ooooooooo
The next morning, I decided to go for a run to ease the tension in my body. Sam didn’t open on Sundays, so I had the day off. My classes were still pretty light, so there wasn’t much studying for me to do, but my brain just wouldn’t relax. Ever since the night before, I’d been playing over in my mind all the possibilities that could happen if Jen talked to Dani. I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to for the simple fact that I knew it was going to upset her to relive everything that happened, and for what? Would Dani even listen to her? Would it change anything for us?
When I got back to the apartment, I stripped off my sweaty shirt and began mixing up a protein shake. Jen shuffled into the kitchen in jeans and a long sleeved tee. She smiled tightly at me before reaching around me for her keys. “Where are you off to so early?” I crinkled my brow at her in confusion. Jen never got up this early, especially on a Sunday.
“I’m getting coffee,” she murmured as she slipped past me.
“Where? We have coffee right here,” I motioned behind me.
Jen sighed as she shook her head at me. “There’s a coffee shop right down the street from the bar. I’m going there to do your bidding. You owe me… BIG TIME.”
I swallowed, “You’re meeting Dani?”
“That’s the plan. I asked her to meet me there. I don’t know if she’ll show,” she sighed as she opened the door. “See you later,” she closed the door, leaving me there stunned.
I shook my head as I began pacing the apartment. I had no idea what would transpire today, or how Dani would react. Would she even listen to Jenni? Would she believe that I’d changed? Would she even give me a chance after this? I growled as I yanked my shirt back on. I wasn’t tired enough yet to be able to stop the thoughts running through my mind. I opened the door, and stormed out, heading for the stairs. I needed to put a couple of more miles in if I had any chance of relaxing at all today.
ooooooooo
Danielle
I don’t know why I came. I must have asked myself that question at least a thousand times as I dressed myself this morning. I didn’t sleep worth shit the night before, and I’ve been tapping my foot nervously since I sat down. It was Jen, though. She didn’t deserve my wrath. I wasn’t sure how much she knew about what happened between Mason and me, after all she was only fourteen when it happened. An innocent freshman who thought her senior football star brother hung the moon.
After ordering my caramel coffee, I picked a table in the back corner of the coffee shop. It gave me a perfect view of the door, and if Mason happened to be with her, I’d be able to see them before they saw me. I didn’t think Jen would ambush me like that, but after the crap Mason’s been pulling lately, I wouldn’t put it past him.
I’m not sure how long I sat there. I was able to finish my first coffee, and was now on my second. I was beginning to wonder if Jen stood me up, or if I had the time wrong. I was just getting ready to say screw it when she came through the door. Her brown hair was shorter now, and she was dressed like it was actually cold outside, but I’d know those eyes anywhere. She spotted me not long after I spotted her, and gave a small wave. She motioned to the counter, indicating that she was going to get a drink before coming over.
I sat there spinning my cup between my hands as I waited. I thought I’d feel anger or something towards Jen. She was Mason’s sister after all, but I didn’t. We’d kinda been friends when I was hanging out with him. I’d offered whatever advice I could about her boyfriend, Darrin, back then. It wasn’t much, but it bonded us.
“Hi,” her voice was soft as she pulled the chair across from me out and lowered herself into it. “I’m glad you came.”
“It took me a lot of convincing to do it actually. I’m not sure why you want to talk to me,” I shrugged. I was trying to not snap at her, but I couldn’t help it. Residual anger towards Mason was seeping out.
“I really didn’t want to come either, but you need to know something, and the phone isn’t the way to do it,” she blew out a deep breath.
“If you’re going to try and convince me to forgive him, it’s not going to work,” I muttered as I lifted my coffee cup to my lips.
“I’m here to tell you I understand,” her eyes softened and I watched her tug at her sleeves. “More than you think,” she closed her eyes as if she was trying to gather courage to tell me something. She took several deep breaths before opening her eyes to stare right into mine. “It happened to me too.”
Chapter 16
Danielle
“What?” I sat there stunned by the words that fell from her lips.
