by Laura Day
With that, Conor pushed himself inside Maple in one forceful move. Maple wasn’t sure if she screamed out, all she was aware of was the dry pain that raced up her body. This can’t be happening, Maple thought. This can’t be happening to me.
She felt her consciousness slip away again, and this time Maple did not fight against it. She didn’t want to be awake for this, and more importantly, she didn’t want to remember any of it. She let herself fall into the black hole, waiting for the hollow calm of being unaware and safe.
Chapter 12
Jax
Jax downed the last of his beer and threw it into the trashcan that sat just next to Evan’s chair. It hit the ring of the trashcan and hovered for a moment before deciding to fall inside with a low thud. Evan dropped his empty can in as well and looked back at Jax.
“How do you feel?”
“About what exactly?” Jax asked, glancing at the tacky, plastic clock that hung on the wall opposite him. It was ten-fifty, so he had a little time left before Maple would show up.
“The fight,” Evan said.
“I’m... ready physically,” Jax answered honestly. “I think I just need to get into the right mental headspace.”
“Is a week really going to be enough for that?”
“It’ll have to be,” Jax said firmly. “I’m not backing out of this fight.”
“I did a little digging,” Evan said. “Conor’s a good fighter; he’s powerful and precise. And he’s had a good trainer.”
“Weaknesses?” Jax asked.
“He doesn’t have speed,” Evan said. “And as far as I can tell, he doesn’t have stamina either. Try and tire him out so that you can finish him at the correct time.”
Jax nodded, taking everything in. “I can win, right?” he asked, hating the note of uncertainty that he could hear in his tone.
Evan hesitated for a moment.
“What?” Jax asked, more forcefully than he had intended.
“When you’re in that ring... you need to keep your head clear, Jax,” Evan said. “If you’re blinded by the need for revenge, it’s going to cloud your judgement in the fight. And that’s going to cost you.”
“This is the only way I can beat him, Evan,” Jax said. “This is the only way.”
Evan shook his head. “You’re looking at things from a narrow perspective; there are always alternative methods. You just need to find them.”
Jax sighed. “How about, for right now, we concentrate on this fight?”
Evan nodded. “Go home and get some rest.”
“I will,” Jax said, as he rose. “Maple should be here by now. I think I’ll wait outside for her.”
“You two are practically joined at the hip these days,” Evan noted with a small smile playing on his face.
Jax rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well... it’s nice to have someone to talk to.”
“Oh yeah? And is that all you do?”
Jax laughed. A few weeks ago, Jax might have made a dirty joke or a lusty innuendo, but the need for that kind of humor seemed out of place now. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” was all he said, as he made his way out of Evan’s office.
“You really have changed,” Evan observed again, as he nodded goodbye and turned off the lights to his office.
Jax left the gym and walked upstairs and through the music and laughter of the crowded pub. He stepped outside and immediately the music faded to a lull as the door closed behind him. It was a quieter night than usual, and Jax took a moment to appreciate the bite in the air.
He turned his head to the side, keeping an eye out for Maple when he noticed the unconscious figure of a young girl lying by the side of the pavement as though she had had too much to drink. There was no one around, and Jax felt a sense of responsibility to make sure she was still breathing. He was used to this kind of thing. Often enough, young kids went out to party it up, but only a handful of them could hold their alcohol.
As Jax came closer, something about the girl struck him as extremely familiar. Panic raced through his body, as he realized that he did in fact know this person. He rushed forward and turned her over so that he could look at her face. “Maple,” Jax gasped, as the night lights threw her scar into high relief. “Dear God, Maple.”
Her eyes were closed, and her hair was strewn across her face as though she had fallen. Jax leaned in, but there was no scent of alcohol on her breath. His eyes raked over her body in agonized worry, and it registered a little late that her clothes looked extremely disheveled, as though she had dressed in a hurry. She was missing one of her shoes and her lips looked raw. A terrible suspicion seized at Jax’s chest, and he felt his throat constrict.
