by Tijan
She flashed an apologetic smile. “I couldn’t not say anything.”
She turned to Logan, but I knew what she was going to say.
“You disappeared last night after we got here,” I said. “You called your dad, didn’t you?”
She jerked her head in an unsteady nod. “I had to.”
Logan was quiet again. She kept skirting her gaze to him, then back to me.
“This isn’t the first time an athlete has been in trouble,” she said. “My dad knows guys. They can pull some strings and get favors. I had to let him know ahead of time. He needed a chance to see if he could help. Mason deserved that.”
Logan pointed to the screen. “It’s working.”
She nodded, sitting down across from him. She was on the edge of her seat, her hands pressed together on her knees. “Are you mad at me?”
His eyes softened. “No, baby. Never.”
She sighed, her shoulders relaxing.
One of the reporters was speaking again. “Did they arrest him?”
Taylor nodded toward the television. “That reporter and the other one you guys heard talking, those are heavy-hitter sports reporters. They’ve always tried to help my dad, if they can. Sometimes they can, sometimes they can’t, but they’re going over and above in this press conference. My guess is that they don’t like Steven Quinn for some reason.” She lifted a shoulder. “Or they just really like Mason.”
We all looked at each other.
“Nah.” That came from Nate.
Logan shook his head. “No way. Who likes Mason?”
I only laughed, content to hear the jokes from them. My stomach had stopped twisting, and the press conference seemed to be coming to an end. I stood. I needed to be there for Mason now, and I moved to grab a sweatshirt and my purse when I heard, “. . . You stated before that your girlfriend was your ‘girlfriend at the time.’ Why is that? Did you two break up?”
No.
I froze, my hand in mid-air, and then I heard Mason answer, almost too quickly.
“—she’s my fiancée now.”
I gulped.
He hadn’t.
He had.
I turned swiftly. Everyone in the room stared at me with varying expressions of surprise. Nate’s eyes were wide, Taylor had the beginning of a smile, and Logan—he was the one I was most afraid to look at—his eyes were hooded, his face unreadable.
I started for him. “Logan.”
He held up a hand, stopping me in my tracks. He didn’t say a word, just stood and walked outside.
Taylor stood too. Her eyebrows pulled together. “Sam, I—”
“Go after him.” I stepped back.
She rushed past me, but squeezed my arm on the way and whispered, “Congratulations!” Then she was gone, slamming the door behind her.
It was just Nate and me.
His hand moved from his neck to the side of his face. He held it there a second before letting it fall. Then he lifted his arms. “Congratulations, Sam. Come here.”
I stepped into his hug, but I was tense. He was tense. Logan was pissed, and I needed to get to Mason’s side.
I hugged him, though. “Thank you, Nate.”
He squeezed me once more before letting me go. “Logan’s just hurt. You know that.”
I nodded. “Doesn’t make it hurt less.”
I started for the door, but Nate said my name again, and I looked over.
“You know we’re going to have an epic party now, don’t you?” He gave me a half-grin.
I felt myself smile, but my stomach twisted back up. “First things first.”
“Right.” He pointed to the door. “Go be with your man. Oh, hey—”
I paused once more.
“He doesn’t lie about you,” Nate said. “You’re something in his life that he is beyond proud of. He never wants to make you feel that he isn’t. That’s why he said it.”
My smile grew sad, but I still felt a flutter in my chest.
“I know.” Then I left.
Mason was shaking hands with two men when I got there.
His coaches were next to them, and I overheard one of the men saying, “There are a lot of ways we could’ve spun your story, but we’re not idiots. All of us, or most of us, have covered Steven Quinn. The guy’s a prick. Finding out he hired someone to attack and harass you? Not shocking to us. Trust me. I think you’ll be shocked at the reception you’ll get after our articles come out. I wouldn’t be surprised if the article retracts and issues an apology.”
The guy who’d been speaking clasped a hand on Mason’s head coach’s arm. “It’s been real, Hank. Thanks for the heads-up.”
He and the second guy took off.
Mason said to his coach, “You knew?”
“Taylor called me as soon as Logan told her. You’re going to be family one day, Mason. And the truth was on your side this time. You and your brother might do asinine things, but this time you didn’t. You really were just protecting your loved ones.”
Broozer glanced over, saw me, and nodded in my direction. “And I hear congratulations are in order. Congratulations, Samantha. I know Taylor’s really grown fond of you.”
He held his hand out, and I shook it, feeling dazed.
He patted Mason on the shoulder. “I can’t say anything official to you, but if you still want a career in the NFL, I’m pretty sure it’ll be there waiting.”
Mason let out a breath. “Thank you.” He looked to his other coach. “Thank you both.”
“This is part of our job. We don’t like to let our kids hang out to dry. We’ll protect you as much as we can, every goddamn time.”
They left, and Mason turned to me. His eyes were haunted, and he seemed to brace himself. “I couldn’t lie. Not about you. I can never lie about you.”
But I knew a time he had lied about me. He’d sent another girl to take the assault that should’ve been for me. He was protecting me then, like he was protecting me now.
I nodded. “I know. We can talk about it later.”
