by CORY CYR
“Why are you doing this?” I asked, whispering.
“Because I want you, and I know you feel the same. I’m caught between desiring to make passionate love to you or bending you over my desk. My cock is so hard right now it’s downright painful. And if I had to make an educated guess, you’re wet. You and I have been toying with this idea for a week. Let’s just have at it. Get it out of our systems and go on from there.”
“You make it sound so romantic,” I said sardonically.
“You gave me the feeling passion is off the table when you wouldn’t let me kiss you. Did you know kissing is far more intimate an act than penetration? So I’ll keep my lips below your chin.”
My entire body trembled with the idea. It had been years, and I needed more relief than my vibrator could provide. Especially after a day’s work of reading smut to a desirable, sexy man. But would having sex with him change the dynamics of our relationship? His books made me needy, but it was his appearance that made me feel shallow because it would be hard to deny someone as beautiful as Lincoln. A man who couldn’t see me as I was, but wanted the mirage of beauty anyway.
He stood, spinning my chair, placing his hand on the curve of my neck. “Am I allowed to kiss you here?” he asked, his fingers fumbling as he pulled aside my shirt collar, pressing his lips to my bare collarbone. “And maybe right here,” he murmured, pushing my shirt down even farther and placing a peck on my upper spine. A nervous flutter of heat made my nipples eager and my breasts heavy. His fingers splayed across my shoulder. “Can I remove this top?” I nodded as though I were hypnotized by the sound of his voice before realizing he wouldn’t be aware I’d given permission. I bent slightly forward, tugging my shirt over my head. The cool air made my skin prickle.
He sighed as he reached around with one hand, tracing the embellishment on the bra. He slid in a hand, cupping a breast. “Goddamn, you have nice tits, and I’ll bet gorgeous, but I’ll go with luscious.” He unsnapped the hook. He hadn’t needed sight. It was obvious he'd done this many times before. He was clearly used to seduction in the dark. His hands made quick work as he kneaded my breasts. I had to bite my lip in order to keep from moaning. I knew this was ill advised. Lucas surely hadn’t planned this for his brother, and I hadn’t either.
His hands ghosted below my breasts and traveled south to my belly button. A pulsing bombarded my apex, and I throbbed for gratification. My body became taut as he forced me upright, allowing his fingers to glide along my waistband. I heard the metal teeth separating as my zipper disengaged. The entire time, he never stopped kissing my body, his office filling with our sensuous groans. I felt an awakening hit me as he tugged down my shorts, slipping a hand inside the back of my panties. Mortification enveloped my face, causing my cheeks to blaze red. Once he got to the seam, he’d know I was soaked. I could hear the sounds his fingers made as they drifted in and out of me.
“Goddammit, Jensyn, I wish I could see your face. I crave every inch of you right now. In this position, I can’t taste you properly, but make no mistake about it. As soon as possible, I’m going to lay you out like a fucking all-you-can-eat buffet and gorge myself.”
His words made my pussy thump, and I wondered if he could sense those beats. He had two fingers inside me as his thumb flicked over the nub of my clit. My heart was palpitating as he inched closer to my back.
“Do you want my cock? Because it wants you. I hate not giving you the entire menu of foreplay, but that will come later, rest assured. I know what you’re thinking. I have metaphors, many. That’s because I’m in a terrible debate right now. I can’t decide if my tongue wants you more, or my dick. So tell me, Jensyn. Which is it?”
“I… need… you… to fuck me. I want to feel you inside,” I stammered, not believing my own words. When did I become so brave?
I felt him against me and wondered when he’d removed his own shorts and put on a condom. I had seen his cock, but now I was feeling it as he pressed into me urgently. I hoped I was ready, because he seemed bigger resting against my ass.
Lincoln prodded my entrance with one finger to test the readiness. “You feel really tight,” he whispered next to my ear. “I want it to be pleasurable, not painful for you, and because I can’t see you, I need you to speak up. I’m not the jerk you may think I am. Bend slightly, hands on the desk.”