“Jax?” Evan’s voice was raised in alarm. “Is that Maple?”
Jax nodded furiously. “Evan, I think... I need to get her to a hospital.”
“Come on,” Evan said immediately. “Let’s go. We can take my car.”
Jax lifted Maple into his arms and followed Evan to his car. He lay in the backseat, cradling Maple in his arms as Evan drove furiously to the closest general hospital. She was breathing, and Jax took some comfort in that.
“Where was she?” Evan asked.
“Just outside the pub,” Jax replied. “She was lying by the pavement. I didn’t even realize it was her at first.”
“Has she been drinking?”
“She doesn’t drink,” Jax said firmly. “This is... something’s wrong... Evan I think... I think...”
“Calm down, Jax,” Evan said quickly. “We don’t know what’s happened yet.”
“This has something to do with Conor.”
“Jax,” Evan said, raising his voice. “Maple needs you right now. You have to stay calm.”
Jax nodded and swallowed down the anger he felt building up inside him. He pushed it down and held Maple tightly, kissing the top of her head as though his kisses had the power to heal her and make everything better. It seemed to take forever, but they finally pulled up outside St Jude’s Hospital.
Jax pulled Maple into his arms once again and carried her into the hospital. He rushed to the front desk with Evan tailing him.
“I need someone to look at my girlfriend,” Jax said before the nurse at the counter could even look up.
She looked at him with startled eyes. “Sir...”
“Please,” Jax said forcefully. “Someone has hurt her... I think you need to run some tests.”
She had dirty blonde hair and kind eyes. “Ok sir,” she said calmly. “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of it.”
Within a minute, she had called for a gurney, and Jax placed Maple down on top of it gently. Her eyes fluttered open slightly, but they closed almost immediately, as though she was dreaming. He wanted to say something to her, but he didn’t know what. “Where are you taking her?” he asked the blonde nurse as they wheeled Maple through some doors and out of sight.
“We just need to run the relevant tests,” she said calmly. “We’ll let you know how she is as soon as possible. In the meantime, I’m going to need you to fill out some forms.”
Evan led Jax to a seat, and they sat down together to wait. Jax couldn’t seem to turn off his brain.
“Do you need to call anyone?” Evan asked.
“She doesn’t have any family that can help,” Jax shook his head. His mind strayed to his own family, and he realized that he needed some support. He excused himself and walked outside for some fresh air. After a moment, he took out his cell phone and dialed in Jodie’s number.
“Jax?” Jodie’s voice was cheery.
“Maple’s in the hospital,” Jax said abruptly.
There was a split second of silence from the other end. “Which hospital?” Jodie asked.
“St Jude’s.”
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
She was there in fifteen. She rushed forward and hugged Jax tightly, her brown hair had been tied back in a messy ponytail and her blue eyes were filled with concern. “Are you ok?” she asked.
“
I will be when they tell me Maple’s alright.”
Evan left shortly after Jodie arrived, so she and Jax sat together to wait. “How long has it been?” Jodie asked.
“Half an hour,” Jax said. “Give or take.”
“What do you think happened?”
“Conor was following her,” Jax admitted.
Jodie turned to him in alarm. “What?”
“He saw us together a couple of times... he’s been toying with her. I wanted her to let me handle it, but she wanted me to keep my distance from him.”
Jodie looked shell-shocked. “I can’t believe he’s doing this.”
Jax shook his head and dropped his head into his palms. “Or maybe I’m the one to blame for all this.”
Jodie looked at him questioningly. “What do you mean?”
“Let’s face it... tragedy follows me around everywhere. Wherever I am, bad things tend to happen.”
“Oh Jax,” Jodie said softy, taking his hand. “You don’t honestly believe that.”
“Why do these kinds of things keep happening then?” Jax demanded.
