I giggled, unable to help myself any longer. “That makes two of us.”
She kept talking; why, I didn’t know. “Ethan really didn’t want to go to college at first. But I asked him to go for one year, and then if he didn’t like it, he could quit. He barely made it through high school, but college is so important nowadays, and…well, his college is paid for, as long as he wants to go, and my father is giving him spending money now and then. I know he wants to see Ethan succeed in college. I never went, except for one summer when I got my CNA certification.” She was getting close to something uncomfortable, so she switched gears. “What made you decide to go to college, Valerie?”
I nodded. “My parents wanted me to go. My grades in high school were pretty good, and I have no idea what I want to do for a living. Right now, my major is undecided, and I have no idea what I want to major in, but my mom and dad think I’ll figure it out in school. Dad said if I don’t go to college, I’ll have no focus and won’t be able to get a decent job.”
“He’s probably right there.” She took another sip of her coffee. “You look pretty tired. Did the two of you get any sleep at all last night?”
She was right. I was tired. “Maybe I will take a nap…if that’s okay with you.”
“Of course.”
“Thank you, Mrs.—is it Miss or Mrs.?” I didn’t want to be presumptuous. I’d barely met the woman, and Ethan’s introduction hadn’t exactly been stellar.
“Which sounds better?” That was weird. I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders.
“Just call me whatever’s easier for you. You can call me June if you’d like. Or even mom if you’re comfortable with that. Brad and Nick call me mom.”
Maybe she didn’t like being called by a title at all, so if she wanted me to call her that, I would. “Okay, mom.” I giggled.
“Sleep tight, Valerie.”
I felt a little awkward calling her mom, but she seemed happy that I’d made that choice. I thought maybe after a little while, it would feel like second nature to call her that. And, if not, I could always call her by her real name. As I drifted off to sleep, my head buried in Ethan’s pillow, I felt myself unable to fully grasp all the surreal happenings of the last twenty-four hours. Little did I know, it wasn’t over yet.
* * *
“Wake up, sleepy head.” Ethan greeted me from his bedroom doorway. “Ready to go to Brad’s?”
How long had I slept? It was still light outside, so it couldn’t have been too late. “Let me at least sit up. What time is it?”
“Two o’clock. You awake enough to go?”
“Well, yeah, but can I at least do my hair?”
He rolled his eyes, but I could tell he was just giving me a hard time. “How many hours will that take?”
I slid out from his bed and slipped into my shoes. “Ten minutes, tops.”
“I’m timing you.”
I stuck out my tongue and then started rifling through my suitcase for my brush. I still couldn’t believe I’d let him see me without makeup earlier. Granted, a lot of it was still on because I hadn’t washed it off the night before, but still… Now I wanted to touch it up, make sure my hair was okay, and I wanted to brush my teeth too. I had a new case of morning breath.
Less than ten minutes later, I was bounding down the stairs. I slid my coat on and said goodbye to mom as we walked out the door.
After we were in the truck, Ethan said, “My mom likes you. That’s good. She doesn’t always like my friends. She never says anything, you know, but I can tell when she doesn’t like one of my friends.”
“I like her too, Ethan.” I left it at that. I could tell Ethan’s mom was a little insecure, and I wasn’t sure why, but she was a nice, loving person, and I couldn’t help but like her back. I didn’t want to discuss his mom with him, though, especially when I wasn’t quite sure what the dynamic of their relationship was.
“And don’t ask what I was doing when I left.”
I felt confused. “I already know what you were doing. You said—”
“I know what I said.” And then I saw that bitter look he’d always had in his eyes surface again. I just shut my mouth. He didn’t want to talk about it, but I wondered why he’d even brought it up now.
A few minutes later, we got to Brad’s house. I steeled myself, hoping my memories of the night before had been exaggerated in my mind. You can do this, Valerie. Yes, I could do it.
