by Natalie Ann
“I keep thinking what would have happened if I’d left before she got up. I do that sometimes, try to get to my office and get work done before the day starts and the phone calls come in.”
“But you didn’t, so don’t think about it that way. You called me right away, and the ambulance got there fast. There should be minimal damage.” She hoped. Thankfully, her mother was alert and aware, just unable to control her body.
They sat there quietly for another thirty minutes until the doctor came in looking for them.
“The bad news is, your wife suffered a stroke,” the doctor told her father. “The good news is you caught the signs early, and we were able to determine the cause.”
“What is it?” Amber asked.
“She has a blocked artery. We’re prepping her for surgery now to put a stent in.”
“Surgery?” her father asked, sitting down with a thud.
“It’s a common procedure, Dad. Not a lot of risk for the most part. Dr. Manning probably does them in his sleep, right?” she asked, looking up at him.
“Amber is right,” Dr. Manning said. “It won’t be long and we’ll have your wife in recovery and you can visit her. We’ll want to keep her overnight for observation, but most likely she’ll be released early tomorrow. She also has very high cholesterol and is borderline diabetic. There are going to have to be some lifestyle changes along with medication. You got lucky today, though.”
“Thank you,” her father said, then just sat there silently after Dr. Manning left. “Now what?” he asked her.
“Now we wait, then you take Mom home tomorrow. I’ll come over and make sure she is settled for the night. I can stay if you want too, but we’ll deal with it tomorrow.”
“If you don’t mind. It’d make me feel better knowing you’re there, at least when she gets home. I’m sure it will reassure her, too.”
That remained to be seen, but Amber didn’t say that. Instead she said, “I’ll stay with you for now and help you get her home tomorrow.”
***
Later that night, Amber put her feet up on the couch and let out a big breath. She was too tired to even get a glass of wine.
After her father visited with her mother and realized she was going to sleep most of the night, Amber convinced him to go home and get some sleep himself. Once he was settled for the night, she called and told the hospital to page her if anything went wrong and she’d get him. Fingers crossed it’d be a quiet night.
Then she finally sent a message off to Zach, hating to do it. He obviously had his own issues since she still hadn’t heard from him. Yet.
So when her phone rang at ten while she was getting ready for bed, she was shocked to see his name pop up.
“Is everything okay with your mom now?” he asked. She’d texted him what happened but that all was good, not wanting to worry him.
“It sounds like it. The surgery went well, and my father is home sleeping, too. I’m just getting ready to crash myself. But what about you? What’s going on?”
“It’s been a long day. A long twenty-four hours,” he said, then proceeded to explain what was going on there.
“Sounds like we both had an exciting day. Now what’s going to happen with the kids?”
“I don’t know yet. I’m flying out tomorrow. Actually, I planned on flying to see you so we could talk about it.”
That surprised her. “You don’t want to talk about it over the phone?”
“It’s probably better in person. You’ve got a lot on your mind with your mother. I’ve got a few more things to button up while I’m here. My flight is landing around six tomorrow, so if you don’t mind, I’ll see you at your place?”
“Of course. Are you sure? Zach, it sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate right now. Why don’t you just do what you need to do and don’t worry about coming here. We have time to talk still.”
“No. I want to get all my ducks in a row right now.” She heard him yawn, causing her to do the same. “I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Love you too,” she said, secretly glad he was flying all this way once again to be with her. Yeah, he said he needed to talk, but deep down she knew he wanted to be there for her, the same as she needed to be there for him.
***
“Mom,” Amber said. “Stop complaining. You’ll be home in a few minutes and I’ll get you situated.”
“I don’t like the way the pain meds make me feel. I don’t want to take them,” her mother said once again. It was a broken record. She didn’t like the way they made her feel, but without them, she was in a lot of pain.
“Once they wear off, we’ll try something else. There is no reason for you to be in unnecessary pain right now. Let’s get home and get you comfortable.”
An hour later, her mother was in bed resting while Amber was in the kitchen with her father putting together some soup. “Are you sure you don’t want me to spend the night?” she asked. Secretly she was thrilled to get out of the house, not sure she could keep her patience right now.
“No. We’ll be fine. I’ll call you if I need anything. Your mother is already acting like her grouchy self again.”
She looked up and saw the barest of smiles on her father’s face. “I noticed.”
“And you know as well as I do, we’re going to have visitors and more food than we can eat soon enough.”
It was always that way with the church. Her mother would be kicking people out in no time. Then again, maybe not. Maybe she would want the company to keep her occupied. Heaven forbid she missed the town gossip.
“True. But she has to watch what she’s eating. Diet and lifestyle changes, Dad. For both of you. And I want you to get a full physical and blood work, too.”
“There’s nothing wrong with me,” he argued.
“Maybe not. But you know as well as I do that Mom won’t accept any changes if you’re not making them with her.”
