by K. C. Wells
“Hey, what’s your name? Where you from, sexy?”
Oh shit. Kevin wasn’t usually in the habit of interfering, but it was obvious from the wide-eyed, panicked stare and taut body posture that the young guy did not welcome Brenden’s advances.
Kevin walked across to stand in front of Brenden. He waited until Brenden regarded him with unfocused eyes and then leaned across the bar with his heavily muscled arms, tattoos all the way down to his knuckles, and growled. “I think we’ve had enough here, don’t you, Brenden? Now back off.”
Brenden stiffened. “Sure… sure thing, Kev.” He nodded in the young man’s direction and then sloped off the barstool, heading toward the restroom.
Kevin watched him go with a shake of his head before turning his attention to the young guy in front of him. “You okay, kid?”
The young guy took a couple of deep breaths. “Yeah… thanks for that.” He gave Kevin a shy smile.
Kevin couldn’t resist. He reached across the bar and pinched the kid’s cheek. “You are just so cute!” He chuckled when the lad’s cheeks glowed bright red. “What’s your name, kid?”
“Tommy.” To Kevin’s surprise, Tommy extended a hand toward him and gripped his in a firm shake.
Kevin nodded appreciatively. “Well hi, Tommy. I’m Kevin. That’s a nice handshake you got there.” The feel of those calluses told him plenty. Tommy was a working man, and Kevin was liking him more and more by the second. Kevin smiled at him. “Anyhoo, I’ll let you finish your food.” Tommy gave him a brief nod, and Kevin walked off to the other side of the bar where Patrick was serving.
The older bartender peered at him with interest. “So? Does the puppy have a name?” His eyes gleamed.
Kevin chuckled. “His name is Tommy, and don’t you go calling him puppy to his face now, y’hear?” He shrugged and added, “He seems nice enough. I’ll see if I can find out some more about him, seeing as he’s taken a shine to our Mike.” Kevin grinned. “I’ll be sure not to scare him off. ’Bout time Mike got laid when it’s not in front of a camera.” He waggled his eyebrows and then went back to work.
The bar was packed as usual for a Saturday night, and Kevin, Patrick, and Don had to work their asses off to keep up, especially being a bartender down. When things had cooled off a little, he went around the bar to where Tommy was still sitting, observing the customers and occasionally raising his eyes toward the TV.
“You want another Cherry Coke, Tommy?” When he got a shy smile and a nod, Kevin was on it. He placed the glass in front of him and leaned forward, elbows on the bar. “So, where you from?”
“Americus, Sumter County.” Tommy gave a slight shrug. “It’s a real small town, so you might not’ve heard of it. Near Tifton.”
Kevin grinned. “I had you for a Georgia boy with that accent.” He loved the way Tommy’s cheeks grew pink. Next to him, Kevin could hear Patrick conversing with a customer, that deep voice rumbling away. He gave Tommy his full attention. “You’re not dating anyone right now, are you?”
Lord, those cheeks were scarlet. “No, sir.”
Damn, but he was a polite one. “An’ we know why that is, right? Seems you have a thing for older guys.” Kevin winked, and Tommy swallowed, eyes wide.
Beside him Patrick snickered and then leaned around Kevin to address Tommy. “Hey, I’m an older guy too, y’know.” He leered. “How about it, kid?”
Tommy burst out laughing, the sound delightful. “Er, thanks for the offer, sir, but no.” It was a good look on him.
“Hey, can I get you a shot of something? On the house?” Kevin offered.
Tommy shook his head. “That’s real kind of you, sir, but I don’t drink. An’ even if I did, I got my truck, an’ I wouldn’t drink an’ drive.”
Kevin nodded. Yeah, he was liking Tommy more and more. “Well, when you’re ready, the first one’s on me, y’hear?” Tommy gave him that shy smile.
Patrick leaned forward, lowering his voice. “I’ll bet Mike will be sorry to have missed you, but lover boy is out in LA, working in the heat—”
Kevin gave Patrick a swift dig in the ribs with his elbow, making the older man gape at him in surprise. “Yeah, well I’m sure Mike’s having a wonderful time on his celebrity bus tour.” He gave Patrick a meaningful stare.