“It was a long time ago,” she mumbled “but I think about it every day. Sometimes more than I should.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered and blinked a few times to keep the tears that were forming at bay. She looked so broken and lost, and I couldn’t imagine how Mason had let this happen. “Does Mason know?”
She nodded as she tugged at her sleeves again, “That’s why I came. He knew I’d understand what you were going through, and you need to hear what happened.”
“You don’t have to tell me,” I glanced away, sighing.
“Yes I do. He loved you,” her voice became firmer. “He didn’t know then, but he loved you. You were the first, for him anyway,” she waved her hand in the air. “I never saw my brother look at a girl the way he looked at you. He was a different person when you were around. You changed him, for the better.”
“I don’t believe that,” I mumbled.
“It’s the truth. When you were in his life, he smiled more. The pressures of everyday life didn’t seem to bother him as much, and his asshole friends didn’t come around like they did before. After you,” she swallowed before glancing down at the table, “it all went back. That’s when it happened.”
I don’t know what made me do it, but hearing the sadness in her voice made me want to comfort her. I reached across the table and placed my hand over hers. She flinched and sucked in a breath before swallowing and averting her eyes from mine.
“Do you remember Brad Carter?” she continued to look away so I murmured the affirmative instead of nodding. I didn’t want to talk about Brad. I hated that asshole. I hated him even more when I found out it was his bet that landed me in my situation. “He has a little brother, Nate. They thought it would be great if their little bet became a senior tradition,” she shook her head as she pulled her hand away from mine. She sipped her coffee, and then wrapped her arms tighter around herself. “Dani,” she looked up at me and a single tear fell from the corner of her eye. “Nate was on the football team. He was in the same grade as me,” she smiled sadly. “Everyone wanted to date him, but he really didn’t do the girlfriend thing so when he started asking me out, I was flattered. I couldn’t believe that someone like him actually liked me like that. I mean, I was pretty, but not pretty like the girls I’d seen him with,” she sniffed and shook her head.
“I told Mase about it since he was friends with Brad. I asked him if he thought I should go out with Nate. He was only home a few times since he was in college. He kinda shrugged me off, so I figured it couldn’t be too bad. I mean he was Brad’s little brother, and Brad was one of my brother’s best friends. Darrin and I had broken up not long before this started. I’d been with Darrin for two years. I’d loved him, and he broke my heart. I think Nate used that to his advantage,” she grumbled.
“Oh Jen. I’m sorry,” I knew exactly what she was talking about. I’d done the same thing with Mason. I had questioned his desire to go out with me, but the more time we’d spent together, the more it made sense.
She nodded a few times as if she was gathering her thoughts before looking back at me. “I finally gave in and went out with him. He was sweet, attentive, he didn’t even try to kiss me on our first date. We went out a couple of times before the subject of sex came up. I was a virgin. It was part of the reason Darrin and I broke up. He’d pressured me for the last several months, but I’d held fast on my refusal. I alway
s thought I’d wait. By the time Nate started in on it, I began asking myself why I was waiting. I mean, he was hot, he liked me, and I liked him. I started reevaluating my beliefs. I even called Mase, hoping that he’d yell at me and tell me I was stupid, and he’d beat the guy’s ass,” she chuckled humorlessly. “He didn’t even take my call. He was out with friends.”
“I finally gave in. It was Homecoming, and all of us were going as a group. Nate had gotten us a room, and swore that we didn’t have to do anything that I didn’t want to. I honestly didn’t know what I wanted out of that night. When we got to the dance, I saw Darrin over in a corner talking to someone. It took me most of the night, but I figured out it was Michelle,” Jen’s face contorted in disgust. “She’d been after him for as long as I could remember, and when I saw her hand grabbing his dick and his tongue in her throat, I pretty much made up my mind. I told Nate we could use the room, but we didn’t get that far,” she paused as she took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes.
“Nate grabbed my hand and practically dragged me out to his car. He’d driven Brad’s Explorer that night, and unbeknownst to me, had folded the back seats down. He stopped by the back door, shoved me into the side, and practically attacked me. I was so hurt and angry at Darrin that I didn’t stop him. He groped and squeezed my body before opening the back door, and practically shoving me inside.”
