by ADAMS, J.
He covers me with a fleece blanket and kneels beside the bed. “I’m sorry I wore you out today.”
“No, don’t be sorry,” I say, placing a hand on his cheek. “It was a lot of fun. And I really enjoyed watching you. You can out-shop me any day.”
He smiles, kissing my palm. “We’re just going to have to make sure you take it a little easier for a while. You relax and get some rest. I’ll take care of dinner this evening.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know, but I want to.”
“You’re just too good to me.”
“I could never be too good to you, love.” He kisses me and leaves me to sleep.
A while later, Ingo awakens me.
“I’m sorry to wake you, love, but your cousin Velma is on the phone. I thought you would want to talk to her.”
This is a pleasant surprise. “Yes, I would.” I pick up the phone and Ingo leaves me to talk.
“Hello, Velma.”
“Hi, Cisely. I’m sorry about waking you, but I just wanted to see how you were doing.”
I smile, happy to actually have someone in my family thinking of me. “I’m glad you called. How have you been?”
“I've been great. I’m enjoying being out on my own. I love the freedom. How are you?”
“I am doing well. I have an amazing husband and . . . I'm pregnant.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Girl, I’m so happy for you and Ingo!”
“Thanks. We’re pretty happy, too.”
“Have you found out when you are due?”
“Yes, we're having a July baby.”
“That’s good. I am so excited for you guys.”
“So are we. In fact, Ingo is so excited, he nearly bought out a few department stores today. We were only supposed to be window shopping.”
Velma laughs. “I can only hope to find a guy like that one day.”
“You will. I am sure of it.” “From your lips to God’s ears.”
“It's only a matter of time.”
For a long moment, Velma is silent and I wonder if everything is all right. As I'm about to ask, she finally speaks again.
“Cisely, I just wanted to tell you how amazing I think you are. Because of you, I know anything is possible. I often think about your life and the things you went through. I know it wasn’t easy growing up in a family like ours, but you completely turned your life around. You're an inspiration to me, and I’m glad you found Ingo. I’m grateful to be able to call you both my family.”
Darn these tears! “Thanks so much, Velma. We’re grateful for you, too.”
“You've had so many awesome things happen to you, Cisely, and I'm sure there is even more to come. I hope for me as well.” She laughs. “Listen to me. I sound like a fortune cookie.”
I chuckle. “You sound great.”
“Well, I’ll stop rambling now. Basically I just wanted to say I love you and I am one family member who will be here for you whenever you need me.”
I am deeply touched by her outpouring of feelings. “Thank you, Velma. That means so much to me. You are an inspiration to me as well. I’ve never had a sister, but if I did, I would want her to be just like you. I love you, too. Thanks for calling me.”
“You’re welcome. Well, I’ll let you go now. But remember to call me if you ever need to talk or anything and I’ll do the same.”
“I will. And Velma, thanks.” Hanging up the phone, I lean back against the pillows and allow my thoughts to linger on Velma. I have truly grown to love her and I wish we lived a little closer to each other.
Phone calls are good, though.
Reflecting on the changes in my life, I think of Jessica and her capacity to love everyone. I am grateful for the close relationship we share. I think of the women at the boutique and the friendships I have formed with them. It's sad that in all the time I worked at the restaurant in North Carolina, there wasn’t one person there I could truly consider a friend.
I think about Adagio, and I'm deeply grateful for his friendship and the close relationship he shares with Ingo. There is nothing the two would not do for each other and that means a lot. Finally, I think of Ingo. He means the world to me and I can't imagine where I would be without him.
With this final thought, I drift to sleep.
I am confronted a few minutes later by the vision of a face that again enters my dreams unbidden. I awaken with a gasp. It was just a dream. Just a dream, just a dream . . .
Squeezing my eyes shut, it takes a lot of effort, but I force the visual from my mind.
The invader of my sleep is a part of my past. I will not let him intrude upon my future.
Twenty-one
It is early when we are awakened by the ringing of the telephone.
“That’s probably John calling about shooting the house photos,” Ingo says sleepily. “He was going to call if he couldn't make the appointment this morning.”
“How is he doing anyway?” I am now fully awake.
“He’s okay. The divorce has been hard on him and he really needs to get the house sold. The payments are pretty hefty and too much to handle with just his income. That’s–” There is a knock on our door. “Come in.”
Jessica sticks her head in. “I'm sorry, but it’s for you . . . It’s your friend, Adagio. He said it was really important.”
Ingo quickly picks up the cordless and Jessica hands me the other one, just in case.
“Adagio, what is it?” Ingo asks.
“I am sorry to call you so early, but I am about to board a flight to Salt Lake and I was wondering if it would be all right if I stay with you and Cisely for a few days.”
“Sure, you don't even need to ask. What’s going on? Wait, Cisely is listening in too.” I turn the other phone on.
“Ciao, Cisely.”
“Hi, Adagio. What has happened?”
“I got a call from a good friend in Salt Lake. He and his wife just lost their little boy. He was hit and killed by a drunk driver.”