I yelped as he entered me from behind. It burned with a fury. I didn’t even recall if losing my virginity had hurt as much. Of course, I’d had copious amounts of alcohol to numb the pain.
Lincoln rocked into me as he held me steady. He leaned in on my shoulder as his thrusts became faster. His dick swelled, making it feel extremely taut. I closed my eyes as I hung my head, using the desk to support me. My legs began to weaken as an unfamiliar tremor curled my toes and radiated to my thighs. This orgasm was different from the ones I had with my vibrator. As fulfilling as self-gratification could be, it couldn’t compete with a virile young man.
He stopped abruptly, then drove back into me forcefully. With every grunt, the hold on my body grew tighter. “Jensyn,” he growled, unencumbered.
My legs finally buckled as my climax slammed into me. My breathing became labored as I spasmed several times, pushing my body back into him, the desk keeping me from falling. I held my cries to myself. We stood there connected as we strove to catch our breaths.
His lips grazed the back of my neck. “I’m kind of hungry, and I need a cigarette,” he said, pulling out slowly. I felt his finger brush against my pussy as he captured the edges of the condom. “Jesus, I needed that. Damn, it felt good. What about it, Jensyn?”
A million words came to mind, yet I struggled to find one. “Sandwich worthy,” I replied awkwardly, turning to face him, “but not cancer stick worthy.”
“So we agree on the food part. I suppose that’s meeting each other halfway. Can I at least know if it was good for you? I know you got off, but how was it?”
“Taking notes for your next book, Bass?” I questioned suspiciously.
He roared with laughter. “Very funny. Maybe next time you can take shorthand while I’m banging you.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “And what makes you think there’s going to be a next time?” I inquired.
He stood partially naked, crossing his arms. “My dick is kind of like a potato chip. You can’t have it just once.”
“I don’t recall eating of any kind.”
“That’s why a do-over is necessary. I can’t allow you to think I was remiss in my sexual duties. Besides, I’ve only given you a small part of the tour. We have many more areas to cover.”
I snorted, arranging my shorts and putting on my shirt. It was an odd sensation being able to watch him but having him visually unaware. His legs looked strong with muscled thighs, and I tried not to stare as he carefully removed the condom. Twisting the tip, he reached behind him, using his hands to feel for the waste can. He appeared unabashed by his nudity, sitting back on his chair. I grabbed his shorts off the floor and put them in his lap.
“Trying to conceal my dick?” he asked in a cocky voice.
I arranged my bra under my shirt, then pulled my hair back, ignoring the subject. “Didn’t you say you were hungry and needed a smoke? I highly suggest clothes since you’ll be outside and you’re so concerned with paparazzi. I’m thinking a cock shot would be worth a ton of money.”
He turned toward me, slipping on his shorts. For a moment, I became sad because I would be no longer privy to his lower half. Us having sex didn’t even seem to fluster him at all. He acted as though it were commonplace.
“I’m guessing you have sex all the time with your writer friends.”
He laughed, standing. “Since most of my author acquaintances happen to be men, I’m going to say no. But I think you’re referring to my editor, Kami. That happened a long time ago and only a few times. She started acting all clingy and shit. I’m kind of a rogue when it comes to lovers. I can’t have it interfering with my process. Plus, I travel quite a bit.
” He sighed. “Well, before all this bullshit happened with my sight. I don’t think I’ll be skydiving, climbing mountains, or spear fishing anymore unless divine intervention intercedes.
“I’m not the kind of man that deals with attachments well, at least of a personal nature. It makes me feel suffocated. She’d love to take care of me right now, but I know it would lead to more, at least from her side. The only thing in my life I want to be truly attached to is my writing. It’s the only thing I really care about. Well, that and doing extreme sports. And, Kami, she…” He paused, digging through his pockets, finally producing a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. “She wanted more. Hell, she imagined there was more. All of this between you and me, I hope it can just be fun with no strings. You’re not planning to fall madly in love with me now that you’ve had earth-shattering sex with a famous author, are you?”
