He shoved the plate of beignets toward me as he slid out of the booth. He hadn’t even touched them. “Enjoy your beignets.”
I grabbed his hand as he started past. “Cain! Wait! Please.”
He stopped and looked down at me a moment before he returned to the booth.
“You’ve really thought about this,” I said quietly. The thing was, so had I, and if I were honest with myself, I didn’t have any answers to the questions he asked. All except one. I knew how my boss was going to react. The moment I began to show, I was out of there. I had seen it before.
“Yes I have,” he said. He looked at the plate of beignets before he picked one up and took a bite. “These are good,” he said hefting one in a small salute as he chewed.
“I’ve thought about these same things.”
“And?”
“And, I don’t know. Everything is moving so fast.”
“All the more reason you need my help. I don’t know what you make in a week, but I can send you something. Enough maybe to help you through.”
“Cain… I don’t want your money.”
“You say that now. But the time will come when you may need it. I’m telling you, Alex, and you need to listen to me; your entire life can change in a blink. It happened to my mother. If you don’t want the money, fine, put it into a savings account for junior. But it will be there if you do. And you will.”
“You’re so sure I can’t make it without you?”
“I’m not willing to take the chance. I want my kid to have a different life than I did. I don’t want him eating rice every day because that is all you can afford. I don’t want him dressed in secondhand clothes. I want him to get something other than socks and a candy bar for Christmas. I want him to go to college and be somebody – a doctor, maybe, or an engineer. And even if you can make it on your own, I still want to feel like I contributed. It’s our child, Alex. Ours. I want to be there when he is born. I want see him grow up.” He paused as he looked at me and sadness filled his eyes. “But mostly, I want him, or her, to know who their father is.”
Tears flooded my eyes and I wiped at them.
“But if you can’t give me that, then at least I will know that I did all I could to take care of them, to make sure they have every opportunity to succeed that I didn’t.”
“I’m sorry, Cain.”
“Yeah, I know. We’ve been over this before.”
“No. I mean I’m sorry for the way I have treated you. You’re right. You should be involved.”
He blinked at me a couple of times. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, everything you said is true. But…I worry about what you do. How can you do all these things, how can you be here for me and for our child if you are dead or in jail?”
“I won’t be. Come to Dallas with me. You’ll see.”
“Cain… I can’t. This is my home. I told you that. My grandparents live here and they need me. I can’t leave them.”
He stared at me a moment and I could see him thinking furiously. “Then give me some time. Let me work out something with the Hounds. Maybe I can move here.”
“You would do that? You would leave your club behind?”
“Let me try to work something out first, okay? I am down here practically every month anyway. Maybe I can start a new charter.”
I thought it over. It was something, but it wasn’t enough. He was trying, I knew he was, but it bothered me that he was still so tightly linked to his club. “You won’t leave your club?”
“Alex… the Hounds are my family. Just like you won’t walk away from your grandparents, I can’t walk away from the Hounds. Not until I have no other option. Can’t you give me at least that little bit? Give us a chance to meet on common ground? Let me try to work something out.”
I thought about it. I wanted to meet him halfway, but his club still worried me. It was the uncertainty that hung over all of this and prevented me for going all in with him. And I wanted to go all in. I wanted him to be with me. I wanted to know that he was behind me to help me if I should falter. I wanted that sense of security that Christy had, knowing that there was someone there for her and she didn’t have to face all the responsibilities of raising a child alone.
“It’s hard, Cain. It’s so hard.”
“I know. But, Alex, it’s what I do. If I were to leave the Hounds, I would have nothing – no way to support you. I need time, time I don’t have right now. Please, Alex, trust me on this. I will be here for you. I’m not going to jail. I’m not in danger of being shot…especially now that I won’t be sleeping with other women anymore,” he said with a slight smile. “If I were to leave the Hounds now, you would be worse off than you are now, because you wouldn’t have my income to help you. I’m sorry, Alex; I can’t leave the Hounds. Not now.”
I stared at the beignet in front of me. “Then we are right back where we started.”
Cain rose from his side of the table and slid in beside me. “No. Alex, I want you to trust me. I only want what is best for you, for you and the baby. Let me prove it.”
“How?”
“I have to leave for Dallas tomorrow. I’m already late getting back. I had…some unexpected…news to deal with first.” He smiled briefly at me. “But I will be back. And when I am, we can work something out. All I’m asking is for you to give me a chance to prove to you that you can trust me.”
