by Liz Talley
“No.” Her response was too quick.
Jeremy moved inside the office and draped an arm over her shoulder. “They made you do line dances down there, didn’t they? It’s okay. We can get you some therapy.”
Kate smiled. She had to. Jeremy was one of her best friends. “No. No line dances.”
He dropped a kiss on her head. “Then why’s my Katiebug so sad?”
Just him calling her Katie made tears spring into her eyes.
“Oh, God. Did they make you wear Wranglers? Because Wrangler butts drive me nuts, but not on women.” He was trying to make her smile again. But this time she couldn’t. She actually felt her chin wobble.
“I fell in love,” she said.
Jeremy clutched his chest and fell into the chair holding the bag of towels. He yelped, hopped up, tossed the bag, then swooned again. Then he pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. “That’s great, Katiebug. Really great.”
She laid her head on his shoulder. “No, it’s not. It’s impossible.”
“Why?”
“Because my life is here. I have everything here. How can I be in a relationship that’s a thousand miles away?” She wiped her cheeks so she wouldn’t get Jeremy’s Oxford shirt damp.
“Hey,” he said, shifting her so he could look at her. “I want to show you something.”
He patted her back, indicating she had to get off his lap. She stood and he walked to their none-too-tidy desk and pulled an envelope from under the blotter. He handed her the letter.
She read it and then looked up at him and repeated the same word she’d said to him over a similar letter a little over a month ago. “How?”
“My father gave me the money my grandmother had left me. Money he’d hidden. It was over seventy-five thousand dollars.”
“Oh, my God!” Kate lowered the letter. Her mouth fell open as she looked at her friend. She was absolutely shocked. And he beamed at her, like a proud schoolboy. “Your father talked to you?”
“Better than that, knowing you were facing your past gave me the courage to face mine. I invited my father to lunch, and though he’s no card-carrying member of PFLAG yet, he’s offered to start therapy with me.” He turned his hands over and shrugged. “It’s a start.”
She hurried around the desk and enveloped her friend in a hug. “I’m so happy for you. I can’t believe it!”
He wrapped her in his thin arms. “I can’t, either, but I’m happy about it. And the salon is okay. Better than okay.”
Kate untangled herself from her friend and looked at the letter she’d dropped on the desk. No more bankruptcy. No more IRS threats. Fantabulous would stay fantabulous.
“I still can’t believe it. I didn’t even have to go to Texas after all.” Her heart beat as though she’d ran a race. Why? She wasn’t sure. She stared at a picture of her wearing a wig and sparkly dress. Jeremy had taken it on New Year’s Eve before they’d gotten the first IRS letter. She looked happy.
The room fell silent for a moment.
She looked at her friend. He stared at her measuringly. “Maybe you did have to go, hon.”
She sank into the chair they’d vacated moments before.
Jeremy fell into the desk chair and folded his hands on the desk like a high-school counselor. “Maybe all this was meant to be. A way for me to reconcile with my father. A way for you to face the past you’ve been running from all these years.”
Kate stared at a dust bunny huddled in a corner. “Maybe.”
“You said you fell in love, but you’ve changed more than that. I can see it in your eyes. The way you hold yourself. You seem vulnerable and, I don’t know, deeper.”
She shrugged. “I went through a lot of shit down there. A lot of stuff I needed to go through, I guess, but it changed me. I don’t feel the same.”
He nodded. “Let me tell you something, my dear friend. I’m learning that life is too damned short to waste time on things that don’t matter. You know?”
Victor’s cheerful face flashed into her mind. Jeremy likely didn’t have much time left with his partner. No time to waste. “I get you, Jer, but I can’t pursue something that’s not right for me. My life is here. In Vegas. I can’t throw everything I’ve worked so hard for out the window like it’s nothing. It means something to me.”
“Sure it does.” He nodded, picking up her glass paperweight. The one Nellie had sent her. “But, you see, Victor is my life. I’d choose him over my career, my house, my car, anything. I’d throw everything aside if I could have him forever.”
