by Alyson Hale
“Fuck, Elyza!” Eddie’s shout echoes through the loft as his cream shoots down my throat. I smile around his cock and tease him with my eyes. I’m quite pleased with myself, making him come so hard he yelled out my name for anyone else in the building to hear. It feels good to make him feel good. I’m a little sad that this is the last time we’ll do anything sexual.
After we’ve cleaned ourselves up, Eddie kisses me, unheeding of where I’ve just been. “You want me to return the favor?” he asks huskily.
“Not right now,” I reply, thinking about my ruined thong. “I need some food.”
“I hear that,” Eddie says. He kisses me one more time and detaches from me to head to the refrigerator. “You ever had a mimosa?”
“Can’t say that I have,” I reply. I slip his shirt on and move to one of the bar stools.
Eddie takes a bottle of white wine and a carton of orange juice out of his stainless steel refrigerator. “I think you’re going to like this,” he says with a sideways grin.
God, the things he’s doing to my insides. I’m probably going to rub off again when I get home. I’ve never experienced this kind of raw sexual energy. It seems never-ending.
He takes two champagne glasses out of his cabinet and pours our drinks. I watch his tattooed arms work, wondering what it’s like to watch him play guitar on stage in person. If his arms look this good pouring drinks, I can only imagine what they look like in their element. I’ve watched all his music videos, but modern cameras don’t come anywhere near doing this gorgeous man justice.
Eddie places my mimosa in front of me and takes the stool next to me. I take a demure little sip, unsure if I’m going to like it at first. As soon as the lovely, fragrant mixture of citrus and floral essences hits my tongue, I know I’ve found my favorite drink on the planet.
“I’m in trouble.” I moan as I bring the glass up to my lips and take a longer sip.
Eddie chuckles. “I had a feeling you would like mimosas. You’re that kind of woman.”
I cock an eyebrow. “And what is ‘that kind of woman’?”
“Sassy yet classy, with a sinful streak in her.” Eddie grins at me over top of his glass, then takes a long swallow. I watch his Adam’s apple pull up and down.
I smile and take a bite of my food. The eggs and sausage are well cooked, and the toast is crispy and the perfect shade of golden brown. I’m not fooled for one second by this man’s rough exterior. He really is a big sweetheart. Who else would make a breakfast like this for a woman he only plans on seeing once?
I hasten to down my mimosa and as much of my food as I can stomach. Then I lean over, give Eddie a little kiss on the cheek, and hop down from the stool to find my things, which are strewn all over the loft.
“Done so soon?” Eddie asks. He turns around and sees me scrambling to find my clothes and purse. Eddie slides off his bar stool easily and comes to stand in front of me, reaching out to hold my arms and still me. “Oi, what’s the rush, love? You don’t have to hurry off.”
I pause with my skirt clutched in my hands. “I don’t?”
“No.” Eddie’s gaze darkens. I’m not sure what’s going on behind his eyes, but his usual cheery nature is nowhere to be seen. “Did you think I wanted you to leave right after breakfast?”
“W-well, yeah.” I laugh nervously, rubbing the back of my neck. “I mean, what else would we do? You’ve put me out of commission, Eddie. I can’t fuck anymore for the next few hours, at least. And I need a shower, badly.”
Eddie considers my words for a second and nods. “Right, I could use some freshening up myself. Do you want to have dinner with me tonight then? We can just talk and get to know one another.”
My stomach tightens. I try to force words out of my throat, but they come out hoarse. “You mean like a date?”
“Yeah.” Eddie smiles as if he’s excited about the prospect.
My breathing picks up speed. Eddie wants to date me? That means this wasn’t a one-night stand to him. He actually likes me. I didn’t think this was possible. It wasn’t something I even allowed my mind to process. Now that I’m face-to-face with the idea, it’s terrifying. There’s no way I can give my heart to someone like him. I can’t imagine any scenario in which it doesn’t end up broken.
