by Gwen Cole
Then there’s nothing but the wind between us, waiting to take one of us away.
Jeremiah smiles and says, “Now let’s see if you can actually use that gun of yours.”
Instead of watching his hand, I watch his face. Everyone wants to look down at the thing wanting to kill them, but the face is what gives them away first.
Never look at the hands.
His smile fades, and the instant before his hand moves, his eyes twitch, giving him away.
Jeremiah’s pistol is barely raised when his body flinches, the barrel of my revolver pointed at his chest. His eyes become unfocused as blood soaks the front of his shirt, features frozen in shock.
Even though Jeremiah is the sixth person I’ve killed, his death doesn’t do anything to lighten my heart. Each life I’ve ended has taken a piece of me with them.
His body now lies still.
Somewhere above a crow calls out.
I slide my revolver into the holster and turn to face Marshall. He hasn’t moved from the rock he leans against, his rifle still cradled in his arms.
“You know,” he says, “if Jeremiah had actually listened to what Hatch said when he found your gun, he would’ve known you knew how to use it.”
I think back to when Hatch turned it over in his hands, somehow knowing it was mine even when he found it on Durk’s body.
“Are you going to kill me now?” I ask him.
Marshall laughs once and shakes his head. “No, I’m not going to kill you.”
I glance back at Jeremiah, confused. “Are you going to take me back then?”
Marshall pushes off the rock, a smile etching his face. “I’m not going to do anything.”
He slides the rifle back in its saddle holster and slides the reins over the horse’s head.
“After all this, you’re letting me go?” It sounds too good to be real. “What about the Sheriff?”
Marshall shrugs. “I guess he’ll figure out what happened when we don’t come back.” He untethers Jeremiah’s horse and mounts his own, hanging on to the reins with one hand. “So if I were you, I’d disappear as quick as you can. He isn’t a man to forget anything.”
“You aren’t going back?”
He shakes his head, and I notice the white armband is missing from his bicep.
“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, and everything that’s happened within the last few days made me realize that I’ve already made up my mind. I just needed someone to push me.”
“Where are you going to go?”
Marshall glances around, over my shoulder where the land opens up. Dust blows and the horizon is gray, giving nothing away to what lies behind. When he returns his gaze, he says, “I don’t know. Maybe south, to see if the rumors are true.”
“Well wherever it is,” I tell him, “take care of yourself.”
Marshall nods. “You too. And if I ever see you again, make sure you don’t need me to fix you up.” He kicks his horse and rides past me, Jeremiah’s horse trailing after him. Before he gets too far, he turns in his saddle and half yells, “What’s your name?”
I step forward and yell, “Seph.”
Marshall smiles one last time and puts his fingers to his forehead, like he would tip his hat to me even though I’ve never seen him wear one.
I watch him ride off, the crow overhead curiously following him. After he’s out of view, it hits me that I’m free again—after days behind bars and metal around my wrists. I never want that again. I will never again take my freedom for granted.
The horse Marshall left me flicks its tail and stares. I don’t want to ride another horse besides Cade—even if that means walking a few days to find him—so I untie his reins, point him toward Kev, and slap his hindquarters. I don’t look at Jeremiah’s body as I head south, toward the road where I last saw my only friend.
Clouds roll by and the wind kicks up. It’s not long before I come to a river, a little low with the dry week. At the bank, I loosen the laces and slip my feet from my boots. I roll up my jeans to my knees and wade in, taking a moment because I’m not sure how long it’s going to last.
Even when I was a child, I loved the water. Any lakes or rivers we would pass by, my father—Dad, I have to remember to call him—always made time for me to wade or swim, depending on the day. Some were freezing cold, but I didn’t care. It was all the same to me. Sometimes I would float there and pretend I was lying on the deck of a ship somewhere. Riding the ocean to wherever it wanted to take me …
Someone clears their throat behind me and my hand moves for my gun before I remember I don’t have any rounds left. Jeremiah only gave me one. My feet are cold in the water and I realize I don’t know how long I’ve been standing here, my mind far enough to not even hear anyone approach.
Taking a deep breath, I turn to see the barrel of my own gun. The lever-action I left with Cade.
And the one holding it is the girl I met on the way here.
Avery. Freckles under narrowed eyes, hair braided back. She’s a hard one to forget, even for me.
She recognizes me the same moment but doesn’t lower the weapon. When I see her eyes again, I realize who Finn reminded me of. It was her—he’s the brother she’s looking for.
“You,” she states.
I nod toward her. “That’s my gun, so if you don’t mind, could you lower it?”
She thinks about it and backs away, allowing me to come out of the water with the barrel of the gun pointed at the ground. I don’t want to make my boots wet, so I just stand there.
Avery looks at me a long time before deciding to ask, “Did they let you go?”
“Not exactly.” I can’t stop looking at my rifle, wondering where she found it and if Cade is all right. “The Sheriff planned to have me killed, but as you can see—” I tilt my head and point to it, “—I’m still alive.”
“And are you going to tell me why I shouldn’t finish the job?”
