by t. h. snyder
Family . . . that’s what Jenn is slowly creating here. She has Christian, who thinks the world of her and I’m sure in no time at all they’ll take their relationship to the next level. He has Etty and with Etty comes the rest of her gang . . . or crew.
That’s a group of people I don’t know if I’ll ever understand. I only met a couple of them for a few minutes at the tattoo place, but they all seem like they get along pretty well. Seeing Steve and Ashley again was kinda weird, but it’s not really my place to say anything. Hell, if those two found their way back to each other then I guess I can believe that the universe knows how to pull people back into one another’s lives.
I don’t know that I’ll ever find another man that makes me feel the way Brody did. I honestly thought we’d have forever, he was my one and only. But then again Jenn thought Steve was hers. Is it possible to have more than one true love? Am I even willing to find out if there is another man out there that could take Brody’s place in my heart? Just the thought of it hurts . . . I don’t know if it’s even possible.
Chapter 6
“Etty!” Dault’s voice shouts causing me to jump.
Looking in his direction, I continue to chew on my thumbnail while pacing between his room and the office.
“Baby, you need to calm down before you give yourself an ulcer,” he responds walking up behind me and wrapping me in his arms.
“Ugh, you know me better than that. I’m a worrywart and right now, I hate that there’s nothing I can do to help Cliff. You do realize he’s a hot mess, right?” I ask, annoyance pulling from my tone.
“You can’t fix the world, Etty,” he responds looking at me as if I’m trying to fit into Mother Teresa’s shoes.
Throwing my arms up in the air, I step out of his embrace.
“Just . . . ugh . . . never mind,” I mumble, stepping back into the office and plopping down onto the chair.
“Etty . . . don’t—”
“Dault, your next client is here,” Jo’s voice calls out.
Resting my head in my hands, I try to think how I can make him understand my concern. Cliff is one of our closest friends. He’s like family, for Christ’s sake, but Dault just doesn’t get it and I’m not sure if that’s more infuriating or the fact that there are no answers to why the explosion happened.
“Hey, girl.” Jo’s sweet voice whispers into the office.
Looking up, I give her a half smile,
“Hey.”
“I kinda overheard, actually I think we all did. You need to take a breather. We all know this is bothering you and to be honest it’s weighing on us all. We’re worried about Cliff and the only thing we can do is sit back and wait. It sucks. I get it, but don’t beat yourself up or get angry with Dault if he’s not broadcasting his feelings about the whole situation to the world. You know him, I know him . . . he’s not one to show his emotions like you and me.”
Fuck a duck, she’s right.
“I know. Maybe I’m just a little more emotional today or something. I need a drink. In fact I could really use a drink. After the past few days I think we could all use a drink.”
“Yes! I think the crew deserves a night out. You in?” she asks, her eyes filled with excitement.
“Umm, yeah. I’ll let Dault know once he’s finished with this last piece. After that we’ll clean up and head over.”
“Sweet, girlfriend. I’ll let Linc and the others know. Yes, I’m so excited. We all need a night to kick our feet up and unwind with a few beverages.”
With that, she walks out of the office. She is one hundred percent right, we do need this. Tonight I’ll free my mind of everything that’s been going on and we’ll all relax and have a good time . . . we always have a good time when we’re all together.
Chapter 7
I’ve spent most of the day traipsing around town—on my day off no less—only to come back empty handed. After running over the scene a million times and visiting the police station, I’m still at a loss.
How do these people expect me to sit back and keep calm knowing someone tried to blow me and my car up?
It’s fucking bullshit!
Anger raged inside of me and it took all the willpower I could muster to not punch the fucking prick behind the desk square in his jaw. Casually sitting there, all calm and cool, made the anxiety stir within my chest. How would he feel if the roles were reversed? If he was the one that almost died? If his family’s lives were put at risk? Guaranteed he’d be pulling every man, woman and child to his side trying to uncover the facts.
I’m livid and a part of me destroyed. I may be a quiet man, only wanting to be in the spotlight when it serves the best for others, but right now, I need to be the man in charge. I have to let my voice be heard, otherwise, I’m afraid something else may happen. I can’t let that happen. I’m exhausted and absolutely miserable that I’m heading home with no answers. I get that this is a private investigation and all, but come on, this is my fucking life.
Stepping into my apartment, I throw my keys onto the table and plop down on my oversized recliner. Taking in a deep breath, I’m frazzled as I tear off my ball cap and run my fingers through my hair.
There’s no doubt in my mind someone is behind this. This wasn’t just a random act of violence, no way in hell. I’ve worked on that street for far too many years and nothing like this has ever happened. Criminal activity isn’t something we’ve ever had to worry about surrounding Cursed Magic. Someone is behind the explosion and I’ll be damned if I just sit back and watch as they try to hurt me and the ones I care about.
Frustration builds up my spine, I need answers, and I want them now. A vibrating sensation pulls my focus back to the moment as I dig my hand into my back pocket. Linc’s name flashes across the screen as I hit the green accept button.
“Hey, man, what’s up?” I ask leaning my elbow forward onto my knee.
