by t. h. snyder
The rage boiling through my veins isn’t something I’m used to. I’m angry. No, I’m fucking livid right now. How dare he assume I’m in this to get laid? That’s not the case with Kris, not it at all and it’s pissing me the fuck off that he’s passing judgment on me. That may have been the man I was, the man I always wanted people to think I was . . . but with her, it’s different. She means more to me than that and she sure as hell deserves more than the man I used to be.
“Cliff?”
My attention is pulled from the staring contest I’ve formed with Christian as I hear her walking down the hallway. Every nerve ending in my body is on fire as I watch her move closer to where I stand. My mouth goes dry, my palms begin to sweat, and my heart starts to beat a rhythm I never knew was possible. Her beauty and finesse take my breath away. No matter how badly I want to remain detached, seeing her right now I don’t know if I can keep myself from wanting her mind and soul as my own.
What in the fuck is she doing to me?
“Ha ha, that was one hundred percent the response I wanted to hear and see from you,” he says moving to stand from the chair and next to me. “She’s a smart woman and from what I gather you’re a good man who’s been dealt a shitty hand. Just be good to her, deal?” He responds low enough so only I can hear.
“Yeah, man, deal,” I respond with a nod before walking closer toward Kris.
“Hi. You look beautiful,” I remark before leaning in to kiss the top of her head as my entire body freezes.
“Hi,” she says bashfully, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink.
Shocked by my own gesture of affection, I take a step back and run my fingers through my hair. My hand is shaking; literally, my entire body is shaking with nervous energy. I can’t take my eyes from hers. I’m lost in her, every damn thing about her. I don’t know what is happening right now. My world has frozen, my feet glued firmly down onto the wooden floor, and my heart . . . my heart feels like it is being sucked through the tips of my hair. She’s cast a spell on my cursed soul and in this exact moment, I never want to lose the feeling that is taking over my mind, spirit, and body.
“Well, you two have fun, everything is set up in the kitchen and ready to go,” Jenn squeals in delight breaking me out of my trance. “If you need anything just call, we will be out and then heading back to Christian’s place.”
“Jenn, we are two grown adults not teenagers. I think we will be able to manage,” Kris responds with a hint of embarrassment in her voice.
Watching as she steps in toward Kris, the love I see exchanged between the two sisters pulls at my cold, black heart. I can’t help the way I’m beginning to feel. It’s as if being around her is slowly chipping away at everything I never thought I wanted. It’s a foreign feeling, but something I’m starting to think I want in my life . . . someone I desperately need for me to be the man I know I can.
As Jenn makes her way toward the door, she pauses for a moment by my side. Resting her hand onto my forearm, she looks into my eyes taking me by surprise. It’s not something anyone ever does. No words are exchanged, but I can hear the thoughts running through her mind. Responding with a smile, I rest my hand onto hers with a gentle squeeze. I can’t promise I’ll be the best man for her sister, but I can do everything in my power to make her happy when we are together.
With a wink, she smiles back to me before turning and walking out the door with Christian in tow. As soon as the door closes, silence fills the room. My stomach begins to churn as the nervous energy kicks back into high gear. I don’t know why I’m feeling the way I am, it’s not the first time I’ve been alone with a woman . . . instead it’s the first time I’ve been alone with a woman I’m developing feelings for and it scares the living shit out of me.
No matter what is going on, what is happening to me feels better than I’ve felt in . . . forever. Tonight is meant to be relaxing and time away for me to forget about the mess of the life that has been surrounding me. I need a mental retreat and a night with Kris, dinner and a movie may in fact do the trick. Glancing back to Kris, I sense that she feels a bit uneasy as well. I’m not sure if she is experiencing the same things I am, maybe everything between us is one sided. I know she’s been through a lot. Christian was right when he said she’s been through a horrific loss. I can’t help but want to take that pain away from her. I want to make her feel exactly as she deserves to be: adored, cherished, and loved. I just hope I’m enough to make all of that possible for her.