I looked into his eyes and I could see the sincerity there and I wanted to believe him. I did believe him. I believed that he would do everything he could for me and our child, but sometimes fate had a way of interfering. Just like it had with my parent. All the good intentions in the world couldn’t stop a bullet with your name on it, or a warrant for your arrest.
“I’ll try. Take me home?”
He smiled and I allowed him to kiss me. He slid out of the booth, dropped a twenty on the table to cover our bill, and led me out. He escorted me past his motorcycle to my car then held his hand out and I dropped my keys into them.
“What about your bike?”
He opened the passenger door and I slid in. “It’s just a motorcycle. It can be replaced,” he said before he shut my door.
Chapter 10
We rode in silence, an uneasy truce between us. As the houses drifted past my window, I thought about what he had said. I saw that he was concerned for his child and, by extension, me, but it still bothered me that I didn’t know what he did. His refusal to tell me told me everything I needed to know. What he did, no matter what he said, was illegal. I desperately wanted to trust him. And I did, but only so far. He could say he was in no danger of going to jail, or of being killed, but he had no way to know that.
On the other hand, we both could be killed tonight, on the way home. He was right about that. There were no sure things in life. It’s funny how your priorities change once you became responsible for another life. I never understood moms driving their huge SUVs, but over the last month, I had become keenly aware of just how small my little car was. Before I was concerned about looking good behind the wheel. Now, I concerned about being safe.
I was still musing over life, and the choices we made, when Cain stopped my car in the drive so I can get out, before putting it into the garage.
I was standing behind the car as he struggled out of it, the tight garage making the task even more difficult. When he finally shut the door he looked at me and grinned crookedly. “You need a bigger car.”
“I like my car,” I protested.
“Well, then, you need another one, so I can wear one on each foot.”
I giggled at him as I slipped past, but he made no move to follow. I stood at the top of the two steps into my house and looked at him. “Stay with me tonight?”
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes.”
He looked at me, his eyes narrowing. “Why? The last time you kicked me in the nuts.”
I felt my mouth pull down in a pout. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m just so…confused. I want
you, but, at the same time, I’m afraid of you.”
“You have nothing to fear from me,” he said as he moved toward me.
I opened the door and led him into my house. “Not from you, but from what you do. I’m afraid to…get involved with you. I’m afraid to let you into my life, and if I do, I’m afraid that one day you just won’t come home.”
He moved in close and took me into his embrace, holding me snuggly, one hand around my back, and the other on my head. It was a very loving embrace and I relaxed into it. “I promise you, Alex, nothing can keep me from you. I want to get to know the mother of my child. I want…”
“What?” I asked when he didn’t continue.
“I want…a chance to fall in love with you.”
I felt a smile form but otherwise I didn’t move. “Why? I was just a one night stand for you.”
“Yes you were. And now you are the mother of my child.”
“Does that make a difference?”
“Only the difference between night and day.”
“Why?”
“Because you have a part of me inside of you. Now, I want to find out if I can win a piece of you for inside of me. Your heart. Everything happens for a reason. Despite all the precautions, you got pregnant. Maybe that means we are supposed to be together. Maybe this is fate’s way of bringing us together.”
I muscled my way out of his embrace. “Do you believe that?”
“I don’t know,” he replied, his eyes meeting mine. “I just know that you are an amazing woman, and any man would be lucky to have you. I’m just asking for a chance, Alex. Won’t you please give me that chance?”
I thought about Granny and Grandpa, and how she had to take the leap of faith for him. I wanted to make the leap for Cain, but I stood rooted, unable let go of my fears. As I stood, trying to let go of my reservations, trying to accept him into my life, he took my face in his hands and gently, softly, kissed me. I melted into him, my arms going around his neck, pulling him into the kiss. I wanted him. I wanted him in my life. I wanted to give him a chance to fall in love with me, and me with him. I wanted to fall in love with the father of my child. I opened my mouth and offered my tongue, our tongues touching as they wrapped in their own embrace, relaxed, then wrapped about each again.
He picked me up as if I weighed nothing at all and carried me through my house to my bedroom where he placed me carefully in the center of the bed. He pulled back and simply looked at me, his eyes taking me in as if seeing me for the first time, his expression making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
I didn’t move, allowing him to look at me as I warmed with his gaze. I could feel the first tenuous connections forming between us and I smiled. Perhaps we were meant to be together. I held my arms out, offering myself to him, and his smile touched me. Not the smile of a man taking something he had won, but the smile of a man that was receiving a cherished gift.
