As Mason went back to work, my phone buzzed. I pulled it out of my purse to see Jeff’s number flash across the screen. The anger from the night before came rushing back as visions of his arm around Lena flew to the forefront of my mind. I couldn’t understand why he would lie to me. Why would he be with her? She was so much younger than all of us.
“You ok?” Jen’s voice brought me out of my haze.
“Yeah,” I nodded as I clicked ignore.
In the next few minutes Mason called us all over to the table. He’d plated an omelet for each one of us, and they looked delicious. He smiled when I sat down and complimented him. “Juice?” he handed me a cup as I nodded, and then handed me a napkin before we all dug in.
“This is really good,” I mumbled around a mouthful of egg.
“Told you I make a killer omelet,” he grinned with pride.
“You’re good at a lot of things,” I muttered as I sipped my juice. Mason’s fork clattered against his plate as he dropped it, but he didn’t utter a word. Jen coughed, and Mason smacked her back before he shoved back from the table to get himself a refill of coffee.
“So, what are your plans for the day?” Jen smiled at me.
“I don’t really have any. Sundays are my day off. I was supposed to hang out with Jeff,” I paused as I shrugged. I wasn’t sure what Jeff and I were at the moment, and I didn’t know if I really wanted to get into that.
“You can hang out here,” Mason’s expression held what appeared to be hope as I sipped my juice.
“I really can’t,” I sighed. I didn’t want to give Mason the idea that we were together. We weren’t. He’d been sweet to me the night before, and this morning, but I was still on the fence as to where our relationship was. I didn’t know if I could ever be anything more than a friend, and after what happened last night with Jeff, I really didn’t want to jump from one guy to the next.
“He came by last night,” Mason sighed. I could tell he was wrestling with the idea of telling me, and thought I’d probably be mad at the fact that he held that little piece of information back. “I made him leave,” he shrugged. “I didn’t think you were in any shape to talk to him anyway.”
“Maybe,” I nodded as I let my mind drift yet again. I needed to talk to Jeff, but at the same time I was afraid of what I’d hear. He must have known right then that I was thinking about him, because my phone buzzed again. I sighed as I clicked ignore, and pushed my plate away.
“What’s wrong?” Mason’s voice held a slight panic.
“I need to get home,” I murmured as I stood from the table. “Thanks for breakfast.”
“Dani, wait!” Mason stood. “You need a ride home. I drove, remember?”
I shook my head in frustration as I stood at his door waiting. He was right. I’d be catching a cab unless I let him drive me. “Well, I’d like to leave now, please,” I crossed my arms over my chest and watched as a resigned Mason stood to get his shoes and keys.
“Come on,” he opened the door and stared at me with pain in his eyes. It was like he knew he couldn’t convince me to stay, but he didn’t want me to leave. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he called to Jen as he ushered me out the door.
ooooooooo
It didn’t take long to get back to my building, and when Mason stopped in front of the door, I practically bolted out of the car. I waved, and shouted a ‘thank you’ before leaving him there sitting in his car. At first I thought he might try to stop me, but all he offered was a wave before he drove off.
I decided to take the stairs up to my place, and when I pushed through the door to the hallway I felt my stomach drop. There sitting on the floor in front of my door was Jeff. I sucked in a breath and debated whether I should turn around or not. If I was quiet enough I could probably get back downstairs and to my car. The door squeaked as it closed behind me though, causing his head to jerk in my direction.
“Hey,” he called, slightly panicked as he pushed his lean body to a standing position. He ran his hands through his hair, and then stuffed them in his pockets.
“What are you doing here?” I narrowed my eyes on him.
“I need to talk to you,” he kicked at the ground before shaking his head and mumbling something that I couldn’t make out.
“Well, I don’t want to talk to you,” I snapped. “I thought that was obvious when I ignored your calls this morning.” I began marching toward my door with my keys firmly in my hand. I wanted to get inside and away from him.