Chapter 23
Tonight may have been the most perfect night of my entire life . . . and apparently, I’ve completely turned into a chick.
Mental note: never let the guys know I’ve caved into the arms of a woman.
For hours, we talked, laughed, and learned more about one another. There wasn’t a thing I felt I couldn’t tell her. My entire life I’ve been afraid to share my feelings, my emotions, and my struggles with someone. With Kris, it all came out like I was sitting down with my long lost best friend. Every detail of what I’ve gone through came out so seamlessly and regardless of the topic, she intently listened. Not once did she cringe, never did she pass judgment. Instead she shared her own stories and hidden fears. Together we were able to open up more so than we did that afternoon in the hospital.
After dinner, we cleaned up the food and dishes like it was an everyday chore. We were so in sync with each other it was hard to tell where one of us started and the other ended in our movements. Deciding to watch a movie, she made herself comfortable sliding in next to me on the couch. There was no hesitation, her body fit into mine as if she were a missing puzzle piece finding its match. I wanted to pay attention to the TV screen, but I couldn’t. My eyes were captivated on one thing and one thing only . . . her. I loved the way her expression would change as the plot thickened. I loved how she jumped when the unexpected would capture her attention. I loved the way she clung to me when she thought the worst was going to happen.
Once the movie ended, we sat and talked more until her eyes became so heavy she could barely keep them open. Tucking her head to my chest, I watched as she slowly fell asleep stroking her hair and placing kisses onto the top of her head. A few times, I could see a smile form across her face, creating warm feeling within my stomach. I had to refrain from leaning down to kiss her soft lips. It took everything in me. I wanted to kiss her more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life.
Glancing to the clock on the wall, I continued to watch the minutes pass by as her breathing slowed down into a perfect rhythm. Again, I didn’t want to leave but I also knew I couldn’t stay with her fast asleep on the couch. Lifting her from my side, I turned off the TV, shut down the lights, and carried her to her room. As I laid her down onto the mattress, she started to wake.
“Don’t go,” she pleaded raising her arms for me to lie down with her.
As much as knew I shouldn’t stay, I couldn’t resist the look on her face. Lifting the comforter and sheets from the bed, I slide underneath pulling her body in next to mine. I could feel her warm breath against the side of my face, my heart racing with anticipation. Not willing to waste another second, I gently caressed the side of her face as her lips met mine. An overwhelming surge of passion rushed through my body. Running my fingers through her hair, she deepened the kiss allowing her tongue to dance and stroke my own. A moan escaped her as I lifted her body down on top of mine. I need to feel her, bring her closer to touching every inch of me. The way she felt as her lips consumed mine, her tongue tangled with mine and her warmth covering my body . . . it was more than I could have ever imagined. Lifting her lips from me, we parted breathlessly. In the dimly lit room I watched as she sat up and lifted her shirt overtop of her head, the silhouette of her perfect body on display before my eyes. I wanted to take her, flip her onto her back, and sink myself into her, but that wasn’t how this was supposed to happen. I didn’t want to rush a moment that I spent with Kris. With her, everything was supposed to be perfect.
“Kri
s . . .”
“Shh, I know . . . not now. But I do want you to stay and hold me. Will you stay with me tonight?”
There was no way I could say no, even if a kiss was all we shared tonight everything about this night showed me one thing. I was falling hard and fast for this woman and I wasn’t going to take anything for granted.
Laying here as she’s fallen fast asleep, I gently run my fingertips up and down her bare back. I don’t want to fall asleep, I don’t want to miss out on a second of the time I have to spend with her.
She is everything I never thought I wanted and the one woman who I now realize will make me whole. She is going to be my forever, even if it’s the last thing I do.
The sound of my cell phone buzzing pulls me from my comfortable sleep. Opening my eyes, dark hair falls along the side of my arm. A smile creeps across my face with the memories from last night.