I gasp. “Oh, that’s terrible!”
“I know. After he hit the boy, the young man ran into a tree a little farther down the road. Otherwise, they would not have caught him.”
“How is the poor family holding up?” Ingo asks.
“They are pretty broken up. Tara, the mother, is not well at all. He was eight years old and their only child. She can't have any more children.”
I tearfully try to imagine what the couple must be going through. It brings back a few memories of being in cars with drunk drivers myself. That is, when I was sober enough to notice. It's not a pretty picture and I quickly put it out of my mind. “Can we do anything to help?”
“I don't know at the moment. Gary, the boy’s father, asked me if I would help them with the arrangements. Neither are close to their families through no fault of their own. I will let you know if I need any help once I get there and can talk with them about what they want.”
“When does your flight get in?” Ingo asks.
“My plane was delayed for a couple of hours, but we are almost ready to take off. I will be there at midnight. I have already reserved a car, so you won't need to pick me up. I'm sorry to be coming in so late.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I say. “We will just be glad to see you.”
“I look forward to seeing you as well.”
After the call, we get up and get going, readying a room for Adagio. We look forward to seeing him again. We only wish it were under happier circumstances.
Twenty-two
It is one in the morning when Adagio parks his rented Mazda in front of Ingo and Cisely’s home and hauls his luggage up the steps. The living room light is on, so he knows someone is waiting up for him. Ingo opens the door before he even knocks and the two men embrace.
“I appreciate you letting me stay with you.”
“You never have to ask. You're always welcome.” “Thank you.”
He follows Ingo up
to the same guest room he stayed in
when he came for the wedding.
“Cisely said she'll see you bright and early in the
morning.” Looking at his watch, he grins. “I guess that would
be today.”
Adagio chuckles. “It is always so strange to lose half your
day and not even know it.”
“I know what you mean. Can I get you anything?” “No, I am okay.”
“Well, make yourself at home”
“Thanks. I will see you later.”
Adagio closes the door and places his suitcase on the bed. Taking out a pair of pajama bottoms, a t-shirt and his toiletry bag, he quickly changes and gets into bed, deciding to leave the unpacking until after he’s had some sleep.
But as tired as he is, he can’t sleep. His thoughts are on Gary and Tara and their loss. Brian was only six years old the last time Adagio saw him. At that time, the little boy followed him around like a shadow most of the time, and Adagio loved it. Smiling Adagio, ponders the times he shared with the family, going to ball games and out for pizza. He had even baby-sat for Gary and Tara a few times so they could get out for a bit. He remembers how he envied their happiness and contentment in life. Gary and Tara had each other, they had their faith, and they had Brian. They had needed nothing else. Now Brian is gone and a gaping hole is left in their life.
Adagio’s thoughts shift to his mother. Even after all these years he still misses her. He misses her laughter, her beautiful smile, her unwavering faith.
He thinks back, as he has so many times before, to the last conversation he had with his mother before she died. She told him he would one day face a trial that would shake his faith to the very core before receiving blessings beyond measure. At first, he’d thought it was when the restaurant burned down. He'd put so much work into the place and suddenly it was taken away. It had all been for nothing, or so he had thought. He has learned much since then about business and is grateful for the lessons.
Still, he wonders about the trial he is facing now, because it seems to be growing harder with each day that passes.
It is the trial of loneliness.
Some days he is okay because he knows God has a plan, though he has no idea what that plan is. But during moments like this, it is hard to see past the pain enough to think about future blessings.
He misses his mother and he is lonely.
However, he does have friends and a good life. He has much to be grateful for.
Adagio is sitting at the kitchen table enjoying a cup of hot chocolate, hoping the big dose of sugar will give him a needed energy boost when Jessica enters.
“Hello,” he says, standing.
“Adagio, my boy!” Jessica reaches up to hug him and he leaned down, accepting her embrace. “How are you?” she asks, releasing him.
“I am well.”
“Ingo told me about your friends’ loss. I am so sorry.”
“Thank you. I can't imagine what they are going through. I am heading over to their place in a few minutes.”
“Well, though I don’t know them, please give them my condolences.”
“I will.” He smiles. “I guess you are pretty excited about Cisely and Ingo’s little one. Since you have adopted the role of Cisely’s mother, you really will be like a grandmother.”
“I’m very excited. Since I never had little ones of my own, I welcome babies anytime. I hope the house will be full one day.”
“I hope you are right,” Adagio agrees. “I can picture Ingo chasing them up and down the stairs now.”
“Now that would indeed be a sight.”
Adagio looks up as Ingo and Cisely enters the kitchen. He grins. “Hello, bella.”
“Hey, you,” Cisely says, grinning back as he hugs her. “I’m so sorry about your friends.”
“Thank you. I am heading over now, but I couldn't leave without saying hello and thanking you for letting me stay.”
Cisely waves the comment aside. “Thanks, smanks, you’re family, so you are always welcome.”
Adagio visits with them another few moments before heading out.