If Eddie were just some normal guy, I could picture myself waking up every morning like this. Some mornings I would wake up to him cooking me breakfast; others I would wake up in his arms, kissing him and feeling him touch me in all my tender places. I know that can’t happen, and the longer I stay here, the emptier I’m feeling inside. Why did I do this to myself? I shouldn’t have stayed here to eat. Prolonging the inevitable is only going to make it hurt more when he’s gone and I’m alone again.
My heart squeezes painfully. Tears prick my eyes. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I say, feeling like my heart is falling out of my chest.
Eddie frowns. “Why not?”
I sigh. Is he really going to make me spell this out? “It wouldn’t work,” I say. “You’re going on tour and I’m in college. We’re not even going to see each other again until Jace and Kyri’s wedding, which is months from now.”
Shrugging, Eddie says, “So?”
I gape at him. “You mean you want to get to know each other over long distance?” Eddie nods. My head swims until I’m worried I might pass out. Eddie Turner likes me so much he’s willing to go without sex for four months just so he can be with me. This can’t be real. It has to be some kind of cruel, fucked up dream.
Looking into his beautiful silver eyes, I give it a moment’s thought. What would it be like to have Eddie call me every day and tell me he misses me? I could hear about all the places he’s been and things he’s seen and look forward to going there with him myself one day. His sexts would get me through the day, making me smile as I slaved over hours of anatomy homework. I know I could handle being with him over the distance, but here’s the problem: he’s a rock star who is swarmed by girls everywhere he goes. No way in hell is he going to want to wait for me that long. He’s out of his mind if he thinks he isn’t going to be bored of talking to me in less than a week.
I look down at the floor and twist my hands in front of me. “I’m sorry, Eddie. I can’t do long distance.” I pull my skirt up over my hips, not wanting to feel naked emotionally and physically. “This is over.”
Whirling around, I gather my things. It takes all my willpower not to turn around and tell him I’ve changed my mind. I wouldn’t let myself want him before this moment because I knew I couldn’t have him. Now that he’s offered himself to me, I’m questioning my own sanity for saying no.
“Elyza, please.” Eddie follows me to the door and wraps his hand around my arm. The sadness in his eyes is almost my undoing. “Can’t we at least talk about this? There must be something we could do to make it work. I could fly up to your school on the weekends or something—”
“Just stop, please.” I stifle a sob with my hand on the doorknob. This is so unfair. I want to turn around and fall back into his arms, but I can’t. Not as long as he’s exactly the kind of man I’ve been cautioned all my life to avoid. “Goodbye, Eddie. Thanks for everything.” I hurry out the door without looking back.
Chapter 12
Eddie
The empty sound of a door slamming in my face echoes in my ears. I take a long sip of my porter stout and stir my food around on my plate. My bandmates invited me out tonight to have dinner with them at the pub, and they’re laughing and talking around me as if the world didn’t just fall apart. This isn’t where I wanted to be tonight. I wanted to take her to dinner and dance with her again, this time with no expectations. I just wanted to hold her. I didn’t want to lose a moment with her before she had to leave, and now I don’t have her at all.
It’s been hours since Elyza left me at the loft, but I can’t get her crestfallen face out of my mind. She didn’t want to reject me. It was obvious. But she’s scared of being with me, and she wouldn’t even give
me the chance to fix that. I understand her fear, more than she knows. I’ve learned firsthand how badly a relationship can go south when distance is introduced to the mix. But for her, I’m willing to take the risk. I’ve never felt like this about any woman before and I never will again. This is the woman I want to be with for the rest of my life. I’m going to win her over, no matter what I have to do. If only I had an idea of how to convince her.
Jace knocks his boot into my shin under the table. I shout in pain and glare daggers at him. “What the fuck was that?”
“You look glum,” Jace says, his lips pursed with concern. “What’s on your mind, Ed?”
I lean down and rub my shin where he kicked it. “I would have told you if you asked. You didn’t have to try and break my leg.”
“Pussy,” Damien mutters. I turn and glare at him. He cringes, remembering his promise to me the other night. “Sorry.”
