by Natalie Ann
“Alabama,” he said. “Where getting pregnant as a teen is pretty common.”
She wouldn’t have expected that. “What happened to your accent?”
“I worked hard to get rid of it. I was already the poor kid at an Ivy League school, I didn’t need to have the accent to prove I was a hick on top of it.”
“Yeah, I know about labels.”
She didn’t have an accent, but it didn’t take long before it got around she was a minister’s daughter in college. There were lots of looks and speculations. How many kids were in the family, did she carry a bible everywhere, was she going to preach about God? When she didn’t do any of those things, then she was labeled the kid that got her freedom in college and partied like Rumspringa. That was always fun having to explain to people how far off base they were.
“So back to your question about being outdoors. Not if it’s too hot and not if it’s too cold.”
“That isn’t much help. Guess we’ll be indoors most of your visit,” she said.
“I can pick up some warmer clothes if you want to be outdoors. Or go borrow something of Nick’s so I don’t have to bring it back on the plane. I’m game for anything.”
It was good to hear. “I didn’t have much planned, really. I’m not much of a skier, because that costs money that we didn’t have as a kid. Then as an adult, I didn’t have the time to learn.”
“Snowshoeing?” he asked.
“There isn’t enough snow. Please. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. If the lake was a bit more frozen, I’d challenge you to hockey.”
“You play ice hockey?” he asked, looking horrified.
“I have. It was something that was free when we were kids. You could make sticks out of just about anything and we did. There were lots of us kids running in and around the church. We had to entertain ourselves at times.”
It’d been a long time since she remembered that. Surprisingly it wasn’t with remorse or sadness, either.
“I’m actually afraid you’ll beat me at ice hockey and then I’ll be all self-conscious for the remainder of my time here. So maybe next visit.”
“No reason to be self-conscious if I beat you at something.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Are you a competitive person?”
“I probably am to some. I wouldn’t say I always had to win, but I always got noticed. Not always for the right things, either. At least in my parents’ eyes.” She got up off her stool. “Let’s get an early lunch and see where my car takes us. How does that sound?”
“It sounds pretty sweet to me.”
But rather than get food in a restaurant, they stopped and picked up some sandwiches and drinks at a deli, then hit the road again.
It wasn’t long before they were overlooking a mountain in the distance, the chasm down below.
“It’s pretty windy up here,” Zach said, pulling his jacket up closer to his face.
“We’re on top of a small mountain,” she said, laughing.
“I need gloves and a hat. Why didn’t you warn me?”
“Because it was spontaneous. Don’t you like to do spontaneous things?” Maybe they weren’t as much alike as she thought—hoped. It might be a long several days now.
“I’m good with it if I’m toasty warm when I do them.”
“You’re no fun. Come on, I’ll race you back to the car and we can eat lunch with the heater on,” she said.
“How about necking when we’re done? It’s been a long time since I’ve necked in the backseat of a car.”
“We have to climb in the backseat to neck?” she asked. “Have you noticed how small it is back there?”
“Well, you can climb into my lap in the front seat. Otherwise the shifter might be hitting you in an unconventional location…”
She shook her head. “Zach, you’re something else. Maybe I want the shifter to hit me there.”
“I’m not sure if you’re serious or not.”
“Then I just need to leave you guessing.”
Wild Thing
After a lot of groping and grabbing in the front seat of Amber’s car—the shifter not really getting in the way—the two of them made their way back down the mountain and into town.
“That was a first for me,” Zach said.
“Not me.”
Zach looked over at Amber as she maneuvered the steep, narrow road down the mountain with the same ease as she cared for her patients.
“Don’t you be kissing and telling, or you’ll make me jealous.”
She turned her head and smiled at him, laughter and a wicked glint in her eyes. “Could you be made jealous?”
He’d never really thought of it before, or even worried about it, but something about Amber brought out all sorts of emotions he never thought much of before, either.
“Maybe.”
“Don’t worry, there isn’t much to tell. But around here, if you wanted to find some privacy as a kid to do some serious necking, the mountain trails were where you’d head.”
“So I made you feel like a kid just now, doing some serious necking in the front seat of a car?” he asked.
“It’s nice to relive your youth now and again,” she said.
“If you say so.” He didn’t care to relive any of his youth.
“Do you want to try out another hot spot with a view or would you rather go back to my place and warm up the proper way?” she asked him.
“I would think my answer would be pretty obvious, but since you’re behind the wheel, I’m just along for the ride.”
She giggled a little, making him think of the popular girls in school, the ones that always got on his nerves. Yet for some reason, that noise just lifted his heart. Maybe because those girls back in his youth never looked twice at him.
By the time they got to the bottom and back on the main road, his phone was going off like rapid fire. “What the heck is going on with Nick?” he said, reaching into his pocket to pull out the phone and look at it.
