by ADAMS, J.
“My mother was raised in North Carolina. Her childhood was painful, full of abuse and neglect . . .”
When he hesitates, Mali gives his hand a comforting squeeze, urging him to go on. She'd never known much about Cisely's life and is anxious to hear more.
“Mama went through years of drug and alcohol addiction before becoming clean and sober.”
Mali's eyes again widen. She would never have guessed Cisely had had so many struggles, and she can't picture her ever living that kind of life. She turns her attention back to what he is saying.
“A little over a year after becoming sober, Mama met a woman named Jessica Kelly. She was visiting from Salt Lake. Jessica was Ingo's aunt.”
“That's amazing.”
“It is. Jessica and Mama became close in the week Jessica was there. A couple of months after she left, Mama received a letter from Jessica inviting her to come and stay with her in Utah for a while in the hope that she would grow to love it so much, she would want to stay permanently. So Mama went because she wanted to start over. While she was living with Jessica, Ingo came to visit. His aunt introduced him to Mama, they fell in love and soon married.”
“So, your brother was named after his biological father,” Mali interjects.
“Yes, but it was actually a decision made by Mama and Papa.” When Mali looks confused, he continues on quickly. “You see, not very long after they were married, Ingo was killed in a skiing accident.”
“How awful!” Mali says, imagining the grief Cisely and Adagio must have felt.
“It was,” he agrees. “But Mama and Papa were a comfort to each other and a bond formed between them. Then they slowly began to fall in love. They tried for a while to fight their feelings for each other, and they both experienced guilt over the love they felt, but the time soon came when they could no longer deny what was between them. They both prayed a great deal and eventually came to the conclusion that what they felt was right and they were supposed to be together.
“After they admitted their love for each other, Papa asked Mama to marry him and she accepted. Before she had the baby they decided together that his name should be Ingo Kelly St. John. They married a month after my brother was born and have been happy ever since.”
“That's incredible!” Mali says, awed by the whole story. “They have an amazing marriage. It's like they were meant to be together.”
“They were. I've never seen a couple more connected than they are.”
Cupping his face, she leans over and kisses him and softly says, “That is the kind of love we will have.”
He smiles. “We will.”
Phillip takes Mali home and they stand on the front porch for a while, holding one another.
“I don't want the night to end,” he whispers, tightening his embrace a little.
“Neither do I,” she says, relishing the feel of his arms around her. She looks into his eyes. “I look forward to the day when we won't have to say goodbye to each other.”
Pressing a kiss to her brow, he buries his face in her hair. “So do I,” he murmurs, then sighs. “I love you so much.” “I love you, too. More than words can express.”
“Soon the day will come when you will be totally mine. On that day there will be no more holding back, and I will be able to fully show you how much I love you.”
Mali felt warmth spread through her. Pressing a kiss to his lips, she whispers, “I long for that day as well.”
Ninety-nine
Three weeks later. Surrounded by family and a few close friends, Phillip and Mali pledge their love to each other and are married on our veranda, continuing the family tradition. As Adagio and I witness our son's union, we are deeply grateful that another of our children has found happiness.
Looking over at Ingo and his wife, I feel a deep sense of contentment. They are doing well and seem very happy. Watching Ingo for a moment, I can't help thinking of how much he looks like my first husband. He has his father's looks and mannerisms, and I can see why his wife immediately fell in love with him.
I smile, glancing over at Sadie and Peter. They are so good together. It's obvious how much they adore each other, and I am grateful to have them in my life.
I feel the absence of Anna and her husband, Mario, and hope all is well with them. Mario underwent hip surgery last week and isn't able to travel. We are all disappointed that they can't be here, but they are in everyone's thoughts.
I look over at Wendy, saddened that she is still alone, and I hope she will one day find love again. I know Wendy still hopes for that as well, but she seems happier now than she has been in years, which makes me happy.
All the way around, life is good. I finally turn, meeting Adagio's loving gaze, and sense his contentment in the life we share as well. He lifts my hand to his lips, silently conveying his love for me. I return the emotion with my own adoring gaze before turning my attention to our son and his bride.
Phillip gazes into Mali's eyes as they are pronounced man and wife. And when he kisses her, those words penetrate his heart. He has longed for this day since he was twelve, and now that it is really here, it is everything he'd hoped for and more.
Mali sheds tears of joy as she contemplates that she is now Mrs. Adagio Phillip St. John the second. After everything that has happened in her life, she never thought she could be so happy or so blessed. She loves Phillip with all her heart and soul, and she is thankful that he never gave up on her.
At the conclusion of the ceremony, the two are showered with hugs from family and friends. Wendy and Mali share a long and emotional embrace. Finally releasing her, Wendy hugs Phillip.
“Thank you,” she whispers tearfully. “Thank you for loving my daughter, and for helping her to realize how worthy she is of being loved.”
He returns her embrace with fervor. “It is a privilege for me to love your daughter,” he whispers back with emotion.
