“Go where? Why? What?”
She didn’t answer but kept walking.
“I never pretended I was over her,” he called out.
He was right. He hadn’t pretended he was over Lauren. His progress was all in Sage’s mind.
* * *
“Tell me you’re exaggerating,” Matt said.
“Tell me you’re not that stupid,” Caleb said.
Afternoon sun rays bounced off the smooth water beyond the marina’s rooftop patio.
“I was completely up-front with her,” TJ defended. “She’s known all along this was about Eli.”
“You’re sleeping with her,” Matt said on a high-pitched note.
“It was her idea.”
“People can get emotional about that sort of thing,” Caleb said.
“Are you saying I should stop sleeping with her?”
TJ didn’t want to do that. He truly didn’t want to give that up. It was one of the few things that kept him sane. Those moments in Sage’s arms, he was whole, complete. He wasn’t lonely anymore.
“I’m saying you should stop lying to her,” Matt said.
“I’m not lying to her.” Had TJ’s friends not been listening? “I’ve been excruciatingly honest. From minute one, I’ve held up my end of the deal.”
“You mean the money,” Matt said.
“Sure, I mean the money. Not that I can get her to spend much of it. Well, except on other people. I got her to buy a car and a few clothes. Melissa had to twist her arm to get her to buy furniture.”
“It’s only money,” Caleb said.
“That’s what I keep telling her.”
“I mean, she doesn’t only need money.”
“She definitely needed money.”
“You’re more than generous with your money,” Matt said.
TJ would have liked to take credit for that. He needed some points in this conversation. But money was easy. It was easy to make, and it was easy to give up.
Caleb leaned forward in his chair. “Eli needed more than your money. All the money in the world wouldn’t have saved him without you. And Sage needs more than just your money.”
“Sage isn’t sick.”
Caleb winced. “She needs your love.”
A pain shot through TJ’s head. It was as if his friends had never even met him. “I love Lauren.”
“Lauren is gone,” Matt said.
“Just because she’s gone doesn’t mean I’ve stopped loving her.”
“Maybe not,” Caleb conceded. “But it also doesn’t mean you can’t love Sage.”
“I don’t love Sage.” TJ stopped himself. That sounded harsh. “I mean, I’m not in love with Sage. I love her. In a way. I guess.” He suddenly felt disloyal to Lauren. “I’ll never love anyone the way I loved Lauren.”
Matt’s tone went low, sympathetic, understanding. “Nobody is suggesting you forget Lauren. But Sage is here. She’s real, and she’s in your life. You can go forward, or you can go backward. But you can’t do both.”
“Do you want to lose Sage?” Caleb asked.
“No.” TJ’s answer was instantaneous.
“Do you want to hurt her?”
“No.” TJ didn’t want to hurt Sage.
He’d been trying his utmost not to hurt her since they’d reconnected. He owed her. What was more, he liked and respected her. He was attracted to her. He loved her.
He suddenly pictured the hurt in her eyes as she stared at his wedding picture, his wedding rings, his world with Lauren. He felt a brick hit him in the side of the head.
He’d let Lauren hurt Sage.
How could he have done that?
Lauren was forever his past. But Sage... Sage... Sage was here, and she was his future. She was warm and loving and...
He raised his chin to look at his friends, regret washing through him. “Oh, no.”
“He’s got it,” Caleb said.
“I think he’s got it,” Matt echoed.
“I’m in love with Sage,” TJ said. “I have to apologize.”
“Not with words,” Caleb said.
“Not with money,” Matt said.
TJ understood. He rose. “I have to show her that there’s room in my life for her.”
“He’s not as stupid as he looks,” Matt said with a chuckle.
“Thank goodness for that,” Caleb deadpanned.
TJ gave them a crooked smile, grateful as always for their blunt honesty—no matter how painful it sometimes felt.
He left the marina, striding up the pathway to his house. Sage was still gone, but he’d expected that. He was even glad. He had some work to do before they talked.
It was a good bet that she’d be back when the kids got home from school, which gave him a couple of hours. He pulled some packing boxes out of the basement and took them to his room.
He started with the easy stuff, Lauren’s soap and perfume, and the clothes that were in the dresser drawers. As the items piled up, his chest grew lighter. There were hundreds of happy memories in her possessions. But that was all they were now, happy memories.
By the time he removed the last picture from the dresser, the daylight was fading through the windows. He checked his watch. Sage hadn’t come home, and neither had the children.
A block of fear settled into his stomach. Where were they? Had she taken them? What if he was already too late?
Thirteen
Sage had been halfway to Seattle, her phone switched off and the kids buckled into the back seat when she’d realized she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t run off without a word to TJ. It was a cowardly thing to do, and it was just plain wrong to yank the kids out of school.
Sure, she was hurt. She was humiliated. But TJ was the one sticking to the terms of their agreement. She was the one who’d decided she wanted more. He was right when he said he’d been honest with her all along. He had.
She’d turned around at a rest stop and headed back home.
When she’d arrived, both kids were asleep. TJ had rushed out the front door. When he saw the sleeping children, he’d pressed his lips tight in silence and lifted Eli into his arms.