“You don’t understand,” he began but I held my hand up to silence him.
“I know what I saw. You were with her. You were smiling at her like you usually do to me. You were touching her like you touch me. Are you sleeping with her too? I mean, I know we’re not, but now at least I know why you don’t care,” I waved my hands in the air. I could feel the tears coming, but I sucked in a deep breath to keep them at bay. “You told me,” I pointed at my chest, “that you were working. You lied to me,” I pushed at his shoulder to get past him and to my door. “What else have you been lying about?” I finally got the keys into the lock, and forced the door open.
“Danielle,” he sighed as he placed his hands on the doorjamb and leaned in slightly. “I was working. I’m not lying to you.”
“Then what were you doing?” I tapped my foot as I glared at him.
“I can’t tell you that. It’s an ongoing investigation. I’ve been working on this since before I met you. I can’t tell you what it’s about, or who’s involved. You just have to trust me.”
“And what if I don’t?” I glared up at him. He looked annoyed by this point, and I could clearly read the frustration on his face.
“You have to. It’s the only way this will work. I can’t tell you everything about my job. There are times when you’re just gonna have to trust me. If you can’t do that, then we can’t be together,” he shrugged.
“Just like that?” I scoffed.
“Are you really gonna walk away because of last night?” he pushed off the frame and gripped the back of his neck. “I thought we were building something real. I thought this was going somewhere.”
“I can’t be with someone who isn’t honest with me,” I shook my head and stared at the floor.
“I didn’t lie. I WAS working,” he growled as he threw his head back in exasperation.
“I’m sorry, Jeff,” I started to close the door, and I watched him shake his head at me.
“I’m sorry too. Bye, Danielle,” his voice vibrated through the door as I turned and sank to the floor, pressing my back against it.
What did I just do? Was I really going to walk away from this? Was I going to punish him for not telling me something that I knew he couldn’t? Dev was right. If I couldn’t trust him, and understand what went on with someone in his field, then I needed to break things off before I hurt both of us, but did I do that? Did I really do it before I hurt him, because I sure as hell was hurting at the moment?
As I sat there leaning against door crying over a man I might have been able to love, my phone buzzed with a text.
Mason: Are you ok?
Me: Not really
Mason: Wanna talk about it?
Me: With you?
Mason: As friends of course
Me: I don’t know if I can be your friend
Mason: I’ll be there in 5 min
I slowly stood and unlocked the door before shuffling over to the couch and curling on my side to weep for what I wasn’t sure. Jeff? Mason? Myself? What was or what could’ve been? All I knew right then was my heart hurt.
Chapter 21
Mason
It was stupid really. Deciding to text her, but something in me said she shouldn’t be alone. Maybe it was the way she looked when I dropped her off. Maybe I should have pushed her to either stay with me, or let me come up. I wasn’t sure what was going on with her and Jeff, but I knew it wasn’t good. She hadn’t really opened up to me, and I couldn’t blame her. Why would she? I wasn’t any better
than him. We’d both hurt her.
I hadn’t gotten very far when I turned around and headed back to her place. I’d actually started coming back before I texted her. I wasn’t going to tell her that though. After parking, I made my way up to the door. As I was opening it to enter lobby, Jeff was stepping from the elevator. His eyes met mine and flashed with emotion. Surprise? Anger? Frustration? I wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t happy to see me there, and I couldn’t blame him. We really didn’t know each other, but I figured over the last month Dani probably shared something with him about me.
“What are you doing here?” he scoffed as he shoved past me.
I sighed as I stopped. I didn’t want to get into anything. I didn’t have a beef with him. I was here for Dani. She needed a friend, and I figured being her friend was better than nothing. “Did you have fun last night?” I mocked. I couldn’t help it. He’d had what I’d been after for longer than I could remember.
He shook his head before breezing down the front steps, “You better not fuck this up this time around.”
“I love her, man,” the words slipped out without me even meaning for them to. I paused as I swallowed. It was the first time I’d said them out loud and in front of someone other than my sister.