“Hey, you still up for heading over to Duke’s with us tonight?”
Shit, I totally forgot about that. Pulling the phone from my ear, I check the time on my phone. Putting it back to my ear, I release a long drawn out sigh.
“Sorry, bro, I completely lost track of the day and just got home. I don’t think I’m up for the bar scene tonight.”
“Come on, Cliff, it’s been a mess of a week for us and we deserve to chill out for a night. We’re about to close up the shop and we all could use a few beers to unwind. Besides, we never really got to celebrate our grand reopening in style. I know the crew and the girls will be pissed if you don’t show.”
“Don’t guilt trip me, Linc, I’m really not in the mood.”
“Dude, chill the fuck out. I’m asking you to come out for a few beers, not sign your life over to me. Pull on your big girl panties and get your lazy ass down to Duke’s. We’ll meet you there in an hour,” he says before disconnecting the call.
Looking down at my phone, I stare at the home screen. I’ll show him big girl panties . . . stupid motherfucker hung up on me. Going out really isn’t the plans I had in mind for tonight. I’d much rather take a hot shower and call it a night. Yeah, the guys and girls may get pissed off, but they haven’t a clue what I’ve been doing all day long.
Setting my phone down on the coffee table, I rest my head in my hands. So much adrenaline is filtering through my system. I have no control over what has happened and it’s driving me insane. It still unsettles me that I came home without a shred of information. I really need to find a way to break through and find something that will lead me to whoever did this. I may be over thinking every possible scenario, but my gut is telling me it has to be Raphael. That worthless piece of shit put a death wish on me the moment I started working for the Sabatino family. I was just doing my fucking job and doing it rather well. The moment I was brought into that business I followed the rules and did the best I could. I promised Tim I would get him out of the hell he created and I exceeded my word. Even when he was clear of his debts and took off running, I stayed and worked my ass off.
It was all I knew and shit, I was damn good at selling drugs. It’s not my problem if Raphael couldn’t keep up with his end of the business.
Aggravation sets in as I punch my fist down onto the coffee table. Watching as the wood begins to splinter, I lift my fist and see that my knuckles are torn and starting to bleed.
Son of a bitch.
If I uncover it was him, no when I find out he is behind this . . . the death wish roles will be reversed. The smallest piece of evidence and I’m on him, no questions asked and no regrets. He’ll pay dearly for putting the life of my friends in jeopardy. I may have been hiding behind a mask for the past few years, but I’m willing to toss it aside if it means keeping the people I care about most safe and out of harm’s way.
With determination boiling in my blood, I stand from the chair and move through the living room toward the kitchen. Grabbing a paper towel, I turn on the water and dampen the thin sheet under running water before wrapping it around my hand . . . I need a drink.
Reaching under the cabinet, I pull out a bottle of jack. Drugs were my poison of choice, my addiction that I’ve been able to overcome . . . but this right here is exactly what I need to take off the edge. Drinking goes against everything my sponsor would suggest, but I’ve got this. Alcohol was never my problem and I’ve never let it take over me. I’m probably the worst recovering addict in the books, but as long as I remember how to control my temptations I’ll be fine . . . at least I hope I’ll be fine.
Placing the bottle down onto the counter top, I rest my palms onto the cool surface and stare at the amber liquor within the bottle. I know it’s wrong of me wanting to replace my anger with a substance, but I can do this . . . I have control over my mind. As I push off the counter, I grab the bottle and unscrew the cap. Resting the bottle against my lips, I hesitate for a moment before tipping my head back and swallowing the warm liquor as it coats my throat. The feel of the fire as it flows past my lips and across my tongue soothes me. The tension building within my muscles slowly dissipates and I can feel myself beginning to relax. As I set the bottle back down, I wipe my lips with the back of my hand and head through my apartment to the bathroom. It’s already ten thirty and if I’m gonna meet the crew at Duke’s I need to get my ass in gear.
Walking down the block to Duke’s I’m hit with a cool burst of fresh air. As I take in a deep breath, I remember why I’m here. So much has changed in my twenty-eight years in this world. I’ve been put through hell and back, overcome some insanely difficult situations, and found that there really is life after death.
As messed up as things have been the past week, I stop short of the door leading into Duke’s to take a moment to appreciate all that I have. The men and women of Cursed Magic are my friends, family, and closest confidants. There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for them, to make them happy and keep them safe. It may not be the right time to come clean about my past, but in order for them to understand me—the real me—I have to share my deepest, darkest secrets.
As I open the tall wooden door, I spot the guys immediately and a feeling of security rushes through my body. Walking in their direction, my eyes scan the smiles on all of their faces. My three best friends and the women who have helped to make them whole. As I watch from a far, I can see the love and connection filtering around the table. Each of us has something from the past that has torn us apart in one way or another, but with the strength and support of the crew, we’ve made it to this point alive.
I watch as Linc wraps his arm around Jo and pulls her in close to whisper something in her ear. She immediately responds with a loud giggle, running her hand along the side of his face. Dault has Etty sitting in his lap with arms wrapped tightly around her waist and his chin leaning up onto her shoulder. As for Steve and Ash, they are staring intently into one another’s eyes speaking a language only they can understand.
