“You look the part.” Andie looked him up and down. “You really look the part.”
Kermit shook his head. “Feels like I’m in shackles.” Then he lifted his new leather briefcase in the air. “Complete with the ball and chain.”
###
Andie and Kermit sat on the park bench, staring at the glass skyscraper across the street. It was narrow, but the top ten floors flared out and curved back into a tip. “Kind of looks like a dude’s ding-a-ling.” Kermit tilted his head to the side, still staring. “The architect definitely took his inspiration from the topography of the lower extremities. Agree?”
Andie looked at it.
“Could be a candle with a flame,” she shrugged. “But probably a ding-a-ling.”
Kermit clapped his hands and laughed.
“Genius.” Then he scanned the skyline. “Although I suppose the same could be said for all the skyscrapers in this city — a hundred or so men lying on their backs with —”
“Let’s stay focused,” Andie interrupted. “Why don’t you make the call?”
Kermit nodded.
“Can do.” He reached into his pocket and removed a cell phone and a torn slip of paper with a phone number written on it.
“Here goes.” He punched in the number. Two rings, and the receptionist answered. “Franklin and Uckley, how may I direct your call?”
“Yeah, this is Uptown Couriers, I need the number for Mr. Benjamin Howe.” Kermit winked at Andie and gave her the thumbs-up.
There was a pause as the receptionist typed the name into the law firm’s electronic directory. Franklin and Uckley had over a thousand attorneys in their New York office and thousands elsewhere in offices around the world.
“I’m sorry, sir. I don’t seem to have that number.”
“Well, he wants me to deliver this thing ASAP.” Kermit pretended he was mad. “And the address Mr. Howe gave me is no good.”
“Well, I’m sorry, sir,” the receptionist said. “I’m afraid I don’t have a Mr. Howe listed in our directory. Are you sure he’s at Franklin and Uckley?”
“He is,” Kermit said. “Now what’s your name, so when I call back I know who to talk to?”
“Helen.”
“Okay, Helen,” Kermit said. “I’ll call back in ten minutes when this gets sorted out.” Kermit punched off the phone. He nodded, proud of himself.
“You get that?”
Andie nodded. “Helen.” She repeated the name, again, and then stood.
Kermit handed the box of documents to her.
“Godspeed, Ms. Larone.”
“Godspeed,” she said back. “Hope this works.”
Andie started walking across the street. When she had made it to the other side, Andie looked up, one last time, at the top of the skyscraper before going inside.
The law firm of Franklin and Uckley occupied the very top floors.
F U
CHAPTER SEVENTY THREE
Andie Larone wore a dark Anne Klein suit, cream blouse and sensible heels. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun. She also wore a pair of small glasses with silver rims. Andie looked serious and educated, as well as thin and attractive. In other words, Andie Larone looked like every other young female associate at the firm.
The only thing that Andie lacked at the moment was confidence and security credentials.
She tried not to bite her nails as she waited in the lobby. Time passed slowly. Andie watched the minute hand of a large silver clock above the security desk move from one notch to the next.
Seven minutes after Kermit’s initial phone call, Andie proceeded to the elevators with the box of documents. If the timing was right, Kermit should be screaming at the receptionist about the same time as she attempted to sneak past.
Andie focused on the job. The elevator shot up to the top floor of the office tower in seconds. Then it was time for the show.
The elevator bell rang. The doors opened, she walked through the large modern reception area without hesitation. Andie saw the flustered receptionist talking on the phone and typing frantically on her keyboard. Andie didn’t know what Kermit was saying, but the receptionist looked like she was in pain. She was trying to apologize, but Kermit seemed to be interrupting her.
There was no direct eye contact. Andie saw a door behind the receptionist. She walked toward it with purpose. She never stopped. Andie acted as if she belonged there.
Then, just a few steps from the door, Andie allowed the box to slip a little in her hands. As she struggled to keep it from falling, Andie said, “Helen, can you please buzz me in?”
Andie had said the receptionist’s name with a sharp tone, like commanding a dog to sit. Then she softened. “My hands are full. I’m sorry. I’m in a hurry.”
Distracted by Kermit’s continued tirade, the receptionist took notice of Andie for the first time.
“Yes. Of course.” After years at the firm, Helen was obedient. She reached a button on the side of the receptionist’s desk and pressed it. It was obvious that the person making the request was an employee, probably an attorney, and to require them to set down the document box and produce identification or swipe a magnetic card would risk the attorney’s wrath.
The door clicked and buzzed. Andie pushed it open.
“Thanks.” Once inside, she didn’t break stride. She kept walking.
Down one hallway and then another, Andie finally stopped. She saw several legal secretaries chatting near a coffee machine.
“Excuse me,” Andie said. “I’m a new associate and I’m supposed to have these documents numbered, scanned, and served. It’s a rush.”
The chubby legal secretary looked at the skinny legal secretary and then back at Andie.
“Of course, dear, it’s always a rush,” she forced a smile. “You’re looking for Legal Support. They’re two floors down.”
“Can you show me where?” Andie looked at a clock on the wall. “I’m afraid I’m just going to get lost again. This place is so big.”
