’re an idiot. Are you fucking trying to alienate her?
Between this tension with Erik and the uncertainty with Jules, his head was spinning. What the fuck was wrong with him? His stomach rolled and his fingers began to ache with the force of his hold on the steering wheel.
“Shit, Jules, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“No.” She held up one hand and he bit off the rest of his words. “No, you’re right. I don’t know either of you as well as you know each other. But have you considered that maybe you’re too close to the situation to see it clearly?”
He wanted to growl, he was so fucking frustrated. Yes, he was too damn close to the situation. He and Erik had known each other too long and cared for each other too damn much not to be.
He loved the guy like a brother, their lives entangled in so many ways. He couldn’t imagine going to the lab and not working beside him or spend a weekend without catching a meal or hanging out. Just the thought created a knot in his stomach.
Since the accident, their relationship had become even more complicated as they spent more time together. Other friends had drifted away. Some because of Erik’s accident, some because they just hadn’t done enough to keep them close.
And then they’d added Jules to the mix…
Jesus.
He took a deep breath. “What I think is that Erik just needs a few days to cool off. Katrina laid a huge amount of shit on him all at once. He needs to process.”
“And then what?” Jules’s disbelief came through loud and clear. “You think he’ll just decide that you’re right and that’s the end of it?” She paused. “Would you?”
No, of course he wouldn’t.
Still… “He just needs some time. Kat waylaid him—”
“No.” She turned more fully in her seat toward him. “You know this isn’t his sister’s fault, right? She’s just the messenger.”
One who hated him enough to try to screw up his relationship with Erik. “Who’d be more than thrilled if Erik and I never worked together again.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“I know it. She told me as much after Erik decided he wasn’t going through with any more operations.”
“Well, obviously he didn’t listen to her because you two are still in business together.”
Yeah, they were.
But for how long?
Christ, had just a few words completely screwed up their working and personal relationships?
Damn Katrina—
No. No, he knew that wasn’t fair. As much as he’d like to blame Erik’s sister for this, he knew it wasn’t her fault. Not all of it.
She loved Erik. At least as much as she could love anyone, she loved her brother. And Erik had always been protective of her. Erik had bit his tongue when he and Kat
rina had started to date. And when they’d gotten engaged, the only thing Erik had said was, “You better be really sure you know what you’re doing because if you hurt her…”
He’d left the rest unsaid, but Keegan had known what Erik meant.
And when he and Katrina had called it off, Keegan had expected Erik to call off their fledgling partnership.
He hadn’t, though, but that was only because Kat had told him not to. At least she’d been able to get past the bitterness that had consumed her to see that what he and Erik were building was better than anything they could have made apart, and they’d gone on to build TinMan into the company it was today.
Keegan had to believe they’d survive this as well.
“Keegan?”
He sliced Jules a quick glance, saw the worry in her eyes…and realized he wasn’t the only one with something to lose here.
“Yes?”
“Promise me you’ll go back and check on him. As soon as you drop me off.”
“I plan to.” The words dropped out of his mouth immediately and he knew he hadn’t said them just because she wanted him to.
Her mouth twitched into a sad smile that quickly faded. “Good.”
He grabbed her hand lying on her thigh. “Don’t worry. We’ll figure this out.”
Her smile reappeared for an even shorter amount of time. “I hope so.”
Hating the worry he heard in her voice, he squeezed her hand. “He’s stubborn, not stupid. We’ll get through this. Just…don’t abandon us.”
Her fingers slipped between his and clung. “Of course not.”
But she looked less than reassured when he forced a smile for her.
And the pit in his stomach opened a little wider.
They reached her house minutes later, the silence widening the chasm growing between them. A chasm he didn’t know how to fix. He had way too much stuff running through his head right now.
Most of the house was dark; the only light he could see shone through the window next to the front door. Jules’s mom was probably already in bed. It was close to midnight and most of the houses on the street were dark.
The growing need to turn around and drive back to Erik’s made every muscle in his body tighten. They should hash this out now. The three of them. Together.
An Indecent Proposition Complete ARe Page 23