He leaned in and took my lips as his fingers drifted along my cheek, his touch gentle, as if he were handling the most delicate flower. He slowly undressed me, removing my button down blouse, jeans, and sneakers, his lips never long removed from my skin. I had managed to unbutton his shirt, but nothing else, and I wanted to feel his flesh against mine. I pulled him up by his arms and he came, his lips finding mine. I pushed his shirt over his shoulders and he allowed it to fall as I began to work on his belt.
He allowed me to open his pants and I reached inside, taking his hardness into my hand, each beat of his heart a pulse in my hand. As I held him, he kissed me with intent, a kiss as erotic as any I ever had, and it practically took my breath.
“I want you,” I whispered as I stared into his eyes.
His smile returned and he beamed at me as his face softened. “I want you,” he whispered in return. He moved away from me and removed his boots and pants as I curled into his back and kissed him on his neck. As his pants hit the floor, he turned to me, taking me by the shoulders and guiding me back to the bed. He followed my slow tumble and began to kiss my neck, his tongue and lips busy as he slowly worked his way under my jaw and down the valley of my breasts. He paused to suckle at my nipples, his tongue caressing the hard little points until I began to squirm and gasp from the sensation. Just when I thought I could stand it no more, he moved on, kissing his way down my body.
I shuddered softly in anticipation of the pleasures to come, well aware from our first encounter of what he could do down there. I lay still as his lips danced across my stomach, soaking in the pleasures like a sponge. As he moved between my legs, his breath on my most intimate area was warm and erotic and I whimpered softly. I drew my legs up as he wrapped me up, my ankles hitting him on the back of his arms as he reached through the triangle of my legs and placed his hands on my hips to hold me in place.
He started out slowly, his tongue touching me lightly as he teased with anticipation. My hands found his head and I pressed him down, needing to feel the sweet release that his kisses were promising me. I looked down and met his eyes, his smile as he probed me with his tongue causing his eyes to crinkle. I watched, unable to look away, as his eyes held me. The orgasm bore down on me in a rush and my eyes closed as I curled up, panting my way through my release. I was surrounded in a warm blanket of pleasure as my climax roared through me until, finally, I swam up from the depths of my orgasm and opened my eyes, suddenly aware of his lips on my inner thigh. I released a great cleansing exhale then moaned loudly in delight.
“That was a good one,” I sighed, warm and relaxed. I started pulling him upwards, wanting to taste his lips, and he came. I took his lips with gusto, taking my fill of his kiss and then tried to twist him to his back.
He moved, rolling to his back, and I followed, my lips caressing his chest. As I began to work lower he took me by the shoulders, stopping my advance.
“No,” he said softly as he pulled me back up from his stomach. “Tonight is your night.” He pulled me gently into a kiss as he steered my hips over his. Never breaking the kiss, I took his cock into my hand and steered it into me as I slowly surrounded him.
As he entered me, I once again delighted in the feeling of him inside of me with nothing between us, skin on skin. I put everything I had into that kiss, and he met me, the power of his kiss rising to surpass my own. He held me tight, his arms going around me as he began to drive into me with long firm strokes.
I couldn’t breathe. “Oh god!” I gasped as he thrust into me, nearly overwhelmed by the pleasure of our joining. I curled an arm around his head and pulled it up as I slid forward, giving him more room to thrust. As he nursed me, his cocking began to hit me just right. I gasped, a sound of pure pleasure, as he began to drive me headlong into another orgasm.
“I’m going to come again,” I murmured.
I heard him grunt softly as he began to drive into me harder and faster.
“Yes…” I hissed as I began to coil up for another explosive release. My orgasm hit me like a thunderclap and I groaned softly as I fought through a mind-bending orgasm. Just before I was buried under a tidal wave of pleasure, he gasped softly and then became still.
I giggled, low and deep in my chest, as I surfaced from the ocean of pleasure. I kissed him sloppily, aglow in pleasure. “Did you come?” I whispered as our lips parted, though I already knew the answer.
“No,” he whispered as he tasted my lips again.
“No?”
“No, I didn’t come,” he clarified.
I smiled at him as I pushed my hair out of my eyes. “We’ll have to do something about that.” I pushed myself upright, my ass forcing his legs down as I rotated my hips. I braced my arms against his chest and began to rise in fall. With two orgasms under my belt, I was ready to settle in and wear his ass out.
I watched his face as we moved together, his hands on my hips, steadying me as we gave and took pleasure. “You’re going to come, Cain,” I whispered, feeling wicked and in control.
Outlaw's Wrath - An MC Brotherhood Romance Boxed Set Page 59