The chubby one set down her coffee mug, and then looked at the skinny one.
“We’ll talk later.” Then to Andie, “Follow me.”
The support staff was there to serve. Whether the person asking was a senior partner or a junior associate, the support staff at Franklin and Uckley were trained in the same manner as the receptionist at the front desk. They knew that they could never say no and to keep their ideas to themselves.
“Just give me the box.”
“No, that’s okay.” Andie wasn’t going to give up the box of papers that Michael had spent months printing.
“Okay,” the assistant said. “I’ll just lead the way. We’re just going down here.”
The assistant pressed her card against the black security panel. The light switched from red to green and the stairwell door unlocked. Then she opened the door for Andie and held it open.
“Thanks,” Andie said. “I really appreciate this. I don’t think Mr. Garvin wanted me to come back to him with a lot of questions.”
The secretary shook her head.
“They never do, sweetheart. They never do.”
###
Kermit assumed that Andie had made it inside. Now it was his turn. He crossed the street, trying to control his inner rhythm, and entered the tower of Franklin and Uckley’s New York office.
He had come up with a rather simple plan, and Andie couldn’t think of one that was any better.
“Simplicity is the key to life.”
Kermit found a fancy wooden bench with a white leather cushion near the elevators in the building’s large open foyer. Kermit walked over to the bench. He unlatched the buckle of his briefcase and removed a copy of the Wall Street Journal, then he pretended to read as he waited for the right group to arrive.
Kermit watched three older businessmen and a token woman enter the building and walk toward the elevators. Kermit didn’t think that was the right combination. They could be clients. They could also be attorneys from another law fir
m. Then Kermit saw two young women. They looked like baby lawyers. They were dressed in the same outfit that Andie Larone had chosen. Each of them sipped some sort of expensive latte or frap-crap. Kermit decided to let the two women pass as well.
As more time passed, he started to get worried, and then Kermit saw them.
They were four young white men. Some were tall. Some were short, but they were all the same. Their hair was cut short. Their clothes were perfect. They walked with a sense of entitlement. They acted as though they had the whole world figured out, even though they were ignorant of the insignificant role they played in it.
Kermit stood, and as the young men passed him, he followed behind. In order to pull this off, Kermit needed to channel his inner douchebag.
They all got on the elevator together. The tall one pressed the button for 61st floor. They obviously hadn’t worked their way up to the top floors of Franklin and Uckley, but they were trying.
When the bell rang, Kermit coughed.
“After you boys.” Kermit’s voice dripped with condescension, putting the younger men in their place was important.
They all turned, noticing him. They scanned Kermit, inspecting his clothes and briefcase. Because of his age and presence in the law firm’s elevator, Kermit was immediately categorized as a senior partner.
The young men walked out. Because the 61st floor was not the firm’s main office, there was not a large and impressive reception area. Instead, there was a small desk staffed by a middle-aged African-American woman to the right and an internal side door for employees to the left.
The young men walked to the left, and Kermit followed behind them. As one of the young men scanned his card, another held the door for Kermit as he walked inside.
“Thank you, boys. Bill this conversation to ‘Admin-Mentorship.’ Point-one hours.”
The four young men laughed. It was unclear, however, whether they actually thought the joke was funny or whether the laughter at a superior’s joke was just something that they were trained to do.
###
After descending two flights of stairs, the chubby legal secretary pushed open the door and led Andie down another hallway to the Legal Support Services room.
“Here you are,” she directed Andie inside. “Monica, sweetie.”
Another woman looked up from a table of binders.
“What is it?”
“Got a new associate with a rush job for Mr. Garvin.” The chubby secretary patted Andie on the shoulder, and pointed at the empty counter.
“Just put your box down there. Monica will take care of you.”
Andie did as she was instructed as her guide disappeared and Monica walked over and picked up the box.
“What’s the project?” Monica brought the box over to the copier and set it down on the floor.
“Mr. Garvin needs those scanned into the system, bates numbered, and then sent over to the U.S. Attorney’s Office right away.”
“By courier?”
Andie nodded.
“Yes.”
“What’s the file number? I need to bill it to somebody. Everything needs to be billed to somebody.”
“Don’t know.” Andie shrugged. “Can we look it up?”
Monica nodded. She walked over to her cluttered desk in the corner of the Legal Support room. Monica sat down, logged on, and pulled up a database.
“What’s the name?”
“Brea Krane,” Andie said. “It’s for that case against Michael Collins.”
“The one in the news?” Monica began to type. “Saw that in the newspaper the other day.” Monica pressed enter, and the screen displayed a list of responses to her query. “Any of these look right?”
Andie looked over Monica’s shoulder.
“The third one down.” Andie pointed. “That’s it.”
“Okay,” Monica jotted down the client number on a small sheet of paper. “I’ll number them, scan the documents into the database for this file, and then courier them over to the U.S. Attorney’s Office. Anybody in particular?”
Andie nodded.
“Yes. Brenda Gadd. They should be sent to the attention of Brenda Gadd.”
“Great.” Monica wrote down the name and title. “Cover letter?”
