I damn near lost my battle with my stomach, running to the bathroom and standing over the toilet, swallowing convulsively, before the apple decided to stay down and I began to feel better. Finally, sure I wasn’t going to puke, I left the bathroom and ate the rest of the apple. Blowing out a great cleansing breath, I pulled the plastic bag out of the locker and, after folding it into as small of a package as I could, I took it with me back into the bar.
“Alex? Are you okay? You’re pale as a ghost and sweating!” Jill exclaimed as I relieved her.
“Better now,” I said softly as I tucked the bag away out of sight behind the bar.
“Are you sure you don’t need to go home? We’re a little slow tonight. We can manage.”
“No, no. I’m okay now. Thanks for covering me.”
Jill grinned at me. “No problem. It’s a nice break from all the grabby hands.”
I spent the rest of the night nibbling on the apple or the sandwich squares when I wasn’t busy with a client. Once I was over the hump and was eating something every now and again, I felt a lot better.
During my down time, munching on another piece of apple, I thought about all that Cain had said, especially about what it was like for him growing up. I didn’t want that for my child, but as I told him, I didn’t want to trade one problem for another either. I wiped my hands on my bar towel after I popped the last of the apple into my mouth.
The problem with Cain was that he was so damned charming – dropping me off at the door, standing in the rain so I didn’t get any wetter than necessary, finding out what might help me with my sudden onset of morning sickness. I could have asked Granny what to do, and probably still would, but he didn’t wait around for someone else to do it. It would be a lot easier to hate him if he were a complete asshole. But he wasn’t. He really did seem to be concerned for my well being.
But that was now. How about in a month? Two months? Nine months, when it really started getting hard? Would he be there then? I didn’t know. He could say he would, but talk was cheap.
I wouldn’t admit it, but it still bothered me a little that he left me after he got me pregnant. I knew he didn’t know, and I also knew it was just supposed to be a one night stand, sex with no strings attached, but it still hurt when I woke up alone in the room.
I wondered if what he said was true, that my biggest problem was my pride. Nobody had ever fucked me then just walked out on me like that. Maybe a little bit of it was my pride, but that didn’t change the fact that he was still a load of trouble. Maybe the Hounds didn’t sell drugs, but it was damn certain whatever they did, it was just as illegal.
I shook myself clear of my thoughts as Megan swayed up with an order. As I filled her order I made up my mind. Cain may have been hot as a two-dollar pistol, and sweet as a pecan pie, but he was still trouble. He had caused me enough trouble already, and I didn’t need any more. No… I was doing the right thing by keeping him as far away from me as possible. I would make it work somehow. Besides, there was a lot more help available now than there was twenty-five or thirty years ago when his mother got pregnant. I could make this work without him. I had to.
***
“Cain! What are you doing here?” I demanded as I stepped out of The Claw after my shift ended and discovered him propped on my car. I was tired and I didn’t need this right now. I just wanted to go home.
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay to drive home.”
“As you can see, I’m fine.” I looked around but I didn’t see his bike anywhere. “How did you get here?”
“Took a cab, in case I needed to drive you home.”
I rolled my eyes. That was just about the lamest excuse I had ever heard. “I’m fine, and I can take of myself; thank you very much.”
He smiled at me then stood up and pulled the phone out of his vest.
“Who are you calling?”
“A cab.”
I stared him a moment, then began to feel like a class A shit. “Don’t do that. I’ll drop you off. But don’t this anymore, okay? It’s annoying and just a little bit creepy.”
“Okay.”
He held his hand out, and it took me a moment to figure out what he was doing, but then I tossed him my keys. He unlocked the passenger door and held it open for me. With a sigh I slid into the seat and he closed the door behind me. He adjusted the driver’s seat all the way back then eased into the car.
“I figured you were tired so I thought I would drive,” he said as he stuck the keys into the ignition and started the car.
Damn him! I leaned my head against the back of the seat and closed my eyes. I was tired, but not so tired that I couldn’t have driven home.
“How was work?”
“I’m not talking to you,” I murmured without opening my eyes. I was being a bitch, but he was pissing me off. The guy simply wouldn’t take no for an answer.
We rode along for a while before I opened my eyes. “Where are we going?” I asked as familiar sights passed.
“I’m taking you home.”
“The hell you are! I was supposed to drop you off at your hotel!”
“I’m just taking you home. I’ll catch a cab from there.”
“You lying sack of shit! You said we were going to your hotel!”
“I won’t even come inside, okay? We’re almost there.” He flipped on the wipers as it began to drizzle again.
“You’re such a dick!”
