My heart starts beating again as I hear the words leave her mouth. “I love you, and thank you for being everything I’ve needed throughout this crazy process. We’ll get you moved in as soon as we can. I don’t want to spend a night without you.”
She squeals as I pick her up, putting her legs around my waist.
Here in this pool, with the woman I love hanging onto me, is the happiest I’ve been in months. With everything I have, I know I’m going to do whatever it takes to keep making this happen.
Blaze
“You sure this isn’t too much?” I ask as I look around at the boxes that have invaded Trevor’s home.
I’m still unsure what I’m going to do with my apartment. There are certain furniture pieces I have that I love, and I don’t necessarily want to part with. I’ll figure it out as I have more time, but everything that matters to me in the world is here with me right now.
“Not at all, we’ll figure out where to put everything,” he pulls me into a hug, wrapping his arm around my neck. “The most important thing is you’re here with me, and you’ll be here with me for the foreseeable future.”
I grin up at him, because I like the sound of that. “Thanks for helping me,” I throw Ace a fifth of Jim Beam, his payment for helping me move today. “I think I remember this is your favorite.”
He grabs the bottle out of the air and grins at me. “It is. I’ll have fun drinkin’ this on the lake next weekend.”
“You’re already going out to the lake?” Trevor questions, as he has a seat, pulling me down in his lap. “Little early for that, isn’t it?”
Ace rolls his eyes. “This is Alabama, it’s eighty in February. It’s never too early for the lake.”
I have to laugh because he’s right, in our part of the state, it’s always hot. “Either way, thanks for helping today.”
“Yeah,” Trevor holds out his hand for his friend to shake. “I appreciate you doing the heavy lifting.”
“I’m sure you’re healed up nicely, but there’s no sense in testing it out. I was happy to help,” he grabs his wallet. “But if you don’t need me anymore, I’m out. I got shit to do tonight.”
“Thank you again,” I get up off Trevor’s lap and hug the man who saw me at my worst. Ace was the only person who saw me hit my knees that day on the road as I realized it was Trevor in the wreckage. We’ve never spoken about it, but as he hugs me, he offers me a little squeeze.
“Cherish it, every day,” he whispers.
“I will,” I whisper back.
And like that, we’ve said all we’re going to. I go back to Trevor’s lap, and the world keeps spinning.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Blaze
I’m nervous as Logan lets me out at the front of the Medical Arts Building in Laurel Springs. I check my watch to make sure I’m on time and see that I have about five minutes to spare. Today’s the day Trevor has to do his psych evaluation and they’ve asked me to be there. Part of me is extremely nervous. I don’t know what he remembers, if he remembers anything. Another part of me wonders what else might get brought up in this session. Counselors in our professions are very quick to tell when something is off, and the fact I haven’t come clean with Trevor yet rubs me the wrong way. I’m going to have to make it a point to sit down and talk to him.
I enter the building and hit the elevator for the fifth floor. My hands shake as I wait for the doors to open. This isn’t my evaluation and I have to wonder why I’m so damn nervous. Exiting the elevator, I walk into the lobby, spotting Trevor immediately. He’s sitting in the back, filling out paperwork. There are two women sitting not far from him, eyeing him up and down as he reads the papers he’s signing.
God he looks hot as his eyebrows come together, studying the words he’s reading before he signs his name with a flourish. His hands look huge as they hold the small pen. I know exactly what those hands can do, and they can play my body like a damn violin.
“Hey,” I whisper as I make my way over to him. “I hope I’m not late.”
He smiles up at me, standing to give me a kiss in greeting. I can’t help it, I turn to those women who had been checking him out and give them a huge smile. They turn their noses up at me and turn around in their seats. That’s right ladies, he’s mine. “Nope, you’re right on time. Let me just take these papers to the desk, and they should be calling us back shortly.”
I stand where he leaves me, dumbfounded as I watch him walk to the front desk. The pants he wears today hug his ass perfectly and I can’t help but lick my lips as I watch him. “C’mon babe,” he motions to me, and I have to shake my head to clear my thoughts.
He holds his hand out, grasping mine as we head to the back, where the offices are. We’re pointed to a room where there’s a couch and a couple of chairs. They shut the door and tell us the doctor will be in soon.
“Which doctor are you seeing?” I ask as I have a seat next to him, crossing my legs and getting as comfortable as possible.
“Doctor Cole,” he glances at his piece of paper. “I’ve heard of her before. Some of the other guys in the department have seen her.”
The last words leave his mouth when the door opens and in walks a middle-age woman who could pass for early thirties. I hope I look as good as her when I get that old.
“Trevor?” she glances at him, holding her hand for him to shake.
“Yes ma’am, and this is my girlfriend, Blaze,” he introduces me.
Damn his manners are sexy. He’s such a good southern boy.
“The hair, right?” she grins at me, reaching out to shake my hand as well.
I grin back. “It’s always a good conversation starter.”
We get through the getting to know you portion of the sit down, where we verify what Trevor went through and why we’re there. Finally Doc Cole starts asking her questions.
“What do you remember about the wreck, Trevor?”