Adagio and I stand and wait until the last of the hugs are given. Then it is our turn. Adagio takes Phillip's face in his hands and presses a kiss to his forehead. Then looking into his eyes, he says, “I am so proud of you, son. You are a good man.”
Tears quickly fill Phillip's eyes. “My goal has always been to be like you, Papa.”
“You are a better man than me, son.” Adagio then embraces Mali and says, “Welcome to the family, Mrs. St. John.” He moves back, touching her face. “We have always considered you a member of our family. Now it is official and I could not be happier.”
“Thank you,” Mali says, smiling through the tears. “I feel the same.”
Phillip reaches for me and I move into his embrace. Nothing is said between us, for no words are needed. He knows my heart just as I have always known his.
Drawing back, I press a hand to his face. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Mama,” he says back with emotion. “And I love you, my daughter,” I say, hugging Mali.
“I love you too.” She smiles. “I guess I can't call you Aunt Cisely anymore.”
I grin. “Cisely will do just fine.”
After the wedding, we head over to the restaurant for a wedding brunch. Adagio had posted a flier two weeks ago informing customer that we would be closed today. He offered to pay the kitchen crew for working, but Sam and the rest of the employees insisted on doing the reception for free, offering their services as a wedding gift to Phillip and Mali.
The afternoon is filled with fun, laughter, good food, and warm conversation.
Phillip can't keep his eyes off Mali, anticipating the time when they will finally be alone. When the festivities finally die down, he takes his bride's hand in his and announces, “We're grateful to all of you for being here to help celebrate our marriage, and we want to thank you for all you've done to help make this day so special.” He grins slyly. “But now it's time for my wife and I to hit the road.” After some laughter, he adds, “We will see you all next week.” And with that, he picks up his grinning bride and carries her out of the restauran
t, laughing as they move through the cheering crowd.
As they pass his parents, he hears his mother tell his father, “He is definitely your son.”
Phillip smiles as his father laughs and pulls his mother close, saying back, “Exactly!”
The newlyweds change and ride the train into Venice to stay for the night before flying to Greece.
When they reach their suite, Phillip puts Mali down to unlock the door. As soon as they are inside, he pulls her into his arms and kisses her more passionately than he'd ever allowed himself to before. Mali clings to him and he feels both dizzy and deliriously in love.
Parting his lips from hers slightly, he whispers, “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” she whispers back just before he picks her up and carries her into the bedroom. And when the door is closed, he teaches Mali what it means to be loved by Phillip St. John.
Adagio and I visit with our children and Wendy, and talk for the rest of the afternoon. As it grows late, we finally say goodnight and return to the main part of the house.
I change into a gown, replaying the events of the afternoon in my mind. It was a beautiful ceremony and I am so happy for Philip and Mali. The two have traveled a long hard road, but they made it, and I am sure their love will be stronger for it. I absently rub my leg for a moment just below the knee before picking up the brush to run it through my hair.
“Is it bothering you, amore?” Adagio asks, entering the bathroom at that moment.
“A little,” I answer with a smile. “No more than normal.” He takes the brush from my hand and places it on the
counter. Grabbing a bottle of lotion, he takes my hand. “Come,” he says, leading me to the bed. Leaning back against the pillows, I stretch out my leg. Adagio rubs some lotion between his hands and gently massages it into my leg. I close my eyes and sigh as he performs the ritual he'd started years ago whenever my leg gives me any trouble.
“Thank you,” I say softly.
“You are welcome.” He looks into my eyes. “It is nothing compared to the sacrifice you made that day in the rain.” He runs his fingers over the long scar below my knee.
“Not very pretty, is it?”
“No,” he answers, leaning down and kissing it. “It is beautiful because it is a part of you.” He continues to run his finger over the raised line of skin. “This scar will always remind me of how fragile life is, and it helps me remember to never take you for granted.”
I press a hand into his hair and caress his face. “You never have.”
Pouring more lotion into his hand, he continues to massage my leg. “It has been a wonderful day.”
“It has been. And it's so good to see Ingo again. I will miss his little family when they go back to the states.”
“So will I.”
When Adagio is finished, I thank him again and we get in bed.
“Well,” he says, turning off the light and pulling me close, “only two more weddings to go, Mrs. St. John.”
I smile, snuggling deeper in his arms. “It won't be long at all”.
“Time is passing by quickly.” His voice is soft.
I hear the unspoken words in his somber tone. Cupping his cheek, I kiss his lips in the darkness. “I love you, Adagio.”
“I love you,” he murmurs back, deepening the kiss, and I silently relish his warmth as his touch transports me to another world–a world where our love roams free and we are untouched by time.
One hundred
We watch the growth and progression of our family with quiet contentment.
Phillip and Mali have adjusted to married life well. I am very happy they chose to live with us, and Adagio is pleased to have Phillip take over the position of head chef at the restaurant. He trusts Phillip implicitly and knows the kitchen crew is in good hands.