“No I’m not! I just wanted to make sure you were okay after getting sick today. I guess you ate the food, since you didn’t bring it out, and you’re feisty enough. Now I know and I won’t have to worry.”
“You lied to me!”
“Did not. I never said I was driving to my hotel. Just let me take you home and then I’ll leave, okay? Look, here’s your street,” he said as he turned.
He drove the car into the garage, crowding the driver’s side so I could get out without getting wet, then backed out and put the car in where it belonged so he could get out. As soon as he shut the car door he stepped out of the garage and pulled his phone out again.
He was out of the rain, protected by the eve of the house, but once again I felt like a total shit. He was being so nice to me. He tucked the phone away.
“The cab will be here in about twenty minutes.” He looked at me and smiled, but made no move to step into the garage. “I’ll just wait on the porch. Sleep well, Alex.”
I shut the garage door, but I couldn’t stand it. I put my purse down on the kitchen cabinet, marched over to the front door, and jerked it open. “Come in before you catch your death of pneumonia. But you have to leave when the cab gets here.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, damnit, I’m sure.”
He grinned at me and stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. “Thank you.” He took my head into his hands and held me gently as he lowered his lips to mine. The kiss had no heat, just a tender brush of his lips to mine, but damned if it didn’t feel nice. As soon as he kissed me, he let me go.
I stepped back and stared into his eyes. “You’re not staying the night,” I said firmly, as much to convince myself as to tell him.
“I didn’t think I was.”
“Then why did you kiss me?”
“Can’t I kiss the mother of my child?”
“No.”
He held his hands up in surrender. “Sorry. I was just saying thank you.”
“Is that how you thank all the women that do something nice for you?”
He gave me that mischievous smile again. “No. Just the woman that is the mother of my child.”
“I have to go change,” I announced as I turned away, just to get away from his presence. I could feel the pull of him again and I didn’t like it. Well, actually, I did like it, but I didn’t want to give in to it.
While I cleaned my face and slipped into my sweats, dressing down as much as possible, I heard him go into the garage, then return. When I stepped out of my room, he was under the k
itchen table with my adjustable wrench. That wrench, along with straight and Phillips screwdrivers, and a hammer were the sum total of my tools.
“What are you doing?”
“I noticed this morning the table was a little wobbly. I thought I would tighten the legs while I waited on the cab. It’s just a nut that needs tightening,” he said from under the table.
“Would you stop it?” I cried as my fists clenched.
“Stop what?” he asked as he looked up at me from the floor.
“I know what you are doing, and it’s not going to work!”
He looked genuinely puzzled. “What are you talking about?”
“You! Being so nice and helping! I’m not changing my mind, Cain. So forget it!”
He kicked his feet, slid around to a new position, and reached up with the wrench again. “I’m just tightening your table legs. It’s a two-minute job. I’m not expecting anything for it. What’s wrong with you?”
I stood and watched him as he twisted around again and tightened another leg before he slid out from under the table and pushed the chairs back into place. He walked past me and into the garage without saying a word, returning empty-handed a moment later.
“Thank you,” I muttered.
“No problem,” he replied gruffly. “Do you always have a problem with having someone help you? Or is it just me?”
“No! I don’t know! It’s just you. You make me crazy!”
“Me?” he said indignantly. “What have I done?”
“Being nice to me! Opening the car door! Driving me home! Fixing my table! Making me apples! Why are you being so nice?”
“What?”
I looked at his face and I could tell he didn’t know what I was talking about. “Why are you being so nice to me? Why won’t you just go away?”
His face crumbled and he smiled sadly. “Is that what you want?”
“Yes!”
“It’s not what I want.” He continued to look at me and then took my face into his hands again. He paused a moment, as if to give me a chance to protest, then kissed me softly. I wanted to pull back, but I wanted to return the kiss, as well. So I did neither. He broke the kiss and looked into my eyes, still holding me gently by my jaw. He lowered his lips to mine again, and this time I met him halfway, returning the kiss.
“I just want what’s best for you and the baby, Alex. That’s all I want. Why won’t you let me help?”
“I can’t, Cain. I can’t trust you.”
“You can,” he whispered as he brought his lips to mine again. “Trust me, Alex. I won’t hurt you. I’ll clean up my act. I’ll be here for you. You’ll see.” He kissed me again, more firmly this time, and I felt my body respond.
“But what about the club?” I gasped as our lips parted again.
“They’re my family. They would never hurt me, or anyone that I care about.” His lips danced along my neck. “Trust us, Alex. I won’t hurt you. The Hounds, they won’t hurt you. Let us help you.”
I pushed him back and he stopped his maddening kissing. I looked into his eyes, trying to read the intent. I couldn’t read him, but I wanted him… badly. “This is such a bad idea,” I whispered as I pulled him into a kiss.