Patrick frowned. “What the…?” Then his brow cleared. “Oh, yeah, he’s prob’ly having a grand ol’ time.” Nodding to Tommy, he walked off around the bar, Kevin following him. When they were out of sight and sound of Tommy, Patrick opened his eyes wide. “You think he doesn’t know about Mike?”
Kevin snorted. “I’d bet next month’s tips on it. Oh, I’m sure he’ll find out eventually, but let’s see what happens before we get to that point, okay?” He grinned. “Don’t you wanna see how things go between those two? Lord knows Mike sorely needs someone since Dirk hauled ass outta his life.” He stared at Patrick. “No sense in bursting the kid’s bubble. He’s obviously a sweet little shy boy. Besides, it’s not our place to tell him, it’s Mike’s. Right?”
Patrick nodded slowly. “You’re right.” Then he chuckled.
“What?”
Patrick grinned. “I’m just picturin’ Mike and shy boy over there in a lip-lock. Think I’d pay good money to see that.” He went off behind the bar, whistling.
Kevin smiled to himself. Lord, now there was an image.
TOMMY OPENED the door that connected Ben’s basement apartment with the rest of the house and made his way to the large kitchen. Everywhere was quiet, as it usually was on a Sunday morning. Ben was still fast asleep, as it was way too early for his ass to be out of bed. Tommy knew from habit that the only person likely to be around at that hour would be Ben’s sister, Bethany.
Sure enough, Bethany was leaning against the counter, her bathrobe tied loosely around her waist, a mug of coffee already in her hands. She smiled when he walked in.
“I was wondering where my Sunday morning coffee buddy had gotten to.”
She put down her mug and poured him some coffee. This had become their regular time to chat. Every Sunday morning, Bethany got up real early to play tennis at the Piedmont Driving Club, and she and Tommy would meet in the kitchen to drink coffee and shoot the breeze. He liked these times. Usually when she and Ben were together, the atmosphere was very different. Her nose was either permanently lodged in a book or in Ben’s business. The siblings couldn’t be more different. Bethany was the studious one. She was dead set on being an international business lawyer like her daddy. Ben, on the other hand, was the one who always completed his assignments at the very last minute, scraping through by the skin of his teeth. The number of times he expressed gratitude for having a damn good memory…. Bethany clearly disapproved of his happy-go-lucky attitude.
Bethany studied him for a moment while they drank their coffee in a comfortable silence. Tommy didn’t mind her much. He’d not gotten on all that well with his own sister, Mary, who was older than him, and Bethany was nothing like her. As the months had gone by and they’d grown accustomed to each other, he’d relaxed around Bethany enough to share a joke now and then.
Tommy sipped his coffee, leaning against the counter next to her. Bethany paused, coffee mug in hand, and tilted her head, staring at him.
“So, are you out yet?”
His throat seized up, and breathing suddenly became a chore. He knew his chin was trembling—hell, his legs were shaking, if it came to that—and he must’ve looked the perfect poster boy for shit scared.
Finally he found words. “’Scuse me?” He was still too stunned to say more.
Bethany put down her coffee mug and patted his arm. “It’s okay,” she said with a smile. “I’m starting to get used to it.”
Tommy took several large gulps of air. He wasn’t about to deny it, all the meetings he’d attended and the stuff he’d watched online had given him more confidence, but it was still a shock to hear Bethany speak of his sexuality so matter-of-factly.
“How’d you know?” he said at l
ast.
Bethany smirked. “Tommy, I’m standing here in my bathrobe, and you haven’t even looked at my tits once.” Her eyes sparkled. “Like I said, I’m getting used to it. Only, please tell me you haven’t got the hots for my brother. ’Cause that there is a train wreck just waiting to happen.” Her lips twitched.
Oh, this just got better. “You know about Ben?” From what his roommate had said, the family was oblivious.
Bethany burst out into a peal of laughter. “Oh, honey, most of Fulton County knows about Ben, and probably half of DeKalb, for that matter. That boy left a trail of broken hearts—male and female—all the way through high school.”
“Do your parents know?”
