by E. M. Abel
“What?” he asked, amused.
“I just love how attentive you are. You’re a true gentleman. I’ve never been treated like a lady before.”
“Really?”
“I usually like the bad boys,” I confessed, before I took a bite of my pizza. “But since you’re not a bad boy anymore, I guess I should try to behave myself.”
After swallowing a bite, I put my pizza down on the plate, and then Jay grabbed my hand, bringing it to his mouth. His eyes locked on mine as he took my index finger and slowly licked the sauce off of it.
Hoooly shit.
“Oh, I can be bad, baby.”
My entire body tingled with that single touch. As I imagined other places where I wanted that tongue to be, I could feel myself tighten between my thighs.
When he was done, I brought the same finger to my mouth, sucking on it, as I held his gaze. His eyes moved down to watch, and his lips slowly lifted into a devilish grin.
I slid my finger out of my mouth. “Good,” I murmured before smiling back.
As I reached down to pick up my pizza again, I looked up at Jay, and he suddenly felt distant. Something was going on behind those deep blue eyes, and I could feel the wall that had just fallen slowly start to build back up. He’s the mystery, not me.
“Now, you’re thinking,” I told him before I took another bite.
His eyes flicked to mine and then down to his shiny gold Rolex. “I want to talk to you about something, but we don’t have enough time right now. I’d rather do it in private,” he explained as he leaned back in his seat.
I swallowed the pizza in my mouth. “Oh, okay.” Hailey’s email quickly returned to my mind.
“Can I pick you up from work today?”
I thought about it, but then I remembered that I still had to talk to Hailey. I wanted to find out what she knew before I had any kind of talk with Jay.
“Can you come by my apartment around six thirty? Hailey’s supposed to come by after work,” I lied, trying to sound casual.
“Okay, six thirty,” he agreed.
The walls were still up. .
We didn’t say much on our walk back to my office. I was nervous about what he wanted to talk about, and I could sense he was, too. When we stopped in front of the glass doors leading into Westwood Printing, Jay grabbed both of my hands, brought them up to his lips, and kissed them. His eyes looked lighter in the sun, and his face was flawless. My mouth started to feel dry, and as I licked my lips, he looked at them, slowly forming a sexy smile.
“Waiting becomes harder each time I see you, Asia. You have to stop teasing me.”
I tried to hide the heat invading my cheeks as I smirked. Letting go of my hands, Jay wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me off the ground, so my face was slightly above his. When I put my arms around his neck, he tilted up his head and kissed me hard.
A sudden rush of desire came over me as I felt the passion in his kiss. As my tongue invaded his mouth, I moved my hands to the back of his head, kissing him back just as hard. I heard a moan escape from deep in his throat, and it snapped me back to reality.
Opening my eyes, I remembered where we were, and I quickly drew my head back, separating us. I felt myself blush again as I saw my desire reflected in his eyes. It felt amazing to be wanted by him. After he put me back on my feet, I steadied myself on my heels and smoothed out my skirt.
Jay leaned toward me, “Well, they should have plenty to talk about now,” he muttered next to my ear.
His breath sent a shiver down my back, covering my body with goose bumps. I smiled brightly at him and then gave him a peck on the cheek.
“See you at six thirty,” I said.
He didn’t respond. He just winked at me before he headed toward his Mercedes parked on the side of the road. I stood there for a few seconds, watching him leave. He walked with confidence, and his shoulders looked broad and strong under his suit. I couldn’t wait to see what he was hiding under all those clothes.
As I turned toward the glass doors, I saw both blondes sitting at their adjacent desks. They swiftly looked down, trying to hide the fact that they had witnessed the entire thing. I giggled to myself, feeling good about the fact that they were jealous of me.
The rest of the workday went faster than usual. After lunch, Nick and I had a meeting with the marketing department, and it took up most of the afternoon. Luckily, it also helped to keep me distracted from the information Hailey had felt was important enough to email me about, and my impending talk with Jay.