I rested a hand on the side of his face, and he leaned into it, his eyes closing for a moment.
My throat grew thick. “How are you?”
He pulled me in for a hug and held me so tightly. He buried his face in my neck. “Better. I’m so much better.”
I hugged him back, just as tight, and we stayed like that for a long time.
“So, how pissed is Logan?” Mason asked.
We’d gone back to our spot, and we were once again submerged in the pool underneath the butterfly statue. Mason treaded water in front of me while I sat on the edge, dipping my legs.
“He was hurt that you did the press conference without us, but Nate took up for you, and Logan got over it.” I looked away, feeling a knot in my chest. “Then you announced our engagement. He left after that.”
He cursed under his breath and narrowed his eyes at me. “Why aren’t you mad?”
“Nate reminded me that you said it because you’re proud of me, and that you probably couldn’t lie about me.” I wasn’t mad, but I was hurt. That was what I was.
“Oh.” He was moving his arms under the water in small circles, and he looked down at them now. “But you’re hurt, aren’t you?”
My shoulders sagged. Why did I even try to keep something from him? He looked back up to me, and I let him see the truth.
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry.”
I lifted a shoulder, holding it pressed against my cheek. “It is what it is. We can’t go backwards now.”
“Meaning?” He swam closer to me, his hands resting on my legs.
“I am hurt.”
His hands dropped from my legs, and he flinched, but he kept looking at me. He didn’t drop his gaze.
“That was our news to announce together, and you said you were going to ask again.” He had to know the truth.
His voice grew hoarse. “That’s what you want? You still want me to ask again?”
I nodded. “With
the ring, and I want it to be romantic again.”
He watched me, studying, and I saw a lingering question lurking in his depths.
“You’ll be ready this time?”
Was I ready? I had to look down. My insides trembled.
“I’m scared.”
He looked back down to the water.
I saw how his shoulders went rigid, and just like that, I knew my fears were garbage. That’s all they were. Just excess trash I needed to expunge. I slid into the water, and Mason’s head lifted in surprise as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He was going to give me space. I knew it instinctively, and I didn’t want it right now. So I went to him before he could move away. I could feel him right between my legs, where he always belonged, and I wrapped my arm around his shoulder. He caught me, holding me in place, and I drew my fingers through his hair. Our faces were inches apart.
“You can’t lie about me? I can’t lie to you.” I brushed my lips over his. “I don’t know how it might happen, but I’m scared. I couldn’t handle losing you.”
“Sam,” Mason whispered, raising one of his hands to cup the side of my face. His thumb rubbed over my cheek. “You might’ve seen your mother at her worst, but you also watched David. He stayed. He held on because he loved you. She left him, but he never left her.”
“But he did. One time.”
Mason cursed again, his lips falling to my shoulder. He lightly nipped me there, tightening his hold around my back. “I’m sorry. I forgot the time she . . .”
Killed her babies.
He couldn’t say it. Neither could I.
I rested my head on his shoulder and hugged him. I didn’t know what the future would hold. I was sure there’d be challenges, but I was sure there’d be good times as well. There was a layer of strength and belief in us, but underneath it, I couldn’t deny there was a layer of fear.
I felt tears forming, and before they shed, I whispered, “Let’s get married now.”
“What?” He pulled back to gaze down at me.
Those tears fell. “Let’s do it now. Before—”
Before it was too late. Before we built walls around our hearts, because that was what my mother taught me to do.
I finally figured it out, and the realization spread through me at breakneck speed. I guarded myself. At first it was against her, but it’d be against Mason eventually. It was part of my DNA, a part of me. I wouldn’t know I was doing it until it was too late.
That couldn’t happen. I couldn’t safeguard myself against him.
My fingers gripped his skin. “Let’s go now. Let’s do it before we fuck up and something horrible happens.”
“Sam.”
He was going to say no. He was going to say everything would be all right. He was going to say all the right things, that we’d be fine, that we loved each other, that we’d never do what our parents did. Maybe he was right, but I still felt there would be a time when neither of us would realize what was happening. Something would put us on opposite sides of each other, and that would be the end.
“Please, Mason.”
He began threading his fingers through my hair, tucking my strands behind my ear. “Do you trust me?”
I nodded. I didn’t trust myself.
“If you trust me, believe me when I say that we’re going to be fine. I’ve never done anything to hurt you. You’ve never hurt me. We will be fine. I promise.”
My hand wrapped around his wrist where he cupped the side of my face. I clung to him, wanting to accept what he was saying, but my gut was saying otherwise. Something was going to happen. Something neither of us would foresee, and whatever it was—it was going to rip us apart.
I closed my eyes and rested my forehead to his shoulder.
“Sam.” He smoothed my hair down my back. “Everything will be all right. I promise.”
I trusted him. I was the problem.
All I murmured was, “Okay.”
“Okay?” He was smiling, searching my face, and his eyes darkened. His lips found mine, resting there softly. “It’ll be fine. I won’t let anything happen to you or me. I promise.”
Again, that word.
I was starting to hate that word, just like when Analise would promise me. She made all sorts of commitments. She failed on all of them.
