by ADAMS, J.
“I would call it fate,” I whisper.
“So would I,” he says, touching my face.
“It's very beautiful.”
“I stopped on the way here to get it cleaned and polished a bit. If it doesn't fit, we can have it sized.”
I gaze momentarily at the ring with its glittering platinum setting. Removing my wedding rings, I put them in the box, staring at them another moment before closing it. I am trading one ring for another–trading the symbol of one man's love for the other. It's odd that it should feel so right.
Adagio places the ring on my finger. It's a perfect fit. He brings my hand to his lips, and then gently draws me against him, wrapping his arms around me.
“I love you, Cisely.”
“And I love you.”
As he presses his mouth to mine again, I literally feel his love through his kiss. A familiar warmth flows through me and I draw back a little. Looking into his eyes, I see that he feels it too.
“This is right, isn't it?” I ask in awe.
“It is, amore.”
“Would it be terrible of me to say I'm a little afraid.”
“No, because I am, too.” Pressing a kiss to my forehead, he whispers, “We are very blessed to have each other.”
“We are,” I agree.
“Everything will be different now,” he breathes. “Think we are ready for the change?”
“I'm definitely ready.”
“So am I.” He brushes a lock of hair back from my face. “I have needed you in my life longer than I wanted to admit. It has been hard being so close to you every day, unable to share my true feelings. Some moments have been agony because of wanting to tell you so badly, but I was afraid of scaring you away. And I worried about betraying Ingo. No matter how I tried, the longing was always there.”
“I have needed you too, though I didn’t want to admit it either. It frightened me to need you so much.”
“There is no need to be afraid anymore.”
“No,” I agree. “There isn't.”
“So, what should we do now?”
“It doesn’t matter. As long as we’re together, anything is fine.”
He smiles, softly touching his lips to mine. “Well, whatever we decide, I think we should at least share our news with Jessica. Where is she, anyway?”
“She went down to the boutique. She wasn’t really scheduled to go in. I think she just wanted to give us some time alone. She talked to me this morning about not fighting my feelings anymore.”
“She did, huh? Well, remind me to thank her when we see her.”
“I already did, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind hearing it from you.” Reaching up, I bury my fingers in his hair the way I've wanted to for a long time. “It was the best advice she could have given me.”
“I agree,” he says closing his eyes, leaning into my touch.
We keep our arms twined around each other, my head resting against his shoulder, and silently revel in our closeness. Now that I am wearing his ring, I never want to let him go.
“Cisely?”
‘Mmmm?”
“Ingo told me about Jessica leaving you the house in her will, and I know how much you love it here. That being the case, once we are married, if you want us to stay here it will be all right.”
Warmed by his concern for my feelings, I say, “I do love it here and I always will, but Italy is your home, so it will be my home, too. I'll admit it makes me a little nervous to think about moving away, but I will follow you anywhere, Adagio, and wherever we are will be home.”
He rests his forehead against mine. “You mean everything to me, Cisely,” he whispers. “Everything.”
“And you mean everything to me.”
His hand slides down to my stomach, pressing gently. “And I promise to love this little one like he is my own.”
Covering his hand with mine, I lightly trace the masculine veins beneath his skin. “I know you will. You will be a great dad.”
“Thank you,” he says humbly. “I will do my best. I owe it to Ingo.”
A melancholic sadness briefly touches me. “Ingo would have been a great dad. He was a great man.” Gazing into Adagio’s eyes, I touch his face. “Now you can do what he can’t.”
“It will be a privilege.”
Falling into a comfortable silence, he continues to caress my stomach, causing the baby to move. “Wow!” he says, feeling a firm kick. “He is a strong one. Maybe he will be a soccer player.”
“He's really active and gives me some pretty hard ones. Maybe he will be. Will you teach him?”
“It will be one of the first things on my list to do with him when he is old enough.” He lets his hand follow the baby’s strong movements for a while longer before finally lacing his fingers between mine.
“When do you think you would like to be married?” he asks.
Longing to start a life with him, I would marry him today if I could and it still wouldn't be soon enough, but I have to be reasonable and plan. “How about a month after the baby is born? It will give us time to prepare and get mine and the baby’s things sent ahead of time. And maybe my figure will be half way back to normal by then.”
He gives me a warm smile. “It will be difficult, but I guess I can hold out that long.” His thoughts are transparent, his gaze causing warmth to spread through me because my thoughts are the same.
“Besides,” he adds, “it will be enough just to be with you and know you will be completely mine soon.”
“I feel the same.” I caress his face, not able to resist touching him. I love touching him, and having him touch me. Looking at me intently, he opens his mouth to stay something, then stops.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Well . . . I don't how to say this except to just say it.” He twists a lock of my hair around his finger. “Cisely, I have never . . . you will be the first for me . . . the first and only.”
I am touched by his need to share this with me. Of course that fact would have eventually been known, but I am still amazed and grateful for his moral principles–principles that I once lacked. “And you will be my last.” I silently study his handsome face for a moment. “You know, my minds keeps bringing up the same questions. Why am I so lucky? What have I done to deserve this? To deserve you?”