After I turned off my computer and straightened up my desk, I said good-bye to Nick and then dialed Hailey’s number.
“Hey, Asia. Sorry I didn’t write you back. Work has been crazy today.”
“It’s okay, but we need to talk. Are you off yet?”
“Yeah, I’m just now leaving. You wanna meet somewhere?”
“Can you come by the apartment? Jay will be there at six thirty to pick me up, so we won’t have much time.”
“Okay, I’m on my way now.”
I started to feel anxious as I grabbed my purse from my desk drawer. I wondered about what she would say. I was afraid it was something that would change everything. I worried she would confirm what I had been thinking ever since the first night Jay and I met—that it was too good to be true.
Instead of walking the five blocks home and since I’d forgotten my flip-flops at work, I decided to take a cab. When I got there, Hailey was just walking up the stairs to the front of my apartment building.
“Hey!” I yelled out of the cab window as I paid the driver.
Hailey turned around and headed back down toward me. She gave me a big hug and a sympathetic look. Whatever it was she had to tell me, it didn’t look good.
As we stepped into my apartment—what had been our apartment—Hailey looked around with a frown.
“You haven’t done anything since I left?” she asked, waving her hands around at our surroundings.
“I will. I just haven’t gotten to it yet. Besides, we aren’t here to discuss my lack of decorations. Spill it, Hailey. What do you know?”
Hailey looked down at my red couch. She sat down on one cushion and patted the seat next to her, inviting me to sit down. I sighed, feeling afraid of what I would hear. I kicked off my heels before taking the seat next to her. I sat with my back to the arm of the couch, so I was facing her.
“So, once John found out that you and Jay were spending more time together, he told me a few things about Jay that he thought you should know.” She paused, watching my face for a reaction.
“Well?” I asked, growing impatient.
“From what John has heard from the guys at the club, Jay, or should I say Jason, is quite a player. He has slept with pretty much every girl in the city…well, every wealthy girl, that is. You do know who his father is, don’t you?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes,” I murmured, staring down at my hands as I fisted them tightly in my lap.
“Well, from what I hear, Jay is in the process of selling his club, and he’s going to take over his dad’s empire. That means all those millions will soon be entering his pockets. Although that isn’t bad news, I just wasn’t sure how you would feel about it. I know what you think about money and suits. But some of the stories John has heard about Jay don’t really match the way he’s acting with you. I just don’t want you to get hurt, Asia. I’m not sure what this guy’s intentions are, and I don’t want the same thing happening…well, like what happened with Marcus.”
“He’s not Marcus,” I snapped back.
I didn’t know why, but I suddenly felt defensive, like I had to protect Jay. She hadn’t really told me anything I didn’t already know.
Hailey seemed taken aback by my tone, and she raised an eyebrow. “Do you already know all of this?”
“Yeah, pretty much. He told me.”
She seemed to relax as she sank into the couch. “So, what’s your take on it?”
“At first, I w
as really insecure. I mean, I hate that old-money shit. People like that usually walk around like they have sticks up their asses, and that is so not me. But Jay isn’t like that either. The way I see it, I’m with him, not his money and not his family.”
“But what if things get serious? Obviously, you would have to learn to live in that world. I mean, he’s working toward becoming the CEO of Clarke Industries.”
I could see the concern on Hailey’s face. I knew she just wanted me to be happy, but her worry seemed to only make me feel worse. Somewhere deep down, I knew she was right. How could things ever work out between us? Could I really change for him? Do I want to? Or does he even want me to change? It was all so confusing.
I threw up my hands in frustration. “You know what? I’m so tired of analyzing everything. I’ve known Jay for like a minute, and here we are, contemplating if I can change for him. We haven’t even had sex yet! The fact is I like him. I really like him, and he likes me. Who knows what will happen from here? I refuse to think it to death. I’m happy when I’m with him. Don’t I deserve that?”
“Of course you do. I’m sorry, girl. I just wanted—”
“I know. Thank you, Hailey. Really. But I’m okay.”