* * *
“Hey, guys, I can’t believe I didn’t show you this shit already.” Yeah, Brad was still as hot as he’d been the night before. Only this time, he was literally hot, little beads of sweat forming on his forehead from two hours of playing in the band. It wasn’t as cold in the garage as it had been the night before, but I still could barely understand how he could be that overheated.
He walked across the garage and moved a couple of boxes. Then he opened one and pulled out a bottle of rum. “And I’ve got two twelve-packs of Coke chillin’ in the fridge.” He lowered his voice and got closer to the group. “Mom’s working tonight…leaves around six-thirty, so we can get fuckin’ wasted.”
Ethan slid his guitar so it hung on his back. “Wait a minute. Do you even drink, Val?”
Uh-oh. He’d already figured out my goody-two-shoes nature, and I thought I’d hidden it so well. “Umm…” God, I was going to sound so uncool. “I can be your designated driver.”
“Perfect.” Well, maybe that wasn’t so hard after all.
Brad hid the bottle back in the box and returned to the group. Then Ethan said, “Guys, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” Zane nodded but said nothing. “There’s a reason why Val’s our designated driver. She’s fucking brilliant. And I hate to even admit it, but she figured out something none of us other numbnuts did. The name Bullet? Fucking cool, right?”
“Hell, yeah.”
“Yeah…and it’s taken.”
Brad snarled. “So? I’ve never heard of ‘em, so what?”
“Do you really want somebody’s sloppy seconds?”
Brad started laughing. “Fuck…not when you put it that way.”
“Exactly. So…close your eyes and tell me…what do you think of Fully Automatic?”
Brad and Nick were quiet, so quiet. No. I was sure that meant they hated it. But then Nick nodded his head. Brad was the wild card, though. After a few moments, he said, “Yeah…that’ll work.”
“You don’t sound convinced.”
“I just need some time to try it on…know what I mean?”
“Yeah,” Ethan said, “that’s cool, man.”
Brad slapped him on the back. “Damn straight.”
“So let’s work out this next song.” They spent the next two hours perfecting a song they’d been working on. I hadn’t really noticed any of their lyrics before, but I was able to hear these in scrutinizing detail. And, because their sound was so rockin’, there was no way I was going to criticize their lyrics…but they weren’t deep, and they sounded pretty cliché. There weren’t any sentiments in the words I hadn’t heard dozens of times before. I had gathered from what Ethan had told me before that usually he and Brad wrote their own lyrics to the songs they sang, but this one wound up being a collaboration. I just sat back and listened to them work things out. They got the music down first—solo included—and then started writing the lyrics.
“Down on my knees…how’s that?”
Ethan said, “Yeah, yeah…that’s good, and it rhymes with me too.”
Brad nodded. Zane and Nick were working on percussion, trying to perfect the rhythm of the song while Brad and Ethan sat on two other lawn chairs. I sat next to them both, keeping my mouth shut.
Then Ethan said, “Oh…this is better: ‘I’m begging you please’.”
“Yeah.”
Oh, God…I couldn’t help it anymore. I’d been quiet long enough. “Um…guys…can I give you a suggestion?”
Oh, shit. It had come out of my mouth. I hadn’t been able to stop it. Both of
them grew quiet and looked at me. Ethan said, “Uh…sure.”
I took a deep breath. They were my friends, and there was nothing wrong with constructive criticism, right? Especially if it was given with care. At least that’s what I told myself, so I moved forward. I didn’t want to be harsh or mean, so I just said, “Your music is awesome. It’s so original. Some of the words here, though…they’re kind of…”
“Generic.” Thank goodness Brad said it before I had to. I just nodded my head. “Yeah, you’re right.” He looked at Ethan and then back to me. “Any ideas?”
Oh, double shit. I couldn’t think on the fly. I just knew unoriginal when I heard it. I felt like a ladybug under a magnifying glass. But then it came to me. “Your words are a knife that twist with every breath.”
Ethan smiled. Then he looked skeptical as he started to say, “That’s—”
“Wow. Not perfect, but…I like the metaphor.”
