by Sara Orwig
Cade knew exactly what he should do, but he was more drawn to her by the hour and he couldn’t explain why, except she was sexy, gorgeous, fun and intelligent. That was a deadly combination when he was living under the same roof with her. It made him want to get to know the appealing woman she was. Get to know her and get her into his bed. But he could not do any such thing because too much was at stake—his lifelong friendship with his best friend and her fragile peace of mind after going through two heartbreaks.
No, he needed to fortify that wall around himself so he could stay on the ranch with Erin and learn how to take care of Amelia. But how in sweet hell would he survive night after night of putting Amelia to bed early and then staying alone with her nanny? Amelia’s gorgeous, sexy nanny that he wanted to seduce?
“Dammit.”
He went upstairs quietly because he had learned one thing—don’t wake a baby that is dozing off. He had learned long ago how to move without making noise, so he tiptoed to open his connecting door.
As he looked into Amelia’s room, he stood riveted. Erin held her close in her arms, rocking her. A small lamp burned with only low light in the room, but Cade could see the tears running down Erin’s cheeks.
The lamp caught highlights in her red-gold hair that spilled over her shoulders. Taken aback because she was hurting, he closed the door quietly and walked away.
He wanted to cross the room and hold her and comfort her, but he didn’t dare. Sympathy would turn to desire as quickly as a lightning bolt streaking across the sky.
He stood thinking about her and wondered whether she was crying over the baby she lost or the guy she lost or both. Was she still in love with him? The guy couldn’t have really been in love and dumped her the way he did.
Cade thought of his dad and the three women he had married and the mistresses and the misery he had caused. Once again he promised himself that he would never get married. Returning to the sitting area, he picked up toys and put away the blanket. Then he cleaned the kitchen and was finishing when he turned to find Erin standing in the doorway.
“I was gone the right amount of time,” she said, joking with him when she entered the room, and if he hadn’t seen the tears on her cheeks, he wouldn’t have guessed she had had a bad minute since she’d left him to put Amelia down.
“Ready for some relaxation—more wine, play a game, watch something or just sit?” he asked.
“I vote for just sit. For a little person who doesn’t talk yet, I seem to have a lot of conversation with her.”
“I’m getting a beer. I didn’t drink that first one, but it’s no longer cold.” He grabbed a bottle from the fridge. “Now let’s go sit and you can take one side of the room and I’ll take the other and if we’re tempted to meet in the center, we can imagine your brother sitting in the middle of the room.”
She laughed. “Luke values your friendship. You know he does.”
“Not as much as he wants his baby sister to avoid getting hurt. I don’t blame him. I wasn’t happy about my half brother getting hurt.”
“How was that?”
“I figured you’d heard Luke say something because he knew. C’mon, let’s sit and I’ll tell you,” Cade said, walking into the adjoining sitting area.
“Oh, my, you picked up all Amelia’s toys and put them away. You’re catching on to being a dad. Very good.”
“I am very good,” he said, flirting and not thinking about toys.
She blinked and her eyes sparkled. “Modest, too,” she teased back at him. “Cleaned the kitchen, put away the toys. Very talented man,” she said, turning swiftly to sit in a wing chair. The full skirt of her sundress swirled around her legs and flew up over her knees. She flipped her skirt down and crossed her long legs, looking up to see him looking at her legs. His gaze met hers.
“I’m talented in other areas, too,” he drawled. “You’d be surprised.”
She smiled at him. “I don’t think I’ll pursue what you’re so talented at tonight. You were going to talk about your half brother. That should be a safe topic.”
Cade crossed the room, sat in the big leather chair he liked, propped his feet on the matching ottoman and settled back, thinking he could look at her all night. The soft light picked up the blond highlights in her red hair that spilled over her shoulders. The top of her sundress revealed the beginnings of the lush curves of her creamy breasts. Her skin was perfect, smooth, ivory and so soft-looking.
He wanted to cross the room, pick her up and place her on his lap and kiss her. He thought about her upstairs, crying over her losses, rocking and holding Amelia, who had also had big losses.
He didn’t want to add any more hurt to what Erin had already gone through, so he settled back in the chair and looked out the window at the lighted yard while he went back to a safer topic.
“My family history is not the best ever. When Dad divorced Veronica, Blake was too little to understand what was happening. Dad cut Veronica and Blake out of his life completely. I don’t think Blake was a year old. As a child, Blake had no memory of his dad ever speaking to him.”
“He was a tiny baby. How could a dad not speak to his own child?”
“Blake said his mother told him that it was because his dad was angry with her. Whatever the reason, he ignored Blake. Blake wasn’t any part of our lives, either—we didn’t know who he was when we were little, and then had nothing to do with him because that’s what we were taught. Our mothers didn’t get along.”
“That might have been because of your dad, too.”
“I don’t know. Actually, we never saw a lot of our dad, but our relationships with him weren’t as bad as the way he snubbed Blake. He didn’t pay much attention to the three of us and we all went to military schools.”
“Was he a solitary person?”