Kate lifted her head and met his eyes. She could see he meant what he said. What could she say to something like that?
He continued. “If I could go back in time, I’d toss out all those wasted years of clubbing, buying designer clothes, vacationing in St. Barts—all that stuff I thought was important—just to hurry up and get to the part where I had him in my life. He’s made me so much more than I ever expected. And the thought of not having him with me makes me so ill that I can barely get out of bed in the morning. No way would I ever let anything stand between us.”
She looked away because she didn’t want to see his pain, didn’t want to witness his grief. She was afraid she might find herself in his eyes. Knew she’d already found herself in his words. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. The salon—”
“Is a place. It’s not a person, Kate.”
“But it’s mine. It’s what I worked for. What I dreamed about.”
He shrugged. “Then, darling, you’ve got to decide if it’s enough.”
He shoved the rolling chair back and rose. On his way out of the office, he gave her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. But he didn’t say anything other than, “By the way, Mandy wanted to know if she could buy into the business. She’s brought in more new customers in the past two weeks than we’ve had in three months. Feels like destiny knocking, doesn’t it?”
And he left.
Kate pressed her hands to her eyes and rubbed. God, she wished she could wipe away her thoughts. Her head pounded from her hangover, her thoughts whirled faster than the bike spokes at the Tour de France and her heart plain ached. Her throat clogged with unshed tears.
Damn. She hated herself for being weak. For not being the Kate she was a month ago. For not being able to pull out the emotions rolling inside her, shove them in a box and hide them underneath her bed.
She opened her eyes and looked around her office. At the mosaic tile mirror she and Jeremy had attempted to recreate from a Design Star episode. At the bookcase she’d found on the side of the road the one time she’d managed to drag her friend Billie to a garage sale. At the mug that read I Fix $8 Haircuts she’d been given by a stylist before she moved to Rhode Island with an accountant she’d met at Cirque du Soleil. At the ratty plant in the window, the stacks of catalogs on the desk and the framed picture of her, Nellie, Billie and Trish taken the night Nellie had met Jack at Agave Blue, his former nightclub.
Her world had seemed so full.
She looked at the bag she’d dropped beside the chair next to her favorite catalogs—Neiman’s, Nordstrom’s and Saks. An awesome pair of bright pink Christian Louboutins seduced from the front cover of the Neiman Marcus spring collection.
She sighed and pulled the check her father had given her from the depths of her purse. She’d stuck it inside that morning, intending to head to the bank. She studied all those zeroes and thought of what they could buy.
She had to decide where her future lay.
Should she stay in Vegas?
Or should she carve out a new future in the piney woods of East Texas with Rick?
One way seemed smooth and safe.
The other very uncertain.
She was in the city of second chances. A city of risk takers. Of rebels. Of the brokenhearted.
But could Kate really roll the dice on her life?
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
OVER TWO MONTHS LATER, Kate considered how silly her powder-blue
VW bug looked parked next to the huge pickup in front of Phoenix. Especially with one of her George Kovac modern lamps looming in the backseat over a motley assortment of boxes and bags. Kate took a deep breath and pulled her canvas bag onto her shoulder. She hadn’t had time to bring a covered dish for the postgraduation party. Hell, she couldn’t cook anyway. She’d stopped and picked up brownies at Whole Foods before rolling into East Texas.
Her stomach felt fluttery, but she was resolved.
She’d made her decision. For better or worse.
She had no clue if Rick would have her. Or want to pursue anything other than friendship with her. He’d once said right before they’d made love that he would always be her friend. Always care about her. Well, she was about to test the truth of his words.
She approached the center, which was now awash in flowering Hawthorne bushes. Only one person stood on the porch—an older Hispanic man, who held a cigarette between his lips and nodded when she smiled at him. Heck. Even her smile felt nervous.
“They’re in there. Already started,” he said.
Kate nodded and opened the door.