I release a deep sigh. “Elyza and I spent the night together last night, but she doesn’t want to see me again.”
“What?” Kyri shrieks. Her eyes grow wide with shock. “Are you serious? She rejected you?”
I eye her with confusion. “Yeah, why?”
Kyri’s blush is similar to her sister’s. She huddles into Jace’s side. “Nothing, go on.”
I tell them everything, without going into details about the activities we engaged in last night. Normally, I would tell all, trying to one-up Jace and Damien, but this is Kyri’s sister, and besides, Elyza means much more to me than some girl I fucked and forgot on tour. I don’t even remember half their names, but Elyza will haunt me forever. The way she moaned and sucked and writhed underneath me...fuck. I can’t let her go. Not this one. She’s the woman I want.
At the end of my story, Jace grins down at Kyri. “So it looks like we’ve got another runner.”
Kyri playfully slaps Jace on the shoulder. Jace kisses his fiancée on the corner of her lips, melting her indignation away in a nanosecond.
“You think she’s running for the same reason you were, Kyri?” I ask, hoping to redirect their attention to something other than each other for once. Watching them slobber all over each other is getting old, especially now that the sting of rejection is burrowing further and further into my chest.
Kyri turns her attention back to me and nods. Jace holds onto her waist, kissing her neck and being shamelessly oblivious to everything else going on in the room. “My dad really did a number on us both. Elyza doesn’t like to show it and even pretends she forgives him for it, but I know deep down she’s still angry that he had to leave us. She’s probably terrified you’re going to abandon her the way we were abandoned before. He left us to tour with a band—your band—so it makes perfect sense.”
I remain quiet and solemn as I ponder what this means for me. I can’t abandon my life with the band. I love it too much. Performing is the only thing I know how to do. Yet living without Elyza seems just as impossible to me now, even though we only just met. There has to be some way I can convince her I’m nothing like Rick Calloway. Once she’s mine, all hell couldn’t stop me from coming back to her. We could find a way to make it work over the distance. I know we could.
Kyri breaks into my thoughts. “You really like my sister, don’t you?”
I look at Kyri and shake my head. “I don’t think ‘like’ is strong enough a word.” Jace and Kyri smile at me in a way that makes me squirm. “What?”
“Oh, nothing,” Jace croons. “Just that you and I are going to end up brothers after all.”
Chapter 13
Elyza
It’s been five days since I was in the back of the limo with Eddie. I’m almost embarrassed to be sitting on this back seat as if nothing happened when so much happened here that night. Jace and Eddie use the same driver, so I ended up here again, on my way to see my dad for the first time in over ten years. Jace arranged a lunch for us since he’s the one who has Dad’s contact information. It’s strange to think that Jace knows my own father better than I do. Dad managed their band for several years before Jace basically bullied him into quitting a few months ago. He did it for Kyri, since she can’t stand being around Dad.
Kyri said she would come to this lunch with me, but I have a feeling she’s going to bail. Looking over at her from my bench, I can tell her fight-or-flight instinct is going haywire. I wanted Kyri here for moral support, but I don’t want to make her sick in the process. As soon as the limo pulls up to the entrance of a four-star restaurant in Atlanta, I unbuckle my seatbelt and crouch in front of Kyri.
I lay my hand on her knee. “You don’t have to come in with me if you don’t want to,” I tell her.
Kyri’s whole body sighs. Her face relaxes into a smile. “You are too good for this world, Ely.” She leans forward and kisses me on the forehead. I fall into her embrace, clinging to her for every ounce of support I can get before walking into this restaurant without my security blanket. “We’ll wait for you in town. Just call me when you’re ready to leave, okay? Even if it’s five minutes from now.”
I roll my eyes and pull away from her. “I don’t think it’s going to be that bad.”
“You don’t know Rick,” Jace says, his voice deep and booming as he furrows his brows at me. He speaks in a brotherly, protective tone. “He’s not to be trusted. Don’t let him talk you into anything that sounds shifty.”