“It’s probably because you didn’t get a signal on the mountain and they’re all coming in at once. So what’s my ring tone? Do I have my own so you know it’s me?”
“Of course you do. That way I know whether to ignore the phone or not,” he said.
“You better not be ignoring my calls or messages. So what’s my ring tone?” she asked again.
“‘Wild Thing.’ What else?” he said.
“Cute,” she replied.
Flipping through the messages, he said, “Shit!”
“What?” she said, jerking the car slightly.
“Mallory is in labor. By these messages, I’d say Nick is panicked.”
“Looks like we’re heading to the hospital,” she said.
“Are you okay with that?”
“Of course. He’s your best friend. I know you’d want to be there. I guess you planned this trip perfectly.”
“I was hoping she would have had the baby before I got here, but since she is a few days late I should have expected this.”
“You didn’t want to be here for the baby’s birth?” she asked.
“Yes and no. I guess it’s more that I wanted to spend my time with you but know I’m going to be distracted with Nick. I’m really sorry, but he’s like a brother to me, so I’m going to be focused on him for this.”
She reached her hand over and placed it on his leg. “No worries, Zach. I get it. It’s what family does. Rene will be there once she gets out of work and she’s on call this weekend, so I’ll just cover for her if anything comes up while we’re there. It all works out in the end.”
His heart rate started to speed up, not in urgency to get to Nick, but in the overwhelming feelings for what she’d just said. He knew her family didn’t support her in the least, and she knew bits and pieces of his life. But she understood that the Buchanans meant everything to him. Almost as much as his grandparents.
***
Sure, Amber knew about family and obligations. And yes, that was the word she though
t of when she thought of family.
She did what needed to be done, because she felt she was obligated to do it. There were times in her life she did it because it was the right thing, or because she loved and cared for her family, but most of the time, it was because she felt pressured…obligated.
Probably not the best opinion to have about family, but it was there.
Zach didn’t seem to feel that about those he was close with, though. Not his grandparents and not the Buchanans. How he really felt about his mother was a mystery.
Correction—she had a feeling she knew how he felt about his mother, but she didn’t know all the reasons why. That felt like an off-the-table discussion between them right now.
She pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, got out, and led him to the maternity ward. She hadn’t been here in five years, not since her nephew was born.
Another night where she’d ended up arguing with her parents. For some reason, since she worked there during that time, they felt she had special privileges she could get for Sally and her family. They just didn’t understand it didn’t work like that.
In the church, one hand helped the other. But everyday life didn’t always follow suit.
Sure, she could find out more information than they could have on their own, but she didn’t work in the maternity ward then; she worked in the Emergency Department. Two different balls of wax. Yes, it was a small hospital, but not small enough to put her neck on the line to get her sister special treatment. She’d been nothing more than a new employee, someone who had only worked there for a couple of months.
“Let’s go find out where Nick is.”
“I’m sure Trixie is here somewhere. She was like a mother to Mallory for years.”
Amber had never heard the real story behind Mallory and her living with Trixie for so long. Though she’d tried to find out details here and there from Rene, she didn’t get further than Mallory was a friend who needed a place to stay. Amber didn’t believe that, but got the feeling she’d never find out the truth.
“Zach,” Trixie said, standing up when they walked into the waiting room. “Nick has been trying to reach you for over an hour.”
“Sorry. We were out of cell range. How’s he holding up?”
“Not bad. Mallory is tough as nails and keeping him in line. They said she is progressing pretty quickly. Rene is hoping Mallory holds off until she can get here.”
Amber looked at her watch. “She gets off in two hours. If they just got here a short time ago, do they really think she’ll deliver that fast?”
“No. They think it will be faster than a normal first-time delivery, but most likely a few hours yet. Rene will have time.”
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea for Rene to see this, having to deliver herself next month,” Zach said.
Both Amber and Trixie burst out laughing. “Zach,” Amber said. “She knows what to expect. We’ve had medical training, in case you forgot.”
He looked so cute all flustered at the moment.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I’ll just be here to hold Nick’s hand.”
That was sweet, but Amber refrained from saying that and embarrassing Zach even more.
“He’d appreciate that, Zach,” Trixie said. “But you could also keep John and Susan up to date, too. I know they’re trying to get a flight out tonight.”
“I can do that,” Zach said, looking relieved.
A few hours later, Rene showed up with Cole, and even Celeste stopped in for a moment to check on things while she was in town, saying that Caleb told her the news and that she was already putting food together for them when they got home.
Again, more people in the community offering to help out just because it was how they were. It made her wonder if she might have a flawed gene that she never felt the need to help because it was right, but rather because she had to.
Then she remembered all the times her patients told her how they never would have gotten through things without her support and guidance, reminding her it’d never been about a job for her, but doing something to help others feel good. So maybe she was being too hard on herself.
