by Holly Bush
“Do you girls understand what has happened?” Louise Somerset had asked them,
red-faced.
They’d all nodded, although looking back it was clear she hadn’t quite understood.
“Marabelle’s cousin Eliza had relations with a man before she was married. That is a sin before God most of all, but it is also a blight on that poor young lady’s name that will never be removed.”
“Why is Eliza only to blame? The man was there, or it wouldn’t have happened,” Emmaline had asked.
“Because it is a woman’s duty to guard herself. Guard her . . . body and her chasteness. Women’s innocence is expected.”
“They are married now, though,” Jane had said. “It all worked out for the best.”
“But that is my point, girls,” Louise had replied. “It does not always, or mostly, work out for the best for the woman involved.”
“That’s not fair,” Emmaline had said.
Louise had turned to her and spoken sharply. “Of course, it isn’t fair. Many things are not. But unmarried women who deliver a child are almost always looked at as less than respectable and unmarriageable. It is uncomfortable for the girl’s family as well. Even Marabelle’s mother, Eliza’s aunt, was being asked questions at the Ladies Meeting last week.”
“What could Mrs. Winston be guilty of?” Emmaline asked. “She is an aunt only, and Eliza’s family lives in Middletown.”
“Mother’s point is that the actions of one family member can cast a shadow on other family members who are perfectly innocent, even obviously innocent, yet it is the way of things,” Jane had said softly.
Emmaline looked up sharply from her memories as her mother shook her shoulder gently and leaned close to her face.
“Emmaline, darling. What is wrong? You are crying.”
“Mother. I have to tell you something,” Emmaline said and felt light-headed as she did. She clung to the edge of the table, twisting the lace cloth. “I . . . I’m . . .”
The door to the dining room flew open and Betsy came in, hand in hand with a blushing Edwin Crawper. “Mother! Edwin has asked me to marry him and I have agreed!” She began to cry as Louise gathered her in her arms.
“I am so happy for you!” Louise said and pulled Edwin close and kissed his cheek. “A new member of our family! How wonderful!”
Jane and their longtime cook, Helen, came from the kitchen and both hugged Betsy. The youngest Somerset, Phillip, wanted to know what all the commotion was and shook Edwin’s hand. Louise dispatched Phillip to tell his sister Nettie to bring her husband, John, and the children on Saturday night for a celebration and told him to hurry back as he’d have to go to Paradise to invite his brother, Jim, and Olivia, as they lived with Olivia’s family while their new home was being built.
Emmaline smiled, as she was really very happy for her sister and thought the tall, shy Edwin perfect for her. But she was dangerously close to bursting into tears, something that would alert her family that there was something wrong with her other than some bad pickles as Emmaline never, ever cried. She’d cried when her father died, though, as she’d sat alone in the woods behind the house, leaning against an oak tree. No one had seen her, and she’d wiped her face thoroughly before going back into the house.
CHAPTER 2
Emmaline woke with a start, her mother and Nettie leaning over her, Nettie fanning her with towels and her mother wiping her forehead with a cool rag. She was in her bedroom on the bed and beginning to piece together how she came to be lying there in her good dress. Betsy and Edwin’s party to celebrate their engagement! Now she remembered. But why . . .
“You fainted, darling,” her mother said softly, worry lining her face.
“Is something hurting you?” Nettie asked. “Your stomach? Your head?”
Emmaline looked at her eldest sister. There really was no turning back now. It had to be said. She was not well. “I need to speak to mother alone, Nettie.”
Nettie’s brow wrinkled, and she cocked her head to one side. “Yes. Yes, of course. Let me know if you need anything.” She glanced to their mother.
“Most everyone will be leaving, Nettie. Please see the guests off for me,” Louise Somerset said as she continued to stare at Emmaline. She swallowed visibly.
Emmaline heard the door close and sat up with her mother’s help. “Please sit down beside me, Mother.”