The first sound she heard was her heart thumping against her ribs. Then she heard a woman singing a Barbra Streisand song that she could never remember the name of but had to do with love being like an easy chair. And she realized it was Vera singing.
The vaulted main room of the center was filled with folding chairs placed in five even rows, on either side of a center aisle. Every chair was filled, and a few people stood at the back. Justus’s wheelchair was parked at the end of the last row, and though she could only see the side of his face, she could tell he was enchanted with the way his wife sang the ballad. Everyone’s attention was on Vera, who was the only person to see Kate slip inside.
Her stepmother’s eyes widened only slightly, but she kept right on singing.
Kate eased into a spot at the back between a teenage boy with a tattoo of a skeleton on his forearm and a woman with curly black hair who smelled faintly of clean linen. The woman smiled at Kate. The teen looked at her then returned his attention to the moose head hanging above the mantel.
The center’s graduates sat in the front row. They all wore white dress shirts and ties and, to Kate, seemed to hold themselves proudly. She scanned the crowd for Rick but didn’t see him. She saw Nellie, Jack, Tamara, Betty Monk and even Sally Holtzclaw, but she didn’t see the man she’d missed so much it had physically hurt. She’d been a mess, popping antacids for weeks, although the negotiations over Fantabulous, clearing out her life in Vegas and summoning up the courage to take this enormous leap of faith contributed to the acid churning.
She was midair and it was time to stick the landing. She just needed to find her spotter. And he wasn’t anywhere to be seen.
Vera wrapped up the song with a soft, emotional note. The crowd clapped politely as she stepped from the platform that had been erected where the huge dining-room table usually sat. Outside the bay windows, Kate could see Banjo lying on the patio next to a barrel of tomatoes they’d planted nearly three months ago. Bright red plums perched among the spring green branches of the plants. All around the East Texas countryside, winter had melted into a cacophony of greens, each shade doing its best to one-up the other.
Vera patted her husband as she passed him, but she didn’t stop. She came straight to Kate, slipping in between her and the teenager, earning a disdainful frown from the youth.
She took Kate’s hand and squeezed it.
Justus swiveled his head to find his wife, but found Kate instead. The emotion that swept over his face wrung Kate’s heart. She had vowed she wouldn’t get overly emotional with her father. They both needed slow and steady. But they did have the start to a new relationship.
A microphone crackled then whined. The interference stopped when Rick stepped onto the stage and moved behind the podium.
Kate’s heart paused. She grasped Vera’s hand even harder, earning a smile from the older woman.
He looked amazing, if a few pounds lighter. His hair was still military short, his shoulders still broad beneath the navy sports jacket he wore over a light blue button-down and striped tie. He looked just about as good as any man Kate had ever seen.
“Thank you, Vera.” His gaze sought the woman beside her, and just like Justus, he found Kate instead.
If lightning could have struck, it would have.
That’s how powerful the moment felt. Like sheer electricity had zapped the air between them. Rick stopped and stared.
Many in the room swung around to follow his gaze.
“Kate,” Rick said into the mic, still obviously stunned she was here.
Manny waved at her and she waved back, and the moment was shattered. Rick cleared his throat and recovered.
“Now I will read the names of those who are graduating from Phoenix today.” His voice swelled with pride as he read each graduate’s name and accomplishments. Every so often he’d look toward her and each time she could see his questions.
After the participants in the program received their certificates of completion, Justus rolled forward. Rick handed the microphone to her father and helped him steady it before he spoke.
“Today is a day of new beginnings, but it is also a day for remembering the past. What will be and what is no more. My son, Ryan Talton Mitchell, was the inspiration for this center. His belief that all people hold a piece of goodness, a desire to do right and a need for a second chance is the seed which grew into the fruit that is this center. He is no longer with us…”
Her father’s words fell off for a moment.