I hit his arm with a laugh. “I swear, as fabulous as you think you are, I can guarantee I will never have those kinds of feelings for you. Now, while you go get lung disease, I’ll make some sandwiches.”
“I’m never going to hear the end of my smoking. Are you sure you weren’t prepped by Lucas, because you sure sound like him?” He wagged both eyebrows with a dastardly grin. “Just so I’m clear, you don’t feel like my brother. If I keep thinking about those perfect breasts and wet pussy, I’m going to get hard again. Maybe I can fuck you in the kitchen later?”
“Just go. Now.” I laughed, pointing to the door. I admonished myself because I constantly forgot he couldn’t see my physical motions. It was because this was so natural. This was the life I was supposed to have. Maybe not with someone so young, but my days began to feel ordinary. I tried not to think about what would come after.
I steered him toward the living room and let him make his own way from there. He wanted to feel independent, so instead of me walking him to each area, I’d allowed him safe freedom. It often resulted in curse words and bruises, but I could see satisfied accomplishment on his face regardless.
I threw together ham and cheese sandwiches. I did laugh when I added potato chips to each plate. Yeah, he was kind of like them. I could never eat just one even when I was modeling. Though, I had put on a few pounds and added inches here and there, but I never really had to watch my weight. My height aided in that fact.
I walked outside to the veranda. He quickly snubbed out his smoke when he heard my footsteps. “Food ready?” he asked, running into me. “Because I am starved.” I took his arm and guided him to the kitchen, sitting him down by his plate. “Any chance we could make the swordfish tonight? I thought we’d work late. I mean, if that’s all right. You don’t have a husband or significant other you’re hiding, do you?” he mumbled, taking a bite of his sandwich.
I slammed my plate down. “What kind of person do you think I am? We just had sex. Do I come across as a cheating slut? Wow, it’s nice to know how you see me… or rather envision me.” I spoke angrily.
He stopped eating, his expression one of apology. “Wow, I’m sorry. I thought I was being funny. I truly apologize if I offended you. And you, Jensyn, are no slut. Please don’t say it again. Ever. I keep forgetting I don’t know you well, and evidently, I hit a nerve. I can’t imagine anyone not wanting you.”
Tears filled my eyes, but I wiped them away. He would never see them anyway. I never had to hide from this man, because he judged me on my character, not looks. We sat quietly eating our food. I nibbled on a chip as he polished off the two sandwiches I’d made for him.
I pushed away my plate as he searched for my hand. His fingers wrapped around my wrist. “Please don’t be mad at me. You’re the only one I trust right now.”
“I’m not mad, Lincoln. I overreacted to your comments. That’s all. It dredged up a bad time from my past.” I certainly couldn’t tell him I’d been married before. He’d ask too many questions, and I wanted so much to forget that part of my life. He was safe for me. He couldn’t see, and he wanted noncommittal sex. I was happy to oblige.
His lips caressed my knuckles. “I want to kiss your mouth so badly.”
“We already had that talk. Kissing me isn’t up for discussion. I just don’t enjoy it.” I lied.
“Well, I’m a really good kisser. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and say it’s a tossup which part is better, my cock or lips. We could do a poll.”
I chuckled. “How about we stick to just sex without the romance of kissing?”
“Okay, I’ll relent on two conditions. Tonight, we make swordfish, and you stay over.”
“But…” I hesitated. “Can we agree on the one? Because I can’t stay overnight. Seriously, how would it look? I can stay late, put in some hours after dinner, but I think you’re moving too fast.”
“You’ve made it evident you don’t have anyone to answer to, and I remember you saying you were retired. So I don’t see any problem here. And who the hell would find out anyway, the stalkers in the bushes?” He laughed.
“You think it’s funny now, but you had real concerns when we walked the property.”
“Things are different now. You and I mesh; we have a technique. You’re part of my process now.”
I crossed my arms and pierced him with a glare he couldn’t see. “Are you referring to our work ethics or the sex part?” I asked.
I detected laughter in his eyes. “I think both.”