“Why does anything happen Jax?” Jodie asked softy. “Sometimes... life just sucks. But that has nothing to do with you. What happened to Maple is not your fault. And what happened to Mom and Dad and Sam and Joe was not your fault either. A sadistic monster targeted Maple, and a mentally unstable drunk murdered our family. It doesn’t make sense; it isn’t fair, but that’s what happened.”
“Do you think of that day a lot?” Jax asked quietly.
Jodie sighed. “I try not to. But sometimes... I just can’t help it.”
Jax nodded. “Sometimes when I blink, I see their faces on the backs of my eyelids. And sometimes, as I wake up, I can hear the ghost of Sam’s laugh. He was only three.”
“Sammy,” Jodie said his name softly, with so much warmth and love that it hurt Jax more than any punch ever had.
“I can still hear them scream,” Jax said. “And you know what I did? I ran.”
Jodie squeezed his hand. “I ran too, Jax.”
“You were eight.”
“And you were ten,” Jodie reminded him. “We were both just kids... and when that mad man started shooting... all we could do was run. If we had stayed there, then we would have died too—just like everyone else at that campsite.”
“I just feel like... maybe I could have done something,” Jax said weakly.
“You did do something,” Jodie reminded him. “You called nine-one-one, remember? If you hadn’t called for help, then he would found us and killed us. You saved my life, Jax, and you’ve been trying to save my life ever since.”
“It didn’t do very much, did it?” Jax said bitterly. “You’re living your life as a social recluse because some cruel fucker decided to ruin it. And he’s trying to do the same thing with Maple.”
Jodie leaned in and hugged him from the side. “I’m sorry, Jax.”
“Don’t apologize,” Jax said instantly. “This is not your fault. It’s my fault... I knew he was following her, and I did nothing about it.”
“You didn’t know he would do this.”
“He nearly killed you,” Jax said through gritted teeth. “He beat the crap out of you and then left you for dead. I should have known what he was capable of. I underestimated him—and this is the result.”
“Jax, one of these days you’re going to have to stop blaming yourself for everything. It will consume you until it destroys everything good in your life.”
“Look at my life, Jodie,” Jax said in a quiet voice. “My parents and my two baby brothers were slaughtered by a mad man at what was supposed to be a peaceful family vacation. I spent two years in prison for trying to get the guy who nearly killed my sister. I live in shitty apartment, and my money comes from illegal MMA. And now my girlfriend is in hospital just for being my girlfriend.”
“Jax...”
“She doesn’t deserve this, you know?” Jax interrupted. “She had a hard life. She pulled herself out of her own black hole, and then she goes and gets involved with me and she’s right back to where she started. She’s going to hate me.”
“Why don’t you let her decide that,” Jodie said gently.
Before Jax could respond a short doctor in a snow-white lab coat approached them. “I’m Dr. Haan. Are you Mr. Steiner?” he asked, taking a look at the forms that Jax had distractedly filled out when he had first arrived.
“Yes,” Jax nodded standing quickly, as Jodie mirrored his movements.
“You brought in...”—the doctor looked down at his clipboard again—“... Maple Hudson?”
“That’s right.”
“We performed some tests...”
“And?” Jax jumped in impatient for news. “Is she alright?”
“She will be,” the doctor nodded. “There was evidence of narcotics in her system. We found traces of Rohypnol in her blood—”
“Rohypnol?” Jodie cut in. “Is that a date rape drug?”
The doctor nodded somberly. “It can been used for that purpose, yes—though it is not one of the more common date rape drugs.”
“Are you saying... she has been...?” Jax trailed off, unable to actually say the words out loud. He felt Jodie clutch his arm—as though she needed the support too.
“We did the relevant tests,” Dr. Haan replied, his eyes revealed more than his words did. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh God,” Jax said turning away.
Jodie took charge. “Don’t you need to... give her some more tests? Isn’t she at risk for HIV, STDs...?”
“We will do them all, ma’am. Don’t worry,” Dr. Haan replied immediately.
Jax turned back to the two of them. “Can I see her?”