He shakes his head. “Absolutely nothing. I still don’t even remember Brooks coming over the hill. I don’t know at what point I saw him or even if I did. The only thing I can remember before I woke up two days later was a moment in the ER when they were putting a tube in my chest. I came to and asked them for Blaze. The next thing I know, I’m waking up in the hospital and Blaze is asleep in my room. Nothing between me leaving The Café after talking with Whitney that morning and listening to hard rock music until the ER and me waking up remains. I can’t tell you anything.”
I’ve often wondered if he’s telling the truth when he says those words. Three times since the accident I’ve slipped into conversations ways to find out if he’s been fucked up by what happened to him, but every time he says he doesn’t remember anything. Maybe it’s time to believe him.
“Is there anything you’re having issues with you’d like to talk about? We have an hour and if you have no thoughts about the incident that put you here, maybe you’d like to talk about something else? Are you angry with Brooks Strather?”
“I wouldn’t say so much angry as hopeful the system works and makes him pay for what he did. He’s a kid who’s never had to face consequences, and until the system makes him do so, nothing I do is going to change that. I’m angry I’ve been laid up all this time, had to take a leave from my job, and had to worry my family, but I’m also thankful.”
I think I know where this is going so I reach over and grab his hand. I want to get over this part of our lives too, and if we need to do it here, in front of a shrink, we will.
“Why are you thankful?”
He glances over at me. “The two of us weren’t talking to each other at the time of the accident. We’d broken up and hadn’t spoken in months.”
“Did she respond to the call?” she asks, staring at my uniform.
“I did,” I clear my throat. “It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and if either one of us has had some sleepless nights about this incident, it’s been me. I’m good now though, I haven’t had a nightmare since a couple of nights after he
came home. I think it was just the shock of everything, to be completely honest with you.”
“Why had the two of you stopped talking to one another?”
Immediately I kind of feel like we’ve gone from work territory to personal territory, but if this helps us get where we need to be, I’ll do it.
“She was held at gunpoint by a mentally unstable man and my unit responded. I asked her to quit her job because I thought it was too dangerous, she refused and we said some very hurtful things to one another.”
“But the accident helped all that?” She makes some notes in her notebook.
“It made us realize what was important,” I answer for the both of us.
She continues writing, nodding, before she stops and gazes at first me, then him. “You realized what was important, but have you yet talked about the situation?”
We both swallow loudly. “We haven’t,” my tone is clipped. “We’ve been too busy getting him well enough to return to work.”
“Well, here’s my recommendation that he go back,” she hands Trevor a piece of paper. “And then off the record, my recommendation to the two of you? Sooner, rather than later, you need to talk about what happened. The type of job you’re in, it’s a ticking time bomb for someone else to put either of you in harm’s way. Until you start being honest with each other, no matter how much you love one another, it’s not going to automatically fix itself.”
I know what she says is true, and as the two of us get up, leaving her office, we’re somber. I don’t think either of us realizes how long it will actually be before we talk about what lead us down our dark path.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Blaze
“You’re sure you’re okay with watching her?” Whitney asks as Ryan tries to herd her out the door. “It’s Valentine’s, maybe the two of you had plans,” she tries again, looking between Trevor and me.
“Our plans are right here, with her,” I give her a reassuring grin. These two obviously want some time alone, and it looks like it’s going to be difficult to get Whitney out the door. “Stella will be fine. You two go out and have a nice night. You deserve it.”
She looks like she wants to say no and argue with all of us, but Ryan clamps a hand over her mouth.
“We totally appreciate the two of you forfeiting your Valentine’s Day so we can go out. We’ll be home no later than midnight.”
Trevor tsks from where he stands behind me. “No sir, you will have her home no later than eleven thirty. It’s a work night and she has a curfew.”
I laugh at the two of them when Ryan lifts a middle finger in Trevor’s direction. “Don’t tempt me, we’ll stay out all night.”
Whitney shakes her head behind the palm of his hand, making muffled words and gestures with her hands, eyes wide.
“Would you two stop? That way they can leave.”
Ryan ushers her out the door, throwing back a “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” before they’re gone.
“I never thought they were going to leave. They act like neither one of us have jobs where we have to be around kids,” Trevor shakes his head as he grabs a slice of the heart-shaped pizza we brought over.
He’s doing well since he’s gone back to half-days, mostly doing paperwork. I’m pretty impressed with how he’s handling everything. I know he wants to be out on calls and things like that, but he’s doing almost everything but.
“They’re new parents, give them a break,” I take a bite of the pizza he puts to my mouth. “What are they doing tonight anyway?”
He quirks an eyebrow at me. “Knowing Renegade? He probably got them room service and an empty bed for the night. Being romantic with your lady with no interruptions? That would be number one on my list if we were parents to an infant.”
“Well, hopefully he’s a little smoother than you.”
“I’m smooth like butter, baby,” he lifts his shirt up, showing his abs. “When was the last time you said no to this?” He uses his hand to indicate the entire expanse of his torso and mid-section.