“And he says I’m a comedian.”
“It’s not that big of a deal. It will most likely be super late. Hell, it might be an all-nighter. Haven’t had one of those since my accident. Just so I’m clear, I am talking about the book. Get your mind out of the gutter.”
I agreed reluctantly, trying to figure out how to let Anai know without actually knowing. Shit, that didn’t even make sense to me. I finally sent her a text and said I’d be gone until tomorrow night. Everything was fine, and I’d explain more tomorrow. I had a feeling there were going to be many explanations to go around since I’d missed my appointment with Lucas, too.
“Have you heard from your brother lately,” I questioned nonchalantly, taking our plates to the dishwasher.
“Yeah, the other day. He said he was just checking in, but no doubt he was spying, wanting to know if you and I were working out.”
That was the day I’d missed our appointment. “I assume you thanked him profusely for sending such a valuable asset.”
“Yeah, I told him you were working out okay.”
I bumped him with my hip. “Just okay, huh?”
“Well, I hadn’t fucked you yet, so that’s all I had to go on,” he mused arrogantly.
“You will keep that bit of personal information to yourself. I’m guessing Lucas didn’t send me over to help you with that.”
“You worry too much. I seriously doubt my brother would care if I were screwing the help.”
The help. He had no idea that no matter how many books he sold in his lifetime, it would never equal my net worth. “Regardless, I’d prefer to keep that part of this friendship quiet. I realize how much men love to gossip about their conquests, but I’m nobody, so don’t bother.”
“You’re somebody to me. I couldn’t get this book finished without you, and you’re helping make sure I stay focused. You tend to my needs… and if one of those needs happens to be a blowjob or sex, I think this partnership is perfect.”
“You are a piece of work. Let’s get this filthy chapter finished so you can enslave me and force me to cook that damn fish,” I suggested.
We worked until sunset. It took almost four hours to complete the revisions on chapter six. I honestly think it was Lincoln wanting to hear me repeat those obscene words. I was tired. I understood now how just sitting behind a desk and writing all day could be exhausting. Also, having sex made me lethargic and deliciously sore. I yearned for another round but didn’t know how to approach the subject. I would wait until he took the lead.
“The secret is the herbs. When you mix them in with the seafood sauce, it seeps into the fish. Then you add a
small amount of olive oil and wrap it tightly in foil, bake it for fifteen minutes at four hundred degrees. Make sure we don’t overcook it, because it will dry out and taste like shit.”
“Did your mother teach you to cook?” I asked, boiling water for brown rice.
“My mom taught me Polynesian cooking, but my dad was the expert on fish. He took me out fishing when I was six and had me spear hunting by twelve. We always ate whatever we caught. I miss that part of my life.”
“You know, regardless, there are a ton of outdoor sports you can still do. I’m sure many people who have lost their sight still climb mountains and jump from planes. I wish I knew how to get you to that point, but it may take years. I’m guessing all of it depends on you.”
His fingers circled the rim of the wine glass after he carefully poured some in. “All of this is my own fault. I did this to myself. Oh, you can say wrong place, wrong time, but truthfully, I chose that instance.” He took a large gulp, then slid his hand through his hair.
I added the rice to the water, then poured myself a glass of wine, sitting next to him. “Want to tell me what happened?”
“Not really. I doubt you’d understand.”
He had no idea how much I would understand. I too had always thought I was at that intersection, the wrong place, at the wrong time, and if I’d just deviated from one single act, my life would have turned out so different. But for the first time, I felt content, not so miserable. Maybe this was why Lucas chose me. He knew I’d care more about his brother than myself, that I would put my energies into helping him even if I didn’t have the will to aid myself.
He was right. Having a purpose made all your own inferiorities less. I, however, still felt guilty because I knew my self-worth depended upon the fact that Lincoln had no sight. Him being blind was an asset to how I coped daily. And the more time we spent together, the more I prayed it would never come back. My world would shatter if he saw me as I really was.
“That’s okay. I get it. We both have our secrets. I think your fish is done.”