I expected him to fuck me like he had the night in his hotel room, but he didn’t. We slowly undressed each other, kissing and touching, and he was making me squirm with his soft kisses and licks when I heard the car horn of the waiting cab.
“Your ride is here,” I panted, pulling his mouth harder into my breast.
“They can wait,” he murmured as he returned to my lips. His kiss was electric as he moved between my legs. He probed me, searching for my opening, then finding it.
“Wait!” I cried.
“I’m clean, Alex. I’m safe and clean. Trust me,” he whispered as he thrusted slowly.
I couldn’t get any more pregnant, and god did he feel good without the condom on. The car horn sounded again, but I no longer cared. I hadn’t had sex without the man wearing a condom in years, and I rejoiced in the feeling of skin on skin.
He took my lips, kissing me with purpose, and I could feel my toes curl as he drove into me harder, faster, my skin tingling as he wrapped me up, his arms around mine and holding my head gently in his hands. I crossed my ankles behind his back and held him by his shoulders, pulling him down to me as my orgasm began to rise within me.
He pulled back, pushing up through my embrace. I held tight but he was too strong, rising only enough to look into my eyes, his face intense, yet soft.
“I’m going to come,” I whispered.
“Come for me,” he replied just as softly, his eyes never leaving mine.
My orgasm flowed over me, wrapping me in its warm embrace. I clung to him, waiting for the rushing pleasure to subside, holding my breath as I swam in warmth and satisfaction. I exhaled as my climax washed out of me, and his lips were waiting. His kiss was soft, loving even, but as we parted, it was his eyes that held me. Never had a man looked at me the way Cain looked at me then.
I watched, mesmerized by his face. As I watched, his face twisted and he grunted once, his gasp almost inaudible, and I felt him flow into me. His faced relaxed and he, once again, had that look, the look I had seen on Rand and Christy’s face as they looked at Gunner.
His lips took mine as he settled softly onto me. “I will never hurt you, Alex,” he said softly as he kissed me gently. “You can trust me. Let me help you.”
I wanted to. Oh, how I wanted to… but I just couldn’t. “I can’t,” I whispered, and I felt like I was going to cry.
“You can,” he said, his lips hovering millimeters above mine. “Let me prove it to you.”
“You need to go,” I gasped out. “This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have let you stay.”
“Please, Alex. Let me stay.”
“I can’t, Cain… I can’t.”
“I won’t hurt you, I promise.”
“It’s not me that I’m worried about,” I murmured as I felt a tear trickle down the side of my face.
He kissed me once, very gently, on the lips then rose from me. He began to dress, refusing to look at me. I felt like shit, but I couldn’t allow him to stay. I couldn’t allow him into my life.
I rolled over and dressed, pulling my sweats on. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. Me, too,” he said quietly. He looked at me and I could see the hurt in his eyes. When he shrugged into his Hounds vest, he pulled the phone and dialed.
“This is Cain Rodgers. I ordered the cab for 1622 Tonti Street. Yes, I know. I got busy and couldn’t meet the driver. I know, but I will pay double. Yes, okay, thanks.”
We sat in uncomfortable silence until the cab arrived. I walked him to the door. “I’m sorry, Cain.”
He looked at me like he was going to say something, but then just turned and walked out of the door. When he reached the cab, he paused, as if waiting for me to call to him back. I didn’t, and he opened the door and sat down. As the car backed out of my drive, I closed my front door and locked it.
I went back to bed and I could smell him on the sheets. I lay there, sick at my stomach, not from morning sickness, but from dread, wondering what I was doing, wondering if I was making the right choice, the tears slowly rolling down my cheeks until I slipped into sleep.
Chapter 8
I pulled my purse and the baggy with the peanut butter sandwich from the passenger seat and stepped out of the car. Dinner would be waiting on me, but over the last several days I had learned that strong spicy smells and foods could sometimes upset my stomach. I had been eating a lot of pasta, fruit and, my old standby, peanut butter sandwiches.
I slid the baggy into my purse so Granny wouldn’t see it. I would only pull it out if I had to because I was looking forward to some of her low country gumbo and I had eaten a peanut butter covered apple before I left home to try to head off any queasiness. I would go heavy on the rice and light on the gumbo, season it with a prayer, and hope I could get through the meal without
embarrassing myself.
Granny was waiting in the living room as I entered and I gave her my hug and kiss, repeating the process with Grandpa before following her into the kitchen. I took a deep breath and was relieved that the wonderful smells of Granny’s kitchen didn’t bother me.
Outlaw's Wrath - An MC Brotherhood Romance Boxed Set Page 57