He pulls me against him, tightening his embrace, pressing his lips against my brow. “I ask myself those same things. “What have I done to deserve you? I have no answer. But I know we are meant to be together now.”
“I feel the same.”
Adagio says nothing more. He doesn't need to because I know his heart and he knows mine. We are beginning a new chapter in our lives. I can't believe how much everything has changed in a matter of months. The changes have been painful, but the tender mercies have been wondrous.
“Well,” Adagio says, “shall we go and share our news with Jessica?”
“Sure. I’m ready whenever you are.”
He helps me up, immediately pulling me into his arms. Holding his face between my hands, I am freshly amazed at the love I see in his eyes. I am tempted to feel guilty for loving him, but a deeper part of me knows Ingo wouldn't begrudge us the happiness we've found in each other.
Adagio presses his mouth to mine, kissing me passionately. And as the passion of our kiss grows, so does my longing for him.
He draws back slowly. “I promise to never hurt you, Cisely. I will try to be a good husband. I know I can never take Ingo’s place in your heart, nor would I even try, but I do promise to love and cherish you always.”
“And I promise you the same.” My thoughts drift as I contemplate the fact that I am not alone anymore. I will be sharing my life and raising my child with the last person I ever expected to be with this way. And he is perfect for me in every way.
When I am quiet a little too long, Adagio asks,“Are you really all right with this, Cisely? Do you think we are moving too fast?”
I smile, shaking my head. “No, I don't. I want to
be your wife. I was just thinking about how much you have filled the space in my heart . . . and I hope Ingo truly understands.”
“He does, amore,” he says, brushing a hand against my cheek. “This is right. A week ago I was not sure about anything. Today I am sure about everything.”
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kiss him again. A sudden kick from the baby interrupts the moment.
“Okay, little one,” he says, rubbing my stomach. “I will stop for now, but we are going to pick this up later.” As if the baby understands, he makes another small movement and I chuckle, grimacing slightly.
“I think he got that.”
Entering the house to grab my purse, I stop for a moment and rub the ache in my stomach. It soon fades and I can't stop the grin spreading across my face. I am happy and in love, and nothing will be the same again.
Adagio meets Cisely at the bottom of the stairs and takes her hand. Walking out onto the porch, her step slows. Holding her stomach with one hand, she grabs Adagio’s arm with the other.
“What is it, amore?” It takes her a few seconds to answer. “It was a contraction. I've been having them on and off for a couple of days now, but . . . not like this one.”
Adagio puts his arm around her and waits for the pain to pass. “Come. Let’s go and sit.” He walks her into the living room and eases her onto the couch. Sitting down next to her, he lifts her legs, placing them across his lap.
Leaning back against the pillows, she releases a deep sigh. “Thank you. I think if I sit here for a moment I’ll be . . .”
Before she can finish, another contraction hits and it's much sharper than the first. Looking at his watch, Adagio starts timing them, just in case it is real labor. When she has another contraction a couple of minutes later, he says they should head to the hospital.
“Where is your bag?”
“It’s in my bedroom closet on the floor.”
Locating the small suitcase she packed a couple of weeks ago, he hurries down and sets it by the door, and then goes back to Cisely.
“Can you walk?”
“I think so.” She tries to stand, but another contraction hits and she moans, gripping his arm.
When the pain passes, he lifts her in his arms and carries her out to the car. He leans the seat back, making her as comfortable as possible. Putting the suitcase in the back seat, he quickly gets in and heads to the hospital.
Thirty-five
Adagio reaches for my hand and I squeeze as another pain comes.
“It's going to be okay, baby.” His voice is soft.
Nodding, I concentrate on breathing deeply and it helps to make the pain a little more bearable. Beads of perspiration cover my forehead. At the squeeze of my hand, I open my eyes, taking in the worried look on his face. “I’m okay, my love.”
He smiles a little, kissing my hand. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. And I’m so glad you’re here with me.”
Adagio's relief is audible as we approach the hospital. He pulls up to the entrance of the Women's Center and parks the car, then walks me into labor and delivery.
The pain is so intense, I can hardly think. My water breaks and the nurse calls my doctor. When Dr. March arrives, Adagio waits in the hall while she checks me. He comes back and she tells us it won’t be long. She is also surprised at how fast my labor is progressing with it being my first baby. Adagio sits on the edge of the bed, holding my hand. With each contraction, I grip his hand so hard, I am sure there will be bruises. He kisses me, brushing the hair from my face. Another contraction comes and I breathe through it, never taking my eyes from his. His presence sustains me and his comforting strength makes me love him even more.
When Judy tells us it is time, Adagio moves to leave and I tighten my grip on his hand.
“Don't go. Stay with me . . . please.”
“Are you sure?”
I nod, breathing through another contraction. He stays at the head of the bed with me, whispering words of comfort against my ear as I begin the stage of pushing. I latch on to his added strength with each breath I take and each contraction I push through.
