“It was no big deal,” she said.
He studied her intently. “You sure about that?”
“Absolutely.”
“Okay, then. How’ve you been?”
“Fine. You?”
“Fine.”
They fell into an awkward silence. Melanie desperately wanted to break it but couldn’t think of a single thing to say. The only thing she really wanted to know was where he’d been and why he hadn’t come by the house for days. She already knew the answer, though. Mike was avoiding her. She could hardly blame him.
“Sorry I haven’t been by lately,” he said as if he’d read her mind. “I’ve had a big job to complete before the owners get down here next week. They want the landscaping finished before their housewarming party.”
Something that felt a lot like relief washed over her. “Will you make it?”
“If Jeff stops meddling in my personal life and gets all the plants over there,” Mike said.
“I suppose he meant well.”
“The same way your sisters meant well,” he replied. He met her gaze and held it for what seemed like an eternity. He seemed to be debating with himself about something. “Do you want to go out with me?” he asked eventually.
She swallowed hard under the intensity of his gaze. “On a date?”
“Call it whatever you want to.” He shrugged. “It’s just dinner.”
“I don’t know.” She managed to get the lukewarm response out, even though her libido was screaming an emphatic yes.
“It wouldn’t have to be a big deal. And it definitely wouldn’t involve Jeff and Pam putting us under a microscope to dissect our every move.”
But it would be a big deal, whether Jeff and Pam were there or not, she thought desperately. It would be a very big deal. Because if she went out with Mike, if he so much as touched her, there would be no turning back.
Mike wasn’t sure what had possessed him to ask Melanie out, not after everything they’d both done to see that their hormones didn’t get the best of them. Maybe it was the vulnerability he’d seen in her eyes when he’d offered an explanation for why he’d stayed away. He’d realized then that his absence had actually mattered to her. He’d suddenly wanted to prove that he hadn’t been avoiding her, that he wasn’t some macho jerk who teased a woman, planted all sorts of ideas in her head, then never followed through.
Maybe he also wanted to prove the same thing to himself. Maybe he wanted to make a liar out of Jeff with his smug declaration that Mike was in denial about his feelings.
Maybe he just wanted another chance to kiss Melanie and make mincemeat out of all those rules she’d established. That was probably the one, he admitted to himself. He’d thought about little else since the last time he’d set eyes on her. All those rules and challenges were practically irresistible.
“Tonight,” he pressed when Melanie had been silent way too long. “Jessie can spend a couple of extra hours with the sitter.” He liked that. Knowing that Jessie couldn’t be left with anyone for too long would keep the evening short. There would be no danger of anything getting out of hand. Yep, that was a great plan.
Melanie nodded slowly, as if she got the implied message. There would be no hanky-panky, no dangerous lingering under the stars, lips locked, hands roaming.
“Okay, then,” she said at last. “Just dinner.”
Mike bit back a smile. She sounded so emphatic. “I’ll pick you up at six.”
“And have me home by eight,” she added.
“Or thereabouts,” he agreed. After all, even he wasn’t delusional enough not to leave himself some wiggle room. Just in case, he’d leave things a little loose with the sitter.
He glanced into Melanie’s eyes and felt his pulse scramble.
Maybe, just in case, he’d see if the sitter could spend the night.
Dinner was lovely. It was a starlit night, and they were able to sit on the restaurant’s deck and linger over coffee.
True to his word, Mike had Melanie back at the cottage by eight, but then he suggested a stroll down to the river. She couldn’t seem to deny herself that much.
The moon shimmered on the surface of the water. A soft breeze stirred the balmy air.
“It’s beautiful,” Melanie murmured, caught up in the tranquility of the night.
“Beautiful,” Mike echoed, his voice sounding oddly choked.
Melanie turned and saw that his gaze was on her. Her own breath caught in her throat.
“Mike,” she whispered.
“Don’t talk,” he said, leaning down until his mouth hovered over hers. “Don’t say another word.”
And then he apparently forgot all about the rules and kissed her as if there was no tomorrow. Melanie thought she was going to go up in flames just from the simple touch of his lips on hers. It was as if she’d been waiting her whole life for this man. Doubts fled as passion stirred.
“I want you so much,” Mike whispered, his breath ragged. “I know it’s a lousy idea. I know we swore we weren’t going to let this happen, but I’m not sure I can go another minute without making love to you.” His gaze searched hers. “How do you feel about that? Say the word and we’ll pretend this never happened.”
Pretend it had never happened? That would be next to impossible, Melanie thought as her blood hummed. The memory of his mouth on hers, of his hands skimming over her breasts, was forever seared on her brain. She’d known what it was like to want a man, but not to crave him, not like this. There was no way in hell she could go back fifteen minutes and pretend nothing had ever happened.
“Don’t stop,” she whispered at last. “Please don’t stop.”
He scooped her into his arms, and before she knew it, they were in her room, in her bed, and nothing else mattered. Not her own lousy choices in the past, not whatever secrets Mike might still be keeping from her. All that mattered were his tenderness and undisguised need for her.