“I believe she’s sleeping now,” Dr. Haan replied. “But you can sit with her.”
Jax and Jodie followed Dr. Haan through a series of corridors until they reached a small corner of the hospital with a series of rooms. Jax walked through a line of beds until he came to the last one. The curtains had been pulled closed so he couldn’t see Maple.
Dr. Haan pulled back the curtain by only a few inches to let him inside. “If she does wake up, she might be a little groggy; she might not even remember most of it.”
“Understood,” Jax nodded curtly.
“Go ahead, Jax,” Jodie said gently. “I’ll give you some time alone with her.”
Jax walked inside and the curtain fell closed behind him. She looked tiny lying on the uniform single bed that dotted the ward. He came closer and stared down at her face. Her skin had paled into a chalky-white, and that made her scar look larger and more prominent. Her eyelashes fluttered slightly, and her chest rose and fell in even breaths.
Jax leaned in and brushed the back of his hand across her cheek. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered to her, hoping that a part of her knew that he was there. “I should have protected you. I should have saved you from this.”
He thought of his parents; he thought of his younger brothers; and he felt the familiar heat of anger burn up inside him. He had not been able to save them, just like he hadn’t been able to save Maple. It seemed as though he put everyone at risk by the simple act of loving them.
Jax sat down and took Maple’s hand in both of his. He bent down to kiss her palm. It was cold and clammy, but he warmed it with his breath. It was as he was sitting there, trying to make sense of his tragedy stricken world, that he had his epiphany. His resolve solidified itself with purpose, and Jax suddenly knew what he had to do.
“I wanted to beat him,” Jax said softly, and in that moment, he wasn’t sure if he was talking to himself or Maple. “I wanted to beat Conor. But I was wrong. I was going at it all wrong. I don’t need to beat him in the ring. I need to kill him in it.”
Chapter 13
Maple
It felt amazing to walk out of the hospital with her little duffel bag. The sun was bright in the sky, but there was still a tiny chill in the air that made goose pimples erupt on her flesh. She crossed
the street and walked to the large fountain around which people were sitting, eating their lunch or having hurried conversations.
She found some free space and sat down, setting the duffel bag at her feet. There was a little spray coming off the fountain, but Maple welcomed the sensation. She had been cooped up in a hospital room for so long that she wanted to appreciate the little details that she usually wouldn’t think twice about on a normal day. On her right sat a tall woman with short, cropped hair and a face like a model, but she was dressed plainly in a white t-shirt and denim overalls.
“Holly,” she called, craning her neck away from where Maple sat. “Come here, darling.”
A few moments later a little girl with a mousy brown braid and a wide grin ran up to her. “Mommy, the birdie ate right fwom my hand,” the child crowed with delight.
The child’s mother gave an audible sigh. “You really shouldn’t be playing with those birds.”
“But they’re so pwetty.”
After a moment, Maple stopped paying attention to the actual conversation. She started noticing the little nuances of their gestures. The mother had a special smile for her daughter, a habit that was returned in kind. When they spoke to each other, it was with complete concentration. It was as though no other person existed around them. Maple knew it was completely normal, that thousands of children had that kind of safety and security and light in their lives, but because she had never been one of those children, it seemed amazing and alien to her.
She watched as the mother pulled out some crackers and fed her daughter. Then she brushed away the crumbs around her mouth and the two of them set off in the direction of the park. Maple watched them go, hand-in-hand, and felt the tiny little burn of loss in her stomach. She turned away from their retreating figures and looked to her left.
There was a middle-aged couple sitting opposite her on the benches that overlooked the fountain. They were in light pastel shades that complimented one another. The man was balding and pot-bellied, and the woman was thick in the hips and thighs and almost completely grey. Yet, somehow, Maple thought they were beautiful to look at. Their beauty wasn’t in their appearances, it was in the familiarity that rested between them. It was in the comforting silence that betrayed the years they had spent in one another’s company.