My chest hurts as I run my fingers through my hair. I’ve been missing something. I love seeing the guys happy and the women that make it all possible. But this pain I’m feeling is the one thing in my life that I’ve never had . . . the love of a woman. My life has been too much of a disaster to consider making a woman a part of it. Sure, I’ve had my fair share of the playboy scene and up until this exact moment, I’ve been fine living alone. Seeing how my best friends adore and cherish their women makes me realize that I doubt I’ll ever have that. I’m not the type to settle down and give all of myself to one person. As much as I think I may want it, I know it’ll never happen.
“Hey, Cliff, get your ass over here,” Steve’s voice yells over the noise of the other patrons.
Making eye contact, I nod and remove any prior thoughts from my mind as I continue walking in their direction. Even if I’m not content with the decisions I’ve made in my life, I’m still more than happy for all of them. Tonight we will celebrate as a crew the launch and success of our shop and tomorrow I’ll worry about what I need to do to make sure nothing and no one comes between me and my family.
Chapter 8
Having one too many glasses of wine at dinner, I slowly stumble down the sidewalk with my arm wrapped through my sister’s. I can hear Christian’s footsteps as he follows closely behind, watching carefully that neither of us trips and falls in our four-inch heels.
Watching the two of them interact over the course of the night, brought pure joy to me. I’m so grateful that she’s finally found someone who she can be happy with. I know their relationship is still new and all, but nonetheless I can see that they genuinely care about one another. He pays close attention to every detail. The way they move around one another, there’s a comfort level there that I remember once having. She’s happy and that makes me happy. I want her to have the best in life, she deserves that much. We’ve both gone through a hell of a lot in the relationship department and regardless of anything that’s happened in the past, I want her to find someone that will love and support her.
As we approach the bar, I see the lights and hear the music streaming from within. Jenn and I begin to sway from the abundance of alcohol we’ve consumed and it seems as if just about anything will pull us into a fit of laughter.
“You sure you two wanna still go, I can take you home to wear off this buzz you’ve got going on.”
“Sounds like our designated driver is a bit moody,” I attempt to whisper to my sister.
“I heard that.”
Jenn and I both burst into a fit of giggles and can’t help but turn to see his blank expression. With his arms crossed against his chest, he returns a glare toward us before his lips turn up into a wide grin. Stopping in our tracks, we fully spin to face him. As I take a step forward, my heel turns out from beneath me as both my hands grab onto Christian’s arms catching myself before I fall to the ground.
“Whoa there, Kris,” he mutters while attempting to help me regain my composure.
With a serious look on my face, I stand tall and run my hands down the length of my skirt.
“I’m just fine, thank you very much, and no, I do not want to go back to Jenn’s place. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time. Third wheel or not I’m having a blast so slow your roll and let me enjoy my heavenly buzz.”
His eyes meet mine and I can see a look of sympathy and understanding. Jenn continues to giggle between our exchanges while pulling at my arm to follow her. With no words said Christian gestures for me to continue as we walk toward the front door of the bar.
“I really am having a great time tonight, Jenn, thank you for making me come out. I needed this more than I realized.”
She smiles back at me and brushes a strand of hair away from my face.
“You’re beautiful, Kris, and deserve all the happiness this world can offer to you. I’m not saying everyday will be rainbows and butterflies, just enjoy the moments that make you happy.
“I’m going to try my very best to do just that,” I reply with a smile.
Christian clears his throat and we both look to him.
“Y
ou ladies ready to take this party onto the next stop?” he asks with his hand on the knob of the tall wooden door.
“Yup, I’m ready, let’s do this,” I respond ducking under his arm and moving through the now open door.
I’m immediately hit with the smell of stale beer and the loud sounds of the other patrons. This place is slamming. Stepping to the side, I wrap my arms around my waist and wait for Christian and Jenn to follow in behind me. Suddenly my buzz starts to fade as I scan the people within the large space. I know not one person here. I’m a stranger and feeling kind of out of place.
An arm wraps itself around my shoulder and I turn to see Christian smiling down at me. I look next to him to see Jenn looking around the bar room. When she looks my way her face is not set in a smile, instead she looks white as a ghost and worried.
What just happened . . . what’s wrong?
“Hey, Christian, can you excuse us I need to use the ladies room. Umm . . . Jenn, can you come with me?” I ask sliding out from under his arm and reaching for my sister’s hand.
I allow her to guide me toward the restroom, my eyes searching for anything that would have caused her to be so worried.
When we reach the restroom, I pull her into the dimly lit space with me and make sure no one else is inside. Once the coast is clear, I look to her for reassurance that she is in fact okay.
“Jenn, what’s wrong? You were happy, giddy, and excited seconds before we walked through the front door. What happened?”
She starts to shake her head before turning to face the mirror. I watch as she looks back at her reflection, turning on the faucet and placing her hands beneath the water.
I take a step forward placing my hand on her shoulder. She jumps at my touch and turns to face me.