She sat down slowly and gathered Emmaline’s hands into her lap. She was bracing herself for whatever came next, Emmaline imagined. But was it possible to brace yourself against this sort of thing? The humiliation? The worry? Some whisper of joy faintly heard and somehow adding to the weight of the guilt she carried? She looked up from her thoughts, realizing she’d been staring off, while her mother waited for some disastrous news. But it was surely better for her mother and for everyone before they knew her news, yet it could not wait a minute longer.
“I’m going to have a child.”
Louise stared at her, smiled faintly, and shook her head. “Who is having a child?”
“I am. I am going to have a baby.”
“How can that be?” Louise asked softly and touched her cheek. “You’re not married.”
Emmaline stared at her mother and licked her lips. “I’m not married but I am with child, Mother.”
Louise shook her head but then her eyes widened and darted from side to side. Her mouth opened and closed. “Emmaline? That means you have had . . .”
But her mother couldn’t complete the sentence. Emmaline took a deep breath and looked away. “I am with child.”
“Who is the father? He must be made to marry you at once!” Louise whispered.
She shook her head. “No. There will be no marriage.”
“But you must!”
“I will not. Don’t ask me again.”
“I will have Jim speak to the young man. Who is he?”
“No one will speak to him. I will not marry him. I won’t compound one mistake with a second.”
Her mother was red-faced and breathing quickly, wringing her hands in her lap. She was as angry as Emmaline had ever seen her.
* * *
“AND WHAT HAVE I lectured to you girls, time and again? What were you thinking, Emmaline? What could you have possibly been thinking?” Louise stood then, paced the room, stopping to turn to the bed. “What will you do?”
Emmaline swallowed. “I am hoping you will continue to allow me to live here. At least until the child is born.”
“Allow it? You are my daughter. You will stay right here,” she said and then whispered. “But there will be difficulties.”
“I know it will be hard for everyone, that’s why I’m going to ask Aunt Madge if I can live with her after the child is born. At least I would be away from here and I could make up a story to tell Aunt. Something about a husband who has died or left me. There will be less talk if I’m not here to remind everyone of my . . . situation.”
“We cannot think of those things now. How far along?”
“Nearly four months. I will keep to my room and the house and perhaps we can forestall the gossips, but we will have to tell the family.” Emmaline looked up and hardened her chin, trying desperately to not think about the look on Jim’s face, or the disappointment in Nettie’s eyes or the embarrassment in Betsy’s.
“Yes. We will, and we had best go do exactly that while everyone is still here. They are all worried about you, especially Betsy.” Louise took a long breath, her shoulders slumping. “We will tell Nettie and Olivia and Betsy and Jane together. Nettie can tell John and I’ll tell Phillip when it’s absolutely necessary. Olivia can tell—”
“No. I will tell Jim myself.”
Her mother nodded. “Come along then if you are feeling up to it.”
Emmaline stood. “I just want the telling to be over. I’ve made myself ill with worry and am terrified I’ve hurt this child.”
Louise walked to her and held her hands tight between them. She looked away for a moment or tw
o and finally turned to her. “I love you, dear. We will do the best we can.”
EMMALINE WATCHED the blood drain from Nettie’s face and the confusion on Betsy, Olivia, and Jane’s faces grow as she told them her news as they sat together in the chairs in front of the fire, Jane sitting on a cushion at her feet. Her mother sat on a chair near the window, staring out at the street.
“How far along are you, Emmaline?” Nettie asked.
“Nearly four months.”
Nettie swallowed and stared back at her. “Brunsville,” she whispered.
Emmaline shook her head, forestalling any more questions or comments. She looked at Olivia. “I would like to tell Jim myself.”
“Of course. I’ll say nothing until you’ve spoken to him.”
She looked at Jane and Betsy. “I’m sorry to bring this down on all of my family but mostly I’m sorry to dampen the excitement over your engagement, Betsy, and you, Jane, may suffer consequences that are unstoppable.”