Cade smiled. “He was a wealthy person. He spent his energies making money and that’s what he loved. Money and power. He’s a multibillionaire. There were mistresses and Mom divorced him. When Mom and Dad divorced, we hardly saw him, but he would show up at a graduation or something big.”
“I can’t imagine a father being that way,” she said, shaking her head. “I have such a good dad.”
“Yes, you do. I know him and he’s a good father. He’s friendly and great with kids. Anyway, Blake and I are the same age and in high school we realized there wasn’t any reason to dislike each other. We became close friends and I brought him into the family. He never came to anything if our dad was there until the past year. We can thank Sierra for causing Blake to lose a lot of his bitterness and to actually contact our dad and want to meet him. They have a truce of sorts now.”
“Sierra must have been a good influence.”
“She was, but it’s too late. Our dad means nothing to Blake. Our Mom, Crystal, was around, but her big interest was her social life, so we had nannies. Just like you and Luke, we grew up in Downly. Your family stayed in Downly, mine acquired a Dallas home, too, which is where Mom still lives if she ever comes home. Our grandfather had a ranch—that’s where we spent a lot of time. Some of that you should know from Luke.”
“I didn’t ask Luke about his friends’ backgrounds.”
“Well, now you have a chunk of my sordid family history.”
“It’s awful he cut his son out of his life. Blake was only a little baby,” she said again.
“Relationships are important. I don’t want to lose your brother’s friendship. He’s meant too much to me for too long. Besides, I wouldn’t want to do one thing to hurt his little sister.”
He received one of her high-voltage dimpled smiles and felt his insides clutch. “Now why would you possibly hurt me?” she asked.
“Never deliberately.”
“There must be a ‘bad-boy’ side to you that worries Luke,” she said in a throaty voice.
Th
e room suddenly became too hot and she was sitting too far away. He wanted to reach for her and toss an answer back at her. Before he could, she suddenly looked startled as if she just realized the direction of their conversation and her smile vanished.
“Whoops. I forgot the situation for a moment there.” She fanned herself. “You made me forget all about my brother, his warnings and all I’ve heard about you. I remembered in the nick of time. I think we’ll go on to a new topic.” She paused a moment, then settled on a safe question. “Is this a cattle ranch, horse ranch? I don’t really know much about you even though you and Luke have known each other for a long time.”
For a minute he didn’t answer her. His head spun with her changes, but he had discovered that she could be sexy, could be fun, could flirt and she might like to kiss—knowledge that aroused him, made him hot, made him want her more. He struggled to follow her to the safe conversation, fighting his way back to the guardian/nanny roles.
“It’s a cattle ranch,” he finally replied, “but I have other interests. I work with Gabe in commercial real estate, but I’m easing away from that because of Amelia. I prefer the life of a rancher and since I can afford to do what I want, I can live here and work at what I like best.”
“I suspect being a rancher involves some rough, hard and dangerous work—more than being in an office, although driving through traffic to get to work can be dangerous, very hazardous.”
“There are challenges here, along with rewards, satisfaction for getting out and doing things that are physical. You want to work with children, which is good—you’re great at it.”
“I like child psychology. I like human services and counseling children. Actually, there are a lot of possibilities. I think I may be able to choose where I want to work. My brother, on the other hand, wants to be in the exotic spots, although an environmental engineer can work all over the world.”
“He won’t find any frozen tundra in Texas,” he said, and she smiled.
As the evening passed, he found her easy to talk to which was no surprise because in some ways she was a little like her brother, plus they had grown up in the same general area and gone to the same schools, even though she was several years younger. He kept on track, constantly thinking about Luke, but it took an effort, especially when they laughed together over a humorous episode in their pasts.
Her laughter was infectious and enticing and always stirred the desire to kiss her. Kissing her was never far from his thoughts. Each time, he had to think about Luke, remember seeing her rocking and crying. He suspected from here on, he should find something else to do with his evenings after one or the other of them put Amelia to bed.
“You asked me about going out on Friday nights,” she said at one point. “Please feel free to do so, Friday or Saturday night. I don’t mind staying and I won’t be going back to Dallas a lot of weekends, so I can take care of Amelia.”
“You’re trying to get rid of me,” he said, amused that she was urging him to go somewhere.
“I might be,” she said with that mischievous look she’d had a couple of times when she relaxed about being with him.
“Right now, there isn’t anyone in particular I’m seeing and nothing much going on, so it’s okay to stay home. I can say the same thing to you—the weekends are yours, after this first month. This one I’d like to stay at your side and see what you do to take care of Amelia and what I should feed her.”
“I’d be glad to,” she agreed. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. Amelia’s a good baby. She’s been sleeping so well, which is great because some little kids don’t. She likes her food and she’s happy most of the time. She’s a happy, easy baby so you’re in luck there.” Erin stood and he came to his feet. “Sounds like we’ve got a busy day tomorrow, so I think I’ll go to my room now. I’ll see you in the morning. And remember, if you want to go out tomorrow night, go right ahead. I’ll be here anyway.”