For a moment, I don’t want to move, I want to watch the peacefulness of her sleeping on my chest. Every inch of her is exquisite, she is more than I could ever want in a woman and last night she showed me a side to her that she’s been afraid to unveil. I appreciate her mind, her heart, and her soul. I’m not certain what the future holds for her, for me or for anyone, but I do know that as long as she’s willing to accept me for my past, I will do whatever I can to help her overcome the pain of hers.
Carefully reaching over top of her, I grab my cell phone from the nightstand. My heart stops when I see twenty-seven missed calls and sixteen missed text messages.
What in the hell?
Sliding my finger across the screen, I read through the first few messages.
Linc – Need to talk, get back to me ASAP
Steve – Dude, pick up.
Linc – ANSWER YOUR PHONE
Steve – Cliff we need you. On our way to Jenn’s. Better hope we get there before Dault does.
Uncertainty plagues my thoughts. I can’t determine what is happening or what the guys are referring to. Rather than dwell on the unknown I decide to get out of bed and see what’s going on.
Sliding away from Kris, I quietly head out of the bedroom and downstairs. As I approach the bottom step, the front door swings open. Jenn and Christian enter first and are followed by Linc and Steve.
The look on Jenn’s face is of pure fear and concern. I don’t know what to make of what’s going on . . . I need answers.
“Cliff, where in the fuck . . . why haven’t you . . . Jesus Christ.” Linc’s frantic tone booms through the living room.
“Dude, what’s going on,” I ask panic stemming from my voice. “I just woke—”
“Son of a bitch!” Dault’s loud roar echoes within the walls as he barrels through the front door.
Before I can gather my thoughts through the chaos, his body launches toward me as his fist collides with the side of my face.
“This is your fucking fault. I knew it. I told everyone this was a disaster waiting to happen,” he yells as he swings another punch to my jaw.
FUCK!
“Dault! Dault, get off him. Guys come on . . . seriously?” Ashley’s voice cries from where, I haven’t a clue.
Within seconds, Dault’s body is pulled away from mine, my hand flying to the pain aching in my jaw.
“Can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?” I grit out.
Shit, I think he broke my jaw.
“They took her, your thug friends took Etty,” Dault shouts as he takes a step toward me once again.
“What?” I respond as my eyes bulge from their sockets. “What friends are you talking about? Have you lost your fucking mind, Daulton?” I yell back into his face.
“You two need to calm down. There’s nothing we can do with the two of you screaming at each other,” Steve says moving to stand between the two of us.
“Listen, Cliff. Let me explain what’s going on. Steve, take Dault outside to cool down . . . if that’s even possible right now,” Jenn says gesturing for the Christian and the guys to leave the room.
“Ugh, this shit is a mess. I don’t know what happened or what I’m supposed to do. She is the glue that holds us together,” Ashley cries out.
Pulling her into my arms, I try to soothe her sobs as I see Jo come into the house.
“Sorry I’m late, I had to meet the police at the shop,” Jo says.
“Can someone please tell me what happened? I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on,” I remark continuing to calm Ashley as the tears fall from her eyes.
“Cliff, Jenn, what the heck is everyone doing here,” Kris’s voice chimes in from the stairs.
And just like that, my world begins to spin. My mind is now in overload and my fight for survival is kicking into overdrive. I’m in panic mode along with everyone else and I feel like I’m about to fly off the handle. I need to calm the rage of insecurity that’s coursing through me. My adrenaline levels are through the roof and I need . . . no, I have to know what is going on. Everything is happening so fast and I still don’t understand what is going on. I want answers, yet I’m stuck in here trying to fix . . . what I don’t know. Looking around the room, I feel like I’m in the midst of a train wreck and I can’t figure out which victim to help first. Ashley needs to breathe and calm down before she goes into a full blown panic attack, Jo looks as though she’s about to pass out, Kris is standing in the middle of the stairs like a deer stuck in the headlights and one of my best friends wants to beat the shit out of me . . . why, I haven’t a fucking clue. If this isn’t hitting rock bottom, I don’t know what is.