“Good,” Jeff nodded. “She needs that. Tell her I’m sorry,” he looked back over his shoulder, gave me a nod, and then slipped inside a dark sports car parked on the curb.
I wasn’t sure what that was about, or what I’d be walking in on. How close had they gotten? Was Dani in love with him? They’d only been together a little over a month. They couldn’t have gotten that close, right?
I growled in frustration at myself before stepping inside and taking the stairs two at a time to her floor. When I stopped at her door, I paused and knocked.
“It’s open,” she called, and I could tell she’d been crying.
“Fuck,” I hissed under my breath before cautiously opening the door.
What I saw when I stepped into the tiny apartment just about broke my heart. Dani was curled on the couch, tissues littering the space around her, with a blanket tucked up to her chin. Her eyes were puffy and red, and her cheeks tear-stained.
“Why does everybody lie to me?” she sniffed. “It doesn’t matter if they’re a good person or not, they all lie,” she growled as she punched a spot beside her.
I moved across the room, and carefully lowered myself onto the couch beside her. I turned slightly in her direction before gently tugging on her shoulders. She leaned into me willingly before her body started shaking with sobs. “Why… did…you …do it?” Her hands fisted my shirt. “Why?”
It took me a minute to realize that she was talking about our past. “I was stupid. I can’t change the past.”
“All men lie,” she sniffed again as she wiped her nose across my chest. “I… can’t… do this…anymore,” she released a shuddering breath before her eyes closed and more tears leaked from the corners.
“You don’t mean that,” I murmured as I gently pushed her hair back off her forehead. “You’re just upset.”
Her head pulled back slightly as she peered up at me, “Why did you come?” She paused for a minute before she continued. “Why are you here right now?”
“I love you,” I didn’t think this time. I didn’t hold anything back. I wanted to be real with her. I’d promised myself I’d be honest to a fault this time around. I needed her to see that I was going to try to make things better between us. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” I squeezed my eyes shut as I cursed myself in my head. I should have kept my mouth shut, but I didn’t want to be in that category that she was lumping men into anymore. I wanted to be different.
“What?” she pulled back further as she stared at me.
“I told you,” I shrugged and felt slightly embarrassed. “I loved you back then, and I still do. You don’t have to love me back. I’m not asking for that. For me… loving you is enough.” I watched her face. A myriad of emotions played over it. Confusion. Hurt. Anger. Sadness. They flitted through her eyes as she appraised me and chewed her on her lip. I didn’t know what she was thinking. “Are you upset that I said anything?” I didn’t really want to push, but I felt like this was our first real conversation since that day in the park.
“No,” her chin dropped and the word came out barely above a whisper. “Mason,” her eyes lifted and she stared at me. “I can’t do this right now. I can’t be what you’re wanting from me. I’m sorry,” she gave me an apologetic smile.
“That’s ok,” I wrapped her in my arms, and she collapsed against my chest once again. “I’m not asking you to. I just want to be honest with you. I’m always gonna be honest with you from now on. No more secrets. I know it’s asking a lot, but do you think there’s a chance in the future for us?”
She sucked in a shuddering breath, causing her whole body to shake against me before she whispered, “I don’t know. Maybe?”
I placed a kiss to the top of her head before resting my chin there. “I can deal with maybe,” I mumbled before leaning back and pulling her with me. She resisted at first, but when I didn’t loosen my grasp, she settled on top of me and I slowly rubbed her back as she fell asleep on my chest. It didn’t take long before I soon joined her, and as my eyes drifted closed I prayed that maybe would come sooner rather than later. I fucking loved her, and I needed her to see that. I needed to prove it, and I would.
ooooooooo
I don’t know how long we slept curled together on the couch, but when I started to wake the sun was high in the sky. It had to be afternoon by that point, and my stomach growled in protest over the fact that I missed lunch.