Betsy shook her head but would not meet her eyes. “Edwin will not judge you. If he did, he would be the wrong husband for me, wouldn’t he?”
Emmaline smiled as much as she was able, but she could see the worry, and maybe anger, in Betsy’s face even as she spoke those foolish words. What would Edwin think?
“It will turn out for the best,” Jane said and stood on her knees in front of Emmaline, reaching for her hands. “It will all work out for the best, won’t it, Mother?”
“It will work out, Jane,” Louise said quietly from her chair. “It will all work out.”
ADAM GENTRY’S appetite had not returned but he was consciously eating his meals knowing that the last few months had made him thinner, and weaker, too, as he substituted whiskey for real food. He’d worked all day in the barns with George, the Paradise stable master, as he’d done all week in preparation for the foaling that would be coming soon, and his arms and shoulders felt it. With eleven foals to be born, everyone would have to be fit and able, including him.
Dinner was nearly done, and he was ready to immediately retire to his rooms as he’d been doing for the last few weeks that he hadn’t been drinking any alcohol. He wondered if he would ever be able to indulge his love of wine again or if he’d forever ruined himself. He didn’t want to be like old Pete, who hung around the stables in Winchester, mucking stalls, carrying wood, or doing whatever would earn him a penny or two to spend at the tavern on watered-down rye or even beer. He’d just put his hands on the arms of the chair he sat in at the head of the table, ready to kiss his mother on the cheek and bid everyone a good evening, when Jim Somerset spoke up.
“I have something to tell you,” Jim said and cleared his throat. “I wish Matt and Annie were here, so I wouldn’t have to repeat it.”
Adam lowered himself back into his chair. Jim was looking at his dinner plate, distracted and pale. Olivia was watching him, staring at him somberly. Her face was lined with worry. His mother was leaning forward in her seat and staring at Jim, concern in her eyes. When Jenny came in to clear dishes, Eleanor shook her head and then rose to close the dining room doors.
“What is it, Jim? We are all family here,” Eleanor said to him and reseated herself.
Adam felt a frisson of apprehension or dread that had his palms sweating: that there was some impending dilemma or drastic change that he would be unable to solve or fix and that had put his normally even-keeled brother-in-law into the state he was in. And now that he thought about it, Jim and Olivia hadn’t been as starry-eyed and giddy with each other as they usually were of late. He’d overheard his mother asking Olivia a few days before if there was something the matter, but his sister had shaken her head and changed the subject. For himself, he would admit that he was just rejoining the living as it were, barely enough to notice someone else’s pain and not be completely blinded by his own.
“We are family here and that’s why we wanted to tell you something before you heard it from others,” Olivia said, not taking her eyes from her husband.
Jim licked his lips and stared at the table’s centerpiece. “My sister Emmaline is expecting a child.”
Eleanor tilted her head. “Emmaline is?”
“Yes.”
“Well, that is very wonderful news,” Eleanor said, never taking her eyes from Jim. “How is she feeling?”
“Mother! I’m not sure we can call it wonderful news,” Olivia said. “Emmaline is devastated and her family, Jim’s family, mine, too, are concerned for her.”
“Devastated is a strong word,” Eleanor said.
“Mrs. Gentry,” Jim said quietly. “She’s not married.”
“She is not,” his mother said. “But the birth of a child is always a blessing, and she’s certainly not the first woman to have found herself in this situation.”
“Emmaline?” Adam said. “Emmaline is expecting?”
“Yes, Adam,” Olivia said, allowing some exasperation to color her words. “Emmaline is expecting.”
“Jim. Who’s the father?” he asked.
Jim looked at him directly. “I don’t know, and she won’t say, although I think Nettie has an idea.” He stood suddenly, pushing his seat back as he stood and making it rock on its back legs until it dropped with a thud. “She won’t tell me”—he ran a hand through his hair—“I want to kill him! Whoever he is!”
Adam, Eleanor, and Olivia were all staring at this giant of a man, ordinarily as gentle as a man could be, red-faced and angry and itching to break something.