“But his influence lives on in his words and his works. He believed in the power of love. And so do I. Today, I would like to present to Enrique Mendez, a man who is like a son to me, the deed to the land on which Phoenix stands. It is a gift from the Ryan Mitchell Love Foundation.”
Applause sounded as her father handed a paper to Rick. Rick bent to shake Justus’s hand and someone snapped a picture.
Her father rolled away as Rick returned to the podium.
“Now, before we indulge in the cake and punch so graciously provided by the Oak Stand Ladies Auxiliary, I would like to invite anyone present who would like to say a few words to do so.”
No one moved a muscle. Not even the graduates. The air was static once again.
Kate dropped Vera’s hand. “I’d like to say something.”
RICK WATCHED AS KATE MADE her way to the stage. She looked different. Her hair was longer, cut in a flattering fringe around her face. No flame-red or violet-blue streaked it. Just lovely raven locks framing a pert nose, lush lips and determined chin. And those eyes, man, they sparked, tugging new life into his blood, suturing the heart that had been gashed when she’d walked out of his life two months ago.
Her skirt swished around her trim ankles as she stepped onto the platform.
As he handed her the microphone, her hand brushed his. He felt a jolt to the center of his gut. Yep, he was a goner for Kate Newman. Stick-a-fork-in-him-done kind of goner.
She gave him a mysterious smile, then turned to face the audience.
“Hello, everyone. My name is Katie Newman. I’m Justus’s daughter and Ryan’s sister. I wanted to tell these guys how proud I am of them.” She swept a hand over the area where Georges, Manny, Joe, Brandon and Carlos sat. “I know what they feel this day. I know this journey has been hard but worth it, mostly because I’ve taken a similar journey over the past couple of months, so if you all will indulge me for a moment.”
“Go ahead, Kate,” Georges called out with a grin.
“Okay.” She sighed. “Facing your mistakes is hard. I was born here in Oak Stand and spent most of my life trying to get out. I was ashamed of who I was. And like these guys here, I resented many of the people who tried to help me, and I hated those who didn’t. Over the years, I built up anger and fear inside me. I only took comfort in the material things of this world, and I tried to control my life by never being weak. Neve
r opening myself up to anyone.”
Rick watched her as she said those words. Her eyes shimmered under the recessed lighting. Her hands trembled only slightly.
“Over the years, I’ve hurt people who loved me.” Kate looked at Nellie. Her friend was waving her hands in front of her eyes, as though trying to hold herself together. Jack wound an arm around his wife that she shrugged away, handing him a wiggling toddler.
“And, on this day of new beginnings, I want to say I’m sorry for not seeing the big picture earlier.” She looked at the graduates. “Sometimes it’s hard to ask for help. I’m glad you guys took that first step. And I’m glad I did, too.”
She shifted her gaze to the crowd. “This town held me up, just like they are holding Phoenix up. I never saw that. Never noticed who I had become. I closed myself to love.”
She stopped, pressed her lips together and glanced at Rick before continuing.
“Several months ago, I met myself. I came to terms with who I am. I discovered a brother I never knew, a stepmother I didn’t like and a father I didn’t think I could forgive. I was wrong. Just like I was wrong about this town. And for the very first time in my life, I fell in love.”
Her words stunned Rick. Something rose and expanded in his chest. His wounded heart came to life and thumped against his ribs. He was certain everyone in the room could hear it, could see his emotions coming undone.
Tears fell from Kate’s eyes, but she didn’t stop to wipe them from her cheeks. They dripped off her chin onto the floor.
“My heart, which had been full of bad things, is now full of something I never thought I could feel.”
A sob tore through her, but she pressed a hand to her chest and fought through it. “I went back to Vegas, but it wasn’t the same. I wasn’t the same because love had changed me. I don’t know what my future holds, but I want it to play out here.”
She finally wiped her face and smiled. “I can’t believe I’m about to say these words, but, I’ve finally come home.”
Nellie stood and whooped. Big Bubba Malone did the same. Betty Monk merely lifted her hands in a praise-Jesus gesture.