Andie had hoped that she wouldn’t ask that question.
“No,” Andie said. “Mr. Garvin doesn’t have the time. He says that they’re expecting them.”
“Well,” Monica’s face tensed. “Don’t like sending things without a cover letter. Can’t you just sign it for him?”
Andie’s heart skipped. “I’m new and I really don’t …. um … and Mr. Garvin just wants them out, and he’s traveling.”
Monica looked at the box and then back at Andie. She considered her options.
###
Kermit found an empty office with no name plate on the door. There was a narrow window that ran along the side of the door frame. He closed the blinds so that nobody could see him from the hallway, then Kermit closed and locked the door.
He walked around to the desk. He sat down in the large leather chair and waited. Kermit had been told that if nothing happened in thirty minutes that he should leave. Andie had hoped that they would just take the box and send it, but she wanted him there in case something went wrong.
Kermit sat for a long time staring at the wall. Then his phone vibrated.
He looked up at the clock on the wall, and he knew that something had happened.
Kermit looked back at his vibrating phone. It was a text from Andie. They needed a cover letter and Tad Garvin’s electronic signature inserted into the document.
Kermit sighed. He texted Andie back: HOW
He waited, and then Andie responded back:
FIND LGL SECRETARY
GARVIN HAS ELECTRONIC SIGNATURE IN SYSTEM
SHOULD BE TEMPLATE LTR
EMAIL DOC TO MONICA IN LGL SUP
Finding a woman to bedazzle with his charm was ordinarily a task that Kermit felt confident to perform, but Kermit was off. His energy level was low. His color field was blue. He was naked without his hair. He was weak.
Kermit got up from the big leather chair. He took a step toward the door, but stopped. Kermit instinctively went to touch one of his long dreadlocks for power, but the dreadlocks were gone. Instead, Kermit ran his hand along the top of his bald, shaved head.
Kermit closed his eyes. He thought about the centillion subatomic particles floating around him. He felt their magnetic energy try to enter his body, but unable to find the connection. The dreadlocks were gone. His beard was shaved. He had no way of channeling his power.
But he needed it. Andie needed it. Michael needed it.
Kermit took off his suit jacket. He removed his bow tie. The shackles that had bound him fell away, and Kermit felt a tingle at the base of his spine. He walked over to the door and peeked out the drawn shade. Nobody was around.
Then Kermit turned off the lights. He unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. He kicked off his fancy leather shoes. Then he unfastened his belt, unzipped his pants, and let them drop to the ground. The tingle grew stronger. It worked up his back. He felt the receptors allowing the energy to enter him, but Kermit was still confused as to how it was happening.
The energy propelled him. It was hope. He took off his socks and tight white underwear. Then Kermit was totally naked in the office. He had never felt so alive.
He closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, then swept his arms overhead and crouched into a sun salutation. Kermit performed a series of his favorite yoga positions. From sun salutation, he went into a downward facing dog, then a crescent pose, then to warrior.
Kermit’s breathing became heavier, and he repeated the sequence. Each time through the various poses and contortions, his energy level grew higher. After ten minutes, a film of sweat glistened on his body. His color changed from blue to green to a dazzling yellow.
That was when he realized that he had made an error in focusing only upon his dreadlocks.
His dreadlocks were simply the obvious receptors. He had been distracted by them, and ignored the millions of other tiny receptors on his body.
Kermit spread his arms wide and began spinning.
“Why too much hair down there?”
Terminal and vellus hair populated his entire body.
Why hadn’t he seen it before? Why was he so ashamed? Why limit the power to a beard and dreadlocks? He had tiny hairs, some visible and others clear, all over his body.
Kermit opened himself up. He spun around. He felt his erector pili muscles contract, raising the small hairs higher to bring in heat and power into his soul.
He continued to spin in place, faster and faster, willing the power and energy of Franklin and Uckley to transform around him.
CHAPTER SEVENTY FOUR
The computer dinged. The document arrived in Monica’s email, and Andie felt a wave of relief as Monica opened the attachment.
“Here it is.” They both looked at the letter from Tad Garvin to Brenda Gadd. At the bottom of the letter, there was an image of Garvin’s signature.
Monica clicked print. A letter on thick, expensive paper with the Franklin and Uckley logo rolled out of the laser printer and into the tray. She picked it up, and then turned to Andie.
“Documents are all scanned.” Monica looked at the box. “I’ll just pop this in there and it’ll go out the door.”
Andie smiled. “Thank you.” She shrugged. “Sorry I hung around. Didn’t mean to hover. It’s one of my first big assignments.”
“You ain’t the first one.”
Monica got up and walked toward the box. She took off the lid, put the letter inside, and then sealed the box with packaging tape.
“You want me to e-serve the documents over to Gadd as well?”
Andie thought about it.
“Sure.”
“Well, okay then.” Monica went back to her computer. She logged onto to third-party vendor that provided the law firm with secure e-service capabilities. Monica typed in her code, and then served the documents on Brenda Gadd. The vendor transmitted the documents and kept an electronic record of the time, date, and specific documents that had been transmitted.
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