He sighed. “You’re probably right. There goes my bacon and eggs every morning, huh?”
“Most likely. I’m sure once in a while it can be a treat. Still, it will be a good change for both of you.”
“If you say so,” he said. Now he was sounding like her mother.
“I do,” she said, leaning in and kissing his cheek. “I know Mom and I have our differences, but I want you both healthy and strong. You need to make these changes.”
He nodded his head. “I’ll stir this soup. Why don’t you go visit with your mother before you leave?”
“The doctor said she needed to relax. Having me in there is only going to raise her blood pressure. Sally can visit with her when she stops over later.”
“Listen to your father and go in there and talk. There are things that your mother needs to say to you. She might as well say them now.”
Amber didn’t feel like arguing so she left and went to see her mother one more time before heading home.
Knocking on the door, she pushed it open and said, “Mom? Are you awake?”
“Come on in, Amber.”
Her mother was propped up on the bed, her eyes alert but looking fragile. Amber couldn’t remember the last time her mother looked frail to her.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better.” Her mom patted the bed. “Come sit with me and talk.”
She was running the meds through her mind right now, wondering if she gave her mom too much. “Sure, if you’re up to it.”
“I am. Just listen to me. Don’t say a word.”
“Okay. Talk away,” Amber said, preparing to bite her tongue.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you lately. For the way I’ve judged you and your relationship with Zach.” She opened her mouth, only to have her mother put her hand on her arm and say, “No, just listen. I’ve never approved of how you’ve lived your life.”
“No secret there,” Amber said before she could stop herself.
Her mother just frowned. “But I’ve got to let go. I’ve got to let you l
ive your life the way you want. It’s obviously working out well for you.”
Nothing like a near-death experience for her mother to see the light. “It is now. I’m sorry you don’t approve. But I just can’t be who you want me to be.”
“I fear the way I’ve treated you may have caused you to take some missteps in life.” Amber snorted, but her mother continued on. “I can only hope that whatever they are, or were, that you’ve been able to come to terms with them. That nothing held you back.”
She’d spent the last few weeks thinking about her life. All the things she’d kept inside. All the guilt she’d carried around with her.
Missteps was a light word for the things that had happened in Amber’s life, but she’d come to terms with them with the help of Zach, and there was no reason to make her mother feel any guiltier than she seemed to be right now.
Part of her was always going to put others’ feelings above her own, but she wouldn’t do it anymore if it killed a part of her in the process. No more. No more doing that, thanks to Zach.
“You can’t be anyone other than who you are,” her mother continued, almost reading her thoughts. “And honestly, I probably would still argue with you as much if you were more like me.”
“We’d argue more and you know it.”
Her mother laughed a little. She couldn’t remember the last time her mother smiled, let alone laughed. “You’re probably right. So what I’m saying is, if Zach makes you happy, then I give my approval. If he doesn’t, then find the person who does. Any way it takes for you to find it.”
Her eyes filled with tears, a few escaping. She leaned down and kissed her mother’s cheek, then whispered, “That means the world to me. Thank you.”
“You mean the world to me, Amber. I really just want you to be happy.”
For the Best
“Well, you had a happier ending than I did,” Zach said. He was thrilled for her, he really was, and not even a tiny bit jealous.
“I’m sorry you didn’t,” she said, snuggling into his side. They were lying in bed now, both exhausted, physically and mentally.
“I didn’t expect anything different.”
“Was it really that bad for you growing up?” she asked.
“Yeah.” He’d only told her a small part. What he’d said to his mother, but nothing more. There was so much more, but honestly, it was all more of the same.
“I can’t imagine thinking that your mother couldn’t be bothered with you. Wondering if she loved you or not. My mother and I never got along, but I always knew she did love me.”
“It’s not a good feeling to have. What was so bad or wrong with me that she couldn’t be bothered?” He’d never voiced that before, either. Now he realized if he couldn’t say it to her, then he couldn’t say it to anyone.
“It doesn’t sound like it’s you, but rather a flaw with your mother.”
“She’s always been selfish. Always wanted more than she had at any cost. I was surprised when she married Scott and moved away. But I remember thinking back then that he had so much more than we did. That maybe that was her driving force.”
“Meaning money?” Amber asked.
“Yeah. He had some manufacturing job and was transferred, which is why they moved. He worked a lot of overtime and cash was flowing more than my mother had ever seen.”
“Which probably still wasn’t a lot once you add kids to the mix.”
“I’m guessing that, too. Still, she saw a life she’d never had. One that didn’t include me. I always wondered if it was Scott that didn’t want me there, but looking back, I’m thinking it was my mother. She just didn’t want me in her life then any more than she did when I was born.”
“Why do you say that?”