I swallow against the lump in my throat. “Okay.”
The driver comes around the side of the limo and opens the door for me. When I step out into the chilly wind, I huddle into my faux fur-lined coat and pull out my phone. I open it to my joint text chain with Maria and Lance.
Me: I’m about to go see my dad. Wish me luck!
Three dots bounce in the bottom left corner of the screen.
Lance: Good for you, bae! Let us know how it goes.
I smile, picturing Lance jumping up and down and clapping his chestnut brown hands. My best friend knows how much I’ve wanted my dad to come back all these years. I should hate Dad for leaving. I should be terrified after Jace and Kyri’s warnings. But somehow, I feel like stepping inside this restaurant and facing the source of my fears in life is going to be the key that unlocks my future. I’ve been stunted when it comes to my relationships with men because of my fear that they’re going to leave me. Having my dad back could change all that, for good.
The interior of the restaurant has an open industrial ceiling with globe lights suspended over the tables. Clinking silverware and soft conversation echoes through the open space. I walk up to the hostess’ stand and tell them I’m with the Calloway party. She leads me to a table in the back corner of the restaurant, where a man I barely recognize is standing to greet me.
His once-dark hair is now streaked with gray, and his skin is leathery and littered with random tattoos. A small mustache like a black and white caterpillar perches atop his crooked mouth. The smell of cigarettes and dip hangs around him like tar dripping down the side of a barrel.
I try to resist cringing outwardly. This is the person I was so excited to meet? He looks like someone I’d be afraid to be caught alone with in a dark alley.
He reaches out to hug me. I step backward and stand at a distance, like a child being approached by a stranger. Oddly enough, that’s exactly how I feel. The mixture of sadness and joy in his eyes causes a strange pang of guilt in my chest.
“My little Elyza.” His voice is familiar, but now it’s raspy with age and the effects of substance abuse. “I’ve missed you so much. I can’t even tell you.”
I manage a nod and nothing else. He pulls out a chair for me, and I sit down, focusing my attention on the minimalist menu with a handful of items printed on it. Everything on here is expensive as hell. I hope he’s planning on paying, because I currently have a mere thirty-six dollars to my name.
A waiter comes over to take our drink order. Dad orders scotch on the rocks for himself. He starts to order me wine, but I hold up my finger to interrupt him.
“I don�
�t turn twenty-one for another two months,” I remind him.
Dad grunts, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Sorry about that.”
I force a smile for the waiter. “Just a water with lemon, please.”
The waiter nods and spins on his heels to return to the kitchen. I look over at Dad as he peruses his menu. My heart sinks in my chest. He doesn’t even remember my birthday or how old I am. Come to think of it, I don’t remember getting any presents or cards from him this whole time. Has he forgotten everything about me? Did he leave us behind and never think of us again?
All my memories of piggy-back rides, arcade games and laughter...were they just my way of fabricating a good memory of him to cover up all the bad?
The waiter brings our drinks over, and I’m no closer to making a decision on food. Everything on the menu looks foreign to me. I tell Dad to pick something for me, and he orders us both a dish made with duck and some vegetables I don’t recognize. The man may not look cultured, but he knows his way around a four-star menu. He probably rides in limos everywhere just like Jace and has a mansion somewhere that I don’t know about.
This man worshipped money so much, he was willing to abandon his own family. As the awkward silence drags on, with little effort from either of us to break it, it becomes abundantly clear: this is not my Daddy. The man who once cared about me and played with me from dawn until dusk is gone.
Dad sighs as he stirs his whiskey, making the ice cubes clink against the glass. “I don’t even know how to start, so I’ll just say it: I’m sorry, Elyza.”
I trace patterns on the condensation on my glass, trying to keep my emotions under control. I shoved these feelings of anger and sadness so far beneath the surface that I forgot they existed. Now they’re coming back in full force, and it’s all I can do to keep my cool and not make a scene in the middle of this extravagant place.