Oh, great. Like Brad needed to look even better to me than he already did. But it couldn’t be helped. He scored points with me—not because he liked my words, but because he knew what a metaphor was.
“Do you care if I use it…even if we change it a bit?”
“No…please.” Ethan didn’t seem too thrilled about it, but he and Brad started working around the knife metaphor and wound up completely changing the words. Suddenly, though, with just that one little suggestion, the words became riddled with meaning, and not just superficial dribble. It was no longer a bunch of words I’d heard a million times before. It went from being okay to being pretty special. And by the time they were done, even Ethan was happy.
Brad’s mom popped in the garage to say goodbye. Brad introduced me to her. I guessed she was a nurse because she was wearing scrubs. She kissed Brad on the cheek and then she noticed me. “I thought it was just the boys tonight.”
“Oh, mom, this is Ethan and Zane’s friend from college—Valerie Quinn.” Wow. He’d remembered my last name too.
“Nice to meet you, Valerie. I’m Barbara. Now, Brad, there’s some leftover turkey and mashed potatoes in the fridge. I wouldn’t complain if you all ate it. Just put the dishes in the dishwasher, please.”
“Thanks, Mrs. P.”
“I need to hurry. Apparently, there are already three women checked in who will probably give birth tonight during my shift. So don’t worry if I’m home later than usual.”
“I won’t, mom.”
“Have fun. Oh, and there are some DVDs in the living room if you want to watch a movie.”
Well, the guys were all over having some chow and watching a horror movie, so we went to the kitchen where everyone pitched in. We sat at the table and ate, and I almost thought they’d forgotten about the bottle of rum in the garage. But as we were rinsing plates and loading the dishwasher, Brad snuck off, returning shortly after with the bottle. Ethan had only been helping half-heartedly and was off in the corner. It looked like he was texting something. If he was interested in me at all, he wasn’t doing a very good job showing it. Brad, on the other hand, wasn’t doing a good job staying off my radar.
We retired to the living room, and someone put in a horror movie. It looked like just another horror movie, and none of us were really watching. Brad had brought out one of the twelve-packs and the bottle of rum. He’d had Nick help by bringing in five glasses filled with ice. Brad poured rum in four of the glasses and then looked at me. “Sure you don’t want just a little? Just enough to get a little buzz?”
His eyes were so warm, so persuasive. Ethan sat up straight on the couch and leaned over, so close I could feel him. As though challenging Brad, he said to me, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
But I trusted Brad, and there was something in his eyes that made me want to say yes. So I said, “Sure…just a little, though. I’m the driver, remember?”
He chuckled. “Okay.” So he poured just a tiny amount in my glass, at least two-thirds less than what he’d poured in everyone else’s cup. Then he poured Coke in each one until the liquid almost touched the rim.
Brad slid the glasses to a position in front of each person. “Bottoms up.” All four of the men drank half of their glass in one gulp.
“You shouldn’t have put ice in ‘em, Bradley. It’s harder to drink.” Ethan smirked at his friend.
“I thought, since we were in the company of a lady, that we should show a little restraint.” I felt myself blush a little.
“Yeah. Whatever. Top me off, pussy.”
Brad’s sense of humor seemed to be dissipating. He handed Ethan the bottle. “Do it yourself, cocksucker.”
“Don’t mind if I do.”
At that point, we did start watching the movie. I’d felt a little tense at the exchange between the two alpha males in the room, but as they downed their drinks, their emotions seemed to die down as well.
It didn’t escape my notice that Brad moved to the other side of me on the couch…and he sat close enough that his leg touched mine.
But Ethan kept talking to me, just making fun of the movie, making me laugh. Nick was on the floor in front of the coffee table, and once in a while, he’d catch a snippet of Ethan’s jokes and bust out laughing. He was getting pretty wasted. Zane was in a chair on the other side of the room.
I hadn’t had much of my drink. I guessed I just wasn’t much of a drinker. And that was okay. Ethan sat up and grabbed a Coke, popping it open. He sat back on the couch and whispered. “How about you trade me your drink for a straight Coke?”