“When I got to the kids, I was livid. I made them tell me where Scott worked and I went and confronted him while the kids were in the car. He was truly shocked at what was going on. He swore up and down he was only supposed to have them for the weekend. He’d just started this job and couldn’t take the time off, but he gave them money and told them to call him if she didn’t come back. When he didn’t hear from them, he just assumed everything was fine.”
“So Scott is in the picture? He cares about the kids?”
“More than my mother, but he’s tied down. He’s barely able to keep his head above water right now. He thanked me again and again, shook my hand multiple times, and appreciated that I dropped everything to be there for his kids. He said he’d always thought I was a good kid and was upset at first that I wanted to live with my grandparents back then.”
“So he didn’t know? He thought it was your decision to stay?”
“Yeah. To be honest, it really was. Not that my mother even offered to have me move with them. It was more like she said what she was doing and that was it. When I said I wanted to stay, she was fine with it.” The simple shrug from his mother back then was answer enough.
“You were just a kid voicing your objection about moving.”
“That about sums it up. But it just proved what I knew all along. In the end, it worked out for the best.”
“So now what? You said you needed to talk about the future, but you haven’t said much. What’s the plan?”
By the time he got to her place, they ate a quick dinner, he showered, and they both collapsed into bed needing comfort in each other above anything else. Now it was time to talk about the future.
“I talked with Seth and Bri, found out what they wanted, what they needed. Above all else, Bri wants to graduate with her friends. It’s just a few months. My mother agreed to keep her butt home for that period of time to make it happen. To not skip out at night, not unless the kids are with their father.”
“Do you believe she’ll keep her promise?”
“She will if she knows what’s good for her,” he said. She’d want the money he promised her to do it, and since he had someone watching her every move—which he was clear he was doing—she’d probably keep her word. Money meant more to his mother than her kids.
“Then what, once the school year is over?”
“Bri got accepted to the University of Virginia. I didn’t even know she’d applied there, and it’s not an easy school to get acceptance in. Between her financial aid and scholarships, it’s actually the best choice for her.”
“How close is that to you?”
“It’s about an hour from my grandparents, so it’s pretty ideal.”
“That’s great, Zach. I’m happy for her. For you, too. Maybe she can get her life on track.”
“I hope. I want her to focus on school. She’s smart and needs to look toward her future.”
“You’re going to support her, aren’t you?”
“Someone has to,” he said. “I’m sure my grandparents will help out, too. Bri will be fine.”
He’d make sure of it. The two of them had a fence to mend. Or more like a relationship to build, and he was going to try his damnedest to make it right. If anything, he and Bri had a messed-up childhood in common. The least he could do was make her college years easier than his were.
“What about Seth? Will he stay there for his last two years of school?”
“That’s the question. That’s what I need to talk to you about.”
“Does he want to live with you?” Amber asked, running her hand along his arm. Just her touch was comfort enough.
“He doesn’t want to stay with either of his parents. I know that much. My mother and his father have agreed to sign over guardianship to either me or my grandparents. I don’t want to burden my grandparents with raising a teen right now, but I’m not around enough as it is, that he’d have to stay with them when I was traveling anyway.”
“Does he want to move here and live with us? I mean, you’re still going to travel, but I’m around. I’m not called out in the middle of the night that much and even when I am, it’s only for a few hours.”
He loved her. Loved that she was asking, and even offering. “It’s an optio
n. I know that is a lot to ask of you. Of us. Especially this early in a relationship. We haven’t even really lived together yet and then I’d be bringing my younger brother with me.”
“Nonsense,” she said. “You forget I’ve had foster kids in and out of my life forever. It’s not a problem. We just need to make sure we have a house by then.”
“We will. In between all the drama the last two days, I got back to Jeff Cotter and told him we had a deal. His lawyer is holding the deposit I wired over and now it’s all in the lawyer’s hands. With any luck, we’ll have the keys to the lake house in a few weeks. Then we can start working on it.”
“So we’ve got a few months to get it ready for Seth. If that?” she asked, looking a bit nervous.
“Seth wants to spend some time with my grandparents this summer. It will give us time to get things settled here. It will all work out. It has so far.”
She lay her head on his chest. “Doesn’t it seem odd to you that we both had such a screwed-up childhood and yet both turned out as pretty awesome people?”
“Not at all. I’m learning that my childhood doesn’t dictate my future. It doesn’t even mold it. It just helped me figure out the best path to take.”
“That’s a good way of thinking of things. I’m glad our paths led to each other.”
“So am I.”
Epilogue
“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Amber said, slipping on her heels. “Are we nuts? What is everyone going to think?”
“They’re going to think it’s perfect. At least for us.”
“I guess so.” She turned and exposed her back to him. “Zip up my dress the rest of the way, will you?”
“I’d rather take it off you,” he said, laughing.
“I expect it. For now, we have an appointment to make. And I don’t want to miss it. Not with you looking so handsome in your suit. You should wear one more often.”