I try to think back and realize he’s right. I’ve never said no to him. Truthfully there’s a problem there, I should probably make him work harder than I do, but he knows me so well. “Never.”
He leans in, giving me a kiss. “Exactly.”
We grab our paper plates and our bottles of beer to take into the living room. Stella is in her vibrating seat, paying attention to what’s playing on TV. “She’s acting so mesmerized by the shopping channel,” I laugh when she makes a noise as they show a diamond ring. “Yes honey, you tell him that’s what you want.”
Trevor tilts his head to the side. “I wouldn’t have pictured you for a diamond girl. Is that what you’d want?”
This conversation feels heavy to me, one I hadn’t planned on having with him tonight. “In so many ways I’m not the norm, but I think if this came up in a conversation, I would have to say I’m pretty traditional when it comes to things like this.”
He sets his plate down, pulling his phone out. “What are you doing?”
“Taking notes for when we decide the time’s right for us. I want to blow you away, and I’d be stupid not to give you what you want and deserve.”
This man has no idea how much he affects me, how much it means to me that he listens to what I want. I don’t even know what to say. “Quit joking around, Trev.”
“I’m one thousand percent serious. I’ve told you before this thing we’ve got going on is headed toward an altar, and I mean that. Do I think we’re ready for it now? No, but it’s heavy on my mind.”
Stella picks that moment to start crying. As a team, we work to get her bottle ready, and a piece of me melts as I watch Trevor pick her up in his arms, giving her the bottle. “You’re a natural with her.”
He shrugs. “I babysat as a teenager. Not really the coolest thing for a guy to do, but there was a family that lived about five miles from us with three kids and they couldn’t afford a daycare. I started watching them the year I turned thirteen,” he repositions her on his legs and continues giving her the bottle. “Ya know back then there wasn’t this call to arms about everyone being trained in CPR and all of that before you could watch kids. All of them were boys, so we basically spent our summers playing kickball and baseball. The youngest was two and he still took a bottle and had diapers. Not to stay I changed and fed him all the time. His brothers helped a lot, but I learned the basics and they kind of stuck with me.”
He hands her to me as she gets done with the bottle, letting me burp her as he goes and takes care of what we’ve dirtied up. “You never cease to amaze me, Trevor. I mean, I think I know everything about you, and you surprise me with something like this.”
He comes back into the living room holding a piece of chocolate cake with ice cream on it. “Our dessert,” he sets it down on the TV tray in between us. “And I hope I never stop surprising you. I love surprising you. There’s something I never told you, but when we met, I was on a dark path. I didn’t necessarily do things for the right reasons. I joined the military and the Moonshine Task Force because of Renegade. I never wanted him to move on without me, but that night I met you, I started really think about my life,” he grabs Stella from me before feeding me a piece of the cake.
It’s the best kind of cake, full of flavor with just the right amount of moisture. “What did you start to think about?”
“How to get you to go out with me. Some of the stuff I was doing, I knew you wouldn’t have anything to do with me.”
Stella grabs for his fork, but he keeps it out of her reach. “What exactly were you doing?”
Now I’m curious. It occurs to me I don’t know a ton about Trevor’s past, and while that’s okay, I’m interested now.
“Drinkin’ too much, staying out too late, seeing multiple women at once, and then not calling back the ones who would have been good for me after I got what I wanted. I went a little crazy after I came back from overseas. It’s a shock to reacclimate,” he feeds me
another piece of cake.
I speak around the food, “I imagine, and it must be difficult when not everyone comes back with you.”
I remember one of our units lost a couple of men on the last tour Trevor and Ryan had done together.
“Yeah,” he gets a faraway look in his eyes. “You wonder what they would be doing today. Would they be married to the girls they were dating? Would they be dads? Hell, one of them might have my spot on the Moonshine Task Force. There’s so many unknowns, and it’s hard to live with. At least for me it was. Renegade didn’t have the problems I had, probably because he had such a shitty childhood.”
“What changed?” I grab Stella, snuggling her close to me. The innocent scent of talcum powder and formula is one of my favorites. It grounds me in this conversation we’re having.
“I met you,” he reaches out, rubbing Stella’s back. “I met you by chance at that damn cookout Holden dragged us to so we could meet our EMT counterparts,” he rolls his eyes. “Holden still tells me how much I owe him, he probably will until the end of time. Even when we’d broken up, he would leave little notes in the squad car about how I should tell him thank you. Without him, I’d never have at least known the love of a good woman.”
I laugh as he makes a face. “Remind me to thank Holden next time I see him.”
“Oh hell no, he’ll keep at it.” He stops laughing along with me, before he reaches over and grabs my hand. “Truthfully, when I met you, things didn’t look so bleak anymore. I felt like I had a purpose. I wanted a date with you, even though it took six weeks.”
“I thought you were joking with me, I mean look at you.”
He blushes a bright red. “Babe, look at you. You’re totally outta my league.”
“Somehow we both managed to compromise our values and find one another,” I move a now sleeping Stella back into her seat. “Amazing how that works, isn’t it?”
Tank (Moonshine Task Force Book 2) Page 12