“He climbed in and on top of me, barely giving me time to react before he had his pants around his ankles and my dress shoved up around my waist. He knew I was a virgin. He knew I wasn’t physically ready for his invasion, but he didn’t care. All he thought about was the fact that he was getting what he wanted,” she sniffed and wiped at her eyes before continuing on. “He slammed into me, causing me to cry out in pain. I begged him to stop. Pleaded with him to slow down. I told him it hurt, but he just told me to be quiet and enjoy the fact that I was getting fucked by a football player. I remember being shocked that this guy that was so sweet to me had turned into a monster so quickly. After that, I just closed my eyes and waited for it to be over.”
“When he finished, he drove me home. He didn’t even get out of the car to walk me to the door. I remember standing there in the dark fumbling to get my keys in the lock. I remember rushing up the stairs. I remember ripping my dress from my body. I felt used, and dirty. I stood in the shower that night until the hot water ran cold,” by this point tears were streaming down Jen’s face.
“I’m so sorry,” I murmured. I didn’t really know what else to say. “You don’t have to tell me all this.”
“Yes I do,” she swallowed. “The next week when I went back to school, everyone was staring at me. I couldn’t figure out why. I kept looking at myself in the mirror. I wondered if they could tell I had sex that weekend. I didn’t think I looked different, but every time I passed by a group of people, they would point and whisper. By lunchtime I found out why. Nate and his friends were sitting together at their usual table. They were high fiving each other, and laughing like he was the funniest person they knew. He winked at me a few times, but I ignored him. I didn’t know how to process what I was feeling. He hadn’t forced himself on me, but it felt that way. I felt used and dirty. I was the butt of some joke that was going around, but I didn’t know what. Finally, Michelle came over. I look back now and I think she probably enjoyed the moment, but she was a bitch so,” Jen shrugged and didn’t finish the thought.
“She smiled at her phone before turning it around so I could see it. I remember the way my stomach twisted when I stared at my image on the screen. I don’t know who filmed it, but there on her phone was a video of me on my back with Nate on top of me. The sound of my pleading and begging was covered with some moaning that they’d dubbed over with. You couldn’t actually see where we were joined, but it showed enough for people to know what we were doing. Below it was the caption, “Pipe Masters do it again. Another virgin bites the dust.”
“Oh my god,” I gasped as I watched her. I hadn’t noticed until now how small Jen seemed. She was like a shell of her former self. When I’d met her she was a bubbly fourteen-year-old. She always had something snarky to say, and put Mason in his place more than once in front of me. Now it was like watching a totally different person. She seemed afraid of her own shadow. She kept herself closed off. The once happy and vibrant girl was no longer there, and in its place was this one.
“Mason’s the one that helped me get through it all,” she glanced up at me. “It got a lot worse before it got better.” She closed her eyes again as if preparing herself for what she would do next. I watched with sorrow filled eyes as she slowly pulled up the sleeves to her shirt. She’d been tugging them down since she got here. “He found me the night I did this,” she turned her arms over to expose the jagged scars that adorned both wrists. “I’d listened to the taunting at school for a month before I couldn’t take it anymore. Everywhere I went students were calling me easy, a slut, asking if I’d give them a go. I found notes on my locker, on my car, texts from people I didn’t know. My email blew up, Facebook requests poured in. There were even people tweeting the video. I couldn’t escape it, and no one seemed to care what they were doing to me. One night I just decided that this was the only way to escape. I didn’t know Mason was coming home. He found me on the floor in my room. He saved me,” she sniffed as she tugged her sleeves back down. “I told him what happened. I watched his face when he realized that he’d done the same thing. I saw him put all the pieces together that night when we sat in my hospital room. I don’t think the impact of what their little bet did hit him until he watched me deal with the aftermath. I watched him change that night,” her eyes met mine before she continued. “You have to see he’s not the same person he was back then. He left my room that night, and came back the next day looking like he’d gone ten rounds with a brick wall. He doesn’t talk about it, but he doesn’t hang out with any of those guys anymore. He changed his whole life for me,” she smiled a sad smile.