Something she’d done most of her life. Beat herself up. She thought spending the last several years always putting others first would help, but she was finding it never did fully.
Maybe deep down, she needed some acceptance that she never got.
Rene was pacing in the waiting room when her phone went off. Since Amber knew the ring tone of the on-call service, she grabbed it out of Rene’s hand and said, “No. Don’t think about it.” She read the message and made the call to the patient herself.
“Thanks,” Rene said. “I appreciate it. I can’t think at the moment.”
“Just think about your nephew right now. Nothing else.”
No more calls came in for Rene. Nick popped his head out a few times looking a little rattled, but not too bad. Zach managed to get him to laugh, then sent him back in to be with his wife.
By eight that evening, little Blake Z. Buchanan was born. Mom, baby, and dad were doing great.
Forty minutes later, everyone was looking through the window at the new addition. Zach’s smile was a mile wide. “What does the Z stand for?” he asked Nick.
“Like you don’t know,” Nick said, slapping Zach on the back.
“Seriously? Your son’s middle name is Zachery? Dude,” Zach said, his eyes starting to fill.
Nick laughed. “I didn’t have a choice. Mallory reminded me if I didn’t do it, you’d never stop hounding me over it.”
Zach laughed and hugged Nick, then turned and kissed Amber, saying, “My nephew has my name.”
“I see that. I wonder if he is going to talk nonstop like you.”
Everyone laughed, including Zach. “Let's take a walk. I need some air.”
He grabbed her hand and laced his fingers through hers, then pulled her along to the entrance. “It’s cold out, Zach. You don’t like the cold.”
“Just a few minutes. I’m kind of numb right now, so I won’t feel it.”
“You look like you’re in a daze over the baby. Is it really because of the name?”
“A little. It’s more that I didn’t have a traditional family growing up. I’ve always felt Nick was like a brother to me, but I wondered if he truly felt that way about me. Now I know.”
“I think you’ve always known but just need the confirmation. Do you always need confirmation for things?”
She’d noticed that he often said things like “you love me, you know it” or “you missed me.” He never asked, but often told it to people. Just another thing they shared—joking as a form of getting acceptance from others, when they really should just spell it out.
“I guess. I never thought of it that way. Probably has something to do with being abandoned as a kid.”
“What?” she asked. She’d never heard that before.
“Nothing. Forget it. I don’t know what made me say that.”
“I thought your grandparents raised you?” She knew his mother wasn’t around, and that he’d lived at his grandparents’ house since the day he was born.
“They did. My mind is just tired. Really, ignore me.”
He looked uncomfortable, so she let it go, even though it went against everything she was to keep her mouth shut.
All about Support
By the time Amber and Zach ate dinner and got back to her place, it was past ten. They tumbled into bed and continued what they’d started in her car on the mountain so many hours ago.
“Do you want kids someday?” he asked her now that they were just lying there. The lights were off and he thought she might be asleep, but his mind wouldn’t quiet down.
“I don’t know. I always said I wasn’t sure. My career has always come first, but now that I’m getting older I’m thinking differently.”
“Because thirty is so old,” he said, laughing.
She rolled over and lay her head on his chest. “You want kids, don’t you?
”
“At least one. Maybe two. Being an only child was lonely at times. But I don’t want more than two.”
“There were times I would have loved the loneliness as a kid. I don’t know what that’s like.”
He wondered if that was why she never thought much about having kids. “Now what do you think?”
“I think one or two sounds like a good number…someday. I need to find a man first,” she said, kissing his chest.
“What, I don’t measure up enough?”
She leaned back and searched his eyes, the moonlight coming through the windows enough for him to see. “Oh, you measure up just fine. I bet you’d make a terrific baby daddy, too.”
He wanted to be hurt. He wanted to say more. But he knew enough to leave it for now.
“My kids would have it all. Anything they wanted that I could give them, they’d have,” he said, laughing even though he was serious.
“Ah, going to spoil them rotten then. Maybe you won’t be such a good baby daddy.”
“It’s not all about money. I’d be there. I’d want to be there. I’d want to be a part of their lives. I’m just not sure if I know how.”
“That’s an odd statement.”
He shrugged and stopped himself from saying more. He’d let too much slip earlier today with her already. “I’ve never had a father, for the most part.”
“You had your grandfather. Age doesn’t make a difference when it comes to parents. It’s all about support and being loved.”
She was right, he knew, and knew he was blessed to have his grandparents.
“And we know everyone loves me,” he said, joking, and then kissing her, because really, he was done talking for once.
***
The next morning, Amber dropped Zach off at the hospital to visit with Nick and his family and drove to her parents’ house. She was dreading this conversation, but Zach had asked. “I’d like to take your parents to dinner. Do you think they’d be okay with it?” So she had to at least extend the invitation, regardless of what she already knew the answer would be.