“I will if you tell me where you got that gun.” She glances down, a thousand questions in her mind. I tell her, “Look, I’m not going to hurt you, you have my word. But it seems to me we may be on the same side.”
“And how do you figure that?”
“Because while I was in their prison, I met your brother.”
Avery steps forward, everything else forgotten. “Don’t you dare give me lies to get me to trust you. I told you I was looking for my brother, but that doesn’t give you the right to—”
“His name is Finn, right?” She doesn’t say anything, her mouth still half open. “I’m pretty sure you didn’t tell me that.” Then I remember something from the first night in the cell with him. “He has this small wooden horse he carries around in his pocket. Is that good enough for you?”
Everything about her drops and she bites her lip like she’s holding something in. “Is he—is he all right?”
The first night I saw him, I wouldn’t say he was all right, but I decide not to tell her that bit. “Yeah, he was the last time I saw him.”
Avery nods and looks away. “Come on,” she says. “We shouldn’t stay here. It’s not safe.”
“And where we’re going is?”
She starts walking and yells back, “It’s better than here.”
After I’ve laced up my boots again, I have to run to catch up with her. We continue up the rise following a narrow path. When we come to the top, where the path goes between two rock faces, I follow her into a hidden campsite.
Movement catches my eye and then I see nothing but Cade trotting toward me—his gait high and his neck arched. Just seeing him makes my heart lighter. He presses his head to my chest and I bury my face into his mane. I know he’s not human, but he’s the only friend I’ve ever had. And after everything, it’s hard to believe he’s here.
With Cade nibbling my shoulder, I turn to see Avery staring. “Thank you,” I say. I don’t need to explain why, because we both know horses can’t live on their own in the Wild, and most people would’ve sold h
im by now.
Avery nods and walks over to my saddle to replace my rifle. She looks down at the saddlebags and back at me. “I didn’t take anything,” she says, and then explains nodding to the rifle, “I wanted to use something long range for when I went out.” I nod and she comes closer, stopping on the other side of Cade, putting her hand on his nose. “It took a long time before he let me come close enough to unsaddle him.”
“And because he did, it means he trusts you.”
“What’s his name?” she asks.
“Cade.”
For some reason, she smiles at that. “It suits him. How long have you had him?”
“Since he was small—barely taller than me. It was a brighter day than normal, so bright that people were looking up at the sky when I came into town even though there was nothing to see. There was a sign on a barn saying there was a horse for sale, and when I finally tracked down the man selling him, it’s like he couldn’t believe someone finally showed up.” Without even meaning to, I smile wide, unable not to for such a good memory. “When he went to show me Cade, he bit the man right in the ass. I got him so cheap because nobody wanted him. They called him ‘the little devil horse.’”
Avery laughs and Cade nibbles at her hair. “I can’t thank you enough,” I tell her. “You and your brother are some of the few people to show me kindness.”
“You’re lucky you found that many. Especially in Kev.”
“So where you’re from the people are kinder?”
Something changes and her smile fades. “Maybe at one time,” she says.
I hesitate before saying, “I think we were all kind once, but it’s hard to be when the rest of the world is not.”
Cade lifts his head toward the east and Avery follows his gaze and takes off. I follow her up a steep path and crawl to the edge to see Kev laid out before us. Its gates are open, letting out dozens of Lawmen riders. Each squad goes in a different direction on the search for something, or someone. For me.
He warned me and I didn’t listen to him.
“Who warned you of what?”
I look over, not realizing I had spoken aloud. I go back to watching the riders down below, everything inside me itching to run away. “The man who let me live. He said the Sheriff would be coming for me the moment he found out I survived. I wasn’t fast enough.”
I turn away, back down the hill to Cade, and after a little while, Avery follows me. “They won’t find you here,” she says. “Stay until morning. At least until then you’ll be able to leave without being seen.”
Everything in me wants to go. To get away from this place as fast as Cade can take us. But she’s right. If I go now, there’s a high chance of me being seen. I look up at the sky, glad I’m beneath it, and give her nod. “I’ll stay.”
16.
Avery
We settle into a deep silence, tending to our own horses, and I move the remaining wood to the fire pit. It’ll be cold and dark in a few hours. Occasionally, I sneak glances at Seph, but he doesn’t seem to ever notice. Always in his own head, it seems. He goes through his things, packing away his saddlebags so he’s ready to leave tomorrow. He reloads the revolver at his hip and takes out the baseball cap. He rubs his thumb down the bill before putting it on. His dark hair pokes out from the sides, curling toward his face.
When he finally glances over, I look away. I want to ask him about Finn again but I’m not sure how to start. Evening comes fast and I start a fire, cooking a few potatoes Margaret gave me on the hot rocks next to it. I sit across from where he’s settled on a rock. The wind teases his hair across his forehead, his green eyes steady. It makes the moment more real when I realize I don’t even know him … and even more so because by tomorrow, I’ll probably never see him again. So many people come into our lives just to leave again.
Again, I glance at Seph. I can’t let my guard down with him, especially with prisoners or boys with colored eyes, but I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to resist. I’m more than curious about him, so maybe if I tell him things, he’ll return the favor.