“He gave up his scholarship. He moved out of the dorms. After our parents died, he let me move in with him. He’s there every day reassuring me that I’ll be ok, and not every guy is an asshole. Nate broke me. He made me fear being alone outside of my own home. I don’t go out except to school. I don’t date. I don’t have friends. Mason’s trying to fix that.” She stood and began gathering her purse as I sat there staring blindly at the table top. I wasn’t sure what to do with this information. How do you respond to that?
“I don’t know what to say,” I watched her push her chair under the table, and toss her cup in the trash.
“You don’t have to say anything. It felt good to tell someone. You and Mason are the only ones I’ve told. Talk to Mase. Let him apologize. He loved you. At least you have that, I didn’t.” She turned and before I could say anything, she’d slipped out the door.
I don’t know how long I sat there just thinking. I couldn’t believe she’d told me all that. We weren’t like best friends or anything, although sometimes it’s easier to tell someone you’re not close to some of your darkest secrets.
Against my better judgment I texted him. I knew it was stupid. I was setting myself up for pain and heartbreak. I had a great guy who was interested in me and planning to take me out next weekend, but I needed to know if Mason and I had a chance. I needed to know that I tried, and hear first-hand how he changed. I pulled my phone out and fired off a quick text.
Riverside Park. Today 3:30. It’s your only chance to talk.
I stuffed the phone back in my purse, and stood to leave, knowing that I was probably going to regret what I’d just done. I always had a weakness for Mason, and Jen had just unknowingly opened all those old wounds that I’d worked so hard to stitch up.
Chapter 17
Mason
When I came back from my run I was so tired I could barely climb the stairs. I entered an empty apartment, and trudged to the bathroom. I needed a shower, and I wanted to get cleaned up before Jenni got back home. I stripped my cl
othes off and stared at my reflection in the mirror. The man I saw staring back at me looked like he’d been beaten into submission. I was at the point of giving up. Dani had pushed me so far away that I wasn’t sure I’d ever get her to see me as anything more than a jerk from her past. Knowing that my stupid ego had done this to us had been eating away at me for years. I’d forgotten how bad it hurt to do what I did until I felt her lips on mine the night before.
I shook my head as I frowned at myself before stepping into the shower. The warm water felt heavenly on my tired body, and as I lifted my arms to wash my hair, I thought back to the day I’d screwed it all up.
Brad had hounded me all morning about my night with Dani. He’d told me that if I didn’t break things off, he’d tell her about the bet. I’d wrestled with the idea of calling his bluff, but decided that her hearing it from him would be worse than coming from me. I was such a stupid fucker back then.
I rinsed off and stepped out of the shower just as I heard the door to the apartment slam. Jen must have come home, and part of me wanted to rush out there and pepper her with questions. I knew talking was hard for her though, and decided to quell my curiosity. I rubbed a towel over my hair to dry it, and slipped on a pair sweatpants before heading out to the kitchen.
When I rounded the corner, I heard my phone buzz on the counter. I glanced at Jen, who was heading for her room, and she shrugged as she kept walking. Her shoulders were slumped, and her head bowed away from me. I rushed over to my phone and lifted it with trembling hands. Dani’s name was lit up across the top. I clicked on the text, and the breath whooshed out of me.
Riverside Park. 3:30. it’s your only chance to talk.
I almost dropped the phone as I stared at it. Finally, my brain caught up to what was happening and my eyes jumped between the clock, to Jenni’s closed door, to my attire. I still had two hours before I had to meet her. Jen was locked in her room, and I knew I needed to talk to her. Find out what she said, and pretty much promise to do anything she wanted as a thanks. I had to get dressed too. I needed to show Dani that I was different. I needed her to remember how it felt to be with me, but show her the real me not the one she thinks I am.
Say You Remember: book 4 in The Witness Series Page 13
