by Ann, Becca
I chuckle. “Yeah. I know the feeling.”
“Tanner and Dani?” She smiles and winks.
“Uh huh.” I pause and nod toward a couple of Hipsters goin’ at each other across the hallway. “But they’re not as bad as that I guess.”
Hayles follows my gaze and shivers. “Gag me.”
She goes to turn the music back up, but I stop her. Hell yeah! She lets me keep my hand on hers.
All right, Brody. Just ask her out. Not a big deal.
“Hey, uh… so I was wonderin’—”
Bell rings.
Damn it.
She grins, tossing my earphone in my lap. “Tell me on the way to class.”
Can’t do it. Not on our way to the class we share with Quynn. Not in the middle of a chaotic hallway in this craphole we call high school. I mean, she’s never been asked out before. Well, I assume she’s never been asked. That’s what she said, right?
More pressure to make this good for her. She deserves that.
“Brody?”
“Huh?”
“Are you mad at me or something?”
Guess we’ve been walkin’ to class, and I haven’t said a word. Didn’t even notice.
“No.” I attempt a smirk, but it probably looks real stupid.
Her brow crinkles in that hot way it always does, and she points a finger at me. “Well, something’s bugging you. You’re a lot quieter than normal. I mean you’re usually quiet, but today you seem…”
“In a daze?” My smirk is for real this time.
She smacks her forehead. It’s so cute when she does that. “Gosh dang gorillas, I’m such an idiot.”
My eyebrow pulls upward. What is she on about now? “Because…?”
“Because I know why you’re quiet and I should’ve figured it out by now.”
Huh? Am I that transparent?
“Don’t be nervous about seeing her today. Maybe ask for some help after class. Like, totally botch it with me or something.” She giggles and it takes me a minute to catch up with her.
Right.
Quynn.
Signing.
Pointers.
I don’t want to think about all that crap—the mess I’ve made already with everythin’. And I know Quynn’ll ask why I wasn’t home on Friday when she came over.
Hayles is going to be pissed when she finds out.
Or maybe it’ll be enough to convince her I’d rather be with her than Quynn. May work in my favor.
Maybe I’ll bring it up.
“Hey.” She stops in front of me and grabs my shoulders. I flex underneath her grasp, showin’ off.
Her face goes a little pink, but she keeps her hands on me. “It’s no different than it was before, okay? Don’t be nervous. You’ve got this in the bag.”
I open my mouth to pretty much tell her everythin’, but she stops me.
“And I’ll tell you another secret.” She drops her hands and gives me a faint smile. “She looks at you the same way you look at her. She… she really likes you. She’s just waiting for the right moment.”
I’m as big a douche as my brother, because I don’t care.
I don’t care.
It’s not the right girl. A week ago, maybe, but now? Man, I just want Hayles.
“Hey,” I say as I snatch one of her hands and play with her fingers. That feels good. She’s not pullin’ back either. “I’m not nervous about Quynn. I told you, I’m not really… I’m not sure about her anymore.”
She gives me a ‘whatever’ look and pulls her hand away.
“Knock it off, Brody.”
Quynn’s wearing her same old sweater and jeans, but her hair is down today. I know this means she’s in a good mood, and it pisses me off that I know that.
And it shouldn’t make me want to brush it from her face, but it does. Ugh. Thought I was over this girl.
Hayles waves her hand in front of my face and brings me back into her view.
Whoops, should be payin’ attention. Especially to the girl I actually want.
What are we going to talk about?
She smiles and my stomach twists.
I have a question for you.
It’s going to suck askin’ her like this, but I don’t care. Maybe rejection will be better in sign language.
More questions? I believe you ran out on Saturday.
I smirk. Okay, so you’ve got some for me, then? I’m stallin’—again, but I don’t care. I like our banter. It’s so… easy.
I totally just dug myself in a hole. Now I can’t think of anything to ask you. She laughs under her breath as she swipes her bangs from her face.
You forfeit one of your questions to me, then?
Her nose scrunches as she gives me a look that’s so damn sexy, it’s hard for me not to close the distance between us. Even in front of everyone. In front of Quynn.