Adagio puts his arms around Brian and Tara and they cry against his shoulders. For a few moments he saying nothing, just offers what comfort he can. There is nothing else he can say, no new words to offer, and definitely no advice since he’s never been in their position or even close. Losing a parent is one thing, but losing a child is something he’s never had to comprehend.
“Let's go into the kitchen,” Tara finally suggests. “We have a counter full of cookies and pastries that some of the neighbors dropped off last night.”
“Sounds good,” Adagio says. They sit at the table for a while, talking about Brian and what a special boy he was. Adagio sheds a few more tears thinking about how much he will miss him.
“We had so many plans for the future.” Tara says, fresh tears brimming her eyes. “We were going to enroll Brian in a karate class in a couple of weeks. He was so excited about that. He wanted to be able to defend himself should he ever run into bullies in school.” Closing her eyes, she heaves a sad sigh. “There is just never enough time.”
Gary wipes his eyes. “There's so much I wish we had done with him, so much I wish I had said.” Adagio places a hand on his shoulder. “You were the best parents a kid could ever ask for, and you will always have your memories of him and the life you all had together. Nothing can ever take that away. In the short time you had together, you probably gave him a lifetime of love.”
“We tried to,” Gary says. “We'd like to think we did.” “Trust me, you did.”
Adagio accompanies Gary and Tara to the funeral home
and helps with the service arrangements. He finally says good night, embracing them both, assuring them he will always be there for them. They thank him and write down the address of the church.
They tell Adagio how grateful they are for his friendship, and he assures them it is the other way around. They shared their son with him. That meant more than he can ever say.
Twenty-three
It seems every person the Flynn family has ever known is in attendance for their son’s funeral and they receive much support. The church is filled to capacity, and I'm sure it comforts the grieving parents to know their son had touched so many lives. Many wonderful and kind things are said about Brian during the service. He had touched countless people during his short life and was truly loved by everyone he came in contact with. Glancing around the packed building, it is obvious Gary and Tara have touched many lives as well.
The day before, Adagio asked a favor of me when he returned from the Flynn's. They wanted a musical number and he remembered Ingo telling him I sing and play the piano. He asked if I would sing one of Brian’s favorite songs during the service. Though I have never performed in front of a large crowd before, I said yes. I spent half the day practicing, wanting to get it just right.
Walking up on the stand and taking a seat at the piano, I am not nervous, but I do say a silent prayer that I will be able to get through the song. I want to comfort the couple in any way I can, which is why I had agreed so readily to do it. I can’t imagine losing a child, or anyone close to me for that matter. I absently touch my flat stomach. Contemplating our unborn child brings me renewed gratitude for the gift of motherhood.
The Flynns had requested that I sing “I Can Only Imagine” by the Christian group, Mercy Me, which I do with all my heart. I tearfully imagine the little boy smiling down on the congregation, completely at peace.
The service concludes and Brian is soon laid to rest. Gary and Tara thank me for singing, saying it made them feel closer to their son. I assure them I was happy to do it.
Gary squeezes Adagio’s shoulder. “It has meant the world to us to have you here. Thanks so much for all your help and support. I know it made Brian happy you were here.”
“I'm glad I could be here. I had planned to visit you in January when I come back to see Ingo and Cisely. I wanted to b
ring something special for Brian. I am sorry I will not have the opportunity to give it to him.”
Tara wipes her eyes. “He knew you loved him, and he probably knows that even more now.”
“I think so too,” Adagio agrees.
Ingo and I leave the three alone to talk for a few minutes more. They soon say goodbye to one another and Adagio heads back home with us.
Sitting in the living room, we spend some more time visiting. Adagio fills us in on what he's been up to since his last visit.
“So, how is the love life coming along, my friend,” Ingo asks. “Anyone new we should know about?”
Adagio laughs. “Sorry, but not even close.”
“What are we going to do with you?” I ask, shaking my head.
“I don't know. I ask myself that very question from time to time, with no answers.”
“Hey, I know,” I say brightly. “We could put an ad in the paper. You know, post your picture in the lonely hearts section along with your stats? Beneath the photo we could specify your requirements in a mate. What do you think?”
Book men look at me with straight faces, but it isn't long before the room is ringing with their boisterous laughter.
“Hey, I was serious, guys,” I pout and they laugh even harder. “Fine, I know when my help is not appreciated.”
Ingo wipes his eyes, drawing me close. “I’m sure Adagio appreciates your help. Don’t you?”
“Definitely,” he agrees, wiping his own eyes. “Thank you, Cisely. I needed a good laugh today.”
“You’re very welcome.”
“What are your plans now?” Ingo asks. “Will you stay for a while?”
“Probably just through Thanksgiving. Then I will need to get back to the restaurant. I left it in good hands and I'm sure everything is okay, but we've been pretty busy lately and I should probably be there.”
“I can understand,” Ingo agrees.
“You two will have to come and visit me before Cisely is too far along to travel. She would love Venice.”
Yawning, I lean my head against Ingo’s shoulder. “We will. I would love to see it. Actually, I would love to tour the whole country.” Covering my mouth, I yawn again. By this time of the evening, I am always exhausted.