Pride swept over Hailey’s face as she watched me. “You look so grown up, Asia. I barely recognized you when you were in that cab. I just love you, and I don’t want you to lose yourself in all of this. You have so much to offer, and no guy deserves you if he wants to change you. You are perfect just the way you are.”
I smiled as I glanced down at my new clothes. “Thanks.” I stood up and smoothed out my skirt. “Well, you better go. Jay will be here soon.”
Taking the elevator up to his apartment, Jay and I stood in silence. The walls were covered in a dark polished wood, and I could see our reflection in the silver doors in front of us. Dressed like this, I actually looked like I belonged next to him.
I was nervous to find out what Jay wanted to talk about. He seemed tense, and his silence was only making me uneasy.
As we arrived on the top floor of the building, Jay took my hand in his, leading me into a quiet hallway with two white doors. The walls were bright white, and the carpet was a deep crimson. A large crystal chandelier was hanging from the high ceiling, providing a soft light between the two doors. Jay pulled me toward the door on the right as he reached into his pocket for his keys.
When we walked into the apartment, I gasped as I took in my surroundings. The wall opposite us was a floor-to-ceiling window, showing an amazing view of the entire city. To the left was an immaculate kitchen with stainless steel appliances and a black booth and table tucked into the corner. To the right, a black leather couch and two leather chairs faced each other in front of a large marble fireplace that matched the gray-and-white marble floors. Directly in front of us was a long glass dining room table with ten black chairs. A bouquet of red roses was sitting in the middle of the table.
I stood there, taking everything in, my eyes growing wide as my mouth dropped open. I was sure I looked ridiculous, but I had never been in an apartment this beautiful.
Again, I started to feel like we were worlds apart. Jay lived a life of luxury and class, and I…well, I didn’t.
I quickly regained my composure and reminded myself that I wasn’t going to focus on our differences. I would only focus on what we had in common. Taking in a deep breath, I looked at Jay who was making his way to the dining room table. He picked up the roses and brought them to me with a smile.
“For me?” I asked, sounding surprised.
“Of course.”
I took them and inhaled their rich scent as I peered up at Jay, giving him a tight smile. I wished we were just here to spend time together.
As he took my hand and led me to one of the black leather chairs beside his marble fireplace, I couldn’t help but worry about what he would say. I sat down and placed my roses next to me.
“You want something to drink?” he asked as he turned toward the kitchen.
“Sure. I’ll have whatever you’re having.” I smoothed out my skirt and took another deep breath. The anticipation was killing me. I wanted Jay to just tell me what was on his mind.
I glanced over at him in the kitchen. He seemed much more relaxed in his home as he poured two glasses of red wine. As he loosened his tie, I admired how handsome he was in a suit.
He made his way back over to me, and I could see something was weighing heavily on his mind. He stood next to my chair and handed me one of the glasses. As he looked down at me, I could see distance in his eyes like his thoughts were somewhere else.
“Thank you.” I took a sip as I watched him sit on the couch facing me.
After a long sip of his wine, Jay gently placed the glass on the table next to the couch. He took off his jacket and tie and then placed them on the cushion next to him.
I observed him closely, waiting for him to speak. It felt like an eternity had passed before he finally said something.
“I know you’re wondering why I asked you to come here. I have some things that I want to talk to you about in private with no distractions.”
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, as he weaved his hands together. When he met my gaze, he seemed like he was carefully deciding on what to say next. I could feel my breath quicken, and my hands were starting to sweat against the wine glass.
“Please just tell me, Jay. I promise that I’ll listen to everything you have to say before I react,” I said, trying to help calm his nerves.
Inhaling deeply, his shoulders relaxed a little as he looked me in the eye. “It’s important to me that we are honest with each other. Some things have been weighing on my mind, and I want to get them off my chest.”
My body tightened, waiting for a blow. I held me breath, anticipating what he would say next.