Sage carted Heidi up to her room. The little girl had barely stirred while Sage slipped her into a nightgown and tucked her into bed.
Then Sage had steeled herself to make an apology. The best thing for everyone was to get back to an even keel. For Eli’s and Heidi’s sakes, she’d bury her feelings for TJ.
She’d have to stop sleeping with him. She couldn’t do friends with benefits, certainly not with TJ. It would be heartbreaking to hold him in her arms and know his love was still with Lauren. She couldn’t bring herself to do that.
But she could do everything else. And she would.
She made her way downstairs. It took a few minutes to find him sitting on the deck outside the family room. Her stomach fluttered, and her heart pounded in trepidation, but she forced herself forward.
“Hi,” she said in a tentative voice, coming out on the deck.
He looked up quickly, as if she’d startled him.
He seemed to take in her appearance.
“I’m sorry,” she said, perching on the edge of the chair next to his, gripping the armrests to steady herself. “I shouldn’t have left like that.”
“I tried to call,” he said.
“My phone was off.”
He gave a nod.
She pressed forward. “You were right. I overreacted. I mean, I reacted. I mean, I shouldn’t have been surprised—”
“I didn’t think you were coming back.” His expression was grim.
“Like I said, I overreacted. I just needed some time, a few miles I guess, to get my head on straight.” She sat up. “We had a deal, TJ. I’m prepared to honor it.”
He gave a gho
st of a self-deprecating smile. “To be my wife?”
“Yes. And Eli and Heidi’s mother. It’s better if we’re together, no matter...” She cleared her throat. “It’s better that we stay together.”
Unexpectedly, he reached out and took her hand, stroking his thumb across her knuckles.
She wanted to snatch it away. It was just too painful to have him touch her.
“I can’t—” Her voice cracked. And then all she could manage was a whisper. “I don’t think we should keep sleeping together.”
His thumb stilled.
“That was a mistake.” She forced herself to rush on. “I know it was my idea, but it was a mistake to think it wouldn’t get too complicated.”
She fell to silence, and the waves below echoed in the night.
“I thought your logic was impeccable,” he said.
She had too, at the time. But that was before she let her heart get in the way. She’d risked her heart, and she’d lost her heart. She was numb now, but she knew she had some very painful days ahead while she tried to get over her feelings for TJ.
“Can I show you something?” he asked.
The question took her by surprise. “Uh, sure. What is it?”
He came to his feet, centering his hold on her hand. “This way.”
“Are we leaving? Is Kristy here?”
“Kristy’s not here. And we’re not leaving.” He led her across the family room and the living room to the hallway and started down.
She stopped dead. “TJ, no. I can’t.”
There was no way she could go back into his bedroom.
“It’ll be okay. I promise.”
She shook her head, trying to pull her hand from his. “It won’t be okay.”
He turned to face her. “Sage.” He brushed her cheek. “Trust me. I’m not going to hurt you again.”
“You didn’t—”
He cocked his head with an expression of disbelief.
“It was my fault, not yours,” she said.
“No. It was my fault. Let me make it up to you.”
Sage swallowed against the lump in her throat. Embarrassingly, tears tingled behind her eyes. “I can’t go in there.”
“She’s gone, Sage.”
His words didn’t make any sense. Sage needed to flee. She needed to get away from all this.
“Lauren is gone,” he said. “She’s gone from my room, and she’s gone from my heart.” He gave a tiny smile. “From most of my heart. I’ll always love what she and I had, but it’s in the past. Come and see.”
Emotion swelled in Sage’s chest, making everything ache. How was she ever going to stop loving him?
He took her hands, backing up, drawing her down the hall with him. “You are my present, Sage.”
The light was on, and she saw the cleared room, blinking to take in the enormity of it. “TJ, you didn’t have to...”
“And you are my future. If you’ll have me. I love you, Sage.”
Her gaze darted to his. She couldn’t believe she’d heard right. “You what?”
He smiled. “I love you so much. If we weren’t already married, I’d be proposing right now. I never, ever, not in a million years thought I could feel this way. Stay with me.” He pointed to the bedroom. “Stay here with me, every night, all the time. Let’s make it real. Let’s have some babies. Let’s fill this house with love and laughter.” He paused. “That is, if you want to. I mean, if you...”
“Love you?” she asked, feeling the brightest of joy take over her world. “I love you, TJ. I didn’t mean to, but I fell very, very hard in love with you.”
He wrapped his arms around her, lifting her from the floor. “I should have known.”
“That I loved you?”
“That I loved you. When I saw you holding Caleb’s daughter, you looked perfect. I wanted our own baby, another baby.”
“More babies,” she mused.
“Would you be okay with that?”
“Mommy?” came a little voice behind her.
Sage turned to see Heidi. It was the first time Heidi had called her that.
“Yes, sweetheart?” Sage let go of TJ and dropped to one knee.
“I had a bad dream.”
“I’m so sorry, sweetie.”
TJ crouched to join them. “Would you like Daddy to come upstairs and read you a story?”
Heidi nodded.
“Okay, pumpkin.” TJ lifted Heidi into his arms.
Then he took Sage’s hand.