“Cliff, Cliff . . . focus on me,” Jenn’s nurturing voice brings me back to reality.
Looking around the room, I watch as all the ladies focus on her. Wanting to know exactly what’s taken place up to this point, I have no choice. I need to follow suit and listen to what Jenn has to say.
“The authorities have already been called but there isn’t much of anything they’ll do since Etty hasn’t been gone more than twenty-four hours. The last we heard from her, she was going to meet Christian and me for a drink last night. She never showed and she hasn’t answered any of our calls or text messages. We assumed she must have fallen asleep so we didn’t think anything of it until Dault reached out to us this morning. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry we didn’t act sooner.”
Taking a step away from Ashley, my body slides down the wall slumped onto the wooden floor.
Who . . . why . . . where?
I knew things weren’t finished, those guys may have been a part of everything, but they weren’t the ringleaders. There’s more, someone with power and control.
Chapter 24
My eyes start to drift shut again. I’m so sleepy. I’m trying to fight off whatever it is I was given, but it’s so hard. I can’t keep my eyes open long enough to figure this out. Attempting to focus on what happened, my mind is still foggy. The last thing I remember is walking out of the shop and someone coming up from behind me and pushing me into a van. Then I woke up here.
It’s cold, dark and the smell of piss is so overwhelming. I’m not quite sure how long I’ve been here, but by the light streaming in, I can only imagine it must be daytime again.
I’ve lost all track of time. I haven’t been able to keep my eyes open much since they brought me here, wherever the hell it is that I am. Scanning the dimly lit room, there’s absolutely nothing in here but me. I can’t tell if I’m in a cell, an empty hotel room, or an office of some sort. The walls are bare, the floor nothing but cold concrete and a boarded up window on the other side of the room.
My stomach begins to growl, I’m so hungry. I need food, something in my stomach or else I’m going to be sick . . . maybe if I ask to eat or go to the bathroom I’ll be able to look around and see where I am.
Can I break out, escape and find my way home . . . I doubt it.
My head hurts so badly, the rhythm pounding in my skull is becoming almost unbearable. I can’t think. Everything is an absolute blur. I’ve tried to scream for help, but no
one is coming . . . what’s the point?
I miss Dault, I want to go home.
The strong woman I always try to be is beginning to crack. Tears start to roll down my cheeks, uncontrollable sobs taking over as my body start to tremble. Who am I kidding? I’m scared and I don’t know what is going to happen to me.
“Why am I here? Why did you take me? Why are you doing this to us?” I howl out.
“Shut up,” a voice sounds from outside the door. “I swear to God, if she doesn’t stop I’m going to kill her.”
Attempting to swallow back my tears, my hand covers my mouth to stifle the sound of my cries.
“You know as well as I do that you can’t touch a hair on her head until he comes looking for her. We need him, which means we need her. Calm your tits and just deal with the whining bitch,” another man’s voice responds.
“I swear to God, we better get paid. I didn’t sign up to be a babysitter. This is bullshit, fucking bullshit.”
“I don’t want to be here anymore than you do, but if Tim says we’ll get paid we will. Now shut up and deal with it.”
Taking a few deep breaths, I attempt to calm the fear of uncertainty that is taking over. I don’t know whether or not my life is in jeopardy. I don’t know if I’ll make it out alive. All I do know is that I have to keep calm and hope . . . pray I make it home to my family.
Everyone is running around like chickens with their heads cut off and there’s nothing I can do.
I’m a fixer, I hate seeing others struggling over something I can’t control. I want to take away their pain and make everything go back to normal, but I can’t.
I can’t say that I blame them. Under the circumstances, I would be a mess too. I just wish there was more that I could be doing.
Walking into the kitchen, both Jenn and Christian are sitting at the table staring off into space. As they see me approach, they turn and look in my direction.
“Have you heard anything?” I ask.