“My life is at a crossroads right now, Asia. In the past, I made a lot of mistakes. I was selfish and careless with people’s feelings. It was hard growing up in my father’s shadow, and my way of escaping that shadow was by acting like I didn’t give a shit about what anyone thought. It hurt my parents, and now, I’m trying to make amends. I’ve been trying to change and make things right with them.”
He took in a breath, glancing down at my hands gripping my wine glass, and then he looked up to my eyes again.
“Things were going good, and then I met you. When you were sitting in my office that night at the club, you scared me.” He tilted his head down toward his hands, rubbing his top thumb over the other. “I was so attracted to you, and all my old instincts started to kick in. I wanted to lock the door, throw you over my desk, and have sex with you right there. But I knew if I did, I would just end up pushing you away. I know we’ve only been dating for a short time, but I’m afraid of losing you now. To be completely honest, I was afraid of losing you then.”
He peered up at me, trying to read my expression. I just sat there, trying to soak in what he was telling me, as I kept my promise to wait until he was done. My heart was racing, and his confession only made my desire for him stronger.
“The thing is…I can’t be the man I used to be. Now that I’m taking on my father’s role, I have a reputation I have to uphold, and it’s important to me that I make him proud. I owe it to him.”
Lifting my glass of wine to my dry mouth, I took a slow sip. I still wasn’t sure what he was exactly trying to say.
“I know you said you usually date bad boys, and I don’t want you to waste your time with me if that’s still what you want. You deserve to be happy, and I want to make you happy. I’m just not sure if I can.”
As I studied his deep blue eyes, all my worry instantly went away. Nothing he’d said made me want him any less. It only made me want him more. Keeping my eyes locked on his, I slowly lifted my glass of wine to my lips and took another long sip.
I could feel the alcohol warming my insides, making my inhibitions melt away. I was nervous, but I wanted him. This would be my first time ha
ving sex in seven years, and I knew Jay was experienced. Apparently, he was very experienced, but he didn’t know that I wasn’t. Maybe I could fake it.
I stood up and walked toward him. I placed my glass of wine next to his on the table beside the couch. He leaned back and watched me closely. Taking a few steps, I put myself directly in front of him until our legs were touching.
His eyes left mine as they drifted down to my breasts, my hips, and my thighs before moving back up to meet my eyes. Grabbing the middle of my tank top, I began untucking it from my skirt, and Jay took in a quick breath. I could see his eyes darken as he realized what I was about to do. My heart was racing, but there was no turning back. I wanted Jay to know nothing he’d said had changed my mind.
“I know you can make me happy, Jay. You already have.” I released the pins in my hair, allowing the black locks to fall down my back.
A smile lit up Jay’s face, erasing any sadness or worry.
I was no longer nervous. The way he was gazing at me made me feel sexy and beautiful, and it was exhilarating to give in to my desire. I had been denying myself for what felt like an eternity. It was time for me to give up Marcus’s ghost and move on with my life. This was about more than my feelings for Jay. It was about getting part of me back.
“Besides, I can be bad for the both of us.” I lifted my tank top over my head and dropped it at my feet. At this point, I was thoroughly impressed with myself. I had no idea I had this confidence in me, but it felt great.
As Jay’s eyes moved down to look at my red lace bra, his teeth gripped his bottom lip for a moment before slowly releasing it, leaving it wet. His right hand was gripping the arm of the couch as his eyes met mine again. I could see his pupils were dilated.
Reaching behind me, I found the zipper to my skirt and slowly pulled it down. Without taking my eyes off of Jay, I slipped my thumbs into the waistband and then slid the skirt over my hips. Jay’s eyes followed my movements as the soft material glided down to pool at my feet, revealing my matching red thong.
I stepped out of my skirt and pushed it toward my tank top. I was standing in front of him, wearing nothing but a bra, panties, and my black high heels. My breath began to accelerate, and every cell in my body was tingling, waiting to feel his touch. I wanted so badly to feel his hands on me, to feel his kisses against my skin. I bit my bottom lip, trying to control my breathing, while Jay studied my body with hooded eyes.