Man, I got it bad.
Fine. What’s your question?
I throw a quick glance at Quynn. Her eyes dart from mine and shoot to her signing partner. Her face goes bright red. Was she staring at me? ‘Listenin’ to our conversation?
Damn it. I can’t do this in front of her. She won’t get it. Hayles isn’t like other girls. Hell, she doesn’t even understand why anyone would like her. Why would Quynn?
Chickening out again. And now I got to come up with another question.
What do you want for your birthday?
Hell yeah! I came up with that pretty quick.
She taps her chin with her forefinger and looks up at the ceiling. Even this gets me goin’.
I’m screwed.
Don’t laugh?
I cross my heart and salute. She giggles.
I want a tattoo so bad!
Why the hell would I laugh at that? I smile and remove my leather wristband, showin’ her the tatt I got on my eighteenth birthday.
“Sweet!” she whispers as she grabs my wrist and traces her fingers over the ink. The soft touch sends goose bumps up my arms, and I kind of hope she notices. Maybe she’ll get the hint I’ve fallen for her.
She lets go to sign to me.
What does it mean?
Kind of knew she’d ask me that, but I don’t want to tell her here. Not with Quynn sittin’ two feet away. I wrap the leather back around my wrist.
Later?
She nods.
You figure out a question, yet? Or do I get another one?
Her eyes get wide, and she leans toward me. Yeah, she gets closer every time we talk now. That chocolate smell will be burned into my nostrils. I’m okay with that.
You have more? Gosh, Brody, didn’t realize you wanted to know so much about me.
I want to know everything about her. I don’t even care how cheesy that sounds.
You got your phone yet? I wink, and she shoves my arm.
No. Still getting it fixed.
You going to tell me what happened?
It’s like I asked her to boil puppies or something. Her face gets all twisted for a second, then she wipes it clean with a fake smile.
Nothing. Just got it wet.
She’s lyin’. Or at least not tellin’ the entire truth. Part of me is kind of happy I know this about her already, but the other part is mad she doesn’t feel like she can tell me stuff.
Stupid, I know. It’s just a phone.
You seem pissed today. Her hands sign it real fast, but I catch it. Are you sure you’re okay?
Not pissed. Nervous. Never felt it this bad before. Look at what she’s done to me!
I’m fine, Hayles. I promise.
She cocks her eyebrow and nibbles the inside of her lip, but drops it.
Okay. You going to be busy after school? Her eyes flick to Quynn, who again goes pink and looks at something that became very interesting on the ceiling. Hayles stifles a giggle. Looks like someone wants to talk to you.
Yeah, it does look that way. Probably about Friday, or more about douchebag brother. I don’t really want to deal with that right now.
Did you want to hang out again today?
She shakes her head. I was only asking to see if you were going to talk to Quynn after class.
Wasn’t planning on it.
Her face scrunches up. Why not?
‘Cause I want to be with you. Thought maybe we could hit the library again.
You’ll tell me about your tattoo? Her eyes get all excited as she waits for me to answer her.
How can I say no to that?
Yeah.
Sounds good.
Definitely sounds good.
“Brody? Could I talk to you for a minute?”
Quynn’s voice is all shaky, but she looks confident as she perches herself on top of my desk again.
Hayles smirks at me as she swings her heavy bag over her shoulder.
“Hey, wait for me, okay?” I ask.
Her eyebrows shoot upward, and she opens her mouth, lookin’ like she wants to argue, but I give her a look. She shuts it and nods before walking out the door.
Deep breath.
“Sup?”
“Bro,” she says before grinning, “you’ve never said that before. Who’ve you been hanging out with?”
I chuckle, but don’t respond other than that. Kind of want to get this over with. Half ‘cause Hayles is waitin’ for me, and half ‘cause I’m not sure if the stomach twisting is because of Quynn or Hayles, and I don’t want to be more confused than I already am.
“I went to your house on Friday.”
I clear my throat. “Uh, yeah. My mom told me about that.”