It scared her how much she’d come to need Mike in such a brief time, but she had no idea how to fight the feelings. They simply were.
Someday she would need answers, but not tonight. Tonight all she needed was Mike.
His rough hands were gentle on her skin, the callused fingers wickedly clever as they manipulated the delicate buttons on her blouse until it fell away, exposing her lacy bra and bare flesh. His eyes turned dark with passion as he took his time surveying her before a deft flick of his fingers had her bra undone and she was entirely naked from the waist up.
His mouth captured the tip of her breast, his tongue circling the nipple until it was a tight, hard bud capable of sending shock waves straight to her toes.
He groaned and fell back on the bed. “It’s been too long. I’m never going to last unless we slow things down.”
Melanie reached for the hem of his T-shirt, sliding her fingers along the hard flesh of his abdomen before she lifted the shirt free of his jeans, then tugged it over his head. “I don’t want to go slow,” she said. “I want everything now.”
He grinned. “Impatient, huh?”
“Maybe it’s a female thing. Once we know what we want, we don’t like waiting for it.”
He cupped her cheeks. “And you know what you want where I’m concerned?”
“I want this,” she said at once.
“And nothing more?” he asked, his expression solemn. “There can’t be anything more.”
“I know that,” she said. “I’m leaving, anyway. All any of us has is the here and now.”
He regarded her skeptically. “That’s very philosophical, but is it the way you really feel?”
Melanie sat back, vaguely irritated by the string of questions. “Do you think I don’t know my own mind?”
“No, of course not, but I saw the way you were with your family. I know closeness must be what you want for yourself, and I can’t be anything more than an interlude.”
“You don’t have the right to assume you know what I want out of life,” she retorted, realizing even as she spoke
that the argument was rapidly escalating out of control.
“Then tell me what you want.”
The request deflated her anger. Instead, an exasperated laugh escaped. “You want to have that conversation now?”
He tucked his hands behind his head and leaned back against the pillows, looking relaxed and sexy as sin. “Yes, I think I do.”
“Are you crazy?”
He laughed. “More than likely. Heaven knows, I’ll probably be convinced of that in the morning.” He winked. “Then again, maybe you can convince me that you really do want a fling and we’ll both leave this bed satisfied.”
“You’re impossible.” She studied his expression. “But you’re not giving in on this, are you?”
“No.”
“What about getting home early?”
“Jessie’s fine. Tell me what you want, Melanie.”
She sighed heavily and fell back against the pillows next to him. “I wanted to make love to you. I wanted to know what it would be like to have you inside me, filling me up, making me scream.”
Mike swallowed hard next to her. Good. He deserved to be squirming about now.
“And long-term?” he asked, his voice ragged. “What do you want for the long haul?”
“I have no idea,” she said honestly. “I’ve been trying very hard lately not to think too far into the future. I’ve been discovering that there are advantages to living in the moment, to not having too many unrealistic expectations.”
Frustrated as she was, she found herself glancing at him. “What about you? What do you want long-term?”
“To make a decent home for my daughter,” he said without hesitation. “To do work I enjoy.”
“What about having someone to share it with?” she asked, voicing the one longing she hadn’t been able to push out of her own heart no matter how hard she’d tried.
“An unrealistic expectation,” he said tightly.
“Because you won’t let yourself trust another woman?”
He nodded. “I can’t. If it were only me, maybe I could take that chance, but I won’t put Jessie through losing someone else, just because I’d like to have someone to come home to at night.”
She propped herself up on her elbow and leveled a look straight into his eyes. “You know what I think? I think it doesn’t have anything at all to do with Jessie. I think you’re scared of getting your heart broken again. I think you’re the one who hasn’t recovered from not being important enough to your ex-wife for her to do anything necessary to get off the drugs and save your marriage.”
Mike’s gaze never wavered. He never even flinched under the harsh accusation.
“You’re probably right,” he said at last. “If I hold on to the anger, if I remember every minute of the day and night what it was like to watch Linda self-destruct and abandon Jessie and me, even when she was still right there in the same room, then I won’t ever make that mistake again.”
“That’s sad,” Melanie said.
“Are you any better?” he challenged her. “Are you ready to plunge right in and take another chance on love?”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Sure,” he agreed. “Because I’m a safe bet. I’ve made it plain I’m not looking for anything more than right here and right now and, for tonight, anyway, that suits you. You’re as much of a coward as I am, Melanie.” He gave her a sad look. “Worse, you won’t even talk about why.”
She shivered as the truth hit home. “Because I’m ashamed of what happened,” she suddenly told him. “The man I was involved with, the man I thought I knew so well, the man I loved, turned out to be married with two kids.”
Mike stared at her incredulously. “Turned out to be? You didn’t know?”
“I had no idea,” she admitted. “There were probably a million signs, but I either didn’t recognize them or ignored them because I didn’t want to know the truth. So now you know. I’m an idiot.”