But I nodded and breathed out. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
I nodded again, closing my eyes. I felt his lips on mine again, and this time they didn’t pull away. They held there and applied pressure. They took me away on a different journey, and when Mason slid inside of me, I moved with him, but I couldn’t shake what my gut was saying.
We were on borrowed time.
MASON
Sam fell asleep on the short drive home.
I didn’t have the heart to wake her, so I was carrying her inside when Logan stepped into the hallway. I held a hand up before he could start and gestured to her. I held up a finger. One minute. That’s all I was asking for, and his eyes fell to Sam before he nodded. He stepped back into the living room while I slipped into the bedroom.
Sam and I had rinsed off before leaving the pool, and I’d done my thing, going back and making sure the cameras were wiped during our time slot there. When I got back, she’d had the Escalade running, the heat turned up, and was curled into a ball in the back. I knew she was asleep even before hearing her deep breathing.
And as I placed her under the covers now, she didn’t even stir.
I grabbed new clothes and moved into the hallway bathroom to change before going to find Logan. I didn’t want to wake her.
He’d poured himself a drink while waiting for me. I smelled the aroma of bourbon, and he waved toward the liquor cabinet with his glass. “Have at it. I’m in the mood to get ripped tonight.”
Even if Sam hadn’t told me, I would’ve known instantly. Logan was furious, more hurt than anything else.
I poured myself a glass, then turned around. “I’m sorry.”
“For what, big brother?” His face showed no emotion. But his eyes were raging. “For going to self-sacrifice without me? Or asking Sam to marry you and not telling me the news?” He flung a hand toward the television. “I heard about it on the fucking TV! Like everyone else!”
“I’m sorry.”
He grunted, sipping from his glass. “You better damn well be. You cut me out. I’m not everyone else. I’m the one who’s never left your side.”
“I know.”
“Do you?!” he spat. “I’d tell you before I asked Taylor to marry me. Fuck. You’d be in on the planning. And if you weren’t, you’d be my first phone call after she said yes.” He laughed, and the sound was bitter. “You’d be my first phone call if she said no too.” His eyes grew wary. “How long ago?”
“When I asked her?”
He nodded. “How long have you been engaged and you haven’t told me?”
“A month.”
His head tipped back. “Are you serious? A whole month.”
I sat down at the table. Logan kept the lights off, which I was grateful for, and he followed me. He brought the bourbon with him, placing it on the table between us.
“She didn’t say yes.”
He went still, and his eyes lifted to mine. “You shitting me?”
I shook my head, finishing my glass and refilling it. I had practice in the afternoon tomorrow—or I hoped I still did—but I didn’t care now. Logan was right. I should’ve told him right away, and admitting Sam’s reluctance was like a weight off my shoulders.
I leaned back in my chair. “She’s scared, and she wasn’t prepared. I wasn’t even prepared. I just decided that day, and I did it. I lit a bunch of those fake-candle things girls like, and I put them all around on this path Sam likes to run.”
“Ah . . .” Logan mocked me, grinning. “How romantic of you.”
“Shut up. You’ll do something twice as romantic for Taylor, and you know it.”
“Yeah,” he conceded, reaching for the bourbon again.
“You’re right. I’ll blow your proposal out of the water.”
I cringed, hearing that word. I remembered holding Sam in the pool, moving inside of her. She was with me. She had felt all the sensations I did, but she wasn’t quite there. I could feel her doubt. It clung to her like a blanket sometimes, and marrying me—she was nervous. I felt a knife inside every time I admitted that to myself.
I was ready.
I could wait, but I was ready. There was no doubt for me. No fear.
I’d do anything for her, but the woman I placed on a pedestal above me wasn’t sure about marrying me. She said she was, she whispered the words, but I knew she wasn’t. Even though I said on television we were engaged, a part of her wasn’t my fiancée at all. A part of her wanted to run from me.
I downed my glass and filled it for a third time.
“You okay?”
I looked over, hearing Logan’s concern. “You still pissed at me?”
“Shit, no. Not after hearing she said no.”
I nodded. It sucked. It more than sucked. It burned me raw. “Yeah.”
“You want to go do something stupid? Like we did in high school?”
I glanced over. “Like what?”
But I was going. Whatever he suggested, I needed to slip back into that skin where it was him and me against the world. Everything made more sense then.
“Let’s go find Adam Quinn.” He grinned crookedly at me. “Let’s go light his car on fire.”
I grinned back at him. “Like we did with the Broudous.”
This was wrong.
This was stupid.
This was something we’d do in high school.
I finished my third glass. “I’m in.” I pointed the glass at him. “But just the car. Nothing else. We can’t be that stupid.”
He nodded. “Of course. We’re never dumb.”
We both cracked grins, and I said, “We need a driver.”
As one person, we looked up at the ceiling. We were waking Nate within thirty seconds.
“Hey!” I shoved at his shoulder.
Logan didn’t waste time. He yanked off Nate’s blanket and both of us turned away, in case there was nudity.
“HEY!” Nate reared up. “I’m naked.”