Dani yawned as she stretched against me before her head lifted to look at my eyes. She blinked a few times as if she were trying to figure out why I was there, and where she was before she scrambled off me. “I’m sorry,” she muttered as she glanced around at the mess of tissues that littered the couch.
“Don’t be,” I shrugged as I sat up. “I like holding you.”
She nodded in acceptance before she turned to face me. “Thank you,” she gave me a half smile. “For being here,” she waved her hand in the air. “I’m kinda a mess right now in case you couldn’t tell,” she chuckled lightly before shaking her head.
“It’s ok. Really. Do you want to talk about it?” I watched and waited. I’ve never really been the touchy feely type, but being around Dani made me act like a different person. It always had in high school, and now wasn’t any different. “Did you love him?” I waited patiently, but she just shook her head slightly. “Is all this because of him?” same response. “Is this because of me?” I swallowed. I hoped it wasn’t, but I had a bad feeling it was.
“Truth?” she clasped her hands in her lap as her eyes lifted to meet mine.
“Always,” I smiled.
“I think I was more into the fact that he seemed to like me for me. All my craziness didn’t bother him. I pushed him away, a lot, and he still came back for more. I think I’m more upset over the fact that it didn’t work out, than I am that it was him. I don’t know. Am I making sense?” she murmured.
“Honestly? You’re a girl. Girls never make sense,” I laughed lightly trying to lighten the mood.
“He didn’t pursue me like you did. He backed off when I said no. He wasn’t you,” her voice was barely above a whisper, and she turned away from me so I couldn’t see her face.
“Dani,” I swallowed. My heart was racing, palms sweating, voice cracking… I felt like a school boy again. “Please look at me,” I begged as I scooted closer so our thighs were touching. She shook her head no and swallowed so I reached up, my hand shaking, and gripped her chin between my thumb and forefinger. I turned her face in my direction, and leaned closer so my breath wafted across her lips. “I’m gonna kiss you now. You can’t say something like that and expect me not to, so I’m gonna kiss you and if you want me to stop… well, you’re gonna have to stop me.”
Her eyes flas
hed before they fluttered closed and she surrendered willingly. I slanted my head as I brushed my lips across hers. She gasped as I licked at the seam of her lips before inviting me in, and kissing me back. Her back arched as she wrapped her arms around my neck, and threaded her fingers through my hair. I tried, I really did, but she lit the fuse, and the fire that burned between us was unstoppable. No kiss had ever seemed as tantalizing as this one, and as she tugged on the strands of hair at my nape, I couldn’t stop myself.
ooooooooo
Danielle
What was I doing? Mason’s lips moved over mine in a dance that he seemed to be leading. He groaned when I tightened my grip on his hair, and before I knew it, he was leaning me back on the couch. I felt my back hit the cushions just as his right hand came up to grip my waist. He used his other hand to prop himself up over me as his chest pressed against mine. “I love you Dani,” he gasped as his lips moved from my mouth to my neck. “I love you so much,” he made his way along my jaw, and when I lifted my knee to wrap my leg around his hip, he pulled back panting. “Fuck! I’m trying to be honorable here,” he growled before crashing his lips back to mine. His tongue plunged in as his hand moved to my breast, kneading and squeezing it through my shirt and bra.
Jeff and I had made out multiple times. We’d gotten pretty close to sleeping together once, but I kept pulling back. His kisses and touches never matched up to what I’d remembered about Mason though. This right here was what I craved. Mason just knew me. In my head I was always comparing the two, and now that I think about it, I never really gave Jeff a chance. He was always gonna be in Mason’s shadow, at least in my mind that is.
“Tell me to stop,” Mason groaned as he ground his erection into me. “Make me stop. We can’t do this,” he panted as he sucked at the tender flesh of my neck. I hummed in pleasure as my hands glided down his back and squeezed his rear. “Fuck,” he groaned as his hips jerked forward.
Say You Remember: book 4 in The Witness Series Page 16