Three months after the wedding, we take a trip back to the states and spend a week with Ingo and his family. We treasure the time we are able to spend with our grandchildren. While we are in the states, we spend a few days in Salt Lake City. We relish being alone in the big house and again soak in the many memories we've made there through the years.
The following year our family is abundantly blessed with more grandchildren. Ingo's wife gives birth to a son they name Patrick, after his biological grandfather, and Phillip and Mali are blessed with triplet girls. They named one Marcella, after Adagio's mother, one, Geneva, after mine, and the third, Jessica. Needless to say, we are very touched by their name choices. The babies are small and have to remain in the hospital for a few weeks, but they are healthy and grow quickly.
We love our grandchildren beyond words and take every opportunity to spoil them as much as possible.
Within four years, we welcome three more grandchildren, including a son born to Mali and Phillip. There is no question as to what he will be named, and Adagio is thrilled to finally have a grandson carry on his name.
Isabelle falls in love and marries a young chef working at the restaurant. Martino Battiato is a wonderful man from an affluent family who loves Isabelle with all his heart. The two were made for each other and are very happy.
Ian returns from college in California. The next year he marries Serena, an old friend, who also happens to be Martino's sister. We are pleased that both siblings are settled only twenty minutes away in Venice. We love having them so close and visit them often. Life is very good.
As I enter this new phase of my life, I find the purpose of life ever present in my mind. The years are passing quickly, but time is also ringing more eternal. And my thoughts are permanently fixed on the important things.
Cisely St. John's journal
One hundred-one
The years come and go, and more grandchildren are born. Many holidays see the big house full of running and laughing children as we keep up our tradition of getting together every other year for Christmas.
And every evening, Adagio and I relax on the veranda and enjoy the sunset. We discuss our children and what is going on in their lives. They are all doing well and continually striving to live good lives. They have trials in life just like everyone else in the world, but they get through them and continue to endure. We can't ask for more for them.
After decades of absence, the nightmares have started again. I try to pinpoint a trigger, but there is none, and though they aren't as vivid or intense as they once were, they still cause me to awaken in a cold sweat. On these nights, Adagio holds me, giving me comfort. And when his arms are not enough, he makes love to me and helps me forget. His kisses and touches are like a healing balm, and I eagerly lose myself in his love.
I find myself passing many days in analytical thought and conversations with Adagio about the dreams, but nothing seems to bring me the clarity I seek.
So I try to let it go.
With the passing of years, the sporadic nightmares continue, causing me to grow restless. I try to stay busy, doing charity work, traveling with Adagio, and anything else I can do to keep emotionally and physically active, but it still isn't enough to calm the restlessness. It is almost like there is something I am supposed to be doing, only I don't know what it is. Adagio begins to feel it as well.
We finally sit down and discuss our feelings. After pondering on it a while, the answer to my dilemma comes.
And it is an answer that completely surprises us both.
A sense of melancholy fills me as I take in the familiar scenic beauty of North Carolina. It has been many years since we visited the state of my birth, and now here we are, back in Asheville.
And I have no idea why.
Pete and Donna have long since passed away, and Velma and her husband moved to New York years ago, so I don't know why I've felt such a strong need to return.
We have been in North Carolina for a while now, and though we miss the family, we've enjoyed ourselves immensely. However, each morning when I awaken, I carry the hope that I will finally discover what has drawn me back. For now, we will just tour the state and stop where
it feels right.
We've been in Winston Salem for two months and plan to stay another month before going back to Italy. I've thoroughly enjoyed our time here, and though I still don't have a clue why we are here, there is still time to find out.
After spending the morning doing laundry, shopping for groceries, and writing letters to the family, we decide to grab some lunch at the mall food court. Adagio pulls into a parking spot, then comes around and opens the door for me. I thank him, giving him my hand.
Walking to the entrance, I glance over and find him staring at me. I smile. “What are you thinking about, my love?”
He smiles back slowly. “I was just thinking that no matter how old we get, you will always be the most beautiful thing in the world to me.”
I squeeze his hand. “I feel the same way about you.”
When we enter the mall, he whispers, “Okay, amore, don't look in any store windows until after we have eaten. Otherwise, I will starve waiting for you to shop.”
I laugh. “Don't worry. I won't put you through that today. Besides, we already have plenty of souvenirs for everyone, so I'll probably only shop for things we will need until we leave for home.” I chuckle as Adagio feigns relief.
We walk through the mall at a leisurely pace, observing people coming and going. The crowd is more teenagers than adults. Leaning over to Adagio, I whisper, “I suddenly feel very old.”
He grins. “Well, if you are old, baby, I guess I am ancient.”
I pat his hand. “Oh, you're not ancient, just very mature.” He smirks and I laugh.
We pass by a group of rowdy teenagers. The girls are immodestly dressed with various piercings in their ears and on their faces. The guys are equally disturbing, wearing baggy clothing and multiple piercings as well.