Bethany shrugged. “I’d say they might suspect, Mom more than Dad. He tends to live with his nose pressed between the pages of the Wall Street Journal most of the time.”
Tommy found her comment highly ironic. His panic had receded a little, leaving him able to regain his composure.
“So I guess that’s a no to my first question, huh?” Bethany said with a half smile. She gestured toward the kitchen table, and Tommy nodded. They pulled out chairs and sat down.
Tommy studied his coffee mug. “Ben knows, of course, and my friend Carla, but that was only ’cause they guessed. I’ve not really come out to anyone I have classes with. But I’ve done some stuff that I’ve never done before, and that’s made me feel better about myself, y’know? More confident?” Like going to Woofs of a Saturday night to drool over Mike. He’d never have done anything like that a year ago. But then a year ago, he was only just coming to terms with the realization that girls left him cold, whereas boys got him all hot ’n’ bothered.
Bethany nodded. “Like what, for instance?”
“Well, I went to some meetin’s, for one thing. Just alumni meetin’s at the LGBT center at the university, but that was easy ’cause I didn’t know those folks from Adam. People were really supportive, and I felt comfortable bein’ there. And then there’s the stuff I’ve been watchin’ online too.”
Bethany’s cheeks pinked right up. “You been watching porn, Tommy?” Her lips were twitching again.
He sat bolt upright. “Oh Lord, no!” He wouldn’t have dared. “I meant I watch videos from that site, It Gets Better.” Anything that helped him to mentally explore what it meant to be gay.
“Oh.” Bethany’s eyes shone. “’Cause if you wanted to watch porn, I’m sure my brother could probably oblige you. Heaven knows what he has on that laptop of his.”
“Now there’s a scary thought,” Tommy said with a shudder. When Bethany regarded him quizzically, he couldn’t help smiling. “The browsin’ history on Ben’s laptop. I don’t know ’bout you, but I ain’t brave enough to look.”
They stared at one another for a moment, and then they burst out laughing. Bethany got up from her chair and brought the coffeepot over to the table.
“You’re okay with me knowing, then?”
Tommy smiled at her as she poured them out a second mug. “Yeah, sure. I’m glad, in a way. Lately I’ve been thinking ’bout tellin’ my parents.” Telling someone of his intentions somehow made it all that more real.
Bethany paused in midpour. “Really? How’d you think they’d take that?”
It was a question Tommy had asked himself many times during the last few months. During his first year at college, there’d been no question of telling them. He’d been too damn scared. But now? Things were different. He was different, especially since he’d laid eyes on Mike. Over two months had passed since that first night in Woofs, and it was getting harder to ignore how he felt when he saw the muscled bartender with the wide, furry pecs, thick, strong-looking arms, and eyes so blue Tommy wanted to drown in them. Just thinking about him sent a shiver dancing up and down his spine and a tingle through his balls.
With a supreme effort, he shoved aside those delightful images and focused on the subject matter. “I watched this one video of an Air Force guy who came out to his parents on YouTube,” he said. “I’d have been terrified to do somethin’ like that, but his folks were so supportive in the end, and it worked out all right. An’ watching all these people who hid how they felt, dreadin’ tellin’ their friends an’ family…. When it came down to it, it wasn’t half as bad as they’d anticipated.”
Bethany’s brow knitted. “Yeah, but, honey? I hear what Ben tells me about your folks. God-fearing people, he says. Now, he must’ve gotten that from you, right? In my experience, limited though that may be, God-fearing parents and gay kids just don’t mix all that well.” She laid a hand on his arm, the touch gentle. “You sure you want to do this? ’Cause once you open this particular can of worms, there’s no going back. You need to feel pretty sure that they’ll be okay with this.”
Tommy sighed. “I can’t live like this, Bethany. In one of those videos, I heard one woman tell her son that at first she’d thought he was just goin’ through a phase, and that he’d grow out of it. When it became clear this was no phase, she had to accept this is how he was, a gay man. Well, I know this ain’t no phase. I am gay. This is how I was born. I don’t believe the Lord would have made me this way if this wasn’t how I was meant to be.” He grabbed hold of her hand and squeezed it. “An’ I don’t believe my momma and daddy would turn their backs on me. They love me.” Didn’t his momma tell him that, every time they spoke on the phone?