She smiles. “Thank you for talking me into it. I can’t remember the last time I was able to enjoy a Friday night.”
Good, she’s not mad. Maybe I was reading too much into that sort-of hug she gave me last week. “No prob.” I twist the strap of my backpack around my wrist and stand. “That all you needed?”
“Oh!” Her face goes red, and she dumps my books off the desk with her hip. “Um, no. I wanted to talk to you about something else too.” She bends to pick up the books, and I’m not as big a douche as I thought ‘cause I help.
“Shoot.” Wish she’d just spit it out. Hayles is waitin’ for me.
Her face gets red again as she hands me my stuff. “Just wanted to know how things are going with your signs. Your mom said you were having trouble.”
I shrug. “Good. Hayley’s helpin’ me out. Think I’ll be okay.”
Half smile. “Oh, well… I thought… if you want…” She pauses for a second, clacking her tongue and lookin’ at the door. “I don’t mind going over signs with you after school. That is, if you don’t feel weird about that.”
Damn it. Opportunity I’ve been waitin’ for, and now I don’t want it.
“Uh, thanks. But I’ll keep tryin’ with Hayley for a bit.”
“Okay. Just let me know if you ever need my help.”
“Yup.” Gotta get outta here. Starting to get awkward. I walk toward the door, but her voice stops me again.
“Hey, Bro?”
“Yeah?”
She takes a deep breath and twirls her hair in her hand. Damn it, she’s got somethin’ on her mind. I’m tryin’ not to care, but it’s hard.
“Somethin’ wrong?”
Half smile—again. “Well, I have plans to stop by and see your mom on Friday again. I was kind of hoping I’d see you too for a bit. Like before, you know?”
Friday. Hayles’ birthday. If I ever get the guts to ask her out, and she says yes, I won’t be home. At least, not long enough to hang out with Quynn like we used to. There goes my freakin’ luck, choosin’ between two amazing girls.
The choice is easy though. Surprisingly easy.
“Maybe. I may have plans though.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah.”
I should say it. I should say it right now. I’m goin’ to take Hayles out. But I don’t. I can’t find the words. I don’t want to find the words. Not sure if Quynn would understand. Hayles isn’t… it’s just different.
“Okay, then. I guess I’ll see you next class.” She’s sad, and I hate it. But I can’t do anythin’ about it. Not without screwin’ things up.
“Later.” I smile, tryin’ to seem like this isn’t the most awkward conversation I’ve had in my life.
Reason 12: You don’t let my jackass jerk brother get to you
“Sorry. I just want to drop off some stuff,” I say to Hayles as we pull in my driveway. “You want to wait here?”
“Heck no!” She smiles as she unbuckles. “I want me some Coke, if you got any.”
I laugh and quickly grab the door for her. “Sure.”
She’s bouncing as we walk up the porch. It’s going to be a good afternoon, I can tell already. I don’t want to ruin it by askin’ her out, but I’m going to. Just have to find the right moment.
I stick the key in the door and step back to let her in first. She brushes past me and I have the sudden urge to touch the small of her back. Just to rest my hand there. Dude, I want any excuse to touch her at all.
She stops in the entryway and I sidle up next to her, ‘accidentally’ bumping into her back. She doesn’t move, which surprises and excites me—for about two seconds.
“Damn, dude. Don’t mind me. Just forget I’m even here.”
Douchebag brother.
“What the he—” Oh right, Hayles is here. “Heck are you doin’ here?”
Gabe stalks to the fridge, his ass stickin’ out of his jeans. He’s wearing boxer briefs, but still doesn’t leave much to the imagination. Hayles averts her eyes, like the red wall by the stairs is the most interesting piece of artwork she’s ever seen.
“I’m outta food.”
“Go buy some then.”
“Can’t.” He swings open the fridge and pulls up his jeans, which fall right back down. “Nicole don’t get paid till the thirtieth.”
“Get a job.”
He chuckles and smacks a brick of cheese, mayo, and jar of pickles on the counter. “That’s why I have Nicole. So I don’t need a job.”
“And here you are stealin’ food from your mom.”