She leaned her cheek against his shoulder as they walked. “You’re the best daddy in the entire world.”
Heidi’s arms tightened around his neck. “Best daddy,” she murmured.
“I love you both,” TJ said. “I love you all.”
* * * * *
If you loved this story,
pick up these other sexy and emotional reads
from New York Times bestselling author
Barbara Dunlop!
ONE BABY, TWO SECRETS
THE MISSING HEIR
SEX, LIES AND THE CEO
And don’t miss the first two
WHISKEY BAY BRIDES stories
FROM TEMPTATION TO TWINS
TWELVE NIGHTS OF TEMPTATION
Available now from Harlequin Desire!
***
If you’re on Twitter, tell us what you think of Harlequin Desire! #harlequindesire
Keep reading for an excerpt from BETWEEN MARRIAGE AND MERGER by Karen Booth.
Join Harlequin My Rewards today and earn a FREE ebook!
Click here to Join Harlequin My Rewards
http://www.harlequin.com/myrewards.html?mt=loyalty&cmpid=EBOOBPBPA201602010003
Between Marriage and Merger
by Karen Booth
One
Lily Foster delighted in the idea of a wedding—two people so in love they vow to be together forever. The reality of a wedding, even as an observer, made Lily break out in hives. There she stood in the New York City Clerk’s Office, without the usual trappings of organ music or a minister or the bride in a flowing gown, and the nuptials still put her on edge. Her skin felt clammy. She couldn’t stand still. Her instinct was to run out of the building as fast as her pumps would carry her. But she couldn’t do that. She had to stay put. She’d been generously invited to the impromptu nuptials of her boss’s sister. Lily would’ve done anything for her boss, Noah Locke. To her own detriment, she adored him.
Still, for Lily, watching anyone get married was like unpacking a dusty old steamer trunk of miserable memories of her dream day that never was. When a woman has been left at the altar, no matter the reasons for it, she doesn’t forget it. Ever. And Lily’s world seemed hell-bent on dredging up the memory today.
“By the powers vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”
Tamping down her jealousy and choking back a sob of sentimentality, Lily watched as the bride and groom—Noah’s sister, Charlotte, and her new hubby, ridiculously handsome Michael, got lost in a passionate kiss. For that instant, she could feel the love between them. It was a life force that hit her from five feet away. Tears silently streamed down Lily’s cheeks. Charlotte, in a knee-length white dress that hugged her five-month baby bump, popped up on one foot, kicking the other into the air. It was like the cover of a fun contemporary romance. That was enough for Lily. She couldn’t watch anymore.
She pulled a tissue from her bag and dared to look at Noah, who was standing up for the groom. Noah wasn’t watching the kiss either. His hands were stuffed in the pants pockets of his slim-fitting gray suit. He was staring at his shoes, probably because they were beautiful and expensive, like everything in his life. Noah was a notorious playboy, so much so that the New York tabloids loved to play with him the way a cat bats about a
mouse. Weddings were undoubtedly not Noah’s scene. Lily didn’t even need to ask.
It was no surprise that Noah chose to play the field. He was perfect—tall and trim, athletic but not muscle-bound, with expertly tousled sandy brown hair that was tidy around the ears and back, but a bit long on the top. His moss green eyes were hypnotic, or maybe it was the sum total of Noah that made Lily lose her words or her memory of what she was supposed to be doing. Noah was that guy. The one you can’t stop looking at. The one you can’t help but think about. Thankfully, Lily was beyond that for the most part. She’d spent the last two years training herself to ignore Noah’s beguiling features. She’d had no choice. As her boss, Noah was off-limits. Her job was too important. She was good at it, and even better, Noah and his brother, Sawyer, knew it.
Charlotte turned to Lily and Noah. Her newlywed smile took up nearly all the real estate between her diamond stud earrings. “Thanks for being our witnesses. Michael and I really appreciate it. I don’t know what to say. We just got a wild hair and decided today was the day.”
Michael leaned down and kissed the top of Charlotte’s head. These two were so adorable together it made Lily’s cheeks hurt. It also bruised her heart a little bit. She’d had an impossibly romantic love like that once. Or so she’d thought, but it had slipped right through her fingers, groom and all.
“Happy to do it. Congratulations.” Noah stepped in and kissed his sister on the cheek, then shook Michael’s hand.
Charlotte’s phone rang and she squealed, grabbing Michael’s arm and rushing out into the hall. Probably some famous well-wishers. The Locke family was known for their extensive connections.
“Want to grab a drink? It’s nearly five o’clock. No point in going back to the office.” Noah extended the invitation to Lily as if it were no big deal, as if she were just one of the guys, a role she suspected she would always have in his mind. He and Lily had done a few social things together, and they were always fun, but they filled Lily with pointless notions like hope and left her with sexy dreams, the kind where she’d wake up at 4:00 a.m. drenched in sweat and gasping for air. The sort of dream where you couldn’t bring yourself to open your eyes or get out of bed. You wanted to languish in it forever.
“It’s sweet of you to ask, but I think I’m going to head home, get out of these shoes and maybe do some reading.”
His Temptation, Her Secret Page 18