Amused, he smiled because he was certain she was trying to get him out of the house. “I’ll think about it. It would probably be better for both of us if I did something, even if it’s just driving to Downly or points north, south, east or west and getting away from temptation.”
As she nodded, her cheeks flushed. “I think that’s an excellent idea. If you don’t want to do that, maybe I will. It’ll be a nice summer evening. “Good night, Cade,” she said, and turned for the door.
Remaining where he was, he watched her leave without answering her. What he wanted to do was walk down the hall with her or try to talk her into staying longer because it wasn’t late, but he knew better. As she left the room, he let out his breath.
He had to get out of the house tomorrow night because she had flat out asked him to do so or told him if he didn’t, she would. He thought about women he usually liked to take out and quickly rejected each one. He’d go to dinner in Downly and find somewhere to go for a beer, spend some time and come home late.
He had a lot of nights and a lot of weekends ahead of him, so he better find something to do or someone else who interested him.
He stood with his hands on his hips. He was on edge. Maybe he should work out, he thought. But he didn’t feel like going into his home gym. All he wanted was her back in the room so they could at least talk.
Finally he went to his room to change. He’d just pulled off his boots when he heard Amelia crying. He glanced at the closed door to her room and waited a moment, but as she continued crying, he crossed the room.
Her crying stopped and he wondered if she had gone back to sleep or if Erin was with her. He waited a moment and then knocked lightly on the door.
“Come in,” Erin called, so he opened the door and entered to find Erin holding Amelia. The baby clung to Erin’s shoulder, but turned when he entered to look at him.
“I heard her crying.”
“Maybe she heard me say what a wonderful sleeper she is and decided she would prove me wrong,” Erin said, smiling at Amelia. Amelia stared at Cade and held her tiny arms out, reaching for him.
“Hey, she wants to go to you. See, she likes for you to hold her,” Erin said, crossing the room to hand Amelia to him.
He wanted to wrap his arms around both of them. Instead, he took Amelia who was warm, soft and smelled faintly of baby powder. “What’s disturbing our baby?” he asked her softly, turning to walk with her. She wrapped her arm around his neck and clung to him, seeming to be happy as far as he could tell.
He should tell Erin to go on to bed, that he would rock Amelia back to sleep and put her in her crib, but he didn’t want Erin to go. Still in her green sundress, she stood looking at him. In the soft light of one small lamp she looked more enticing than ever.
“I’d feel better if you’d stay,” he said to Erin. “Do you mind?”
“Of course not,” she answered, holding back a smile. “I wasn’t going far away,” she added, glancing at the open door to her suite.
“I know. I’ll walk her a little and then rock her a little if she likes to rock.”
“Fine, but give her to me whenever you want, although she looks very happy now with your arms around her. I don’t know why she’s awake.”
“She’ll go back to sleep,” he said quietly walking around the room with her and then sitting in the rocker to rock her while Erin had already settled in a large, overstuffed chair.
After a few minutes Amelia placed her head on his shoulder.
“When her eyes close, tell me,” he whispered.
“Her eyes are already closed. I think she’ll go to sleep,” Erin said softly.
Cade continued rocking for another twenty minutes while he talked quietly to Erin.
“She is definitely asleep,” Erin told him.
“I’ll put her in her bed now,” he said, handling her with great care as he stood and placed her in her crib. Erin came to stand beside h
im.
“See, she’s sound asleep.”
“It’s early, Erin. I’m not going to bite. Come back and let’s have cookies and milk or something and talk awhile longer.”
Her green eyes widened as she gazed at him with a slight frown and didn’t answer.
“I’ve kept my distance and haven’t flirted. C’mon. It’ll be more fun than sitting alone and I’m hours from sleep.”
“Against all good judgment, I’ll go with you for a while,” she said. “It’s early and Amelia seems sound asleep.”
Satisfaction made him smile when she nodded and walked beside him. They paused at the door to both look back at Amelia, who was asleep curled on her side.
After he got some crackers, cheese, ice water for her and a cold beer for himself, they sat in the screened part of his porch on the darker east side of his house.
“I have fewer trees on this side of the house—the three oaks are it for now and they each have a couple of lights, but nothing like the other sides. I enjoy sitting out here in the dark sometimes. I can switch those lights off so it’s dark enough to see some stars.”
Their voices were soft in the quiet night. She had her iPad open, the brightness dimmed, but he could see Amelia hadn’t moved since they left her.
He put his feet on another chair and talked quietly to Erin. “This is the most peaceful place on earth.”
“You love it here, don’t you?”
“Yes. I love everything about it except the paperwork. I can’t totally escape that, what with keeping records, making sure taxes are right.”
“Why don’t you just do this all the time?”
“I wanted a business, to make money and not live on what Dad has given us. Just another little way to try to break away from him now that I’m grown.”
“Cade, you’re already becoming a good daddy for Amelia. You’re not the same man as your dad, you know.”
“Damn, I hope not. Are you going to give me a pitch on how great it would be to get married?”
She laughed softly, a tempting sound that made him want to draw her close. “It’s just ridiculous for you to decide you’ll never marry because your dad couldn’t stay happily married. You’re a different person.”