I don’t give a shit he’s waitin’ on his suga momma. He needs to get the hell outta here before I lose it in front of Hayles. Just lookin’ at the prick makes me want to punch the crap out of him.
“Touché, little bro.” His idiotic laughter gets muffled as he sticks his head in the cupboard.
“Um,” Hayles whispers in my ear. “Bathroom?”
Yeah, I don’t blame her. “Down the hall, second door on the right.”
“Thanks.”
She’s gone, and I’m storming into the kitchen. I fight Gabe as he takes things out, and I put them back.
“Dude, chill!”
“You need to get out!”
“Geez, who pissed in your lunch?” He grabs a grocery bag from under the sink and starts shoving as much food as he can into it. “I told you to forget I was here.”
“You can’t just pop in after ten months of nothin’ but bein’ a complete dick to Mom and Dad. Then there’s Quynn—”
“Oh, I get it.” He pulls up his jeans, which again does no good. “You still into my ex?”
I gulp. “What are ya talkin’ about?”
“You know what I’m talkin’ about. I don’t blame you, kid. She’s damn sexy. Piece o’ work, but she was good in the sack. I say have a go at her if you can. But don’t be pissed at me for movin’ on to richer fish.”
Can’t take this anymore. I slam him against the fridge, holdin’ him by his stupid-ass Korn shirt. “You better shut your mouth before I do it for you.”
He chuckles, and I tighten my grip.
“It’s not funny, dickwad.”
“All right, all right.” He shakes from my hold, and I reluctantly let go. If it wasn’t for Hayles in the next room, I’d beat the crap out of him.
He digs through more cupboards and I let him. I just want him out of here.
“Bingo.” He pulls out Dad’s six pack of Corona. I know I’m going to get an earful from Dad, but I don’t care.
“Look little bro,” Gabe says, gettin’ all his ‘hard-earned’ food together, “learn from my damn shit and don’t get attached too young just ‘cause your girlfriend’s got one hell of an ass. Bang any chick who’ll give you whatever you want without naggin’ your balls off. And mooch off your parents when they aren’t home. Trust me, this shit’s a lot easier than workin’ your ass off for minimum wage.”
He opens a beer and slides it across the bar to me, then opens one for himself. “Oh, and stop bein’ so damn pissed all the time.”
He slugs me in the arm as he passes me, beer in one hand, bag of half the food from our fridge in the other.
I’m not sure how he became such a dick. But if it’s genetic, I hope it bypassed me.
“Get out.” I don’t touch the beer, though I kind of want to once he leaves.
He stops at the door to give me one of those stupid cocky smirks. “Have fun with your girl. Didn’t peg you as a chubby chaser, but whatever gets you action. Might help with your attitude.”
If I was faster, he’d have a broken face. But he’s gone before I can get to the door.
“Well,” Hayles says from the hallway. Oh crap, please tell me she didn’t hear that. “He’s a real charmer.” She smiles, but her eyes are filled to the brim with tears.
Crap. Crap. Crap.
“Hey,” I say, closing the distance between us. I don’t care how awkward this may be or that she hates it when I touch her. “Don’t listen to him, all right? He’s a jacka… he’s just a jerk.”
She nods, attempts another smile and shrugs. “No biggie. I stopped listening after the nagging balls comment.”
She’s lyin’, but how do I make her feel better without makin’ this worse? I go to wrap her in a hug, but she coughs and takes a step back.
“Do you mind if I use your phone?” she asks. “I wanna check and see if mine is ready yet.”
“Sure.” I tug my phone outta my pocket and slide it into her open palm, ignoring how moronic I feel for tryin’ to comfort her and failing.
“Thanks dawg. I’ll just be a sec.” Another fake smile.
I nod as she presses the phone to her ear and turns around. Better give her privacy, even though I want to wrap her in my arms and apologize over and over for my dick of a brother. Stalking to the kitchen, I grab my backpack I dropped by the door and start puttin’ away the mess Gabe made. Dad’s going to kill me for lettin’ him take his favorite beer, but nothin’ I can do about it now.