“Jim,” Olivia whispered.
“I am taking a walk,” he said. They heard a bang as the front door slammed.
“Mrs. Somerset must be very upset,” Eleanor said. “I didn’t mean to sound flippant, Olivia. I understand it is a dire situation for a young woman. Fortunately, Emmaline has family and friends to support her, but this will surely be a test of her mettle and fortitude. There will be talk.”
Olivia nodded. “Jim and Emmaline are particularly close. He’s very upset as you could see. We’re considering adding on an addition to our house while it’s still being built to include a small apartment where Emmaline could live with her baby, similar to the rooms Matt and Annie had for Ben while he lived with them before he passed on, although she’s talking of moving in with her father’s aunt in New York where she could say that she is a widow.”
“Ah. I hate to see her go so far away,” Eleanor said.
“It is so unfair.” Olivia blew out a breath. “She’s not the only person responsible for this child, but she will bear all the burden.”
“But there will be a child and there can be no happier moment for any woman,” Eleanor said. “We can be concerned and joyous for her.”
Olivia looked at her mother. “You are right, I suppose. I’ve been concentrating entirely on the negative and have failed to see that I will have a new niece or nephew outside of Matt and Annie’s Teddy and Ruth, and Jim’s sister Nettie’s children.”
Eleanor smiled. “Why don’t you stop down to see Matthew and Annie tomorrow, and Teddy and Ruth, too, of course. They always brighten your day. Perhaps Matthew can talk to Jim alone while you speak to Annie.”
“Knowing Matthew, he’ll want to kill someone, too,” Olivia said. “But he may be able to calm Jim down. He hasn’t slept for a week since we found out.”
Adam kissed his mother and sister and went upstairs to his rooms. He undressed and put on a pair of drawstring pants that were soft with washings and a thick robe. He sat down in his chair beside the windows of his room that overlooked the woods. He pulled the footstool up close to his chair and propped his legs on it. He stared out into the darkened landscape as the sun set. Leaf buds were just beginning to be noticeable, and he’d seen deer frolicking in the woods that very morning. Spring was near. Foals would be birthed, and the cycle of life would begin again.
He pictured Emmaline and could hear her sharp wit. She was not a smiling, giggling girl, but she was essentially a happy one, he believed. He doubted she would ever marry or
be satisfied to live out her life with her mother. Emmaline did not suffer fools and he imagined the choices for a beau or a husband in Winchester were slim for a woman like her. Perhaps there was a solution, though.
CHAPTER 3
“What do you think, George?” Adam asked as he stood with the stable master in the wide aisle in the middle of one of the Paradise barns. He smelled the familiar hay and manure and horse surrounding him in the stalls holding the expectant mares and was glad to be there, clear headed and cognizant of the sights, sounds, and energy of the stables. That awareness had been muted by grief and liquor for months, until today it seemed.
“I think Diamond will be the first to drop, Mr. Gentry.”
“I agree. Let’s hope these births are spread over a few weeks. It will be very busy here regardless of when they come, though.”
George nodded. “It will.” He looked up and down at Adam in his dark suit. “I’m thinking you won’t be working out here today but I’m very grateful for the time you’ve spent here lately. I needed your guidance.”
Adam shook his head. “Not my guidance, George. You just needed someone as familiar with this stable as you are to listen to you and work out issues with.”
“No one has your instincts.” George shook his head. “Your brother and sister and mother know the stables, but they don’t make decisions the same as you. You know what to do and how to do it. I’m grateful to have you here. We’ve missed you.”
“Thank you,” he said.
Sometimes it felt as if no one would notice his absence if he were gone. And although it was nice to hear George say those words, it wasn’t quite the same as if a singular person missed him. A singular female person that needed him. Olivia had Jim, and Matt had Annie. Mother had her memories and the house. He missed Josephine with an ache, but she was gone, and he thought what he was about to do would ensure that someone would need him. That someone might miss him.