He touched her cheek. “You trusted him and he lied to you. He’s the idiot.”
“At least now you know why my sisters were so determined to ask all those questions when they found out about you. They didn’t trust me to get it right this time, either.”
“I’ve been honest with you from the beginning,” he said. “I might not elaborate too much, but I’ve told you the basics.”
“So, what now?” she asked. “Are we just using each other for sex?”
“Nobody’s using anybody,” Mike said fiercely. “We’re just clearing up the ground rules, deciding if we want to go on.”
“If we have to think this much, maybe it’s the wrong thing to do,” she admitted reluctantly, then moaned. “I can’t believe I’m in bed, half-naked with a gorgeous man, and suggesting that we call the whole thing off.”
“Frankly, that goes double for me.” He glanced sideways at her. “Now that everything’s crystal clear, we could pick up where we left off.”
Melanie poked him in the ribs. “Not a chance. Honesty has thoroughly spoiled the mood.”
He leaned over her, his mouth just above hers. “Bet we could recapture it in a heartbeat.”
Her heart skipped a beat, and renewed heat spread through her. “Think so?”
“I know so,” he said, right before he claimed her mouth and kissed her until she was writhing beneath him.
“Hmm,” she murmured, when she finally caught her breath. “I guess I was wrong.”
“Wrong about what?”
“Honesty’s one heck of a turn-on, after all.” She had no idea why she’d waited so long to tell Mike the truth. Now there were no secrets left to bite either of them in the butt.
When morning came, Mike rolled out of bed, grabbed his pants and headed for the shower. He hadn’t felt this alive in a long, long time. There was something about energetic sex that set the blood to humming in a way that nothing else on earth could do.
When he emerged from the bathroom, Melanie was sprawled across the whole bed, the sheet twisted around her in a way that revealed far more than it concealed. His body responded at once, and his plan to get to work early and pretend this was just an ordinary day promptly fell by the wayside.
He sat down on the edge of the bed and smoothed his hand over her rounded backside. The little whimpering sound that emerged from low in her throat reminded him of all the other sexy little moans she’d uttered when they’d made love.
“Wake up, darlin’,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the hollow at the base of her spine.
“Is it morning?” she asked sleepily.
“It is by my standards.”
“You leaving?”
“That was the plan,” he said.
She rolled over and squinted at him. “Was?” she echoed, sounding intrigued by the possibilities.
“Unless you’re interested in having me stay,” he said.
“For breakfast?” she taunted.
“Maybe later.”
“Ah.” She reached up and touched the damp curls on his chest. “You’ve already taken a shower.”
“True.”
“And you’re half-dressed.”
“Only half,” he emphasized.
“So it wouldn’t take much to persuade you to get undressed?” she concluded, clearly amused.
“Not much at all,” he agreed. “Maybe a kiss.”
“I can do that,” she said, reaching for him and giving him a chaste peck on the cheek.
Mike laughed. “You’ll have to do better than that. Think you’re up to it?”
She wound her fingers through his hair and kissed him thoroughly until there was no question at all of leaving. The only question was how fast he could get out of his jeans and back inside her.
She was ready for him, her hips arching to meet him, her body already straining toward yet another hard, fast climax that sent shudders sweeping through her right before they triggered his own explosion.
Sweet heaven, he thought, collapsing. How had he missed the fact that urgent, demanding
sex could be just as rewarding as long, lingering caresses and a slow buildup of anticipation? The night had been filled with the full range of experiences, each one more satisfying than the one before.
And still it hadn’t been enough. He would want Melanie again in an hour or a day or a month. The realization slammed into him like a freight train. Panic followed, clawing at him, churning up a fight-or-flight reaction that made him want to leap from the bed and head for the door. Only an awareness that Melanie didn’t deserve that kind of cowardly escape kept him where he was, silent and withdrawn, but at least present. She’d trusted him with her deepest secret last night, told him about the man who’d lied to her and betrayed her. He couldn’t prove that he was just as much of a lowlife in his own way by running out on her now.
Next to him she sighed. “You can go,” she said softly. “I know you want to.”
“No, I…” he began, but the protest died in his throat when he saw the knowing amusement lurking in the depths of her eyes.
“It’s okay, really. Go pick up Jessie. I’ll be fine. No expectations, Mike. That was our agreement.”
“It doesn’t feel right to take off on you like that,” he said.
“I’m not responsible for your conscience,” she told him. “You do have my permission to go, though.”
Because he did need to pick up Jessie and get her to school, because he was terrified of what he was feeling for Melanie right this instant, he crawled from the bed and pulled on his clothes.
“I’ll call you later or stop by,” he said, looking down at her. “Maybe the three of us can do something tonight.”
Melanie shook her head. “Not tonight.”
“Why? Do you have other plans?”
“No. I just think we both need to take a step back and remember what we talked about here last night, not just how it felt to be together. The sex was fabulous, but the words were just as important, Mike. We can’t let ourselves forget them, not for a minute.”
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