“My brother,” I start and he looks up. “Do you have any idea what they plan to do with him?”
“Sorry, no. I was only with him less than a day until they moved me somewhere else.”
“But he was well?” I stare hard without even meaning to, hanging on his every word.
Seph nods. “As well as can be. Is that what you’re doing out here—waiting to see him?”
“I have a friend who is good at getting information,” I explain, “so I’m waiting to hear from her.” Then I continue, not knowing why. “The Lawmen took Finn when they had no right, and they would’ve taken me too if he hadn’t stopped them.”
Seph doesn’t think long before he asks, “Why?”
“Because that’s who they are,” I tell him, keeping my thoughts off his eyes and everything that comes with them. “Our town makes money by selling coal to Kev as it always has, but somewhere over time, it became a requirement. And this month was the first time we’ve come up short.” I can still see Finn leaning against the wall, waiting for them to come and knowing nothing good would come of it. I’ve wished that day over so many times. “There’s a man who comes every time to collect what we have, making sure it’s enough and that we don’t give them trouble.”
Something changes in Seph’s eyes, like he knows who I’m talking about. But he doesn’t stop me, so I continue. “So this time, when we didn’t have enough coal for them, he decided to take another form of payment.”
“He took people,” Seph finishes.
I nod. “Finn wasn’t one of the few they chose because he was near the back, but when they took one of our friends, he stepped forward to take his place. I guess it’s my fault, really. I drew attention to myself, and when the orders came to take me along with them, Finn fought them, giving me enough time to escape.”
Seph nods like it all makes sense now.
“What?”
He shakes his head. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s obviously something.”
“It’s just … the first time I saw you, I couldn’t figure you out.”
“And that’s something you can usually do?” I ask. “Figure people out?”
“Almost always,” he nods. “But with you, there were things that didn’t add up. You were riding a horse that was yours, but neither the saddle nor the rifle was. You weren’t from the Wild, but you were there anyway.” He puts his hand out, gesturing to me. “Now it makes sense.”
I lean forward, curious. “Do you have me figured out now?”
Seph nods. “You left in a hurry, only escaping with your life and your horse.” The smallest of smiles shows along his lips. “And then the Wild got to you. Somewhere along the way, you found a saddle and gun, knowing you needed one to survive. The gang chasing you before the Lawmen came was just bad luck.” His eyes don’t waver from mine. “And you distanced yourself from the soldiers, because even though they had no idea who you were yet, it was only a matter of time. But you decided to travel with us anyway, because everything comes back to what brought you there in the first place.”
“And what’s that?”
“The Wild.” Seph looks past me, into the dark and wherever lies behind. “When it gets to people, they change. Did you sleep the first night?”
I decide not to answer. “I thought you said you had me all figured out.”
His eyes dance with amusement. “You did sleep … only because you had your horse, but not very well. And from what interactions I’ve seen, you are as close with him as I am with Cade.”
I lean back, actually impressed. How he knows the saddle and gun aren’t mine is beyond me. “You got one thing wrong, though,” I tell him.
He looks up, surprised. “And what’s that?”
“I didn’t find the saddle and gun. I stole them.”
Seph thinks about it. “Are you sure I didn’t say steal?”
“Yes.”
“Hmm.�
��
“That’s pretty impressive, though.”
He nods once in my direction. We eat our potatoes with some salt from Seph’s saddlebags and the night becomes black around us. Without the fire, I would see my breath. Unlike me, Seph doesn’t wear a coat—only his white shirt, the sleeves pushed up to his forearms. The cold doesn’t appear to bother him.
“Now that you know my story, it’s only fair you tell me yours.”
“Who said anything about being fair?” I can’t tell if he’s serious or not, but he stares at me so long I have to look away. “Nothing in the Wild is fair, but I do pay my debts.” To my surprise, Seph gets up and moves to sit next to me. He smells like horse and smoke—intoxicating because those are the smells I grew up with.
“You don’t owe me anything,” I tell him.
“That’s not true—we both know it.”
I look at Cade and Jack, their bodies close to ward off the cold. I’m not sure what I would have done with Cade if Seph never showed up, but I wouldn’t have sold him.
“What do you want to know?”
“Why did the Lawmen arrest you?”
His elbows settle on his knees, his face half-turned to me. “I ran into a gang north of here and had a bit of trouble with them. Actually, a lot of trouble—more than I usually do. They were about to kill me when the Lawmen showed up. But when they caught sight of my wrist, instead of letting me go, I guess they decided I was worth taking with them.”
“Jeremiah said you killed a man.”
“I didn’t that day,” he says, making me even more curious about him than before. “The gang killed one of their own, and when the Lawmen showed up, they blamed the death on me. Then the Sheriff decided he wanted to kill me because I’m wearing this,” he holds up his wrist, showing me the red cloth. “I’m not sure what it meant to my father, but around here, it’s obviously not something to wear.”
Seph is lucky to be alive. Countless times, I’ve rode into Kev only to find they killed another person who wears the red. I wonder how far the Sheriff will go to find him.