I felt a little relief, and my heart warmed to my sweet Ethan. He must have just sensed that I wasn’t comfortable drinking, and he was going to rescue me. I smiled and switched with him. All the ice in my glass had melted, so he slammed it in just a couple of gulps. He licked his lips and looked me straight in the eye. “Best one I’ve had all night.”
Was he just teasing me? He winked and then leaned forward again, this time pouring more rum in his glass but foregoing the Coke.
Nick started giggling. “Oh, shit. This girl’s gonna get killed.”
Zane said, “Yeah…we saw her tits five minutes ago. Of course, she’s gonna die.”
The girl in the film had been jogging through the woods but then discovered she was being followed by the slasher in the movie. It was the same old tired scenario we’d all seen in horror movies, a formula beloved by the many. The girl tripped and started screaming, panicking, and just being stupid in general. I sat up. “Why is it that they always make these girls so dumb? Why does she have to trip and act stupid? Instead of going back the way she came or following the trail, she’s disappearing deeper into the woods where she’s going to die.”
Normally quiet Nick was now Obnoxious Nick. “You have a problem with that?”
Zane said, “I don’t, as long as I get to see her goodies.”
I rolled my eyes. “Real girls aren’t like that.”
Brad sat up next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. “Know what, Val? You’re cool. Ethan has class when it comes to women.”
I wasn’t sure where he was coming from, but I couldn’t believe he was putting his arm around me right in front of Ethan.
“Correction,” Zane interrupted. “Remember Mary…the mouth?”
“Oh, fuck, yeah!” Nick broke out into laughter and fell on his back.
Ethan said, “Can we change the subject?”
“I kinda liked her mouth,” Zane said.
“I just wanted to say Val was cool. I didn’t want to get you guys started talking about Ethan’s old girlfriends.”
Ethan slammed his straight rum and poured another. Zane said, “I want a girlfriend like that.”
“Shut the fuck up, man.”
Zane sighed and shrugged, then downed his drink. Brad seemed to be in his own little world. I’d tried to ignore his arm around me, and I certainly didn’t want to draw attention to it nor encourage it. But he started talking quietly, so no one else could hear. “I’m glad you and Ethan are friends.” I couldn’t igno
re him anymore, and I turned my head to look at him.
Holy Christ. The look in his eyes was undeniable. He wasn’t drunk, no. He might’ve been loosened up, but he wasn’t trashed. He looked…sexy, and I had no idea why he liked me so much, but the feeling was mutual.
I heard Nick laughing at something on the TV, and Zane said, “Holy shit! That bitch can bleed!” I hoped no one else was paying attention to me.
Brad asked, “So…are you and Ethan dating or not? Are you boyfriend and girlfriend? He won’t say dick about it, and I can’t tell.”
God…how should I answer that? Honesty…always the best way. “I…uh…don’t think he considers us that.”
Still…I really cared for Ethan, and nothing was set in stone. Until I knew for sure, I didn’t want to encourage Brad’s behavior. I took a deep breath and tried to smile. Then I stood up. “I…um…need a glass of water. Can I get anyone anything?”
Brad shook his head, and everyone else ignored me, so I walked to the kitchen.
I was so glad I hadn’t had anything to drink. In the past, I’d been around friends who’d lost all their inhibitions too quickly thanks to alcohol, and I knew I’d just escaped a precarious situation.
I’d come to the kitchen to get my bearings. I stood at the refrigerator for a good two minutes, just staring at the handle. Finally, I opened the door so I wouldn’t look pathetic and lost, but that’s really what I was. I was confused. I didn’t know what I wanted, and it made me angry. No, that wasn’t entirely true. My head wanted one thing, my heart another. I needed a few minutes alone to just think.
A few deep breaths and I was starting to feel normal again. I shut the refrigerator door and turned around, ready to go back to the living room. But just as I did that, he appeared in the doorway. Brad…the man who’d made me question everything. And he just stared at me with those smoldering eyes as if to say he knew everything I was thinking.
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