Then our son is born and neither of us can hold back the tears.
Relaxing against the inclined bed with my face pressed against Adagio's, my thoughts shift to Ingo and I try to imagine his joy at the moment, wondering if it is anything close to mine. I will forever be grateful for the part of himself he left behind.
“You did it, Cisely!” Judy says, squeezing my hand.
I smile, relief flowing through me. “Is he okay?”
“He’s absolutely beautiful and perfect.” The nurse cleans the baby off, weighs him and places him in my arms. “He's eight pounds, three ounces. Not bad for being a week early.”
“He’s so beautiful!” Adagio says, caressing his soft cheek.
“He is,” I tearfully agree.
“So, what’s the little guy’s name going to be?”
Meeting Adagio's loving gaze, I smile. “Ingo Kelly St. John.” Adagio and I made the decision on the way to the hospital. In our hearts we know there can be no other name.
“St. John?” Judy questions.
“Adagio and I are getting married. He will be Ingo’s father.”
“Congratulations to you both!” There are tears in her eyes.
“Thank you,” Adagio says, kissing my lips softly. “I am a very blessed man.”
“Amen to that,” Judy says with a smile.
While Cisely is changed and settled, Judy sends Adagio down to the nursery to bathe Ingo. He then takes a moment to call Jessica at the boutique. He tells her about their engagement, and when he announces they now have a son, he has to hold the phone away from his ear as Jessica shares the news with the women in the shop and they all cheer.
Entering Cisely’s room, he pushes a small bed with the sleeping baby inside, taking a moment to silently gaze at the beautiful face of the woman he loves. Lifting little Ingo from the bed, he cradles him, marveling at the miracle of his new life.
“ Amore,” he says softly.
Cisely opens her eyes. Her smile is serene.
“Our son wants to be with his mama.” He places the
sleeping infant in her arms. She slides over on the bed and Adagio gently lay back beside her. Cisely presses her nose against Ingo’s cheek, inhaling the scent of his soft skin. “He is so perfect.”
“He is.” Adagio caresses the tiny fingers. “He is a miracle. Life is a miracle.”
“I am so happy, Adagio. And having you with me means so much.”
“I will always be here for you.” Touching her face, he marvels anew that she is really going to be his.
“The only thing that will make it all complete is becoming your wife.”
His smile is warm. “I look forward to that day more than anything.” Kissing her tenderly, he silently thanks God for helping Cisely get through the delivery and blessing them both with this precious gift.
Thirty-six
I gain my strength back quickly after the birth of Ingo, and I am filled with a joy that cannot be put into words. Having a child of my own is a fulfilling responsibility, one that I eagerly look forward to each morning. I cherish every moment with our son, celebrating each waking cry and savoring each feeding.
Adagio is an amazing father already, the role seeming as natural to him as breathing. He now spends most of his time with me, helping out with the baby whenever he can so I can rest. Now that we are engaged, our need to be near each other is even stronger and we desperately long for our wedding day. It can't come fast enough.
I receive a large package from Ingo’s family containing gifts for the baby. I call Gloria and Patrick to thank them. I'm a little nervous about telling them of my engagement to Adagio, but it has to be done. Ingo is their grandson and they have a right to know he will have a new father. I am both surprised and touched by their support. Patrick says Adagio is a great guy and will make a good father for Ingo. And because Adagio was such
a good friend to his son and has been here for me, he can't think of a better man for me to marry. I promise to keep in touch, as well as keep them updated on their grandchild. And at Adagio’s insistence, I invite them to come and see little Ingo whenever they want.
We stay busy packing and preparing for the wedding, our excitement and longing for each other growing by the minute. There is much to do, which helps to pass the time. Adagio buys a stroller for Ingo, and in the evenings we take walks through the neighborhood. It gives me the exercise I need and helps me get back in shape.
I also spend a lot of time pondering my future. Though I will miss my home in Utah, I'm looking forward to my new life with Adagio. Italy will definitely be a big change, but it is a change I'm ready for.
The summer night before our wedding is pleasant after a scorching afternoon. At 101 degrees, the air conditioner has been running all day and staying outdoors for any length of time was misery, so the cool breeze is appreciated and savored.
Sitting on the front porch swing, Adagio tells me more about Treviso, our home and the restaurant, which lays a lot of my fears to rest. Tackling the language is going to be a big job, but being married to a man who speaks the language fluently will make the transition much smoother. I am actually looked forward to learning Italian. I have always thought it a beautiful language.
Adagio's arms are around me, his embrace comfortable and secure. “I hope you don't mind, but I had Anna purchase some nursery furniture for Ingo. I also had her redecorate the master bedroom a little for us.”
“You did?” I am surprised and touched.
“Yes. I told her to add a few feminine things, you know, brighter bedding and curtains and things, just to add a woman’s touch. Of course, if you don't like it, you can change it.”
“I’m sure I will love it. You really didn't need to change anything, but thank you for being so thoughtful.”
“I just want you to be happy there. It means everything to me.”