“I don’t dispute that, really I don’t,” Bethany said quickly, her fingers tightening around his. “I’m just saying that when faced with something like this, your parents are gonna have to make a choice between their love for you and what they believe the Bible says about you. None of us really know how we would react in any specific situation until we find ourselves smack dab in the middle of that situation.”
Tommy knew what she was getting at. Hell, he’d worried about it many a night, tossing and turning in his bed. Even going back a couple of months, he’d had his concerns. But everything he’d seen so far, everything he’d read, was telling him that it was all going to be okay.
He had to see it like that. The alternative didn’t bear thinking about.
“I’ll see how things are at Christmas,” he told her, “an’ if it’s looking positive, then I’ll tell them.” The holidays were always a good time to be with his family, everyone happy and looking forward to the New Year.
He couldn’t think of a better time to tell them.
Chapter Six
THE HOUSE was peaceful again, not that Tommy had minded the last couple of days. As far back as he could remember, Christmas had always been a time of noise and laughter, carols and the crackling of log fires, and this year had been no different. The day itself had been wonderful. Mary and her husband, Dan, had spent it with them, and it had turned out to be a joyous occasion when they’d revealed their news. Tommy was still grinning about the prospect of becoming an uncle. As for Momma, she was already phoning all her girlfriends, spreading the news that she was gonna be a grandma. Daddy’d just chuckled quietly to himself when he’d seen her on the phone, and then he’d gone up into the attic to search out the wooden crib he’d made for Mary’s birth. He wasn’t as vocal as Momma, but it was plain to see he was delighted too.
It was almost nine o’clock, and Tommy was feeling as full as a tick on a fat hound dog. Momma was constantly pushing food at him: thick sandwiches filled with slices of her glazed ham and a layer of mustard; turkey casserole with slick, tender dumplings; the brownies Mary had brought, rich and decadent, with pecans and juicy raisins in them. Tommy felt sure he’d put on at least five pounds in one day, he’d eaten that much. But damn, it sure was good. No one cooked like his momma.
He stood in front of the Christmas tree, letting the scent of pine fill his senses while he gazed at the ornaments and garlands that adorned it.
“You sure I can’t tempt you to some of my peanut butter cookies?” Momma was at his side, her hand at his back.
Tommy chuckled. “Are you tryin’ to say I need to put o
n some weight, Momma? ’Cause it sure feels that way.” He rubbed his belly. “I couldn’t eat another mouthful, honest.”
She leaned against him, just coming up to his shoulder. Tommy got his height from Daddy but was under no illusions. In spite of her diminutive size, Momma ruled the roost.
“What you lookin’ at, baby?” The softly spoken words felt warm and cozy.
“There’s a whole lotta history on this tree, isn’t there?” He gazed up at the angel perched on top, its wings looking sad and a little tired, its painted features faded. “How old is that angel?”
Momma turned her face up toward the tip of the tree and smiled, the skin creasing around her eyes. “That angel came from your granddaddy’s family, so I guess it’s gettin’ on nearly fifty years old now. They gave it to him when I was born.” She pointed to a little wooden rocking horse. “An’ your grandma got that for your first Christmas.”
Tommy pointed to a little glass teddy bear, its arm missing. He knew the story behind it, but he loved asking about it, if only to get his Daddy’s reaction. “Why’d you still put that bear on the tree? Ain’t it time to retire him? He must’ve earned his disability pension by now.” He grinned in anticipation.
“That bear will always have a place on any tree in my house,” Momma declared, eyes flashing, “as a permanent reminder not to let your Daddy have anything to do with wiring Christmas tree lights.”
“For goodness’ sake, Charlene, you still goin’ on ’bout that?” Daddy lowered his paper and shook his head. “Anyone would think I’d burned the house down. It was just a little fire.” He glared at her. “An’ it was fifteen years ago.” He disappeared behind the paper, but Tommy could hear him muttering something about, “Make one little mistake an’ they never let you forget it, but mention some of her cookin’ disasters an’ suddenly it’s World War Three around here.”
Tommy tried to hide his smirk, but Momma caught him and whacked him on the arm.
